Author: admin

Predictions For 2023

What does my crystal ball show for next year? Here are some educated guestimates…

(1) Mayor TJ Monroe will run for a second term in May, even at the advanced Biden-like age of 74. If she DOESN’T run, I think Kuehne has aspirations for that particular position. God help us.

(2) Finley will retire and Ryan Ward will take over. I’ve heard that Ward is a “nice guy”. Great. From what I’ve seen he’s not super bright and his ‘solution’ for every problem (both real and imagined) is to spend a ton of money. He has been here only a year and has already implemented several costly programs of questionable necessity.

Naturally, he’ll get ANOTHER raise when he is elevated to this position – despite ALREADY getting TWO raises in his first 9 months of employment here.

(3) Nobody will move into the Business Pork. Our $7.5 million plot of fire hydrants and a road will sit empty another year. Some new “economic director” will tell us they they get “tons of calls” every week from the governor’s office.

(4) S2M2 will fail to build the 22 houses they are supposed to have built by December of 2023. City council will do nothing, despite handing them $185,000 a couple years ago as part of an “agreement” to do so.

(5) The joke company known as “Eco-Strong” and run by con man Mike Cour will FINALLY and spectacularly go out of business. There is no market for $46,000 fences in the middle of a recession and 7% interest rates. The warehouse over there by Brown’s Feed will be abandoned by Cour and he will likely owe a lot of people money in his wake.

(6) Local socialist Clayton Tucker will turn 32 in February and will continue to live with his parents for the entire year. He will not get a job in 2023 and will continue to bitch about “fixing the grid” despite the fact it is the very same unreliable power sources he champions that cause all the problems.

(7) Bruce Haywood will stay fat, stupid and annoying all throughout 2023, assuming he doesn’t drop dead of morbid obesity or the vaccine.

(8) The Fed will pussy out and NOT raise rates any further at their February meeting. The top is in for fed funds, imho. Not financial advice.

(9) We will see a well-known business (or two) that have been in Lampasas for YEARS shut their doors due to the shitty Biden economy.

(10) There will be a huge uptick in commercial air accidents, crashes and deaths as the stupidity of DEI diversity hires and of force-vaxxing pilots begin to really be felt.

(11) Within 90 days of the skate park opening, there will be graffiti and vandalism galore. The bathroom there will be vandalized and/or damaged to the point it has to be closed.

Looking Forward to 2023…

I love making lists. Here’s one…

People who will probably die in 2023 and I will be super bummed out about: Clint Eastwood, Gene Hackman.

Clint and Gene are the last of the old school Hollywood bad asses. Especially Clint. The guy is the epitome of the strong, silent type. He’s a free-market libertarian, his movies kill it, and he always comes in under budget. He once punched his son in the face for leaving his sister at a party. That is OLD SCHOOL parenting.

Gene kicked some guy’s ass in a minor traffic wreck when he was like 72 years old. Remember that scene in Unforgiven when he takes English Bob and knocks his dick in the dirt in front of the entire town while yelling bas-ass lines at him?

“You probably think I’m kicking you, Bob…but it ain’t so! What I’m doing is talking, you hear? I’m talking to all those villains down in Kansas!”

Gene Hackman does that shit in real life.

I have zero doubt that 92-year-old Gene or Clint could still kick the asses of most 32-year-old pussies running around today (**cough ** Clayton Tucker ** cough).

People who will probably die in 2023 and I’ll be just fine with it: Dan Rather, William Shatner, George Soros

Remember in the old days when if you did something so slimy, unethical and embarrassing you got fired for it, you then disappeared into the weeds never to be heard from again? Well, that is NOT Dan Rather. He is still shamelessly blathering his libshit garbage on Twitter. I’ll be happy to see him dead.

Shatner? Just a giant asshole. Ditto for Soros. Soros is a real-life comic book villain.

People who will probably not die in 2023 but I really wish they would: Jamie Raskin, Sean Penn, Mitch McConnell, Seth Rogen, Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters, Jimmy Kimmel, Joe Biden, George Takai, Stephen Colbert, Grady Lucas of Lampasas TX, Howard Stern, Rob Reiner, Barney Frank, Whoopi Goldberg and the other morons on that show, Chuck Schumer, George Lopez, Joe Scarborough, Ilhan Omar, Bernie Sanders, Barbara Streisand….well, this is going to be a long list. Hold on.

“Fifth Generation” Rancher Now Has “Several” Goats.

Our local socialist bum and self-proclaimed “fifth-generation rancher” (LOL!) shared some information about his grampa’s ranch recently!

According to Clayton Tucker:

On a personal note, you may find some joy in my latest ranch adventures. I bought my very first donkey this year, a real sweetheart named Penny (she is indeed a true TX Democrat!). I got her to protect our goats–of which we now have several, as I work to build up my family’s ranch. As it turns out, Penny arrived pregnant, so she was a two-for-one special! We named her baby boy Peso.

She’s a true Democrat? Why do you say that? Does she sleep til noon and then steal the food of the other animals who worked all day? The sad thing is she’s the closest thing to a girlfriend you will ever have…but something tells me you’ll be far more interested in her male offspring.

So after five generations of ranchers (or about 130 years), five generations of Tuckers have managed to amass a single donkey and you have “several” goats?

Impressive.

But why would you need to “build up” a ranch that has been in operation for 130 years, according to you? You are about to turn 32 years old. What the hell have you been doing for the last 10 years?

It also means, once again, that I TOO am a rancher and I didn’t even know it! I also had “several goats” and a donkey for about 4 or 5 years. I managed to accomplish that with two phone calls in the course of a week. But I hear you Tuckers are a little slow.

The other hole in his “fifth generation rancher” bullshit story is that he has said on a few occasions that his dad owned an auto parts store. I guess he was one of those “virtual ranchers” as well. Or maybe he shoveled shit once, which makes you a rancher in Clayton’s book.

Say, that reminds me….

Two fake ranchers, Clayton and Beto, are driving down a dirt road when they come across Penny the donkey with her head stuck in the fence.

Beto says “Man I haven’t had any pussy in months!” He jumps out of the truck Prius and just starts banging the donkey like there’s no tomorrow.

Then Beto looks over at Clayton and says “Hey, do you want any of this?” Clayton replies “Sure….but do I have to put my head in the fence?”

Sales Tax Receipts For November: Lampasas BEATS State of Texas!

My goodness. How did THIS happen?? Mandy Walsh has been gone for two months and there is nobody to “direct” our economy! This is certainly baffling!

It was a squeaker, but we eked out just under one percentage point better than the state as a whole.

What has me stumped is why our receipts are so ‘lumpy’ for lack of a better word. April, June and October show massive drop-offs compared to the state AND compared to our own previous and prior months.

Maybe it’s all those Corvive millionaires that were minted a couple years ago buying Lambos and Bentleys or something.

Julie Landrum: Hippie or Hitler?

Oh that Julie Cain Landrum! She’s such an ARTIST! She is so AVANT GARDE!

Such a “cool kid” and member of the counterculture! Yeah! She’s an artist “sticking it to the man”! She’s making the status quo “uncomfortable” with all of her rebellion and individuality!

Oh, except that one time when Wuhan Flu was going around and she immediately fell into line with the government propaganda and turned into a Soviet-era snitch…ratting out anyone who didn’t want to impose the moronic mask mandates that violated 100 years of well-understood science about virus transmission.

Those are known as “crazy eyes”

An ‘artist’ comforts disturbed individuals? YOU are the disturbed individual. Twat.

I told you I’ll NEVER forgive or forget about the Covid Cult scumbags who turned into little mini Hitlers and went Good German overnight. I will keep that promise until the day I die of non-Covid causes.

People like Melissa Johnson, Bruce Haywood, Karen Spivey-Cummings, Lee Morey, Allie H Yanta, Michelle D Moore-Rodriguez, Christopher McDaniel, Gregory Thompson, Rohnda Witcher, Jennifer Moreno (Sanchez), Potato Head Stephanie Fitzharris and Clayton Tucker.

How does it make you feel that you’ve spent the last 3 years abusing your body and your mental health in a paranoid delusion about a virus and I spent the last 3 years living totally normal?

The 70s Kicked Ass

Close your eyes and you’ll hear the sound of natural selection…

This was the greatest game ever invented for middle-school gym class. You knew exactly where you stood in terms of coolness. The nerds and unathletic were the first to get hit (easy marks). It always came down to the same three or four kids at the end.

There are deliverers of pain, and there are receivers of pain. I guarantee you, Clayton Tucker still has a slight impression of that cross hatch pattern on his back somewhere.

In seventh-grade PE my friend drilled his brother in the face, broke his glasses, and I think he was bleeding a little. HIS OWN BROTHER.

There were no friends or family on the other side, only victims.

Come to think of it, this country really started going down the shitter when schools started banning dodgeball and other “human target” games. How do we expect to raise men to protect our country if we treat them like flower-holding pussies all of their childhood? Kids need to lose, kids need to get hurt, kids need to be made fun of. It’s what gets them ready for life.

Absolutely ridiculous. Dodgeball was not an oppressor of children…it was a teacher of life.

Some Free Writing Lessons for Ryan Ward. He Needs Them.

I’m sure many people think I’m being a nitpicker with all this grammar and spelling shit, but if you’re going to hire someone as the #2 guy on the City totem pole (soon to be #1?), he should be able to write in a way that isn’t a complete embarrassment to the City of Lampasas.

We’ve seen this before, but it was at a lower level: merely a department head.

Ward is one of the top bananas and costs the City about $158,000 in salary and benefits. I’m guessing he corresponds by email with dozens of people as well as the outside world. He should know how to string a few sentences together.

Here is a screenshot of the last City council packet blurb:

Posed with opportunities?? I think he means “presented”….but that is the least of the issues here!

Here is how it SHOULD read:

As more photovoltaic (PV) systems are installed in our city, we need to make sure our electric customers have the data to make informed decisions. This presentation aims to educate Council regarding the scale and impacts of PV system deployment in Lampasas.

BAM. Done.

All that other shit is just poorly-worded fluff. One thing I have learned in my 53 years is that when someone writes like Ward (with all the extra words and repeating themselves) they are usually trying to sound a lot smarter than they really are.

As for the CONTENTS of this presentation…

Actually, I would argue it is not your job to make sure any solar customer makes an informed decision. That is the job of the guy buying the PV system and the guy selling it. Are you going to tell them how to buy a car too? Maybe tell them to stay away from the Ram 1500 because it is a giant piece of shit? Then you could move on to the moronic 28-year-old welfare mom about to have her fifth kid with her third boyfriend and tell her she is making a VERY shitty decision?

Every grown adult should know to do their research when making a big purchase. If not, they will sure as hell know after they muck it all up. It’s called experience…and you are trying to deprive them of that.

As for the presentation itself? Ward wasted considerable time on this whole thing. About the only time I feel sorry for council members is when they have to sit and listen for 22 minutes to something that could take 4 minutes. I’d lose my shit if I was them.

He could have easily said “we currently have 30 houses with PV systems. We estimate maybe two or three more per year. Don’t worry about any of it because the guys installing this shit AND the power company know what they are doing. Worst case scenario is you get a little extra power from these guys and pay them 5 cents a kilowatt-hour and then sell that same power for 11 cents per kilowatt-hour. But I doubt you’ll notice shit because we are talking about spit in the ocean here. End of presentation.”

Two minutes tops. Then hand out your ridiculous nine-page Power Point for people to read (or throw away) on their own time.

PhoLicious Goes From Pho-cker To Pho-ckee!

Oh delicious irony….you are even tastier than a $7 bowl of Ramen noodles.

I have been following the PhoLicious warehouse hiring soap opera with great interest because I have side bets with a friend on whether $13/hour will be enough to lure in a warehouse worker in a big city like Houston. My bet was “no fucking way”.

We have watched for nine days now as Trousdale tries to sweeten the pot with anything and everything EXCEPT a higher hourly wage. He even offered to let his worker take off opening day for deer season! Of course, that is like 330 days from now…so it costs him nothing until then. Very sneaky! I’m starting to think he might be Chinese.

Anyhoo…PhoLicious posted triumphantly yesterday about hiring someone. My buddy tried to collect on the bet, but I said “let’s wait a few days and see if he doesn’t quit or burn the place down”.

Well, 18 hours later…..

Only 18 hours from joy to despair…

What a dick, huh? Saying you’d be there and then just disappearing? It would be like, I don’t know, being a small local business and stringing along the local Economic Development Director as a prospect for a local Business Park and then moving to another town at the last second and leaving them with their dicks in their hands looking foolish…

Kind of like that.

I hope Mandy Walsh is having a good laugh at Trousdale’s expense. I know I would be, but I’m an asshole.

Also $13/hr for warehouse work is not “decent money” nor is it a “super easy job”. If you want a super easy job and outrageous money, you’d need to do something like be the City Manager of a small town like Lampasas. Then you get about $92 an hour for writing emails and completing dubious projects (new council chambers, A/V systems, Hostess House, Campbell Park bathroom, skate park, Campbell Park pavilion, etc) at triple the estimated cost….

If you’re REALLY lucky, you work under a mayor who is an imbecile and actually PRAISES you for all of your expensive bungling!

It was only nine days ago I was laughing at how the LEDC shouldn’t care they let a “great Business Pork prospect” get away because they were creating ONE job at $13 an hour.

LEDC Let THIS Prospect Get Away? LOL.

Turns out, they haven’t even managed THAT yet!

Come on Joseph! We all know what it’s going to take to find a warm body: raise your wage and win me my bet. What are you saving up to be? Jewish?

Why's that, Lieutenant? What you saving up to be, Jewish?

The Goldfish Swim Tonight: 12-12-22 Council Meeting

A weem-a-way, a weem-a-way, a weem-a-way, a weem-a-way

A weem-a-way, a weem-a-way, a weem-a-way, a weem-a-way

In the fish bowl, the pricey fish bowl, the Goldfish swim tonight!

In the fish bowl, the pricey fish bowl, the Goldfish swim tonight!

Oooooh, oooooh eee-ooo-wam-a-way.

Join us on Gab.com – for commentary.

Tonight’s topics include:

(1) Assistant to the City Manager Ryan “Forrest Gump” Ward will expound at length about solar panels.

Actually, I am listening to it right now.

Why is Gump wasting untold manhours during “work” hours making up these Power Points and yammering about things like how big of a system a person might need, or how much money they might save? Why is he wasting council’s time on this shit? Why is he warning City council “these are the things you need to consider if you are looking into a solar system”?

Good question. None of that is Gump’s job.

The person who needs to know all that shit and do their own research is the guy shelling out the money for a solar power system on his house. All that other stuff is between the customer and the solar vendor. Nobody else, and certainly not Gump.

A few months ago, Gump wasted time on similar “instruction” to City council on saving water because we were in a drought. Thank goodness we have Mother Gump to look out for us all and tell us morons how to take care of ourselves.

Mind you, this is a guy who writes like a third grader. Clearly, we should ALL be taking our cues from Mother Gump.

(2) Updates on City projects. Gump is also doing the reporting on City project updates too! Hmmm. Almost like Finley (who is sitting right there) is letting Gump take over more and more responsibility as Finley prepares to retire (?). Perhaps more evidence that my guesses about Finley retiring soon are true.

Gump is now filling us in on the Skate Park. He has let us know that Harrison Construction finished the base pad. Wait. Harrison? Is that like CHRIS Harrison? Chris Harrison the former City council member who sat there earlier in the year and told us that the skyrocketing cost of the skate park was because of “diesel” and I wondered why in the fuck a FORMER council member like Chris Harrison was sitting there involved in this at all and carrying water for council? Oh…now I see why Chris Harrison was trying to explain away the massive cost increase to the skate park as “diesel” – because his company was the one that was going to charge that exploding price.

My my my. This is not unlike the time Chris Harrison whored himself out to S2M2, the developer of Brodie Estates, and got City council to hand his new employer $185,000 for a detention pond.

Now I see. Silly me.

(3) More updates on the Business Pork Project. Coincidentally, I drove into that thing today to see what $2.7 million looks like. Well, we got 15 fire hydrants and about 3/4 of a mile of road. Congratulations! Money well spent.

Say that reminds me: if Finley DOES retire early next year, that will be the THIRD person intimately involved with the Business Pork Project to retire/resign/disappear just MONTHS before the entire 20-year disaster supposedly comes to fruition.

Very odd, indeed.