Tag: lying sack of shit

Socialist Moron Clayton Tucker Admits He’s Not Really a Rancher. Lies About True Occupation. Lies Some More. Ends Up Tangled In Huge Shitweb Of Lies Once Again.

[There is so much to unpack after the recent coyote attacks, that I will likely have to break it into multiple posts. This one is going to deal with his lies about his occupation.]

Perhaps he was distraught from the multiple goat deaths he recently suffered, including losing his SECOND and final dwarf goat – the unfortunately-named male goat “Cinnabon.” Cinnabon’s brother “Splenda” ALSO died last November under the care of serial goat-murderer Clayton Tucker.

AI rendition of The RX Ranch Great Coyote Massacre of 2025

[With both dwarf goats now dead (the same ones he ‘misplaced’ last year), that kind of puts a crimp on the “mini goat yoga” business model, does it not? Better go change the website, buddy.]

Perhaps he’s just tired of trying to remember his past lies.

Perhaps (most likely) he’s just REALLY a dumb guy and thinks nobody will notice.

Whatever the reason, the recent RX Ranch Coyote Goat Massacre aftermath saw our local fake rancher make multiple slip-ups as he talked in his comment section about why he has overseen an inordinate number of goat deaths in the last year. By my count, he’s overseen at least 17 deaths – including those two poor dwarf goats.

The resultant burst of babbling from Comrade Clayton was nothing short of ridiculous.

But the most damning of all, was THIS admission. Multiple people asked why he didn’t just get some fucking guard dogs already, since his donkeys are completely worthless. His answer? Pure gold:

Logistics? LOL. It ain’t complicated – you find a dog, go buy it and drive it home. I know Comrade Clayton has owned dogs before because he blabbered about his dog Hershey all the time in 2020 when he got crushed running for state senate. So what’s the problem? More and more people repeated the guard dog suggestion, so he waffled again!

Huge, complicated logistical issues! Intractable problems! Like building a suspension bridge out of wet noodles! How can he be expected to do it? Oh, but the truth finally came out:

“Due to my campaign work” he’s never around?!? Kind of like I’ve been saying for YEARS now? A fake hobby ranch where you take a few pictures of goats in between Tweeting Bernie Sanders nonsense and pointlessly traveling to 12-person gatherings of old people to yell about power to the people? LOL.

First of all, right there he admits this whole “ranch” thing is window dressing bullshit. It is NOT his job or a source of any real income. It is an afterthought. A joke. Something to impress the urban rubes. Just playtime on grandpa’s property with some pets. If you can’t be bothered to be around enough to save your animals, you are not a rancher. You are a fraud.

Secondly: WHAT CAMPAIGN?? Whoops, Comrade. It’s not even primary season! You have not filed to run for anything at all – you can’t even physically file yet, even if you wanted to. So what “campaign” are you speaking of, you clown?? Did you slip up and admit this is all a prelude to a run for Ag Commissioner? Maybe you’re planning to run against David Spiller, who you also recently took a shit on?

Either way: oops.

But then he changes his story AGAIN the very next day! Now he’s telling people THIS whopper:

WHOA!!! Wait, now you travel FOR WORK? What work is that? You’re supposedly a rancher! Why are you traveling? The only other fake job you have besides rancher is that ridiculous “Trade Justice Education” farce, which I have demonstrated pretty convincingly likely pays you approximately $0 per year – and which you NEVER mention outside of re-Tweeting maybe 4 posts per year.

“Work” as I understand it (and did myself for many years) involves trading your time and effort for monetary compensation. Puttering around the state and screaming “power to the people” to 14 sad, old farts at a happy hour is certainly not a “job,” you yam bag.

Ouch. Lies, lies and more lies. Of course, that’s what compulsive liars do. None of these lies will look very good if/when you DO decide to run for something soon. I’ll make sure of that, you scumbag.

Oh yeah – incedentally, this information also completely neutralizes Comrade Clayton’s bellyaching and destroys his major excuse for failing at ranching, which is “Big Ag.” Big Ag is trying to crush the little guy! Big Ag has a monopoly on everything! Big Ag is ruining family farms!

It’s not Big Ag holding you back. It’s your own laziness and lack of effort. If you aren’t even willing to do the minimal work required to keep your animals safe (feed a guard dog) because you are off gallivanting around pretending to be a dime-store Bernie Sanders for zero compensation, then you only have yourself to blame – not some boogeyman named “Big Ag,” you fuckwit.

Craterin’ Clayton: Socialist Bodaggit Clayton Tucker Bombs Hard At His SXSW “Speech.” Lies Galore. Mangles Glyphosate. Lies Some More.

“Ranching can be pretty, pretty rough.” – [03:13:30 mark] Clayton Tucker, fake rancher who lives with mother at age 33 spewing laughable nonsense to a ‘crowd’ of 13 nerds at SXSW.

Yeah, it looks rough. Look at those calloused hands, washboard abs and broad shoulders.

Well, it was totally worth sitting through about 12 minutes of nonstop buzzwords, bullshit and lies, because comrade Clayton produced copious amounts of falsehoods and contradicted many of his earlier lies in life.

As luck would have it, I had a long drive back from spring break at the exact time Comrade Clayton was “speaking” to the massive SXSW crowds!

Tight camera angle hides the fact there are only 15 people there…

The tl;dr version? Three nerds (Austin City council member Natasha Harper-Madison didn’t bother to show up) who have never created or produced anything in their lives (let alone food for the masses) sat on a stage with great smugness and pomposity to inform us that the government needs to steal a LOT more money from you and hand it to brown and black people so they can eat. Blah blah blah climate change, blah blah blah community empowerment, blah blah blah corporations, blah blah blah equity.

That sums it up.

Here are some great moments out of Comrade Clayton Tucker – who was a “speaker” on this panel and probably yammered for a grand total of 187 seconds over the course of the 18-minute panel.

“It’s a family ranch and I am the THIRD generation at it.” [2:59:30 mark]

Lie.

As you all know, Comrade Clayton has been claiming to be a FIFTH generation rancher for years now. See how easily the communist lies? Like taking a breath. Changing his ‘facts’ as needed. He plastered “fifth generation rancher” all over his campaign materials when he needed to convince voters he was some salt-of-the-earth rancher.

In truth, it doesn’t really matter what ‘generation’ he claims to be because the reality is that he isn’t a rancher at all. Unless a “rancher” is any human who walks around on grandpa’s property taking selfies with goats to post for idiot liberal septuagenarians to gawk at on Facebook.

“Now we are diversifying into goats, because the climate is changing and we felt that’s a little better for arid climate.” [2:59:30 mark]

Lie.

Comrade Clayton previously stated they were raising goats because the cattle industry is SO monopolized (it’s not) that they just couldn’t make it as a small family farm.

Never mind they have been “into goats” since before 2020. Another lie.

To be clear, RX Ranch is NOT failing because a 33-year-old halfwit who just started taking ranching classes four months ago is now in charge of the operation – an operation which doesn’t even have a website. No, no, no. It’s because of climate change and Big Ag.

“I do a lot of work with international trade.” – BAHAHAHAHAHA. Lie. No you don’t.

“What would do the most good? To break up Big Ag. Break up the monopolies. They are CRUSHING small farmers and ranchers.” [3:00:45 mark]

[Note: Comrade Clayton LOVES the government-run education monopoly. He is vehemently against vouchers and school choice. But he HATES monopolies in the farming and ranching industry. Government monopoly on schools: good. Monopolies on ranching: bad. Get it? Yeah, me either – he’s a moron.]

So you are being crushed? I thought you’ve been around three (or five) generations? My non-corporate friends at Winter’s Beef sure seem to be doing alright. Same with R-C Ranch here in Texas. Maybe because they are REAL ranchers who spend their time raising beef and selling it online instead of driving down to Austin to “speak” for 125 seconds in front of 13 to 15 commies to blather lies and cliches.

Say, that reminds me: how’s that website coming for your “ranch,” comrade?

Three months later: no website. Just lots of complaining.

Wouldn’t that kind of be an important task to complete before you go crying to the masses about how climate change and Big Ag is destroying your family ranch? Maybe actually raise some meat and sell it? Nah. Easier to join several farmers unions and cry about how unfair everything is. Even though you have no fucking idea what you’re doing and just took your first beginner ranching classes a couple months ago at age 32.

My favorite part is when Comrade Clayton tried to talk about the evils of Round-Up and fucked up the name of the main chemical in it: glyphosate. That’s GLY-PHOS-ATE, you complete mook.

Comrade Clayton calls it something else:

“Almost every cereal has glyophates [made up word] in them...that’s RoundUp…every time you eat that bowl of cereal, you are eating RoundUp…” [3:13:58 mark]

Gly-0-phates is not a word, you dunce. It’s glyphosate. Plus, the EPA (which is YOUR beloved Big Government protector) says you are wrong.

Wait a sec! Those breakfast cereals are loaded with GLY-O-PHATES?!? Horrible! Terrible! Poison!

Clearly, that didn’t stop Comrade Clayton from going to the store, buying a bunch of glyophate-loaded Froot Loops and then taking a picture of himself being generous by unloading that poison on the poor people! Remember that?

One wonders why a big-time rancher and farmer like Clayton Tucker (RX Ranch SDEC-24 TX) has to go to Wal-Mart and buy chemical-laden cereal shitflakes for the poor when he is the (supposed) FOUNDER and OWNER of a RANCH!! Why not just bring some of your meat or crops over there to hand out? Maybe because you are a FAKE rancher…and a FAKE farmer?

Wait – in 2020, he had goats? Why did he say they just diversified into goats last year? Why did he say he’s a farmer growing crops? Because he is a piece of shit communist liar.

One also wonders why Mister “Save the Poor American Farmer” douchebag went and bought a JAPANESE tractor? Well, his parents or grandpa did, anyways. No way he has the money for that.

We = grandpa or dad. Clayton is broke and lives with mom.

We will poke WAY more fun at this entire thing because there is even more to ridicule…coming soon.

Until then…..

Two fake ranchers, Clayton and Beto, are driving down a dirt road when they come across Penny the donkey with her head stuck in the fence.

Beto says “Man I haven’t had any pussy in months!” He jumps out of the truck Prius and just starts banging the donkey like there’s no tomorrow.

Then Beto looks over at Clayton and says “Hey, do you want any of this?” Clayton replies “Sure….but do I have to put my head in the fence?”