Yet Another deGraffenreid Lie Exposed.

Wow. How many lies is this now?? I’ve lost count. Someday in the future I’ll have to dedicate a post to all of Spinley’s bullshit over the last year and a half. Today we’ll stick to just the Old City Hall rehab lie.

I have called out Elmo Finley more than a few times about repeatedly telling his favorite fairy-tale to the newspapers. The one where the Old City Hall rehab cost “‘only’ $1.02 million (plus a $125,000 elevator)” [see: Dispatch 11/1/19, page 11, column 2]

(Actually, the elevator was $128,400, but that is just picking nits).

I have maintained all along the true cost was well over $1,500,000.00

Well, we now know I was right yet again. Note the amount listed in official City documents posted this weekend [page 34]:

It’s that big number on the top: $1,463,577. Which is pretty damn close to $1.5 million. Does that number include the $128,400 for the elevator that Spinley always loves to add on separately for some weird reason? Who knows. But we can probably assume they didn’t count stuff like paying $229,000 for the exact same building they sold for $75,000 two years earlier.

Same goes for the $12,780 they spent on a ridiculously large amount of stacking chairs that will never be used.

Bureaucratic knuckleheads like Finley and Monica might not count that as “real” money, but I do. It’s ALL part of this boondoggle.

Add it all up and you can easily make a case for more like $1.6 million wasted on that vanity project. A very far cry from Finley’s oft-repeated lie of $1.02 million.

Monica Wright’s Lack of Network Certifications is Embarrassing

For 14 years now, Monica Can’t-Wright has been polishing a seat in the IT department for the City of Lampasas. First as a basic drone and then later, she was (incredibly) elevated to “IT Director”. I suspect she was made “Director” and someone else hired as her underling because they needed someone who actually knew how to turn on a computer but didn’t have the heart to fire her. It’s the only explanation that makes sense to me.

Yet for 14 years, she has not earned ONE SINGLE certification in the area of network administration that would usually be considered a MUST for her job.

What are normal requirements for her august job title? A recent job posting gives us an idea.

Take the City of Copperas Cove, for example. They recently posted a “help wanted” ad looking for a new Director of Information Systems. According to the ad, “applicants must currently hold AT LEAST ONE of the following computer certifications: A+, Network+, Microsoft Certified Professional (MCP) or equivalent; or be able to obtain at least one of these certifications within 6 months of employment in the position“.

Most of you don’t know what those mean. Here is a summary of each:

A+ – certification represents entry-level competency as a computer technician and is a vendor neutral certification that covers various technologies and operating systems. By 2014, over one million people worldwide had earned A+ certification.  Expires in 3 years. Certification prior to January 1, 2011, is considered good-for-life (GFL) and does not expire.

Network + – is a CompTIA computer networking certification that includes computer network concepts, installation and configuration, media and topologies, management, and security [emphasis mine]

MCP – The Microsoft Certified Professional or MCP Program is the certification program from Microsoft that enables IT Professionals and Developers to validate their technical expertise through rigorous, industry-proven, and industry-recognized exams.

Monica, the supposed HEAD of the IT Department, possesses none of these. Not one.

These all seem extremely basic. WAY easier than the types of certifications someone in her position should have after 14 years. Private sector network people (the kind who EARN their pay) go much further with certifications like their CCENT or CCNA or CCNP. Neither Monica nor her underling Kristy Acevedo possess any of those three. Shocking, I know.

[I have spoken with a FORMER City of Lampasas Network administrator who worked under Monica before Acevedo was hired. HE possessed some of these certifications. He also eventually quit because (as he made clear to me in person) “Monica has no F*@&#^ing idea what the hell she is doing” (this is a paraphrase by me)]

The REALLY sad part is that the City of Lampasas would very likely FULLY PAY for these certifications as beginning continuing education for Monica so that she could actually learn to do her job, rather than farming out tens of thousands of dollars to TSM Consulting, Watchgaurd, and others. The only reason I can come up with as to why this hasn’t happened in FOURTEEN YEARS is that Monica isn’t capable of passing them.

The City manager is complicit in this as well, for failing to ensure a competent IT professional is in charge. As is City council, since Spinley supposedly answers to them. You might think a massive cyber attack back in August that cost the city tens of thousands of dollars in ruined equipment and overtime might make them ask some tough questions.

Nope. They not only didn’t ask any questions, they stonewalled me from asking any myself with City attorney Jo-Christy Brown. So there has STILL (5 months later) never been an explanation as to how it all went down.

Finley “Elmo” deGraffenreid will continue to make The Seven Goldfish dance to his tune in 2020, I’m guessing!

Lampasshole 2019 Year in Review

January – dozens of Lampassholes are lured into the CorVive pyramid-shaped scheme with promises of small waists and riches galore. Neither happened.

February – The multi-million dollar ‘Business Park’ continues to house zero businesses. Promises of $250,000 in annual revenue (LOL) prove to be false years later. Roughly $300,000 has been wasted just in interest payments ALONE.

March – The $1,500,000.00 Talbert/deGraffenreid Vanity Project is delayed due to….an overpriced elevator.

April – I use a lawyer to obtain internal City Hall emails about the no-bid Azbell $94,000 A/V system for the fancy new City council chambers. Damning emails are secured – proving Spinley lied outright and Monica deliberately tried to hide the true costs of this abomination.

May – Misti Talbert re-elected to second term. City spends $250,000 this month just on City employee benefits like retirement and health insurance.

May – IT Director Monica Wright’s payroll history report shows just how little she actually works.

June – Pope Eckermann is handed $100,000 to ‘develop’ the ‘Business Park’. This is a bargain compared to the $125,000 he wanted a month earlier. Also, two clowns and a dwarf make trouble.

July – Monica sez “Me Talk Pretty One Day”

August – Budget process in full swing. We see just how wildly overpaid our IT Department is.

August – Murderer dumps a corpse in the “Business Park”…no doubt lured by the fact it is completely and totally empty and devoid of any activity at all. As it has been for many, many years.

August 16th – Ten day ransomware attack occurs…which I estimate did roughly $40,000 in damage. This resulted in zero repercussions for our IT geniuses except praise from the mayor for a job well done. Seriously, that did happen.

August 30th – Spinley and the Seven Goldfish decide to squander $185,000 on a no-bid bathroom for a park nobody uses. Whether this is laziness or crookedness, I leave to the reader.

September – Former council member Chris Harrison joined S2M2 and then went begging to his former council buddies for $150,000 for his new development company. He was successful.

September 14th – Business Park STILL not ‘shovel ready’

September 18th – Greasy Chris Harrison is still full of shit.

September 19th – Glossary of Terms for this blog is born.

September 30th – City hires charlatans to post a survey on SurveyMonkey – which is basically a free site – so local bozos can whine about wanting a Starbucks. They waste $120,000 doing this.

October – Assistant City Manager Gary Cox was fired for resigned because….well, Spinley and the Goldfish know why 😉

October – City manages to get through HUGE art festival with only $500 worth of rental toilets. This does not dissuade Spinley and The Seven Goldfish from their previous plan to torch $185,000 in taxpayer funds to build a permanent bathroom there. Did I mention this was yet another NO-BID CONTRACT??

October – A whole bunch of City employees, politicians (and even a wife!) blow over $4,000 in tax dollars to attend the Texas Municipal League annual convention. Why? Good question.

November – Police Department makes the costly (but probably smart, given the IT Department’s incompetence) decision to remove their video archives from the bungling hands of Monica and Kristy and instead pay big bucks to REAL IT experts. Why? See: Ransomware attack.

November – Goldfish get confused when rational people respond to their economic incentives – namely, handing out tax dollars to developers. ‘Goldfish Economics’ is born.

December – the Talbert/deGraffenreid $1.5 million vanity project finally opened…a year late and nearly $500,000 over budget. Spinley and the Goldfish STILL under the false impression it “only” cost $1.02 million. The final punctuation mark to this sad joke is RKJ kicking deGraffenreid in the nuts. Oh, and the “visual” part of the $95,000 A/V system is too complicated for Monica to figure out, I think, since they aren’t using it.

December also marked my first foray (look it up, Monica) into Microsoft Paint. Don’t worry, I’ll get WAY better in the year 2020. Can’t wait!!

Whew! That is a LOT of incompetence in just one year. I would be shocked if they can top all this in 2020, but I can’t wait to find out! Happy New Year!

More Overpaid Parasites

Yet more documentation that MANY state and local government employees continue to help themselves at the expense of the people with productive jobs.

Link to article below, but here is an excerpt:

Last year, we found 1.7 million public employees earned $100,000 or more. The vast majority – 1.3 million six-figure earners – worked at the state and local levels. There were 105,000 local and state government employees out-earning every governor of the 50 states at a salary of $190,000 or more.

In Texas, 356 municipal employees made more than all governors ($190,000). Some of these towns are small, like Stanton (pop. 2,900), where the manager earned $314,696. In Whitesboro (pop. 4,000) and Manvel (pop. 10,000), the administrators were paid $312,000 and $292,529, respectively.

In Florida, the city attorney of the seaside community Dania Beach, Florida (pop. 32,000) gleaned $436,917 – that’s more than any U.S. president. At the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, eight police officers and detectives made between $300,000 and $783,000 last year.

Nearly 10,000 employees of the University of California system pulled down more than $200,000. This includes 65 highly compensated public employees who made between $1 million and $3.6 million.

Link to original article HERE.

Oh, and speaking of overpaid, arrogant government employees, I have to wonder which city employee had the cops called on their “princess” for drinking at a party at their house! Then supposedly called the cops wanting to know who tattled on their “princess”. Hmmmm….I wonder who that could have been….an arrogant city employee with a teenage daughter….hmmmmm.

Now, I know kids will be kids. I was one myself. But if my parents caught me, they beat my ass. If I had been lucky enough to have a Mom who worked for the city and she got special treatment, well she would have STILL beat my ass and been thankful she had friends in high places. Only a truly arrogant person would actually demand to know who dropped the dime. Truly unbelievable arrogance and entitlement. Not surprising at all, if this is who I hear it is.

Fishbowl Unveiled At Open Bowl Ceremony

So the City showed off their new digs earlier this week….ALL the upper-echelon (look it up, Monica) Lampassholes were there. Well, actually it was mostly City employees, City politicians and the piles of people who have made a mint off of City contracts. Even Pope Eckermann was there to bless the proceedings. As was JNW bunglers Architects. I assume there were some people there from ASJ and RKJ Construction companies but I don’t have any clue what they look like. Maybe they were the guys over in the corner laughing and lighting their cigars with $100 bills.

Finley did his best Toby Flenderson impersonation as he narrated, bloviated and pontificated on the hardships he faced in torching $1.5 million tax dollars. It was no small feat, according to him:

The building is very nice inside. Then again, for $1.5 million, it had better be. Wish I could say the same for the audio system. Granted, I was in the back of the room, but won’t that be the case all the time when 200 people pack the council room every two weeks to stay informed?

TJ Monroe either needs a new $250 microphone or needs to learn how to lean forward into it. Misti was barley intelligible but that may have had to do with a hoarse voice and her attempt to tear up during her speech to show the overwhelming emotion of throwing $1.5 million down a rat hole. I’m not sure which.

I managed to hang my seven goldfish ornaments on the tree in council chambers:

Apparently City workers and leaders have confused themselves with the CEOs of a very profitable Fortune 500 company. They spared no expense in the Executive Suite…or the break room…or the OTHER Executive Suite. Note the massive excess of chairs despite the main room being filled to capacity. Somebody got carried away with the City credit card! Again!

I also rode the Magic $128,400 elevator…and it didn’t trap me. WAY nicer than the other thousands of other elevators I’ve ridden in during my lifetime. But this is for the Fishbowl – which means SPARE NO EXPENSE!

Can’t wait to start going to some meetings next year! It’s a shame Monica never figured out how to work the video streaming component of the $95,000 audio system. That huge camera over the Mayor’s desk looks cool and expensive. A shame not to use it. Gary Cox must be rolling over in his grave.

City Somehow Spends $4,149.67 On TML Conference

As you may know, the Pro-Big-Government organization known as the Texas Municipal League (TML) holds their annual convention every October. As always, the City sent our head of the LEDC (Lampasas Economic Development Corp) to attend – where she presumably attended such important presentations as “Race and Equity – How Your City Can Implement Targeted Strategies to Improve Outcomes“.

I’m not sure why we still waste money on this, since we will soon have a new $100,000-per-year “Development Services Director” who will be in charge of spinning THEIR wheels on “development“…but whatever.

The REAL shocker is how the City managed to spend $4,149.67 (page 19 – last 8 entries) at a conference that lasted two nights and posted hotel room rates at $210!

I’ll set aside for the moment that the conference is a total joke and a waste of time. It’s something they squander money on year after year with zero results. Let’s just try to figure out how they managed to spend $4,149.67!

The conference was in San Antonio…so according to their posted agenda, our LEDC Director could have easily driven down there on Wednesday morning and driven back on Friday at noon, when the conference ended. By my count, that is TWO nights (Wednesday and Thursday).

Seeing as how the TML posted a list of hotels and their prices online…and ALL of those hotels were priced between $169 and $229 per night…it seems fairly impossible to waste $4,149.67. That works out to almost $2,100 PER NIGHT.

I’ll be charitable and call it $300 per night with taxes and valet parking. That puts us at $600 total for the conference. Still a long way from $4,150, however.

But there is more! I also know there are a bunch of hangers on who go down there too, and make it a “girls trip” on the taxpayer’s dime. I realize we NEED to field a FULL BAND to sing karaoke (page 2) and win $2,500 from Waste Connections** (see below).

Even adding in 3 more hangers on, that gets us to $1,200. I am assuming two ladies can share a room, which would be fiscally prudent seeing as how it isn’t their money. So FOUR people sharing TWO rooms still only gets us to $1,200 total. I’ll even assume they just stayed there an extra night to party it up on the taxpayer dime. That STILL gets us to only $1,800! Not even halfway there.

So I have to wonder: what the hell did they spend those thousands of dollars on? How many people need to go down there and get a hotel room for two nights and feast on the taxpayer dime? We’ll soon find out, as I have requested all receipts for this trip.

There is really no reason for more than one or two people to go to this nonsense and bring back all the “great ideas” that will turn Lampasas into the next Great City, right? Ideas like, maybe, spending a million dollars on a corpse repository ‘Business Park’ weed patch or maybe $1.5 million renovating a building to house a fancy City Council Chambers with a $95,000 no-bid audio system. Or even a $185,000 no-bid bathroom in a deserted park.

Big Ideas like that! Perhaps those great ideas all come from the TML Conference every year.

** Waste Connections sponsors the karaoke contest. They paid our group $5,000 last year for finishing first and $2,500 this year for placing second. Awesome, right? Of course, the City of Lampasas pays Waste Connections roughly $3,000 PER DAY (that’s well over a million dollars per year, Monica!) to collect garbage in our City…and I’m pretty sure their contract is up for renewal next spring. Sooooo….let’s just keep all of that in perspective. M’kay?

BEWARE!! It’s Almost Beaver Season!

No, not those adorable, furry little semi-aquatic rodents!

Jeremy ‘Meatball’ Fouts offers some high-priced fiber

I’m talking about the Eager Beaver CorVivers! The ones who appeared en masse (look it up, Monica) last December with promises of getting super rich while losing 50 pounds and annoying all your Facebook friends!

It’s about that time of year when the pyramid lovers emerge to prey on everyone feeling fat and broke after the holidays. The acolytes of Jeremy ‘Meatball’ Fouts may try and push overpriced laxatives and protein powders on you while promising riches and ‘being your own boss’.

This is, of course, all bullshit. Like the 600 other MLM pyramid scams currently in operation. Do yourself and your wallet a favor this year – and don’t fall for their nonsense. Remember that (according to Federal Trade Commission studies) 99% of MLM participants LOSE MONEY.

Again….And Again…

Some beautiful and unseasonable December weather, once again! December 13th and 15th (just like December 7th) were the kind of days hundreds of in-shape citizens stream to Campbell Park to throw Frisbees, shoot hoops, eat a picnic lunch, and lament the absence of a no-bid $185,000 bathroom.

Just kidding. This isn’t the 1950s nor is it a Leave It To Beaver town and it is also filled with Lampassholes. So the park looked like this (YET AGAIN):

Then yet again yesterday on a lovely 80 degree Sunday….

I hate to beat a dead horse, but I’m hoping if I show this deserted park enough times, even Spinley will see the pattern and wonder why he blew $185,000 on a bathroom – let alone why he couldn’t be bothered to go out and bid this project.

I guess he can always just grab a few hundred thousand from the electrical fund – like they did recently with “a total transfer of $167,202 from an electric fund surplus. The amendments move $100,000 from the electric fund to the general fund balance“

Isn’t that nice? Grab $167,202 in ‘electric fund surplus‘ and use it to cover all your profligate spending. Just raise electric rates a penny or two every year and…voila! Slush fund.

I really can’t wait to take a nice big dump in the new bathroom. Literally.

Another Gorgeous Day At Campbell Park…With 0 People

Good thing Finley decreed that the City spend $185,000.00 on a no-bid toilet for the park. Just look at all those people with bursting bladders enjoying a beautiful day on Saturday December 7th – around noon.

They already shelled out $158,000 to Restroom Facilities LTD ($83,158 check #153217 and $74,842 check #154306) for the privilege of them dumping a pre-fab building into Campbell Park by crane. Then they’re going to spend another chunk of money hooking it up, apparently.

Funny thing is – I see ZERO prep work going on for this. No foundation has been built, etc. Gonna be hard to reach Spinley’s b.s. target date of “December”. I suppose he could have meant December 2020.

Just look at all the cars in the parking lot!!

Yet Another $100,000 Job Title Being Created To “Plan” And “Manage” Lampasas Growth.

First it was the Lampasas Economic Development Corp (LEDC). The LEDC spends gobs of money on salaries/benefits ($100,000) and wasteful, fruitless projects like the corpse repository ‘Business Park’ (over $1,000,000 and counting) and Texas Municipal League Conferences. But that accomplished nothing. The Big Wigs and Goldfish needed more.

Then the City handed out hundreds of thousands of tax dollars and fee waivers to developers (and former City Council members) to rip out oak trees and build houses that cost twice as much as the average Lampasas property . But the Big Wigs were still displeased.

They hired Halff Associates to ‘consult’ (i.e. $120,000 to put up a survey on SurveyMonkey) and also asked a half dozen low-IQ screwballs at a ‘Town Hall” meeting to throw out pipe dreams and fairy tale wishes for our fair city. This STILL did nothing and it angered the Big Wigs more!!

So, NOW they are creating a “Development Services Director” with a salary in the $70,000 range!! Add in benefits, and you are already at roughly $98,000. Not to mention all the other goodies they will need like a car allowance, hotel rooms for useless conferences, etc. And for what? Well, according to the official job posting, this new person will “plan, organize and manage the growth and development of the community through City ordinances and policies.”

Hmmm. Sounds more like the job of the City council, the zoning board and the LEDC, doesn’t it? How many $100,000 clowns does it take to ‘plan’ growth? I kinda prefer the free market, myself. Not some dummy who majored in a joke like “urban planning” at the local junior college.

Furthermore, this new person will “provide direction and leadership in implementing the City’s Comprehensive Plan and Development Services“.

Now, where have I heard that “comprehensive plan” before? Oh yeah – that’s what the recommendations of the Halff Associates $120,000 boondoggle are called. So these City geniuses hire Halff for $120,000 and their response is to put a survey up on Survey Monkey and apparently to recommend the City create another $100,000 position to implement the Halff Associates recommendations! LOL!!

Wow. I REALLY should have gone into government work instead of stupidly opting to become a productive member of the private sector, so I could be milked to death by idiot bureaucrats and politicians.