Fake Rancher/Farmer Clayton Tucker Apparently Unaware We Have Had The FDA For Over 100 Years.

Rarely does a week go by where local communist (and Chairman of the Lampasas Democrat Party) Clayton Tucker doesn’t blame the free market for all that is wrong in his life and the United States. He’s back at it again with the nutritional labels of oatmeal….

He hates our “Americanized shitty cereal” so much that he donated some to the local mission last year….

Of course, his moronic “facts” in that photo came from TikTok and are completely false:

Lying about food standards in America for views

One of his readers even pointed it out. That happens a lot, but NEVER results in him taking down the “misinformation” he is spewing.

Of course, I would never scream “misinformation” and demand censoring or de-platforming like left-wing cunts do. I just point out how they are 100% wrong, show my work, and move on. THAT is how you arrive at truth. NOT by censoring everyone and then calling it a bullshit term like “disinformation. Right Potato Head?

The first fellow communist – Horacio Martinez – yammers about capitalists “cutting corners” to maximize profits. Um, if they were cutting corners, wouldn’t they be putting LESS additional (and costly) additives and chemicals in the cereal??

A second moron named Annette Krausse is somehow under the impression that there are no regulations on food in the United States.

In fact, the FDA has been around in one form or another for over 100 years. They have 18,000 employees and spent about SEVEN BILLION dollars per year.

Of course, all those billions don’t really matter when you employ morons like Gaylon Amonett on the front lines.

Instead of correcting Annette and informing her that food IS heavily regulated in the U.S. (or admitting that every single thing on that nutritional label must, by definition be FDA approved as safe), the fake rancher and supposed food expert agrees with her: “but for real tho!

So either the fake rancher Clayton Tucker is deliberately lying to try and score cheap political points OR he is a moron of biblical proportions. Take your pick. I pick #2, as always.

Remember, this is the gal who thinks that all milk has Windex in it and that all cereals have a made-up chemical called “glyophates” in them.

Fulton Fires Back At Haters. Basically Admits To Being A Terrible Businessman. Paints Wong In Unflattering Light

It was only a matter of time before Fulton had to try and plug the many holes in his sinking ship. It’s called damage control. But he couched it as “taking the high road,” of course. The high road apparently involves lots of vague insinuations about a Vietnamese guy who likely has no phone, no social media and no command of the English language – so it’s safe to take a shit on his head to try and save your investment.

To wit:

If people have to tell you how honest they are and how much integrity they have, well…the lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Also, if you are about to toss a bunch of money into a restaurant and some guy is like “hey, this AWESOME restaurant that EVERYONE loves is in trouble or closing down,” or whatever, the FIRST THING that I’d be asking is “why?” Mister Super Businessman with 21 companies under the (now bankrupt) Fulton/Mercer Corp who owns flower shops and funeral homes and exotic pet markets and skin care shit and all that didn’t think to do BASIC due diligence on this whole thing? Makes himself look like a completely incompetent boob.

He continues…

The guy is Asian in the restaurant industry, buddy. If it’s your “lifelong dream” to own a restaurant, you should have known that EVERY Chinese restaurant has a room in back where the entire family lives on mattresses on the floor with about 5 kids. Common knowledge my man.

Outstanding debts? Due diligence again!!

Exhibiting “unacceptable” behavior? Like what? Very vague. Sounds like bullshit. Also, the behavior was “uncharacteristic”? How do you know? You basically just met the guy.

There’s more…

Disturbing reports surfaced“? Again, very vague and sounds to me like – GASP – gossip! The VERY THING you are complaining about happening to you right now on Facebook! What kind of reports? Police reports? I doubt it. Maybe some “he said/she said” shit? Or maybe just a story you concocted last night when you saw your ship sinking? Impossible to check and thus works in your favor. Very convenient.

Allegations of misconduct and inappropriate remarks.” Allegations by whom? From when? Is this a “Trump raped me in 1992…or maybe 1995…so did Kavanaugh” kind of bullshit? Sure sounds like it. But what better way to take the heat off yourself for being an asshole than to accuse the other guy of being a misogynist – which is all the rage these days and trumps all else. Very convenient again!

An outburst towards a MINOR employee?! Oh my. You just had to say “minor” to make him look worse, didn’t you. Some moron on Facebook even took the bait and wrote “hey, this guy is creeping on 15-year-olds” which is probably EXACTLY what Fulton wants but not even close to what Fulton actually said. He made one vague accusation of “allegations of misconduct towards woman” and then ANOTHER completely different mention about an “outburst towards a minor.” I doubt any of that was by mistake. Then you get a dipshit Mercer apologist or two to “corroborate” it all with MORE vague b.s. like this:

“Not good at all”! Well, that clears it all up! FYI: Cook-Gass is an employee of Mercer’s – and thus knows where her bread is buttered.

…and next thing you know, everyone thinks he’s some kind of pervert. Which is just the kind of smear that would save Fulton’s ass.

An “outburst towards a minor employee” could be Wong yelling at some dumb shit teenager to get off their phone and get to work. That sure sounds more plausible to me. Funny that Eve Sanchez was a well-known asshole employer/cook as well, but nobody said “boo” about all that, did they?

If you cant handle a little yelling in the kitchen, you are in the wrong business. Quit and go be a fake rancher or something.

Also Mr. Fulton, if you are so concerned about “minors,” why did you basically screw over the foster care system last year?

Former child placement agency shut down after alleged financial irregularities

From all the allegations, sounds like you basically lined your pockets at the expense of kids, no? But now you are the champion of “minors”? LOL. You make me laugh.

Verdict: STILL ON TEAM WONG!!!

P.S. If ANY of the vague innuendo about Wong being a pervert and “doing stuff” to “minors” is true, then why has nobody filed a police report??? There are actual laws against that stuff. Put up or shut up.

Far-Left Radical Crone Carol Garner Doughty FINALLY About To Leave Texas For Massachusetts – She’s Gonna LOVE Drag Queen Story Hour.

After yammering for YEARS about how awful Texas is, far-left crone Carol Garner Doughty and her Stephen Hawking doppelganger are FINALLY packing up their Tesla and moving to Lenox MA.

Affordable housing? So you’ll be selling your Austin mansion for 70% below market value, right??

The BLM-loving moron who claims to ADORE diversity will be living in a small town that is 98.57% white. Just enough black people to clean your house and manicure the rose bushes, right lady?

Airport?! Don’t those things use fossil fuels?!

Carol is going to fit right in up there. Why? Because they are all about insane shit like mentally ill men dressing up like whores and encouraging toddlers to chant ‘Free Palestine’!

Drag Queen Makes Tiny Kids Chant “Free Palestine”

Oh, if only Carol were about 72 years younger. She could join the other horrible, batshit insane moms with toddlers and expose her child to this insanity…

Some people don’t deserve to be parents.

Don’t worry though. Carol managed to mess her daughter up pretty well, considering all this tranny stuff only really got rolling 5 or 6 years ago. Carol’s daughter currently thinks she is a man and also TWO people as she insists on the pronouns “they/them”

‘James’ is just her bull-dyke daughter. No big deal.

Anyways, Carol and Stephen Hawking had some fellow snobs over for a goodbye dinner. I’m sure they spent two hours bashing Trump over lemongrass tea and canapes from Whole Foods. But now it’s time to pack those yoga mats into their NPR-logo carrying bags and hop on a giant, carbon-spewing airplane to start their wonderful new life in libtard Utopia!

I’m sure it is just coincidence that they tolerated the “violent, bloody” state of Texas (and our ZERO state income tax) for all these years while hubby was working and only NOW in retirement will move to Taxachusetts where there IS a nice, big state income tax!

Don’t worry though. I’ll still check in on her once in a while – if only to point out the hypocrisy of them taking 8 or 10 trips a year by airplane while at the same time demanding fossil fuels be outlawed for the little people.

Enjoy the insanity, you shrew!! Good riddance.

Fulton Apparently Tired Of Sodomizing Only Mercer. Decides To Screw a Different Wong In Restaurant Soap Opera.

Well, it’s been a while since there was a massive blowup soap opera in Lampasas but boy, is this one a doozy!

Oh, and look! It’s the Fulton/Mercer duo AGAIN this time! What are the odds??

Oh no she di int!

In case you didn’t know, here is the Cliff’s Notes version:

Jason Fulton (husband of flamboyantly gay wanna-be Hollywood star James Mercer) financially backed a new restaurant in town Called Mei Yuan. It was open less than a month. Now all of a sudden the name changes and master Vietnamese chef Quan Wong is out on his ass and allegedly all his recipes are stolen.

[Note this is AFTER Fulton got a HUGE front-page spread of free advertising in the Lampasas Dispatch when they did a very sympathetic story on Quan [March 22, 2024 edition] and how he has been fucked over most of his life – mainly by commie bastards]

Most scandalously, it appears Fulton (or an underling) was busted responding to questions online and pretending to be Quan Wong, even though it was painfully obvious the writing was COMPETELY different – as you’d expect when a white person from Lampasas writes posing as a Vietnamese guy who has posted before in broken English.

Lots of people started shitting on Mercer’s head over this but he has claimed he has nothing to do with this new venture. Technically, that is probably true. I’m guessing Mercer still has his hands full after the LAST Mercer/Fulton venture (with 21 businesses under the Fulton Mercer Corporation) went bankrupt in spectacular style leaving over $205,000 owed to employees with charges of wage theft, 47 charges of unpaid wage claims and other darker rumors about missing children and Mercer/Fulton-owned crematoriums running at odd hours. Stuff that sounds insane, but THESE days who knows.

There was the usual small smattering of Mercer-defenders who intimated that Quan himself caused this implosion and that he is either a raging alcoholic or drug addict who needs to “seek rehab.” Oh, and he yells at people in the kitchen.

As someone who worked in many a kitchen in my younger years, I say: ‘yeah, so what?’ My buddy had a ‘snowball’ made of raw, ground up hamburger meat thrown at his head in the kitchen by our enraged catering boss Brendan Kennedy back around 1990. Frankly, the kid deserved it. I also worked in Charlie Trotter’s kitchen once in the early 90s and he was the biggest asshole on the planet. I have some pretty funny stories from those days. Perhaps in another blog post.

But back to the Mercer/Fulton/Wong kerfuffle.

The online armies have lined up.

One one side is probably 90% of Lampasas who thinks these guys are slimy douchebags who definitely fucked poor Quan over big time. I count myself in this camp but also wouldn’t be shocked if Quan hit the sauce, yelled at people or maybe snuck in the opium pipe somewhere. He works in a kitchen, for crying out loud. You don’t want to know what goes on in kitchens. Just enjoy what comes out the door and stfu about the rest of it.

I also loved Quan immediately from his Dispatch article because he must definitely hate commies even more than me. He possibly even killed a few of them, too. That gives him a lot of credits in my book. Hating and killing commies FAR outweighs any ALLEGED substance abuse, as far as I’m concerned.

Quan Wong could climb up on Fulton’s fancy car and take a shit through the sunroof, and I would STILL be on Team Wong. Like, yeah he definitely shit in your car but he killed a bunch of commies in his younger days. Not guilty, your honor.

The other side are the 3% who are (and have always been) Fulton/Mercer apologists and who are likely mostly schlubs who get a paycheck from some Mercer enterprise or another or just morons who are on the wrong side of every issue by nature, because they are quasi-retarded (Haywood, Fitzharris).

Then you have the remaining 7% of rubberneckers who say stupid shit like “this is why nobody opens a new business in Lampasas – all the drama” and are missing the big picture.

The Big Picture:

The Big Picture is nobody wants to go support a business with an owner who would fuck somebody over like that. So they want answers.

#1 – Fulton could have said “we parted ways and Wong is no loner here” and that probably would have been the end of it. But some retard (either Fulton himself or an underling) appears to have gone out of their way to impersonate Wong and give the impression he’s still there. That rubs a LOT of people the wrong way. If the recipe stealing is true (I have no idea if it is) then Fulton is an even bigger piece of shit and people will make it a point NOT to eat there. I know I would.

No Wongee, no eatee.

Kind of like “no tickee, no washee”

#2 – Fulton had a chance to explain it all but instead played a bitch card with three ridiculous statements. His answer was, in a nutshell (1) you aren’t even from here (2) there are two sides to every story but I won’t tell you either one of them and (3) stop being a child.

Notice how he AGAIN avoids giving any answers. Kind of the way they did last year when KSAT showed up at Heritage Funeral Home and tried to get an explanation out of Mercer. Instead, they hid inside and refused to come out, like pussies.

When you are accused of over $200k of wage theft and go bankrupt fucking people over, you might want to explain yourself. Otherwise, you look like a complete asshole. Which is what is happening now.

#3 – If Fulton has the money to throw into this Chinese restaurant venture, does that mean he has made whole all the people who were claiming wage theft? I mean, if you are tossing money into a risky restaurant venture and STILL haven’t paid off everyone from your LAST business debacle, then you are a big piece of shit, once again.

From my understanding and what I’ve seen, Mercer has a, shall we say, VERY loose relationship with the truth. The biggest lie, of course, is when he ran for JP and posted photos of him and his daughters everywhere dressed like a Reagan Republican while his homosexual partner was conspicuously left out of those photos…

…when the reality was massively different….

Let’s face it, there’s gay…and then there is GAY. Like, the kind of off-the-charts gayness that seems to be exaggerated on purpose with the lisping and the gaybonics speaking.

To paraphrase Robert Downey Jr in Tropic Thunder: never go full gaytard.

I don’t really care how many cocks you gobble, but be who you are and own it. Don’t pretend to be Norman Rockwell to gain office under false pretenses when you are actually Liberace and everyone knows it.

Probably why you lost.

Anyways, this thing smells like Kristi Noem and her dog or maybe Tiger Woods and his SUV crash in 2009 when it came out he was actually banging like 30 Denny’s waitresses and his entire life imploded overnight. I can see that happening with a Happy Panda boycott. The restaurant biz is a tough one, but if 90% of the town thinks you fucked over the sympathetic figure of Quan Wong, I’m guessing you won’t last long.

Hey, there’s a limerick in there somewhere…..

  • There once was a guy who loved schlong
  • Who dumped his new partner, named Wong
  • He angered his City
  • It doesn’t look pretty
  • I don’t think this place will last long

5-3-24 11amNEWSFLASH – Heritage Funeral Home building foreclosure imminent?

Does Potato Head Stephanie Fitzharris Hate All Her Liberal Friends? Or Did She Simply Lie To My Face?

I had a fairly bizarre run-in with local BLM-loving, Biden-adoring, cop-bashing, forced-masking, fake-vax-loving screwball Stephanie Fitzharris a few weeks ago.

She waved me down outside of M&M Butcher Block and tried to explain to me that she’s “not into politics anymore” so it’s all cool, man.

Oh! Well, I guess I’ll forget all the damage you and people like you did (and continue to do) with all the authoritarian bullshit, the “misinformation” nonsense, and the censoring and de-platforming of anyone who questioned the narrative.

Not to mention the fake Covid election rules that allowed mail-in ballots and drop boxes to enable massive fraud and propel a retard into the White House – thus basically destroying the greatest country on earth for no reason.

All because you want to pretend that NOW you’re just an apple-pie-loving champion of freedom and the Constitution, so locals don’t give you the stink eye.

No, I don’t think so.

If You Refused To Be Forced Into a Mask For Covid, Stephanie Fitzharris Called You “Selfish, Arrogant, Simple, Self-Consumed, Defiant and a Yahoo”

Mind you, this is the same idiot who has called me a liar repeatedly despite the fact I have posted screenshots of HER OWN WORDS dozens of times. I’m not a big fan of being called a liar when I am clearly telling the truth.

They weren’t asked. They were forced – under threat of job loss. Kids had ZERO choice in the schools. Also forced.

All her desperation does is show me that maybe I am poisoning the well here for her in her new town. This only encourages me. I want LESS Stephanie Fitzharrises in Lampasas. Not more. Besides, I thought she was going to move out to Oregon. Whatever happened to that? More bullshit like writing the screenplay?

Pretty sure someone beat you to your story in 1951. It was called The Idiot.

Anyways, during her rambling, as part of her “we’re on the same side” bullshit, she even told me “I was injured by the vaccine.”

That is a HUGE admission from Potato Head. Unfortunately, I don’t believe it.

Now, I’ pretty sure I told her “I don’t believe a word you’re telling me” at LEAST five times during this conversation in response to her various claims. But of all the nonsense she told me, THAT was the least believable of all.

Why?

Because if she was REALLY vaccine injured, she should be trumpeting that fact loud and repeatedly on the social media she loves so much. Much the same way people trumpet warnings about scumbag contractors or scammers in town. You do it for the common good so others don’t get fucked over like you did.

She’d be alerting her libtard friends like Carol Garner Doughty, Clayton Tucker, Grady Lucas, Bruce Haywood and Garry Brown to think twice about the “vaccine” and admit that it fucked her up. Maybe she’d link to one of the DOZENS of studies showing many, many horrible outcomes of the “vaccine” as well.

But she didn’t. So there are only three possibilities here:

#1 – she secretly hates all her liberal friends and wants to see them take more boosters.

#2 – she is embarrassed she got snookered by Fauci and can’t bear to admit any of this publicly after her non-stop shaming of the unvaccinated three years ago…and thus, she is a massive coward. She’d rather have people get hurt than take a shot to her ego and admit she was 100% wrong.

#3 – She lied to my face to make her life easier here in town.

I’m going to have to go with #3.

Local Commie Twists Himself Into Logic Pretzels To Explain Previous Lies.

City council is taking a breather right now between greenlighting a $2.2 million “facelift” on the Hostess House and finding a tenant for their empty $7.3 million Business Pork. Next LEDC meeting isn’t for two weeks. So I’m going to focus on bashing our local moron communist this week. There is plenty to ridicule, as always.

Let’s start with Comrade Clayton trying to cover his previous lies. It’s somewhat of a hobby of his.

For many years, Comrade Clayton claimed to be a farmer. You see, he’s “always been a cattle family” except for those lies he told to a liberal rag newspaper when he was running for office and never thought anyone would check up on it….

Wow. Clearing the fields! Putting in crops! Sounds like a lot of food. What kind of crops did you grow and where did you sell them?

Crickets.

The farmer lie has always been tough for her to explain. After all, there is ZERO record of her ever growing, harvesting or selling a single vegetable or other ‘farm’ product. And she takes pictures of EVERYTHING for social media. The closest she came to being a “farmer” was some fake photo ops with local garden loon Janet ‘Crazier’ Crozier back when she was running for City council.

Aaaand…she never went back again. Even though her mom’s house (where she lives) is about 3 blocks from the garden.

So it’s one of her many “loose ends” that causes her much embarrassment for getting caught in a whopper of a lie. At least it should.

But NOW it appears she THINKS she has found a way around this.

Is this like the “buzzards versus vultures” thing you were 100% wrong on a few months ago? I think it is.

No, I don’t think so, ding dong. A ranch is for livestock and a farm is for crops. Your grandpa understood that when he called it the RX RANCH long before your newspaper lie about being a farmer….

You even mentioned “clearing the field for crops” when you lied to the newspaper a few years ago about being a farmer. Then you called yourself a “fifth-generation rancher” and blabber about your grandfather naming the RANCH. So for a moment there during your lies, you knew the definitions.

Mark Langford is a RANCHING mogul. Not a farmer. It says so RIGHT HERE. My friends at Winters Family Beef call THEIR operation a ranch too! Amazing! Don’t those dummies know they are actually running a FARM?

My cousin in Michigan is a huge farmer of soybeans – a crop. I’ve never heard him call his soybean farm a ranch. Because he is not an imbecile.

Instead of tying yourself in convoluted logic pretzels to cover up your previous lies, maybe just stop lying?

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

That’s a quote from Walter Scott…the POET. If you called him a journalist, you’d be wrong. Learn the definition of things, moron. Especially when you falsely claim to be those things.

Three Years Ago This Week, I Had My First Double Orgasm. “I Thought I Saw A Flash Through My Eyelids”

The first week of May 2021 was an incredible week. Pretty sure I had my first double orgasm. What brought me to this paroxysm of joy? Two events:

#1 – Local socialist Clayton Tucker was beaten like a rented mule in his City council race against Zac Morris. It was beautiful to behold. Poor Comrade Clayton had marched all around his neighborhood in the cold March and April weather knocking on doors. In the end, he was humiliated by 34 points. Thus was the “Baby Seal” moniker born.

I should have done a Netflix special about it – like Baby Reindeer. Which was awesome, by the way.

#2 – Local dipshit gets drunk, flies down Howe street at 114mph, launches his car into the air and lands on the roof of Jack Harrell’s house. I found this so amusing I have used it as the banner of this blog ever since.

From what I heard, as local dipshit lay on the ground bleeding profusely and his girlfriend was gravely injured he was mostly concerned about his car being wrecked: “oh man…my car!”

I picture Harrell running around in his underwear at 1:30 in the morning trying to put out fires in his driveway. My favorite quote?

“I thought I saw a flash through my eyelids”

I hear ya, pal! Me too!! It was orgasmic.

Cars launching onto roofs….flamboyantly gay adoption agency owners being shut down for who knows what (whatever happened to all that?)…crazy old German ladies taking shits on her employees on the front page of the newspaper…a dumb ass socialist who thinks he can run the economy but still lives with his mom…a quasi-retarded garden gnome who has blown over $50,000 on a small hobby garden…her idiot far-left daughter moving here from Austin to try and hide her Marxist past….a group of ding dongs wasting $7.4 million on an empty patch of goat pasture. We have it all!

God damn I love this town. Never a dull moment.

Marxist Scum At Columbia Take Over Building…Then Demand To Be Fed.

Unbelievable. Yeah, they are “just peaceful protestors”…

This lady, who refused to reveal her name, is named Johannah King-Slutzky. She is a paid instructor and PhD candidate at Columbia studying “theories of the imagination and poetry as interpreted through a Marxian lens

A hyphenated Jewish-sounding name. No, I’m not making this up.

A PhD in “theories of imagination and poetry through a Marxist lens” – and her idiot parents are paying $90,000 a year for this nonsense. Only the most arrogant, elitist assholes who can afford to waste $700,000 on tuition for 8 years go this route – then she’ll spend the rest of her life insisting everyone call her “doctor” while sponging off some poor sap beta male.

Her dad deserves to lose his balls for creating this abomination. What a colossal cvnt. Idiots like her should be deported to India or Saudi Arabia or North Korea to be gang raped for the rest of their lives. Get a whiff of REAL patriarchy. Spoiled twat.

Screw Joe Biden and All Who Voted For Him. Old Man Rant Coming…

While many brainless simps yammer about “greedy corporations” raising the price of everything out of pure avarice, the actual cause is clearly the unrelenting money printing and deficit spending we’ve seen the last 4 years.

When EVERY SINGLE THING you buy goes up 30% to 40%, that is not a secret, coordinated effort by every single company on earth to screw you. That is reckless policy. That is morons handing out money to millions of deadbeats and illegal aliens who produce nothing in return. That is too many currency units chasing the same amount of goods and services.

And to those who yammer that inflation is “coming down,” you couldn’t be more wrong. It’s re-accelerating.

Exmple:

I’ve been buying Zone bars for at least the last 15 years. Same flavor. Same everything. In November of 2019, I paid $25 for a box of 30 (6 boxes of 5 bars)…

Just a few days ago, I paid $24 for 12 of them! The per-bar cost jumped from 83 cents to $2.00 in 4.5 years. A 140% increase.

That translates into roughly 22% annual inflation.

Not only that, whereas you usually had a choice of about 16 flavors, there are only 4 available in stock right now.

Yeah, but keep telling me it’s “greedy corporations” you idiot liberals.