“Ranching can be pretty, pretty rough.” – [03:13:30 mark] Clayton Tucker, fake rancher who lives with mother at age 33 spewing laughable nonsense to a ‘crowd’ of 13 nerds at SXSW.
Well, it was totally worth sitting through about 12 minutes of nonstop buzzwords, bullshit and lies, because comrade Clayton produced copious amounts of falsehoods and contradicted many of his earlier lies in life.
As luck would have it, I had a long drive back from spring break at the exact time Comrade Clayton was “speaking” to the massive SXSW crowds!
The tl;dr version? Three nerds (Austin City council member Natasha Harper-Madison didn’t bother to show up) who have never created or produced anything in their lives (let alone food for the masses) sat on a stage with great smugness and pomposity to inform us that the government needs to steal a LOT more money from you and hand it to brown and black people so they can eat. Blah blah blah climate change, blah blah blah community empowerment, blah blah blah corporations, blah blah blah equity.
That sums it up.
Here are some great moments out of Comrade Clayton Tucker – who was a “speaker” on this panel and probably yammered for a grand total of 187 seconds over the course of the 18-minute panel.
“It’s a family ranch and I am the THIRD generation at it.” [2:59:30 mark]
Lie.
As you all know, Comrade Clayton has been claiming to be a FIFTH generation rancher for years now. See how easily the communist lies? Like taking a breath. Changing his ‘facts’ as needed. He plastered “fifth generation rancher” all over his campaign materials when he needed to convince voters he was some salt-of-the-earth rancher.
In truth, it doesn’t really matter what ‘generation’ he claims to be because the reality is that he isn’t a rancher at all. Unless a “rancher” is any human who walks around on grandpa’s property taking selfies with goats to post for idiot liberal septuagenarians to gawk at on Facebook.
“Now we are diversifying into goats, because the climate is changing and we felt that’s a little better for arid climate.” [2:59:30 mark]
Lie.
Comrade Clayton previously stated they were raising goats because the cattle industry is SO monopolized (it’s not) that they just couldn’t make it as a small family farm.
To be clear, RX Ranch is NOT failing because a 33-year-old halfwit who just started taking ranching classes four months ago is now in charge of the operation – an operation which doesn’t even have a website. No, no, no. It’s because of climate change and Big Ag.
“I do a lot of work with international trade.” – BAHAHAHAHAHA. Lie. No you don’t.
“What would do the most good? To break up Big Ag. Break up the monopolies. They are CRUSHING small farmers and ranchers.” [3:00:45 mark]
[Note: Comrade Clayton LOVES the government-run education monopoly. He is vehemently against vouchers and school choice. But he HATES monopolies in the farming and ranching industry. Government monopoly on schools: good. Monopolies on ranching: bad. Get it? Yeah, me either – he’s a moron.]
So you are being crushed? I thought you’ve been around three (or five) generations? My non-corporate friends at Winter’s Beef sure seem to be doing alright. Same with R-C Ranch here in Texas. Maybe because they are REAL ranchers who spend their time raising beef and selling it online instead of driving down to Austin to “speak” for 125 seconds in front of 13 to 15 commies to blather lies and cliches.
Say, that reminds me: how’s that website coming for your “ranch,” comrade?
Wouldn’t that kind of be an important task to complete before you go crying to the masses about how climate change and Big Ag is destroying your family ranch? Maybe actually raise some meat and sell it? Nah. Easier to join several farmers unions and cry about how unfair everything is. Even though you have no fucking idea what you’re doing and just took your first beginner ranching classes a couple months ago at age 32.
My favorite part is when Comrade Clayton tried to talk about the evils of Round-Up and fucked up the name of the main chemical in it: glyphosate. That’s GLY-PHOS-ATE, you complete mook.
Comrade Clayton calls it something else:
“Almost every cereal has glyophates [made up word] in them...that’s RoundUp…every time you eat that bowl of cereal, you are eating RoundUp…” [3:13:58 mark]
Gly-0-phates is not a word, you dunce. It’s glyphosate. Plus, the EPA (which is YOUR beloved Big Government protector) says you are wrong.
Wait a sec! Those breakfast cereals are loaded with GLY-O-PHATES?!? Horrible! Terrible! Poison!
Clearly, that didn’t stop Comrade Clayton from going to the store, buying a bunch of glyophate-loaded Froot Loops and then taking a picture of himself being generous by unloading that poison on the poor people! Remember that?
One wonders why a big-time rancher and farmer like Clayton Tucker (RX Ranch SDEC-24 TX) has to go to Wal-Mart and buy chemical-laden cereal shitflakes for the poor when he is the (supposed) FOUNDER and OWNER of a RANCH!! Why not just bring some of your meat or crops over there to hand out? Maybe because you are a FAKE rancher…and a FAKE farmer?
One also wonders why Mister “Save the Poor American Farmer” douchebag went and bought a JAPANESE tractor? Well, his parents or grandpa did, anyways. No way he has the money for that.
We will poke WAY more fun at this entire thing because there is even more to ridicule…coming soon.
Until then…..
Two fake ranchers, Clayton and Beto, are driving down a dirt road when they come across Penny the donkey with her head stuck in the fence.
Beto says “Man I haven’t had any pussy in months!” He jumps out of the truck Prius and just starts banging the donkey like there’s no tomorrow.
Then Beto looks over at Clayton and says “Hey, do you want any of this?” Clayton replies “Sure….but do I have to put my head in the fence?”
