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https://www.comradeclayton.com
The New Clayton Tucker Site is LIVE!!
Tag: fake rancher
Is Fake Rancher Now Sporting A Fake Injury?
What happens when a fake rancher does fake work for years and years? Eventually, he gets a fake injury, apparently!
Less than 24 hours earlier, Comrade Clayton’s soft, delicate hands were uninjured…
Why do I say “delicate and soft as baby shit”? Here’s how they looked on the day he signed his candidacy papers:
Not a scratch, scrape, ant bite, cut or callous to be found. Not even a speck of dirt under a fingernail.
Obviously not the hands of a “farmer.” Those are the hands of a fake rancher or fake grass farmer who spends all his time driving a hybrid wind-up toy truck around Texas and using grifted donations to pay for his semen-frothed mochaccinos at the Starbucks drive-thru!
So the question is: what is the injury, how did he do it, and who wrapped that hand?
It’s VERY shocking that Comrade Clayton hasn’t already made a breathless social media post about how it happened. After all, he’s like a teen girl and posts EVERY time he “gets hurt” on the fake ranch.
I know he didn’t do it trying to have sex with his farm animals, because he has been away from the “ranch” nonstop for the entire week.
The very gayest injury that might explain that ridiculous bandage is a “sprained wrist” which is the most effeminate injury I can think of. So that’s probably what it is. I’m guessing Mercer gets them too. It’s the limp wrist thing…
A deep cut that requires that level of wrapping? I’m guessing he’d freak out at that one and go to the ER – which would have resulted in multiple social media posts. He would have made it a “teaching moment” about how terrible the U.S. health industry is and how we need to be more like Canada – but he didn’t, so that’s out. Besides, how the hell would he cut the palm of his hand? Not like he was cooking a meal or butchering a rabbit.
Perhaps he hurt it in a game of Gay Chicken.
No, I’m guessing the “injury” was some tiny bit of pain that most of us would ignore but for which Comrade Clayton had Izzy the Baby Beluga go run to the store and grab an ACE bandage for him. That’s it. Then he’ll tell the dumb old ladies he hurt himself BAILING hay. LOL.
What a fucking maroon.
Commie Goatwanker Admits His Entire “Ranch” Is Fakery Created For Lib Dummies.
While I was on break, we were treated to this hilarious chain of retardation…
He even calls it a “set”!! Yet another Freudian slip by the vainglorious little turd. What is a “set” in movie parlance?
“It is a temporary, constructed environment that creates the setting for the story.”
Sounds about right.
Back around 1979, a young actor named Mark Hamil stood on a “set” in a Hollywood soundstage filled with fog machines, fake logs, rocks and swamp water. It also contained a small rubbery puppet controlled by Frank Oz which Mark Hamil talked to and called Yoda. It was all total fakery, of course. Complete and utter bullshit made to trick the minds of ten-year-old sci-fi nerds like myself. To us, it was the swamp planet “Dagobah” and was entirely convincing.
It also apparently works on shitlibs who support Clayton Tucker, because they ALSO have the brains of a 10-year-old and are fooled into thinking he’s a “rancher” when he is not. All thanks to the carefully crafted bullshit he posts.
See that big shiny tractor behind the communist knob-head? That’s called a “prop.” It is used for photos and video clips and then put back into the barn until the next “photo shoot.”
Just like his tiny, faggy hybrid truck that can’t actually do any real ranch work. He just drives it all over Texas pretending to be a “rancher.” When he needed to actually move more than 100 pounds of shit, he had to borrow Dad’s REAL flatbed truck, as you can see in the photos below….
The above is Dad’s REAL truck.
Below, is Comrade Clayton’s fake hybrid wind-up truck, which cannot tow or carry shit. It is a “prop” for shitlib morons….
Hilarious!
Five days ago was the first chance Comrade Clayton had to OFFICIALLY file to run for Ag Commissioner. He hasn’t said a word about doing so. I believe the filing period runs until December 5th. I’ll be contacting the Secretary of State and Board of Elections to get my hands on Comrade Clayton’s filing papers.
I’m VERY curious to see how he plans on lying about his credentials in order to qualify for this position. As far as I can see, he does NOT meet the requirements for candidacy.
If necessary, I will sue his ass to keep him off the ballot. Better get ready to spend some of that grifted money on lawyers, you lying scumworm.
Clayton Tucker Turns The “Fake Rancher” Routine Up To 11.
Watch out! Unqualified and ineligible Ag Commissioner candidate Clayton Tucker is angry, ya’ll! He’s using many curse words and said “ain’t” at LEAST three times in his latest video.
Ummm, the Big Beautiful Bill is a FEDERAL bill. It’s in Washington DC. It is voted on by U.S. Reps and Senators. You are running for STATE office. So why are you even blathering about this at all? Shouldn’t you be talking aimlessly about Texas shrimp labeling or something?
Listening to him try so hard to be a good-old-boy is the ultimate cringe. It’s like when Hillary and Kamala put on those ridiculous fake accents for whatever crowd they happen to be pandering to.
He tried pulling this “ain’t ain’t ain’t” stuff a few years ago. It was sad then too.
Pasty-white Clayton (who was was born in Georgetown to upper-middle-class parents, whose dad made a great living on government contracts as an aerospace engineer and who was handed a free $80,000 college education in political science before he became a Marxist “community organizer”) wants you to believe he is just a good-old, shit-kickin’, calf-ropin’, steer-wrestlin’, toilet-seat-in-the-back-yard having cowboy, ya’ll!
Truth is, he only invented the rancher persona a couple years ago.
Truth is, RX Ranch has only been in existence for 18 months.
Truth is, his “ranch” (which is listed as existing at 1810 CR 2001) ACTUALLY is his grandpa’s land. Clayton just goes there to take pictures with any goats that happen to still be alive that day.
Truth is, he has not done ONE THING he said he was going to do on the “ranch website” – not a petting zoo, not goat yoga and not “animal-assisted therapy sessions” lol.
These “services” have been listed as “coming soon!” for a year now.
NOR does he sell a single ounce of beef or farm products. He has ONE animal listed as for sale this coming September (if it lives that long).
He also speaks fondly of his “two mini goats” and how he’ll be using them in a petting zoo. Both died long ago. Oops.
Not much of a “ranch” when you get right down to it. More like a failed hobby. I’d even make a wager that he has made MORE money by grifting on his recent “donations” page in the last 3 weeks than he EVER made as a “rancher.”
How about it, Comrade? Want to take that bet?
About That “Water Researcher” Title…
Well, well, well. The Clayton Tucker lies and exaggerations certainly go back a LOOOONG ways, don’t they? All the way back to around June and July of 2012, as it turns out!
I always knew the “water researcher” bullshit on his resume was complete and utter nonsense. He was a junior in college at the time, and the entire “program” lasted approximately 41 days – of which one week was spent “training” in Pittsburgh. Not exactly enough time to have the slightest clue about any subject – especially when everyone over there speaks Chinese.
It certainly sounds like there was no hard science in young Clayton’s college career. Just a bunch of political “science,” which isn’t science at all. You can read the article here:
You don’t want to miss the awesome photo either!
Here’s my favorite part, where it basically admits this was all some “political science” bullshit and had absolutely nothing to do with any REAL research. Oh, and it was all in China.
In addition to the Chinese classes he has taken at Southwestern, Tucker said two other classes helped prepare him for the program. One was theTexas Politics Internship Program taught by Political Science Professor Tim O’Neill and the other was the Japanese Politics class taught by Political Science Professor Alisa Gaunder. Tucker said the Texas Politics class covered a lot about environmental policies in Texas…
The program began with a week of training at the University of Pittsburgh, and then participants headed to China June 20.
Tucker was assigned to apolitical science research team that included a political science professor from the University of Pittsburghand three other students − one from Middlebury, one from the University of Kansas, and one from Cornell. The team spent two weeks in villages along the Yellow River Corridor conducting research on the relationships between local economic development, overdependence on coal mining, the central government, and China’s water supply. Several Chinese students helped the team with conducting interviews, and finding and translating documents.
Wow. Sounds like hard-hitting research! A REAL LIVE political “science” professor was there to guide your research! Impressive. Now I see where his complete lack of anything grounded in facts, mathematics or hard science comes from. He never touched on any of that stuff in college. It was ALL political bullshit from day one.
Oh, also – Alisa Gaunder was educated at Berkeley, in case you are wondering where Comrade Clayton got his communist streak from.
I remember when I was in college, the three big joke majors were (1) political science (2) communications and (3) psychology. This was in 1988, before they had invented the current 27 joke majors like gender studies and all of that crap.
We did get another nice nugget from this article (and another):
Tucker said participating in the program has reinforced his interest in Chinese international relations and Taiwan issues.He hopes it will prove to be a good stepping stone to further studies in graduate school.
After graduating from Southwestern,Tucker hopes to attend graduate schoolin either Taiwan or China to study Mandarin.
Ah! Graduate school! Now THAT is something I definitely would have expected. The boy who wants to be a professional student forever, becoming more and more book learned in total bullshit subjects and getting letters after his name so he can labor under the delusion he’s super duper smart – and never having to get his hands dirty doing any real work.
[Sounds like someone else we know! “Doctor” Ryan Mata!]
I wonder what happened to that dream? Did good old Dad put his foot down on ANOTHER $80,000 in tuition wasted just to pad Clayton’s resume? Was he not smart enough to get in?
Whatever the reason, it is VERY clear that all this “fifth-generation” rancher bullshit was nowhere on the radar up until about four years ago when he realized he needed to put SOMETHING on the resume when he ran for office!
Here’s another blurb about his dreams a few years later…with no mention of ranching yet again!
Once a liar, always a liar. He’d be a great politician – if he could just get elected!!
Clayton Tucker Now A Fake Lobbyist As Well!
Comrade Clayton sure does wear a lot of fake hats! First it was cowboy, then farmer and now rancher. But he added another fake feather to his cap: fake lobbyist!
This is from his annual postcard bragging about all the stuff he didn’t really do, like “protect folks from bad international trade deals,” as if he was some international envoy and the Biden administration was consulting him and using his vast knowledge of international business – which is possibly the most preposterous bullshit ever to come out of his mouth, considering he’s actually a 34-year-old under-employed loser who lives with his mom in Lampasas.
But even more alarming is his declaration that he “lobbied to pass new laws” to help family farmers and ranchers. Why is this alarming? Because if he ACTUALLY DID lobby anyone at the state or federal level (he doesn’t say which), then he is in big trouble. That’s because lobbyists are REQUIRED to register themselves as a lobbyist!
Unfortunately, there is no record anywhere I could find of Clayton Tucker being registered as a lobbyist!
Ruh roh! According to Google:
The punishment for lobbying politicians without registering as a lobbyist can include significant civil fines, potentially reaching up to $200,000, depending on the jurisdiction and severity of the violation, and in extreme cases, could even involve criminal penalties like imprisonment….
So which is it, Comrade?? Do you admit you lied AGAIN about being something you are not (cowboy, farmer, water researcher, energy expert, ranch founder, lobbyist)? Or do you stick to your guns and get in big trouble for lobbying politicians without registering?
Tough call.
Just kidding, we all know you didn’t lobby shit. Just another of the many, many lies that the communist spews as easily as drawing a breath.
Ground Brisket Hamburgers – Sounds Delish!
Damn! Innovation, marketing, hustle and a real website offering actual products combine to move beef products. Sounds awesome!!
In the other corner we have: fake grifter hobby rancher who puts hats on his goats for pictures. Crap website with non-existent fantasies like goat yoga. Spends his time begging for followers for his Substack, which is a giant mish-mash of shitty writing and retarded ideas….
Not the first time begging for followers, either. This is a 34-year-old “male” doing this, btw…..
They are not the same. I absolutely cannot WAIT for Comrade Clayton to run for office again. It’s going to be a barrel of monkeys!!
I AM curious though: what happens at 500 fake, non-paying followers? Pat on the head from mom? A shiny new penny from Dad? The mind boggles.
Socialist Goatwanker Clayton Tucker Admits He Employs Zero People. Yet Demands Other Businesses Pay $17/hr To New Hires.
As we begin a new year and our local socialist approaches his 34th birthday while still living at home with his mother, let’s all have yet another belly-laugh at his incredible hypocrisy:
Of course, Clayton’s hero Bernie Sanders has NEVER worked in the private sector himself, let alone employed a single person as a business owner…and he is now 83 years old. Incredible. Eighty-three years of sponging off the taxpayer and NEVER had a real job!!
Clayton is trying hard to follow in Bernie’s footsteps. He too, has never employed anyone at ANY wage, let alone $17/hr….
This is a lie, of course. It has nothing to do with “willingness” to pay a helper. It has to do with there not being enough work out there on grandpa’s pretend ranch to keep another person busy. Also, I doubt mom will pay for another person out there when Clayton has so much free time on his hands that he is able to go to 27 conventions and democrat pow-wows per year!
I can see it now:
“Mom! You need to hire someone else to help me take pictures of goats out there at grandpa’s property!”
“Now Clay Clay…I’ve told you a dozen times you need to spend less time going to conventions filled with men dressed like whores and MORE time actually raising some animals instead of killing so many, dear!”
Also, Clayton owns a shitload of Apple products (phone, computer, ear buds) and thus supports Apple – a company that only pays their Chinese sweatshop slaves $1.39 per hour.
I’m sure when the RX Ranch Goat Yoga starts, Clayton will hire a Goat Yoga Instructor for $17 per hour plus benefits, right douchebag??
Sunday Humor
When fake rancher Clayton Tucker goes to some Farmer’s Union thing or ranching convention and talks to REAL ranchers…..
Socialist Deadbeat Who Lives With Mom Wants You To Believe He Comes From “Backbreaking Poverty” and Grandparents Who “Picked Cotton and Shot Squirrels To Survive”
The pathological liar is back at it again!
Mouse-jiggling moron Clayton Tucker FINALLY posted on his Substack – something he hasn’t bothered with in about nine months. This was worth the wait, because it is filled with even more preposterous stories of his humble beginnings.
Previously he just lied about being a “fifth-generation rancher,” a cowboy, a farmer etc. In fact, he STILL doesn’t know if his family owns a ranch or a farm!
Despite the fact they “have always been a cattle family”…
So confusing!
He also mentions Sid Miller AGAIN. Which makes me 99.5% sure he is going to run for Ag Commissioner in 2025. I cannot wait!
But all of the above bullshit pales in comparison to his latest ridiculous whopper of a lie!
Yeah, those cotton-pickin, squirrel-shootin Tuckers! I heard it was great-grandfather Jed Clampett Tucker who began the whole ranching business! You know, the “RX Ranch” ranching business that was founded five generations ago by Clayton himself but which didn’t even have an official name until last December. LOL!!
Now which grandfather was that? The grandfather you said was a pharmacist, so you called it “RX”? Or the OTHER grandfather who was in the military his entire life and whose obituary makes ZERO mention of any ranching – let alone cotton picking or scraping a living off the squirrel population??
What a shame. Grandpa Howard A. Tucker sounds like a decorated war hero and was a registered Republican. But his idiot grandson Clayton is busy trying to import communism into the very country his grandfather fought to keep it out of. What a total asshole.
Or is the “cotton picker” maybe your grandma you claimed came over here from England? Gwen? You know, the one you claimed it took 26 years for her to get her citizenship? Pretty sure there isn’t a lot of cotton picking going on in the English countryside.
Or is it the OTHER grandpa? Grandpa Bob who actually owns the property. I’m not sure how HE is the one who grew up in abject poverty since you said he was a pharmacist his entire life – thus the “RX” name, you utter clown.
Maybe you’re talking about GREAT grandpa Ollie Prentice Tucker? Ummm…that doesn’t work either! Looks like HE was a career Navy man as well – who died pretty young at age 58. Here he is in his uniform:
[In fact, more than a few Tuckers dangling from the branches of your family tree dropped dead at a fairly young age. Something to think about as you keep injecting yourself with Covid “vaccines” every year!]
Could you have meant his wife, great-grandma Elizabeth? Mmmmm….no. Looks like she was a switchboard operator! Pretty high-tech shit for the early 1900s. I doubt she had time to pick the cotton or shoot any squirrels after finishing her non-physically-taxing, white-collar job for the day.
No Clayton, I’m afraid the ridiculous story of your poverty-stricken, sharecropping origins just doesn’t hold water at all. Yet another fabrication in preparation of you getting your ass kicked when you run for Ag Commissioner.
If you’re going back to the 1700s or 1800s to find a relative to make this “rough times” claim then I have news for you: EVERYONE was a fucking farmer 300 years ago, you clown. EVERYONE pretty much grew their own food back then and broke their back with manual labor. That’s how life was – the Tuckers weren’t special.
Here are the REAL facts: you are the only child of Terry Tucker (who had a cushy government job with the Railroad Commission of Texas) and Howard C. Tucker – who by his own admission on Facebook made a comfortable living in the aerospace industry! In fact, Comrade Clayton has sported a “Firefly” t-shirt once or twice – which is likely who his dad worked for at some point. And you know those giant “big, greedy” aerospace companies: always feasting on fat government contracts and selling $600 hammers to NASA! Yet Comrade Clayton NEVER mentions them in his ranting about greedy CEOs, does he?
[It also maybe explains why you want to spend “MUCH more” money on NASA and not on a “racist” border wall! Daddy works in aerospace and HE’S the one who buys brand new shiny tractors for Comrade Clayton to play on for social media!]
You were the only child of TWO comfortably-employed parents – both of whom owe their paychecks to the taxpayer. They then paid around $80,000 for you to go to Southwestern University and collect a useless major in International Relations and THEN paid for you to go galivant around Asia with a fancy camera and pretend to be a kindergarten teacher for 9 whole months!
They have allowed you to live in their house EVEN TODAY as you approach your 34th birthday.
Right up to the moment you decided to run for office, you were just another baseball-cap wearing, tuba-playing, incel dork who lived with mom and believed in Bernie Sanders. You only invented all this “rancher” shit when you decided to try and glom onto a government position for a living.
Grandpa Bob Wright is the one who owns the land – perhaps purchased with his pharmacy wages, lol. You just go over there and play make-believe rancher a couple times a week and take photos for old ladies on Facebook.
In short, you’ve been handed every opportunity by doting parents as an only child. And you STILL can’t support yourself in the real world! Grandpa Howard must be spinning in his grave.
Far from being the rancher you claim to be, you actually spend your time traipsing around to ridiculous conventions and rallies or working for free on the campaigns of losers like Julie Oliver, Chris Perri and Robert O’Rourke.
If you’re the product of cotton-pickin, squirrel-shootin’ hardscrabble farmers and ranchers then I’m the fucking queen of England.
Lying douchebag.
RELATED: The Definitive Timeline Of a Ranching Fraud (3 part series)