Clayton Tucker – Page 3 – The Original Lampasshole

Should Clayton Tucker Be Charged With Sedition?

It sure looks like Clayton Tucker is spreading seditious and inciteful rhetoric on his public webpage.

***Pocahontas talking about the Constitution? You make me laugh.***

Wow. So Elizabeth Warren (a sitting Senator who took an oath to uphold the Constitution yet shits on it whenever she can) is saying that even though the Supreme Court, comprised of the finest legal minds on the planet (ha ha – except Sotomayor!) has decided the Constitutionality of this issue, she refuses to accept the outcome of a perfectly legal and fair debate?

Now where have I heard that before? Oh right…the current January 6th witch hunt and clown parade that is still going on about “refusing to accept results”.

Seems very seditious to me. Especially the ominous “we’re not going back – not EVER”. It sounds like speech that tends toward rebellion against the established order.

It also sounds like subversion of the Constitution and incitement of discontent toward, or insurrection against, established authority – which is the exact definition of sedition. Comrade Clayton Tucker is helping to spread this seditious rhetoric to his 4000 followers as a public figure. Clayton is also an admitted socialist. This means he is actively working AGAINST the U.S. Constitution at all times.

In the old days, before our great country turned pussy, seditious commie scumworms (like Clayton Tucker) were dealt with properly. Now we have ungrateful little assholes (like Clayton Tucker) publicly endorsing socialism while enjoying the benefits of a free-market, capitalist Constitutional Republic from the comfort of his mom’s upstairs bedroom.

In the past, socialist bum Clayton Tucker has been quick to smear sitting members of Congress as traitors when they weren’t:

I’m not sure what Ted Cruz actually did to warrant Clayton Tucker writing such libelous garbage on a public website. I think it was “something, something, January 6th, something something insurrection, something”.

But Ted Cruz is still in the Senate and is one of the staunchest defenders of the Constitution.

So perhaps we have a bit of projection here? Clayton Tucker is actually the one posting speech that sounds seditious to me.

Also, it is clear yet again that his parents wasted their $80,000 by sending Clayton to Southwestern University for that “International Relations” degree, because he doesn’t understand the first fucking thing about the Constitution.

The federal government has 18 enumerated powers in Article I, Section 8 of the Constitution. That’s it. They are listed HERE.

If something is NOT listed there (abortion, for example), then by the TENTH AMENDMENT: “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.“

Roe V. Wade was a shitty decision back in the 70s. They got it wrong. Abortion is a STATE ISSUE. Period. The Supreme Court now says so. The Constitution is the supreme law of the land. By joining Warren and spreading rhetoric like this, you are encouraging citizens to subvert the Constitution – a seditious act.

I’m not sure why Clayton is so up-in-arms about this anyways. You have to actually talk to a girl, then date her a bit before you can knock her up. I see no possibility of any of that in Comrade Clayton’s future.

Or, maybe as a woke liberal idiot who thinks males can get pregnant and menstruate, Clayton is worried about getting pregnant himself? Don’t worry, buddy. All your woke gender beliefs violate established science. O’Rourke can inseminate you as much as he wants with no danger of a baby.

I Challenge Socialist Bum Clayton Tucker To a Bet

Well, local socialist maggot and fake rancher Clayton Tucker of Lampasas is finally re-tweeting and yapping about his hero and fake Mexican Robert Francis O’Rourke.

He and Robert are close. Verrry close, if you know what I mean:

Anyways, I think socialist scumworm Clayton Tucker of Lampasas really thinks that Robert has a chance of becoming governor in November.

I would therefore like to offer a very public wager on this. I know that Clayton Tucker of Lampasas Texas reads here regularly, and I’d like to give him a chance to make a real return on the allowance his parents pay him every Sunday.

Here you go, Clayton: you can bet on Robert to be our next governor AND I’ll give you 4-1 odds. How does that sound? I’ll do it for as much as you can borrow from your mom and dad. Just run downstairs and ask them real quick. Deal?

Email me at lampasshole@protonmail.com, chump.

Success Has Many Faces…

To an able-bodied, 31-year-old male who is a socialist bum, lives with his parents and whose accomplishments in life could rest comfortably on an eyelash, this probably DOES look like “success”.

I guess we all have different ideas about success. You could look at this and say “wow – 12 people attending in a county of 20,000 citizens is not really very successful”.

OR you could say “wow – putting that sign that said FREE SOUP under the bridge in the homeless encampment really brought in a crowd!”. Which is what this actually looks like to me.

I’ll admit, the smaller this group gets every year, the more erect I will become.

It is pretty much how I would expect a Democratic convention to be, however:

**Bruce Haywood has REALLY thrown in the towel.**

Moocher guy who looks like he is there for free food, has crumbs in his beard and will corner you and go into a 45-minute dissertation about how there is an engine that gets 200mpg but Big Oil bought up the patent? Check.

Dummy older guy who still wears a mask thinking it will protect him because his feeble brain has been snapped by CNN propaganda? Check.

A gaggle of old ladies who are just lonely and want someone to talk to? Check.

Female to male ratio of about 3:1? Check – which backs up my beliefs that to be a Democrat you are either a chick (mostly operate on emotion as opposed to logic) or a very stupid man (see: Bruce Haywood/Clayton Tucker/Heath Bishop).

I can forgive women falling for socialist/commie crap because their brains are wired more for emotion. They usually believe in silly things like astrology, palm reading, aromatherapy, pyramid schemes and “life coaches”.

Men who fall for this shit, on the other hand, deserve every ounce of ridicule and scorn we can muster. They should know better.

**“I was told there would be free soup!”**

Congratulations, Clayton Tucker! May your convention continue to draw a dozen people for years and years to come! Let’s Go Brandon!!!

Clayton “Baby Seal” Tucker Taps Out. Will Not Run For City Council

I have to say, I’m a little disappointed. Our local socialist seal has apparently had enough clubbing for a while.

In the infamous words of Roberto Duran: “no mas!”

This is confusing to me, because just a few months ago, Tucker was talking tough about bringing his shitty, Marxist/commie nonsense to rural areas:

“We ain’t scared of no one!” No one except, of course, the hundreds of voters who would no doubt reject Comrade Clayton’s brand of bullshit for the fifth time in a row (Texas senate, Texas House 54, City council election last year PLUS his attempts to weasel onto City council by appointment AND his attempt to get onto the LEDC board recently).

After being clubbed those five times, it is no wonder his baby seal corpse will be lying motionless during this City council election.

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Clayton will be showing that “we are here and we are present” by hiding in his parents’ upstairs bedroom (where he still lives at age 31) for the duration of this City council election.

What a shame.

In more bad news, incumbent City councilman Chuck “The Vampire” Williamson will be running unopposed.

As you may recall, Chuck was stomped in his last election, but a stroke of Covid luck removed his victor (Gordon Nelson) from council and the woman who pulls his puppet strings just went ahead re-appointed him to council anyways – thus bringing him back from the dead yet again.

With nobody running against him, he will be free to sit next to TJ Monroe as her ventriloquist’s dummy for another two years. Brutal.

Final slate:

Office of Councilmember Place 3

Name: Chuck Williamson (incumbent) unopposed
Occupation: Retired
Date filed for re-election: January 19, 2022

Office of Councilmember Place 4

Name: Cathy Kuehne (incumbent)
Occupation: Teacher/Business Owner
Date filed for re-election: January 19, 2022

Name: Myles Haider
Occupation: Business Owner
Date filed: January 19, 2022

Office of Councilmember Place 5

Name: Bob Goodart (incumbent)
Occupation: Retired
Date filed for re-election: January 19, 2022

Name: Davis Keele
Occupation: Probation Officer
Date filed: February 18, 2022

Lampasas County Democratic Chairman Clayton Tucker Lies In Local Newspaper About Being Pro Second Amendment

Local socialist scumworm and Lampasas County Democratic Chairman Clayton Tucker is once again spewing lies in the local newspaper.

In today’s edition, he was busy yammering about “grassroots politics”. He stressed the importance of walking around the neighborhood and lying about his positions on things, like being pro Second Amendment.

From today’s edition:

“Tucker noted there are a lot of hunters and veterans in rural Texas. When he walks a neighborhood for a candidate, people often ask him about gun regulation laws as a test. Tucker said he assures them that he’s a firearm owner and believes that gun ownership is a matter of exercising personal responsibility.”

Actually, he avoids an outright lie by using weasel words like “he’s a firearm owner” – which tells you absolutely nothing about his position on anything. Considering he doesn’t even have his own place or a real job at age 31, I doubt he has ever bought a firearm himself. More likely it is a hand-me-down from gramps that he hides under his bed in mom and dad’s upstairs bedroom – afraid to actually shoot it.

But his history tells us that he is indeed VERY anti-Second Amendment, despite his recent lies to the contrary. All we need to do it go back to a Dispatch article from July 3rd, 2018. That article told us that Clayton was a delegate to the Democratic Party State Convention held in Fort Worth on June 21-23rd of 2018. Less than four years ago.

“The county chairwoman [Cyndy Burleson] said youth were very involved on issues that affect them directly,including gun controland the separation of families at the U.S.-Mexico border.”

“I’m very proud of them for that,” Burleson said of the local Democrats and their political involvement. Resolutions adopted at the state convention covered a variety of topics, including calls for providing paid sick leave statewide, increasing the minimum wage,banning so-called “assault weapons,” tightening background checks for gun sales online and at gun shows…”

There you have it. Less than four years ago, Clayton Tucker was a delegate to the state convention where resolutions were adopted calling for banning “assault weapons” (there is no such thing) and the usual bullshit “closing gun show loopholes” they love so much.

Sure sound like infringement to me!

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Libtards Too Dumb/Lazy To Vote Properly. Call It “Voter Suppression”

Clayton Tucker is mad, ya’ll! It’s all this “voter suppression” that’s going on!

How is it NOT voter suppression, Diego? Well, I have a few ideas how:

#1 – Liberals are very likely too stupid to fill out a form correctly. Perhaps they didn’t READ the instructions? Perhaps they can’t COMPREHEND simple directions?

I was at the DMV two weeks ago to renew my drivers license and some poor moron in front of me didn’t bring proof of U.S. citizenship, as the instructions on the website said to do. He didn’t have a passport OR a certified copy of his birth certificate. He was sent home pissed off. Was that “driver suppression”? Or was it just a garden-variety dummy who didn’t read the instructions? Go home and fix it and try again. You just learned a valuable lesson about paying attention to details.

#2 – Liberals are typically very lazy, and thus can’t be bothered to actually go to the polls, so they demand mail-in ballots that should never be handed out in the first place. Perhaps because they are all entitled half-wits who grew up getting anything they wanted by pushing a button on a smart phone app, the thought of actually standing in line for a while repulses them.

Tough shit.

Here’s an idea: if voting is as big a deal to you as you say it is, then get off your ass and go to the polls. I have voted in-person for 34 years – even with a full-time job! Seeing as how a large proportion of liberals are welfare mooches and unemployed bums (like Clayton Tucker), you really don’t have anything standing in your way, do you? Your whole day is pretty much open.

Notice they NEVER tell you the actual NUMBER of rejected ballots – just that it was “40% to 60%” of them in Travis County. Maybe there were only 1,000 applications and 400 were rejected. There is no way of knowing.

In Harris County, the number was 16% rejected out of 1,276 applications. Doesn’t sound so bad when you put it that way, does it? In fact, 16% is about the percentage of the population that is clinically retarded with an IQ under 85, if you look at a standard Bell Curve distribution:

We can clearly chalk up that 16% to pure stupidity.

Unfortunately for democrats, probably 90% of that 16% population are registered Democrats.

If you are too stupid to fill out a form properly, you are also too stupid to vote. Do us all a favor and stay out of the election altogether.

Even our local socialist (and head of the Lampasas County Democrats) Comrade Clayton Tucker has trouble filling out forms correctly! Here is his application to run for City council last year:

As you can see, Comrade Clayton wasn’t entirely sure what his OCCUPATION was. He started to write “State”-something, then scratched that out like a third-grader and settled on “political organizer”. This is very odd since he has claimed to be a rancher, a cowboy and a farmer for years now. It must have slipped his mind that he was a “rancher”, I guess.

Well, that is certainly definitive proof that he is a rancher like he claims to be. You can’t argue with the hashtag! After all, lot’s of REAL ranchers, farmers, and cowboys stop what they are doing in the middle of a mundane job like cutting wood, take out their iPhone, take photos and then put a gay hashtag on in like “#ranchlife” for their Facebook page, right?

Socialist Shitbird Clayton Tucker is Simultaneously Afraid of the Weather Being Too Hot AND Too Cold

Local socialist worm and thrice-failed political candidate Clayton Tucker has shown us he’s afraid of a lot of things over the last couple years: honest work, paying his own way, and living in his own place. But this takes the cake.

The same idiot who thinks the world is going to overheat from global warming in 10 years and kill us all (yes, Clayton, that’s what “existential” means):

…is also simultaneously petrified that we will see another once-in-100-years cold snap. He also apparently thinks a couple of dozen ill-cut logs will save him:

*Clayton forgets that it was his demand of adding unreliable solar and wind to the grid that fucked everything up in the first place*.

Lemme guess: grandpa’s land and trees, grandpa’s truck and mom’s fireplace?

Wow! Impressive! We are well into the cold part of the year and have had numerous cold snaps already and you’re posting pics TODAY of cutting a few logs. Bravo. Do mommy and daddy have a fireplace in their house (where you live upstairs) so you can burn those, or are you just going to pile them on top of yourself for warmth?

Don’t evil fireplaces spew CO2 into the air and kill all of us?? That’s what your fellow greentard morons in California tell us.

Here are the FACTS: climate-related disasters killed FAR fewer people in 2021. In fact, it was 98.7% less than a century ago:

The fact that Comrade Clayton is so scared of the grid failing tells me that the grid will be perfectly fine this winter. That is because Comrade Clayton is 100% wrong on every fucking topic he opines on:

I also thought of something else recently: Comrade Clayton lives in the upstairs bedroom at his parent’s house, right? His parents live at 208 S Western – right by the public library, City Hall AND the police station. It occurs to me that this douchebag probably never lost power at all last February! The hospitals, fire departments and POLICE STATIONS are all considered pretty important and were spared the rolling blackouts that the rest of us (like me) endured. I bet there is a pretty decent chance that his parents’ house is on the SAME power sub-grid as those others.

How about it Clayton? Did you even lose power once at mom and dad’s house? I’ll bet you A HUNDRED DOLLARS that you didn’t, you wannabe working man.

In fact, you posted tweets every single day between February 10th and February 19th! Hard to do without power, I would think. You must have had plenty of time on your hands. Shouldn’t a “rancher” be out at his “ranch” taking care of things instead of posting drivel on Twitter?

You wanna see prepared? It’s called the Rule of Threes (have a backup for your backup) – and it got me through that freak once-in-a-lifetime cold snap without harm and without crying for Ted Cruz or government help.

Unlike you, I don’t just talk about solar panels and not own any. I’ve been solar-powered for ten years:

I also have a backup generator with a massive tank:

…and when that son of a bitch genny shit the bed on day 5 at 6am in zero-degree weather due to a frozen gas regulator, I also had many cords of wood ready to go to heat the house while I thawed that bitch out:

It was fucking mayhem out here in the boondocks – things failing left and right, running around at 2am in the pitch dark freezing cold keeping shit running, keeping the animals alive, going out to manually switch over from grid to genny over and over.

Not ONCE did I think “man, I wish Senator Cruz was here to do all this for me – what a dick he is for heading down to warmer weather”. That’s because I’m not a pussy who expects The Government to take care of me. I do that shit myself. I don’t give a fuck if Cruz flies to Tahiti – what difference does it make in my life?

Do you know how sad it is that you are 31 years old and crave TWO sets of parents to take care of you? Your actual parents, who provide you with a roof over your head…and Big Government, who you want to hand you free shit for life. Grow a dick, man. Grow some balls too, while you are at it.

Man was not meant to suckle mommy’s tit through dentures.

Know what else? I paid for all this shit myself! Mom and Dad didn’t give it to me, like someone else I know.

Crazy, right?

Look At This Fucking NERD!

BAHAHAHAHAHA. I guess the Bernie Sanders splinter group has splintered even further into THIS nest of Marxist roaches:

I think if my son was excitedly jabbering in a soprano voice at a socialist rally while holding a Big Bird doll, I might just die of shame. Right after I beat some sense into him.

Our Revolution Texas is now broken down further into Our Revolution North Texas. Not sure why local doughboy Comrade Clayton is shilling for these fellow dorks because according to him, he is leaving Our Revolution Texas to go and “organize” with a new group of shithead commies called “TradeJusticeEd”.

“Organize” is Tucker-speak for “loaf around chanting slogans and continuing to live off of my parents at their house at 208 South Western in Lampasas”.

Comrade Clayton wants SO BADLY to be this guy:

“I’m a rancher! I’m a farmer! I’m a cowboy!”. Yeah, you’re a cowboy like George Bush was a cowboy. Only without the connections, money and family name. Oh, and without your own apartment.

The sad reality is THIS little guy with the fupa:

Hey man! Save some chicks for the rest of us!

Look Comrade Clayton, I get why you are angrily yelling and demanding free shit all the time. Every Dad who finds out he’s having a boy gets excited about the idea of throwing the ball around in the backyard, teaching him how to tie a tie, and giving him advice on girls. Then you came along and were a constant source of disappointment to your old man, which left you angry and bitter.

The old man better forget about grandkids too, unless Robert Francis O’Rourke figures out a way to impregnate your rectum.

Will this socialist roach make another run at City council in a few months? Please god, let it happen.

P.S. – the more all of you Google “Clayton Tucker Lampasas Texas” and click on any Lampasshole search results, the higher Comrade Clayton Tucker of Lampasas Texas climbs on the results list. That means more time and money Comrade Clayton Tucker of Lampasas Texas has to spend scrubbing all these blog posts demonstrating what a fuckup he is.

Entitled Millennial Fake Rancher Freaks Out Over Not Having Internet For 30 Minutes

We had a five-alarm emergency today in the Tucker household! The Internet apparently went down for a little bit and Clayton Tucker couldn’t Google himself or “like” any Bernie Sanders tweets during this timeframe.

He was NOT happy:

This is what you do when you are an entitled and spoiled child. You stomp your feet and start a petition over the supposedly shitty rural Lampasas Internet. He probably starts a petition when the lightbulb in his room burns out too.

Just kidding – we all know he yells downstairs to Mom to have her fix it.

I got news for you, Comrade Clayton: the Internet was “down” from the day I was born all the way up until I was about 28 years old. And THEN, we had five years of dial-up dogshit that took 4 hours to download some decent porn, but we were GRATEFUL we even had that! I even figured out how to register to vote in 1988 WITHOUT the Internet.

Amazing, I know.

Only it wasn’t Lampasas at fault for this horrific and life-threatening incident. It was Google.

Oops. But Clayton Tucker doesn’t let trifles like facts get in the way of his caterwauling. OR his fundraising! After you sign the petition, you are directed to donate money to the Lampasas County ~~Socialists~~ Democrats.

Several people signed, but I don’t think they were truly onboard with Clayton Tucker’s Internet improvement mission. I think some of these might be fake?

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I guess some of the suggestions spilled over to the other initiatives Tucker is spearheading. Like getting Lampasas a “bark park” and “fixing” the grid:

Hey, I have an idea! Why don’t you just pack up all your shit and move to Austin? I hear they have TONS of “bark parks” and the Internet is blazing fast there. You can watch Ilhan Omar C-SPAN videos in HD 4k resolution all day long. I’ll even PAY for your entire move!

All you gotta do now is convince old mom and dad to buy a condo there so you can keep living the life of a sponge!

What Do You Give To The Kid Who Already Demands Everything For Free?

It’s tough to shop for a socialist weasel like Lampasas County Chairman Clayton Tucker. But I think I found something that will look nice on his tree. Or rather, his parents’ tree – since he still lives in the upstairs room at mom and dad’s house at 208 S. Western Street here in Lampasas:

I know Clayton Tucker (an avowed socialist and lover of foreign traitors) is partial to Ramadan and other Muslim nonsense….

……but the least he can do is walk downstairs from his parents’ upstairs bedroom where he lives and put an ornament on the tree. Right comrade??

There actually was a very long list of potential Christmas presents I could have gotten for Comrade Clayton. Things he needs badly:

A job

A history book about the dangers of socialism and communism

A gym membership

A dictionary

A clue