Holy Jesus! Hanrahan’s Lesbian Wife Who Showed Her Tits In “Slap Shot” And Ralphie’s Mom In “Christmas Story” Are THE SAME PERSON!

How in the hell did I not realize this until age 55? I JUST noticed it today while watching A Christmas Story. These movies were only six years apart, too!

Those are two of my favorite movies. I’ve probably seen them both 100 times. I have a Chiefs jersey in my closet and a framed and autographed photo of the Hanson brothers. I dressed up as a Hanson brother more than a few times on Halloween back in the 90s – complete with foil on my knuckles.

Yes, you read that right. ALL THREE Hanson brothers signed the photo. It’s probably worth thousands of dollars by now.

If you’re a guy and you don’t like Slap Shot, you probably played tuba in the high school band or you still live with your mother at age 35.

“Hey Hanrahan! Suzanne sucks pussy! I know, I know!!”

Fucking awesome movie. Besides being hilarious with dozens of quotable lines (“Who own the Chiefs? OWNSSS OWNSSSS!“), there was judicious use of the word “faggot” and nobody got their panties in a bunch over it. The 70s and 80s were a glorious time. I feel sorry for anyone who wasn’t alive back then. You really missed out.

“I’m trying to listen to the fucking song!!”
  • Reggie Dunlop: And remember I went up to your room afterwards and you were dressed in chick’s clothes? Yeah, you had on this black bra with tassels! You were dancing in front of a mirror with this kinda zebra skin jockstrap.
  • McGrath: Bitch!
  • Reggie Dunlop: Remember how I screamed at you when you started coming on to me? And I just said ‘Jesus stop it Joe, I’m ashamed of you!’
  • McGrath: Goddamn you.
  • Reggie Dunlop: I wanted to tell you I forgot the whole thing. Years have passed, now I’m sexually liberated. I don’t care who’s a fag no more. I mean who cares? It’s natural, it’s all around us.
  • Reggie Dunlop: Who’s the owner Joe?

Socialist Grifter Clayton Tucker Running ANOTHER Grift.

Seems like just yesterday he was running the “we’re helping Texas flood victims” grift. Actually, it was FIVE MONTHS ago…

Of course, that quickly flopped when I pointed out that people would be WAY better off just donating directly to one of the many charities already doing this. No need to let this socialist grifter finger fuck all the money first before supposedly passing it on.

I also pointed out that donating to Clayton Tucker’s grift (through Act Blue) was NOT tax deductible, while the other charities were.

Well, he’s at it again! NOW, you can hand him money and he promises (pinky swear!) to then give your money to local food banks.

“We”? You mean the money you grifted from little old ladies to “fight monopolies,” right? Not really YOUR money. We know from history that YOU never donate a penny of your own funds AND that you lie about trying to donate to food causes:

Another School Official Confirms: Lampasas Democrat Party Never Tried To Make School Lunch Debt Donation. I Challenge Him To Action.

Why the fake farmer doesn’t just donate some “crops” from his phantom farm is a mystery to all of us.

Oh that’s right. He only grows “grass” on his “farm” – LMFAO!

If this socialist moron REALLY cared about feeding people, he would have loudly and publicly condemned the MASSIVE fraud that was perpetrated by Somali scumbags in Minnesota recently – resulting in BILLIONS stolen that should have fed the hungry kids….

But Clayton Tucker would NEVER speak ill of Minnesota OR Somali grifter scum. You know why? Because he LOVES that prancing gaylord Tim Walz, the retarded governor who allowed all this money to be stolen right from under his nose….

Clayton Tucker Is Ballz To The Walz

AND Clayton Tucker ALSO loves Minnesota Somali grifter politicians, as pictured here:

Low IQ Lampasas grifter pictured with low IQ Somali grifter scum.

Oh, and as an aside: nobody knows WHAT this grifting scumbag is doing with ANY of they money he collects, because he STILL has not filed a financial report. He is FIVE MONTHS into his “candidacy” and Transparencyusa.org STILL shows no disbursements to ANYONE. Not to Izzy the Baby Beluga. Not to flood victims. Not to the bumper sticker store. Not to a single gas station or hotel.

Nobody.

Seems odd.

Somebody With A Brain Must Have Pulled Clayton Tucker Aside And Explained He Is NOT A Rancher. He Just Pivoted To “Farmer” Full Time. Whoops!

Well, well, well.

Our local grifting goatwanker must have gotten a tap on the shoulder from either Jim Hightower or Ken Doll Scudder. Somebody with a little bit of brain must have realized FINALLY that it was going to be WAY TOO EASY to disprove that lie. In other words, that meanie Lampasshole was 100% right all along.

Not too long ago, he was RANCHER, RANCHER, RANCHER on all his social media. Twitter, Bluesky, and all the many others….

They must have told him that his “I’m a rancher” bullshit was going to be impossible to prove when it comes to qualifying as an Ag Commissioner Candidate.

So what can he do? Change it ALL to “FARMER”!!

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!

DANCE, you fucking monkey!!

Now, WHY would this dipshit take the time to go through ALL his social media and waste time making such an apparently small change?

Because he (or someone in the doomed campaign) finally realized that I’m 100% right and he would never survive a challenge to his qualifications. Thus this ham-handed pivot to another lie.

As a reminder – here are the qualifications, and Clayton Tucker meets NONE of them.

I laid it all out five months ago.

BREAKING NEWS: This Is The Post Where I End Clayton Tucker’s 72-Hour-Old Candidacy With Kill Shot.

Seeing as how the filing period ends in five days and I just sent a certified letter to Ken Doll Scudder demanding all of Comrade Clayton’s paperwork, this sure is suspicious timing for Clayton Tucker to switch his profession from “rancher” to “farmer.” Of course, he is NEITHER of those things, but I’m guessing he’s going with “farmer” so he can say he “grows grass” as proof. LOL.

Here is the letter Ken Doll Scudder will receive in a few days….

To: Mister Kendall Scudder

I am writing to request a copy of Clayton Tucker’s application for Agriculture Commissioner, his petition, and other paperwork including any and all supporting material proving he meets the requirements of the office he seeks.

Section 141.035 states that an application for a place on the ballot, including an accompanying petition, is public information immediately on its filing. 

To be eligible for the Texas Agriculture Commissioner position, a candidate must have been engaged in the business of agriculture for at least five of the 10 years prior to their initial term, or have worked for five years in a state or federal position related to agriculture, or have owned/operated qualifying farm or ranch land for at least five of the 10 years prior to their initial term and be participating in a federal farm program in the year of their election. The qualifications are detailed in Section 11.005 of the Texas Agriculture Code.

It is my belief that Clayton Tucker fails to meet these basic requirements and is thus disqualified.  I believe this due to a multitude of social media posts by him over the past 6 years (which I have documented and saved), the fact that the “ranch business” was not registered as a corporation with the state of Texas until December 21st of 2023 (only two years ago), a lack of property ownership by Clayton Tucker and lack of W2s or any proof at all he has been “engaged in the business of agriculture” beyond some photo shoots with goats.

The IRS has very clear rules on the difference between a “hobby” and a “business.”  It is my opinion that Clayton’s feeble ranching/farming claims constitute a “hobby” and are nowhere near meeting the threshold for “business” – thus negating his candidacy. He has admitted MANY times publicly that he makes no money “ranching.”

In addition to Clayton Tucker’s petition and candidacy application,  I am requesting any and all documents submitted by Clayton Tucker to support his claims of “engaging in the business” of agriculture for at least five of the 10 years.  This includes any W2s, tax records, business records, employment records, property tax papers, or similar documents.

Thank you for your attention in this matter.  I look forward to a prompt response.

Oh, and the “rancher” STILL hasn’t sold that poor little pet cow he said was ready to go over two months ago.

What a complete and utter ignoramus. What a maroon.

“Farmer” Who Grows No Crops Complains That He Makes No Money.

Clayton Tucker is the comic in a piece of bubble gum. This moron grows ZERO crops, has spent the last 5 months driving all over the place (200 miles per day, by his own admission) then wonders why he doesn’t make any money “farming.”

It’s tough to “run a ranch” when you are never there, you bufty.

I’m just going to destroy his first example (turkey) and be done because I have shit to do today.

Comrade Clayton, the silver spoon pussy who was handed free land and equipment and STILL can’t make money “farming” or “ranching” wants me to believe that the turkey farmer gets 6 cents per pound for his turkey. He wants me to believe he hands over his 10 pound turkey and gets handed 60 cents in return.

This is such obvious bullshit, there are many ways to disprove it. First I’ll ask AI:

Whoops!

Now let’s try to buy a turkey direct from a farmer online with Google:

Whoops again! Looks like they are getting WAY more than 6 cents per pound!

Then there is just common sense. Unlike the fake rancher here, I actually HAVE raised turkeys out here on my place (and chickens, pigs, rabbits, game hens, etc) – and you know what ALL of those animals have in common?? They cost WAY MORE than 6 cents a pound to fatten up. Pigs usually eat about 6 pounds of feed for every pound of meat they put on. That adds up fast. For turkeys, it’s between 2 and 4 pounds (20 to 40 pounds of feed for a 10-pound bird).

If a dumb ass turkey farmer is selling his entire bird for 60 cents (10 pounds times 6 cents per pound) he is going to go out of business in about 2 weeks, because the cost of feed ALONE is way more than 60 cents. Then add in all the other costs (housing, watering systems, clearing out the mountains of turkey shit, etc) and you see this 6 cents number is utter nonsense.

You unbridled moron.

Oh, and somebody asked the fake farmer what “crops” he actually grows when he was whining about not making any money….

Whoa! He grows grass!! THAT is his “crop” LOL.

Hey, I just realized I grow grass out here at my place too. About 30 acres of it. Guess I’m also a farmer. Now I can bitch and whine about all the monopolies and how I can’t make a living selling my grass “crop.”

I better call my Dad down in Florida and inform him HE’S a fucking farmer too since HE has grass all over HIS yard as well! Now we can ALL whine like bitches about ‘monopolies’!!!

Ask FDR: Plastic Edition

Time for another “Ask a Fake Dummy Rancher”

Dear Fake Dummy Rancher,

You have babbled a lot lately about “removing plastic from your mom’s house” but your actions belie your empty words. For instance, your plastic bucket here instead of a metal one. Or your plastic temporary fencing that you claim to “mend” all the time….

Plastic bucket instead of metal.
MORE plastic!!

Fake Dummy Rancher responds:

“I’m not familiar with the word ‘belie.’ I’m just a fake dummy rancher who lives with his mother at age 35.”

Socialist Jive Turkey Does Fake Photo Op.

“It ain’t cool being no jive turkey, so close to Thanksgiving” – huge black dude in jail with Eddie Murphy in Trading Places.

Socialist goatwanker and fake rancher Clayton Tucker is not aware of this rule because (1) Trading Places came out eight years before Comrade Clayton was hatched from his rotten egg and (2) Comrade Clayton (like all socialists) has no sense of humor and probably only watches the Oxygen Channel.

Here he is being a humongous jive turkey this week:

Hey! ANOTHER plastic bag!! I thought he declared war on plastic. Oh wait, that was last week. That’s already forgotten like his demand we end all fossil fuels by 2030.

But look how busy he is! He did FIVE EVENTS in one day!!!

Getting photos with every dumb twat in Congress!

“Helping with a turkey drive” – LOL. Hey asswipe, when you do FIVE EVENTS in one day, that means you ran around to each thing and spent about 20 minutes getting a photo and then you go driving off to the next thing for more photo ops.

You didn’t “help with a turkey drive,” you utter cunt. You took a photo holding a PLASTIC bag with a turkey in it and then left. I’m actually shocked your atrophied noodle arm could hold that 15-pounder up for the photo.

Since you supposedly run/own a ranch/farm and all, I’m wondering how much food/beef you donated to the local mission in Lampasas this week. You know, the one that is about a mile from your mom’s house where you live. Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve been donating my home-raised eggs there for the last 12 years, and oddly I have NEVER seen you there dropping off any donations! I’ve never heard Billy or the other workers there even mention you! Very weird.

But yeah, holding a turkey for a photo is really helping the cause.

What a complete ass hat.

Here is a photo that would have been more fitting a month ago for Halloween. Al Green looks like a German Shepherd’s shaved asshole.

Neither one of these clowns has ever had a real job in the private sector. Amazing!!

Al Green just might be the ugliest fuck on the planet. He’s certainly one of the dumbest. My over/under for combined IQ here is going to be about 155.

Unemployed Bum And Fake Rancher Is Actually Bragging About Spinning His Wheels For 30,000 Miles In Last Five Months.

Christ. Talk about a complete and utter waste of time. He has actually quantified his wheel spinning. Literally.

Mister “I Hate Plastic!” has hundreds of unsold vinyl bumper stickers destined for the landfill. LOL.

Let’s see how the math works out.

I don’t believe that 30,000 number for one second, but let’s assume it’s true for a moment. He announced his doomed candidacy back in mid June, I believe. So we’re talking five months now or about 150 days.

That’s 200 miles a day of driving. Every single day, if you never, ever take a day off, which he most certainly does. And for what?? To drive to places like Ector County where Trump won 76% of the vote? To stand in front of 12 old farts and spew falsehoods about “monopolies” ruining everyone’s lives? Jesus.

If you’re willing to drive 200 miles every single day of your life for NOTHING then you should CERTAINLY be willing to drive 150 miles for 5 days a week – which is what you could do if you found a real job in Austin and commuted every day back and forth from your parent’s house where you live.

But that would mean actual WORK and not cruising around in the wind-up Seal Mobile Toy Truck telling falsehoods about how the world works. You’d have to actually spend all day doing your job instead of posting photo ops and pretending to be a big shot. LOL.

Very, very sad. I’ll be sure to repost this when your candidacy crashes and burns next year. You utter moron.

Fake Rancher Clayton Tucker Thinks He “Bailed” Hay. Oh My Goodness.

When you are a fake rancher (or fake cowboy, or fake farmer) you make a lot of stupid little errors that a REAL rancher would catch in a second. Dummy urban shitlibs from Austin and Houston wouldn’t catch it, but most other people would.

I’m a pretty experienced SCUBA diver and when I hear some idiot on the dive boat talk about their “goggles” instead of their mask, I know they are a novice immediately, no matter how hard they try to hide it. Same goes for gun enthusiasts when they hear someone go into the store and ask for a box of bullets.

I’m not even a rancher, and I caught it. Take a look at the FRONT PAGE of fake rancher Clayton Tucker’s campaign website “Meet Clayton” section….

“I’m a wancher, mommy!”

Whoops.

Here is a moron who has been telling us he’s a “rancher” since he could wear his own boots, and he doesn’t realize that hay is put into BALES, so therefore, he is BALING hay. He’s not BAILING hay.

Yes, yes. Let’s put a kid in charge of a billion-dollar department and the agricultural economy of the largest state in the contiguous U.S. who doesn’t even know that it’s BALING hay and not BAILING hay. Sounds like a great idea. He’s DEFINITELY qualified, don’t you think?? This is EXACTLY why there are qualifications for this office in the first place. It’s too important to let a socialist moron in there to fuck everything up.

What an absolute retard boy.

The most hilarious thing about that photo is that here we are, THIRTY YEARS LATER and Clayton Tucker is STILL wearing a rancher costume and STILL living with his mother – just like the photo! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You know what the BEST PART of all this is, dear reader? Clayton Tucker will now dance like a monkey for me. He is going to have to go in there and CHANGE that word so he doesn’t look like a fucking amateur in front of the whole world. He has no choice. The minute he reads this, he will race to change his website. Luckily, I have this screenshot that will last forever.

So I command you to go do it, Clayton. Go in there and DANCE MONKEY!!! Go change that word so it’s spelled right, you idiot monkey-boy. Dance!!!

(Don’t try to tell us this is typo, either. A typo would be “baking” hay because the K is close to the L on the keyboard. No, you misspelled it because you are a fraud and didn’t think immediately of a BALE of hay. You used the far more common BAIL that a city slicker would use. You total clown shoe.)

Smooth-Brained Socialist Sperg Now Petrified Of Plastic. Will “Fight” To Get Rid Of It.

Well, your first huge lie is the “my home” part of that entire false statement. You don’t own a home. Your mom does, and you live upstairs.

As usual, Lady Clayton is about 5 years late to a “problem” that tens of thousands of much smarter guys already know about and are presumably working to improve. But Lady Clayton is SO ARROGANT that she thinks the ONLY person who can solve this problem is HER! Oh, and she has to be in some sort of government position to do it. LOL.

Yes, the 35-year-old fuckup who can’t find a job or an apartment is going to “get plastics out of our food system” – LOL! No word on how exactly he’s going to do this. I guess we’ll wrap everything in palm fronds and sell it that way?

Here is Lady Clayton not too long ago handing out chemically-laden shitflakes called “Froot Loops” to the local food bank. Notice he didn’t give them any “crops” from his fake “farm” or beef from his fake ranch. No, he gave them the shittiest, garbage filled cereal they make. Froot Loops.

Oh, and he did it with a WHOLE BUNCH of plastic bags!! LOL. Fucking MORON!

Doesn’t this clown know that the FIRST THING you do when you become a hippie, dippy tree hugger is get some REUSABLE HEMP BAGS to do your shopping with? Jesus Christ. He even sucks at FAKING everything. He’s terrible at everything in life – including lying and pretending to be what he’s not (cowboy, farmer, rancher, environmentalist, mechanic, water expert, energy expert, etc).

Lady Clayton is like a stupid, rich liberal housewife who thinks that banning plastic bags and straws and ruining life for the rest of us is going to save a couple sea turtles or something.

It’s not.

You know why? Because the disgusting pigs in India and China (over half the world’s population) literally dump truckloads of garbage into the ocean non-stop.

Oh, and you know what else?? Just HOURS after whining about all the plastic in the world, Clayton Tucker posted THIS:

This is hysterical for two reasons.

#1 – almost the minute he posted it, Trump flip-flopped on Epstein and this whole thing is moot since they are now being released. Late to the party AGAIN, Comrade! Of course, Joe Biden and the Dems had four years to “release the files” and didn’t. It took the GOP and Massey to get it done.

#2 – these bumper stickers (and the thousands of other bumper stickers he has had printed for his campaign) are made of….wait for it…VINYL. Which is plastic. You stupid asshole! All those hundreds of bumper stickers are going to be scraped off in shame in a few months and thrown into a landfill.

Classic commie Clayton move: whining about a “problem” that is already over with and then doing it with plastic bumper stickers, which he spent the day before crying out of his asshole about. BAHAHAHAHA. They don’t come any dumber than Clayton Tucker.

I can think of a lot of plastic that is definitely STILL laying around Clayton’s mom’s house – like the plastic garbage bins out front, the plastic bags you put the garbage in and the Bernie Sanders butt plugs Clayton shoves up his ass every night.

TikTok Zombie Brain Rot Confirmed By Major Study.

Oh, so it’s NOT an epidemic of “ADHD,” it’s a bunch of kids glued to TikTok and other 30-second garbage?? No way. Color me shocked!

A bombshell Griffith University study has validated a long suspected reality: short-form videos (SFVs) like TikToks and Instagram Reels are frying brains, slashing attention spans, and crippling cognitive endurance.

Such content is turning a generation into scatterbrained zombies unable to tackle real-world complexities amid algorithmic dopamine traps.

The meta-analysis, reviewing 71 studies and data from 98,299 participants, uncovered a “consistent pattern” of harm from heavy SFV consumption. 

There were 71 studies, over 98k people: The more short-form videos teens and adults watched, the more they struggled with attention, self-control, and stress and anxiety.

Researchers concluded: “Overall, this meta-analysis revealed a consistent pattern linking higher SFV use with poorer cognitive performance, particularly in attentional control and inhibitory processes.” 

They warn: “These associations may reflect cognitive strain or emerging disruptions in cognitive endurance and attentional regulation among heavier SFV users.”

“Given the central role of attention and executive functioning in academic, occupational, and daily goal-directed tasks, these patterns may indicate broader difficulties in sustaining mental effort over time,” the study further notes.

The study pinpoints risks for deep thinking: “Tasks requiring prolonged concentration (e.g., reading comprehension, complex problem solving) may be more difficult to sustain, especially as SFV platforms reinforce brief, high-reward interactions through rapid feedback and algorithmic content delivery.”

The study confirms that social media obsession is self-sabotage, breeding a dumber electorate hooked on snippets over substance—paving the way for real discourse to reclaim focus and rebuild what algorithms have wrecked.