Clayton “Baby Seal” Tucker Taps Out. Will Not Run For City Council

I have to say, I’m a little disappointed. Our local socialist seal has apparently had enough clubbing for a while.

In the infamous words of Roberto Duran: “no mas!”

This is confusing to me, because just a few months ago, Tucker was talking tough about bringing his shitty, Marxist/commie nonsense to rural areas:

Correction: NOT a rancher

“We ain’t scared of no one!” No one except, of course, the hundreds of voters who would no doubt reject Comrade Clayton’s brand of bullshit for the fifth time in a row (Texas senate, Texas House 54, City council election last year PLUS his attempts to weasel onto City council by appointment AND his attempt to get onto the LEDC board recently).

After being clubbed those five times, it is no wonder his baby seal corpse will be lying motionless during this City council election.

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Clayton will be showing that “we are here and we are present” by hiding in his parents’ upstairs bedroom (where he still lives at age 31) for the duration of this City council election.

What a shame.

In more bad news, incumbent City councilman Chuck “The Vampire” Williamson will be running unopposed.

As you may recall, Chuck was stomped in his last election, but a stroke of Covid luck removed his victor (Gordon Nelson) from council and the woman who pulls his puppet strings just went ahead re-appointed him to council anyways – thus bringing him back from the dead yet again.

With nobody running against him, he will be free to sit next to TJ Monroe as her ventriloquist’s dummy for another two years. Brutal.

Final slate:

Office of Councilmember Place 3

  • Name: Chuck Williamson (incumbent) unopposed
  • Occupation: Retired
  • Date filed for re-election: January 19, 2022

Office of Councilmember Place 4

  • Name: Cathy Kuehne (incumbent)
  • Occupation: Teacher/Business Owner
  • Date filed for re-election: January 19, 2022
  • Name: Myles Haider
  • Occupation: Business Owner
  • Date filed: January 19, 2022

Office of Councilmember Place 5

  • Name: Bob Goodart (incumbent)
  • Occupation: Retired
  • Date filed for re-election: January 19, 2022
  • Name: Davis Keele
  • Occupation: Probation Officer
  • Date filed: February 18, 2022