Comrade Clayton sure does wear a lot of fake hats! First it was cowboy, then farmer and now rancher. But he added another fake feather to his cap: fake lobbyist!
This is from his annual postcard bragging about all the stuff he didn’t really do, like “protect folks from bad international trade deals,” as if he was some international envoy and the Biden administration was consulting him and using his vast knowledge of international business – which is possibly the most preposterous bullshit ever to come out of his mouth, considering he’s actually a 34-year-old under-employed loser who lives with his mom in Lampasas.
But even more alarming is his declaration that he “lobbied to pass new laws” to help family farmers and ranchers. Why is this alarming? Because if he ACTUALLY DID lobby anyone at the state or federal level (he doesn’t say which), then he is in big trouble. That’s because lobbyists are REQUIRED to register themselves as a lobbyist!
Unfortunately, there is no record anywhere I could find of Clayton Tucker being registered as a lobbyist!
The punishment for lobbying politicians without registering as a lobbyist can include significant civil fines, potentially reaching up to $200,000, depending on the jurisdiction and severity of the violation, and in extreme cases, could even involve criminal penalties like imprisonment….
So which is it, Comrade?? Do you admit you lied AGAIN about being something you are not (cowboy, farmer, water researcher, energy expert, ranch founder, lobbyist)? Or do you stick to your guns and get in big trouble for lobbying politicians without registering?
Damn! Innovation, marketing, hustle and a real website offering actual products combine to move beef products. Sounds awesome!!
In the other corner we have: fake grifter hobby rancher who puts hats on his goats for pictures. Crap website with non-existent fantasies like goat yoga. Spends his time begging for followers for his Substack, which is a giant mish-mash of shitty writing and retarded ideas….
As we begin a new year and our local socialist approaches his 34th birthday while still living at home with his mother, let’s all have yet another belly-laugh at his incredible hypocrisy:
Nobody actually advertises for $7.25/hr jobs, you fucking moron.
This is a lie, of course. It has nothing to do with “willingness” to pay a helper. It has to do with there not being enough work out there on grandpa’s pretend ranch to keep another person busy. Also, I doubt mom will pay for another person out there when Clayton has so much free time on his hands that he is able to go to 27 conventions and democrat pow-wows per year!
I can see it now:
“Mom! You need to hire someone else to help me take pictures of goats out there at grandpa’s property!”
Mouse-jiggling moron Clayton Tucker FINALLY posted on his Substack – something he hasn’t bothered with in about nine months. This was worth the wait, because it is filled with even more preposterous stories of his humble beginnings.
Previously he just lied about being a “fifth-generation rancher,” a cowboy, a farmer etc. In fact, he STILL doesn’t know if his family owns a ranch or a farm!
Despite the fact they “have always been a cattle family”…
So confusing!
He also mentions Sid Miller AGAIN. Which makes me 99.5% sure he is going to run for Ag Commissioner in 2025. I cannot wait!
But all of the above bullshit pales in comparison to his latest ridiculous whopper of a lie!
That entire paragraph makes no sense. It’s just commie blather and buzzwords.
Yeah, those cotton-pickin, squirrel-shootin Tuckers! I heard it was great-grandfather Jed Clampett Tucker who began the whole ranching business! You know, the “RX Ranch” ranching business that was founded five generations ago by Clayton himself but which didn’t even have an official name until last December. LOL!!
Now which grandfather was that? The grandfather you said was a pharmacist, so you called it “RX”? Or the OTHER grandfather who was in the military his entire life and whose obituary makes ZERO mention of any ranching – let alone cotton picking or scraping a living off the squirrel population??
What a shame. Grandpa Howard A. Tucker sounds like a decorated war hero and was a registered Republican. But his idiot grandson Clayton is busy trying to import communism into the very country his grandfather fought to keep it out of. What a total asshole.
Or is it the OTHER grandpa? Grandpa Bob who actually owns the property. I’m not sure how HE is the one who grew up in abject poverty since you said he was a pharmacist his entire life – thus the “RX” name, you utter clown.
Maybe you’re talking about GREAT grandpa Ollie Prentice Tucker? Ummm…that doesn’t work either! Looks like HE was a career Navy man as well – who died pretty young at age 58. Here he is in his uniform:
Not a cowboy hat or pitchfork too be seen! He must have taken off his coonskin cap for this photo.
[In fact, more than a few Tuckers dangling from the branches of your family tree dropped dead at a fairly young age. Something to think about as you keep injecting yourself with Covid “vaccines” every year!]
Could you have meant his wife, great-grandma Elizabeth? Mmmmm….no. Looks like she was a switchboard operator! Pretty high-tech shit for the early 1900s. I doubt she had time to pick the cotton or shoot any squirrels after finishing her non-physically-taxing, white-collar job for the day.
No Clayton, I’m afraid the ridiculous story of your poverty-stricken, sharecropping origins just doesn’t hold water at all. Yet another fabrication in preparation of you getting your ass kicked when you run for Ag Commissioner.
If you’re going back to the 1700s or 1800s to find a relative to make this “rough times” claim then I have news for you: EVERYONE was a fucking farmer 300 years ago, you clown. EVERYONE pretty much grew their own food back then and broke their back with manual labor. That’s how life was – the Tuckers weren’t special.
Here are the REAL facts: you are the only child of Terry Tucker (who had a cushy government job with the Railroad Commission of Texas) and Howard C. Tucker – who by his own admission on Facebook made a comfortable living in the aerospace industry! In fact, Comrade Clayton has sported a “Firefly” t-shirt once or twice – which is likely who his dad worked for at some point. And you know those giant “big, greedy” aerospace companies: always feasting on fat government contracts and selling $600 hammers to NASA! Yet Comrade Clayton NEVER mentions them in his ranting about greedy CEOs, does he?
You were the only child of TWO comfortably-employed parents – both of whom owe their paychecks to the taxpayer. They then paid around $80,000 for you to go to Southwestern University and collect a useless major in International Relations and THEN paid for you to go galivant around Asia with a fancy camera and pretend to be a kindergarten teacher for 9 whole months!
Forgets he is a rancher AGAIN!!
They have allowed you to live in their house EVEN TODAY as you approach your 34th birthday.
Right up to the moment you decided to run for office, you were just another baseball-cap wearing, tuba-playing, incel dork who lived with mom and believed in Bernie Sanders. You only invented all this “rancher” shit when you decided to try and glom onto a government position for a living.
Grandpa Bob Wright is the one who owns the land – perhaps purchased with his pharmacy wages, lol. You just go over there and play make-believe rancher a couple times a week and take photos for old ladies on Facebook.
In short, you’ve been handed every opportunity by doting parents as an only child. And you STILL can’t support yourself in the real world! Grandpa Howard must be spinning in his grave.
From coyotes to VultureBuzzards (TM) to parasites, local fake rancher and serial goat killer Clayton Tucker is always finding new and inventive ways to end the lives of his poor goats.
Yesterday he went for straight-up negligence and was maybe also trying for “hit by a car.”
Of course, he would never ADMIT to straight-up negligence, so he blamed the well-known nefarious KIDnapping (get it??) cartels that everyone knows operate in our area….
Dummy socialist loses goats after only 10 days.
[Yes – the clown who demands that healthcare be “free” and college be “free” has the temerity to call them HIS goats. Perhaps there was a fellow socialist in the area and he wanted a “free” goat! Who are you to deny him that?? To each according to his need, right? Of course, Clayton Tucker the socialist does not like having HIS property taken. How ironic!]
Yes, by all means – let’s get the police involved. The same police that radical lefties like Clayton Tucker were screaming to defund just four short years ago! I’m sure they have nothing better to do than deal with your dwarf goats.
The dwarf goats are a new part of his “ranching” operation. His business model is:
#1 – take pictures with cute baby goats (or new dwarf goats)
#2 – Post on Facebook
#3 – let quasi-retarded lonely old liberal cat ladies comment on how cute they are with heart emojis and rainbows.
Unfortunately, there is no “collect money and profit” step to his model, which is why he still lives with mom.
Anyways, the goats were found running around loose by none other than our intrepid City IT person – Acevedo! I guess nobody stole them after all! Tucker was just engaging in the favorite pastime of Lampassholes everywhere by losing his pet and then asking Facebook if anyone has seen them.
Why did Comrade Clayton even have these goats in town anyways? Does he shuttle them between grandma’s ranch and mom’s house where he splits his time? Does he “chestfeed” them every few hours like Pete Buttigieg?
I love how Acevedo casually throws in that they were “skin and bones” and “crying constantly.” Zing! That’s a roundabout way of saying “are you abusing these poor goats, you moron?!?”
I wonder how long the panicked dummy socialist ran around his mom’s house and the library next door looking for these poor goats before he decided that they MUST have been stolen. LOL. No WAY this was his fault. He’s a “fifth-generation” rancher, don’t ya know??
Will somebody PLEASE stage an intervention with serial goat killer Clayton Tucker?? He reminds me of these women in dirt-poor, impoverished African countries who keep having babies only to watch them die of starvation at 9 months old. Then they do it over and over again – with the same result.
“How much of a sociopath do you need to be? That is the slow ritual torture-murder of children goats, one after another! At what point does cause-and-effect not kick in? How many bulb-headed skeletons have to go stiff in your arms?! … ‘what? this one’s not working… oh, well let’s try again’, one after another. At what point do you not go ‘I think this is bad’? … How many kids are you going to fuckin’ kill, lady Clayton? … If you impregnate someone under those conditions, they should abort the parents! That’s sick!”
My friends Amy and George at Winter’s Beef were working hard the last few days and weeks. They load up the coolers and trucks early and head to farmer’s markets which are hours away.
They have their website available for buying steaks and burgers. They remind you a week or two before any holiday weekend to stock up for your holiday parties and even give you great recipes for their steaks and burgers.
FAKE ranchers also talk a lot about a website, but then six months later…no website. Totally forgotten like the failed Substack project. Because it is MUCH easier to sit in mom’s upstairs bedroom in the air conditioning and cry about how unfair life is.
You see, the website project will NEVER get done. That’s because fake ranchers have no actual products to sell. How do you sell non-existent products on a website? You can’t.
I think I DID see Comrade Clayton at the park the other day though…..
I’ve probably read dozens of these articles over the last decade. I’m fascinated with that stuff. The economics of it. The many factors that go into being a successful rancher. You have to know a LOT about a lot of things: animals, soils, grass, business. Those guys are the backbone of America and Texas (along with the oil guys). A tough and thankless job, really.
In ALL those articles I’ve read where they talk to experts and others in the industry around this area, you know what I have never, ever seen? The name Clayton Tucker! For some reason, the Dispatch never calls up local socialist Comrade Clayton Tucker to ask him about the pulse of the cattle industry – even though he has claimed to be a fifth-generation rancher for many years now.
Let’s compare these two humans (I refuse to call Comrade Clayton a ‘man’)
Disclaimer: I have never met Mark Langford nor am I a relative or employee….these are all guesses plus what I could find on the Internet
First we have a REAL rancher….
Mark Langford, owner of Langford Ranch Enterprises: has been ranching for 40 years. Bachelor of science in Agricultural Economics. Is quoted in newspaper as an expert. He probably employs DOZENS of people. Does NOT have seven different social media platforms where he wastes hours taking pictures of and naming goats. Probably understands how to use the CME cattle futures market to manage price risk.
Probably married to a babe with awesome kids. Probably can wrestle a bear and drink five beers without getting a buzz. I doubt he ever wore a mask or got the “vaccine” when it came out. He doesn’t get sick.
Probably drives big-ass truck with 180,000 miles on it. Probably deer hunts in his spare time. Probably has hands like hams and an American flag on his sprawling property that HE owns, not mom. Probably friends with other local bad-asses like Rickie Roy and Van Berry. Would not be surprised if he has killed a number of coyotes with his bare hands.
Then we have…..
Comrade ClaytonTucker, ‘founder’ of RX Ranch: has only been ‘ranching’ since December 21, 2023. Has never employed anyone in his life. RX Ranch employs zero people. Is a pathological liar. Majored in “International Relations” at joke school in Georgetown. Is a moron who probably has never even HEARD of the cattle futures market nor able to understand price risk hedging.
Is more worried about having 1,000 followers on Instacrap than producing any beef for sale…
….drives girl car (Chevy Equinox).
Wants to ban rifles. Hands are likely soft as baby shit. Uses girl machine at gym. Lives with mom. Was petrified of Wuhan virus that was no threat to him and complained for two years that nobody was wearing a mask – even as he wore one in his car.
Forgets he is a rancher much of the time….
Rarely seen in the company of women. Carries a purse and has a fupa….
REAL ranchers do NOT have fupas.
Hangs out with scumbags who hate America and then puts a Ukraine flag on his mom’s house where he lives!
Did I mention “lives with mom”?
So, as you can see: it is no wonder that every single Dispatch article on REAL ranchers in Lampasas over the last decade has failed to mention, quote or contact Comrade Clayton or RX Ranch.
Welcome to the first Baby Seal Bashing of the new year! There will be another soon enough…
Local socialist vermin and open-borders champion Clayton Tucker was recently asked by a follower what the name of his ranch was and where she could go to buy some beef. You know, since they have “always been a cattle family,” according to him.
The “fifth-generation” “rancher” was forced to admit that there wasn’t really an official name except what his grandpa called it: RX Ranch. But they might change it. Or maybe not. Easy to do when it doesn’t officially exist on paper anywhere that I can find:
So the five-generation cattle ranch (that would be approximately 130 years) that supposedly has deep, deep roots in Lampasas doesn’t really have an official name, doesn’t have a website and has never sold an ounce of meat around here. Comrade Clayton, who graduated college over ten years ago with a useless degree in “International Relations” is just now getting around to the whole “selling some meat” thing.
Comrade Clayton KNOWS that his bags of processed shit are bad for you, because he was just crying about it a few weeks ago! But apparently that crap is good enough for the poorz as he is too greedy to give away any healthy beef from his “ranch” – either that or there IS no beef produced on the “ranch.”
You forgot the “Froot” Loops you bought once for the pantry
A search for RX Ranch in Lampasas yields one result: a YouTube video from 6.5 years ago posted by Howard Tucker – presumably Howard A. Tucker (grandpa who passed away in 2018) and not Howard C. Tucker, the presumed fourth generation of ranchers.
Hilariously, the supposed “4th-generation rancher” (Clayton’s dad) wasn’t really a rancher either – he “left Lampasas after high school to continue further education and went on in having a rewarding career working with several large aerospace companies,” according to his own personal bio on his Pontiac Plus Facebook page. Zero mentions of ranching. Whoops! Another Clayton lie exposed!
We’ll have more soon as we review Comrade Clayton’s 2023: Another Year Of Lies and Nonsense
But NOW he is a “rancher” and thus, he is supposedly mending a goat’s leg.
In the video, he has already “mended the leg” with a paint roller (or “paint roller thing” as he calls it) – which is a trick he just learned on YouTube. You’d think a “5th generation rancher” would have seen that trick a few dozen times by age 32 and not need YouTube, but Comrade Clayton is not the brightest bulb. After all, he thinks socialism is a viable economic system.
He first holds up a can of Blu-Kote and says “basically, I used some, uh, blue spray…blue note…it’s like a wound treatment…it’s good for livestock“
BAHAHAHAHA! “Blue Note” as he is literally holding up a can that clearly says Blu-Kote. I love it! I’m starting to think Clayton Tucker SDEC-24 TX is actually a parody account of a guy pretending to be a moron trying to be a rancher and failing. There is no other explanation. NOBODY is this stupid!
Also, Blu-Kote is for abrasions and is a germicide/fungicide. It does NOT heal fractured legs or legs with internal injuries. Clayton is puzzled by the injury, however. He says it could have been a bite or a kick or a headbutt.
Now, I’m no fake rancher like Clayton Tucker, but we have had dogs, cats, chickens, goats, rabbits and other creatures running around my not-a-ranch here where I’ve lived over the last 12 years. And I can definitely tell the difference between a bite and something else. A bite breaks the skin and Blu-Kote might be helpful. But if my animal is limping around with no abrasions or broken skin, then Blu-Kote is a total waste of time, as it treats stuff like blisters, sores and lesions…not an internal fracture.
Love the videos! Keep em coming, Comrade!!
P.S. – why would a “help the AMERICAN farmer! The AMERICAN farmer is in trouble” guy be wearing a hat promoting Yanmar tractors – a Japanese company?? Very odd indeed.
