What a complete and utter pussy. Not to mention, a liar.
But mostly a pussy.
SO MANY LIES!!
First of all, what “machinery” did your leg “almost get crushed” by? If you are out in the field by yourself on a tractor, you CANNOT get off the tractor without putting on the parking brake AND disengaging the PTO. Otherwise, the thing will shut down the second you take your ass off the seat.
You complete dummy. You total lying sack of shit.
There is literally NO WAY to “get your leg caught between a tractor and a ‘piece of equipment’ on a modern tractor. Plus NOBODY says “a piece of equipment.” They’d say what the equipment was.
You fucking DUMMY!!
I know he has modern safety features on his dad’s tractor because Comrade Clayton has a fancy, right-off-the-showroom-floor JAPANESE tractor. I have zero doubt all the safety features are still operational…unlike my zero-turn mower.
No, daddy bought that. Also, it is totally clean and unused.
Then he goes on to lie about being hours from a “rural hospital” (another lie – he lives at his mom’s house which is one mile from AdventHealth Rollins Brook)…
…AND he freaks out about dying from a rattlesnake bite like a complete pussy, even though he spends his life driving around in a wind-up toy truck and NOT doing any ranching.
The only reason he looks all sweaty and flushed in his video is because he probably tried to fuck one of his goats and it fought back and got a little out of hand. That’s it. There was no tractor accident. Just Clayton trying to get laid by a farm animal.
[For the record, we have the Family Medicine Clinic, Sulfur Creek Urgent Care (an excellent place, btw) AND a hospital on Key Avenue – ALL within 2 miles of Clayton’s mom’s house where he lives. That is for a small town of 7,500 people. Not too shabby, if you ask me. What Comrade Clayton REALLY means is he wants SOMEONE ELSE to pay for his medical care because he is jobless, broke and lazy.
I’m also not sure what he’s so scared of happening, medically speaking. He’s only 35 years old. His only real danger at his age is contracting AIDS or monkeypox and he can just insist Beto wear a condom if he’s so worried about that. It’s not like he’s going to have a heart attack any time soon. What a pussy. I’m in my 50s and live 20 minutes from the hospital. If anyone is at risk for not making it to the hospital in time, it’s me. But if I cared that much about being super close to a hospital, I’d move. That’s what grown men do. Little boys who live with mom and can’t find their own place do something else: they whine on gay videos about healthcare.]
[There is so much to unpack after the recent coyote attacks, that I will likely have to break it into multiple posts. This one is going to deal with his lies about his occupation.]
Perhaps he’s just tired of trying to remember his past lies.
Perhaps (most likely) he’s just REALLY a dumb guy and thinks nobody will notice.
Whatever the reason, the recent RX Ranch Coyote Goat Massacre aftermath saw our local fake rancher make multiple slip-ups as he talked in his comment section about why he has overseen an inordinate number of goat deaths in the last year. By my count, he’s overseen at least 17 deaths – including those two poor dwarf goats.
The resultant burst of babbling from Comrade Clayton was nothing short of ridiculous.
But the most damning of all, was THIS admission. Multiple people asked why he didn’t just get some fucking guard dogs already, since his donkeys are completely worthless. His answer? Pure gold:
Logistics? LOL. It ain’t complicated – you find a dog, go buy it and drive it home. I know Comrade Clayton has owned dogs before because he blabbered about his dog Hershey all the time in 2020 when he got crushed running for state senate. So what’s the problem? More and more people repeated the guard dog suggestion, so he waffled again!
Huge, complicated logistical issues! Intractable problems! Like building a suspension bridge out of wet noodles! How can he be expected to do it? Oh, but the truth finally came out:
“Due to my campaign work” he’s never around?!? Kind of like I’ve been saying for YEARS now? A fake hobby ranch where you take a few pictures of goats in between Tweeting Bernie Sanders nonsense and pointlessly traveling to 12-person gatherings of old people to yell about power to the people? LOL.
First of all, right there he admits this whole “ranch” thing is window dressing bullshit. It is NOT his job or a source of any real income. It is an afterthought. A joke. Something to impress the urban rubes. Just playtime on grandpa’s property with some pets. If you can’t be bothered to be around enough to save your animals, you are not a rancher. You are a fraud.
Secondly: WHAT CAMPAIGN?? Whoops, Comrade. It’s not even primary season! You have not filed to run for anything at all – you can’t even physically file yet, even if you wanted to. So what “campaign” are you speaking of, you clown?? Did you slip up and admit this is all a prelude to a run for Ag Commissioner? Maybe you’re planning to run against David Spiller, who you also recently took a shit on?
Either way: oops.
But then he changes his story AGAIN the very next day! Now he’s telling people THIS whopper:
“Work” as I understand it (and did myself for many years) involves trading your time and effort for monetary compensation. Puttering around the state and screaming “power to the people” to 14 sad, old farts at a happy hour is certainly not a “job,” you yam bag.
Ouch. Lies, lies and more lies. Of course, that’s what compulsive liars do. None of these lies will look very good if/when you DO decide to run for something soon. I’ll make sure of that, you scumbag.
Oh yeah – incedentally, this information also completely neutralizes Comrade Clayton’s bellyaching and destroys his major excuse for failing at ranching, which is “Big Ag.” Big Ag is trying to crush the little guy! Big Ag has a monopoly on everything! Big Ag is ruining family farms!
It’s not Big Ag holding you back. It’s your own laziness and lack of effort. If you aren’t even willing to do the minimal work required to keep your animals safe (feed a guard dog) because you are off gallivanting around pretending to be a dime-store Bernie Sanders for zero compensation, then you only have yourself to blame – not some boogeyman named “Big Ag,” you fuckwit.
“Ranching can be pretty, pretty rough.” – [03:13:30 mark] Clayton Tucker, fake rancher who lives with mother at age 33 spewing laughable nonsense to a ‘crowd’ of 13 nerds at SXSW.
Yeah, it looks rough. Look at those calloused hands, washboard abs and broad shoulders.
Well, it was totally worth sitting through about 12 minutes of nonstop buzzwords, bullshit and lies, because comrade Clayton produced copious amounts of falsehoods and contradicted many of his earlier lies in life.
As luck would have it, I had a long drive back from spring break at the exact time Comrade Clayton was “speaking” to the massive SXSW crowds!
Tight camera angle hides the fact there are only 15 people there…
The tl;dr version? Three nerds (Austin City council member Natasha Harper-Madison didn’t bother to show up) who have never created or produced anything in their lives (let alone food for the masses) sat on a stage with great smugness and pomposity to inform us that the government needs to steal a LOT more money from you and hand it to brown and black people so they can eat. Blah blah blah climate change, blah blah blah community empowerment, blah blah blah corporations, blah blah blah equity.
“It’s a family ranch and I am the THIRD generation at it.” [2:59:30 mark]
Lie.
As you all know, Comrade Clayton has been claiming to be a FIFTH generation rancher for years now. See how easily the communist lies? Like taking a breath. Changing his ‘facts’ as needed. He plastered “fifth generation rancher” all over his campaign materials when he needed to convince voters he was some salt-of-the-earth rancher.
In truth, it doesn’t really matter what ‘generation’ he claims to be because the reality is that he isn’t a rancher at all. Unless a “rancher” is any human who walks around on grandpa’s property taking selfies with goats to post for idiot liberal septuagenarians to gawk at on Facebook.
“Now we are diversifying into goats, because the climate is changing and we felt that’s a little better for arid climate.” [2:59:30 mark]
Lie.
Comrade Clayton previously stated they were raising goats because the cattle industry is SO monopolized (it’s not) that they just couldn’t make it as a small family farm.
Never mind they have been “into goats” since before 2020. Another lie.
To be clear, RX Ranch is NOT failing because a 33-year-old halfwit who just started taking ranching classes four months ago is now in charge of the operation – an operation which doesn’t even have a website. No, no, no. It’s because of climate change and Big Ag.
“I do a lot of work with international trade.” – BAHAHAHAHAHA. Lie. No you don’t.
“What would do the most good? To break up Big Ag. Break up the monopolies. They are CRUSHING small farmers and ranchers.” [3:00:45 mark]
[Note: Comrade Clayton LOVES the government-run education monopoly. He is vehemently against vouchers and school choice. But he HATES monopolies in the farming and ranching industry. Government monopoly on schools: good. Monopolies on ranching: bad. Get it? Yeah, me either – he’s a moron.]
My favorite part is when Comrade Clayton tried to talk about the evils of Round-Up and fucked up the name of the main chemical in it: glyphosate. That’s GLY-PHOS-ATE, you complete mook.
Comrade Clayton calls it something else:
“Almost every cereal has glyophates [made up word] in them...that’s RoundUp…every time you eat that bowl of cereal, you are eating RoundUp…” [3:13:58 mark]
One wonders why a big-time rancher and farmer like Clayton Tucker (RX Ranch SDEC-24 TX) has to go to Wal-Mart and buy chemical-laden cereal shitflakes for the poor when he is the (supposed) FOUNDER and OWNER of a RANCH!! Why not just bring some of your meat or crops over there to hand out? Maybe because you are a FAKE rancher…and a FAKE farmer?
Wait – in 2020, he had goats? Why did he say they just diversified into goats last year? Why did he say he’s a farmer growing crops? Because he is a piece of shit communist liar.
One also wonders why Mister “Save the Poor American Farmer” douchebag went and bought a JAPANESE tractor? Well, his parents or grandpa did, anyways. No way he has the money for that.
We = grandpa or dad. Clayton is broke and lives with mom.
We will poke WAY more fun at this entire thing because there is even more to ridicule…coming soon.
Until then…..
Two fake ranchers, Clayton and Beto, are driving down a dirt road when they come across Penny the donkey with her head stuck in the fence.
Beto says “Man I haven’t had any pussy in months!” He jumps out of the truck Prius and just starts banging the donkey like there’s no tomorrow.
Then Beto looks over at Clayton and says “Hey, do you want any of this?” Clayton replies “Sure….but do I have to put my head in the fence?”
