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Wait, I Know The Solution To This One!

The fake farmer with zero employees is worried there will be no cheap slave labor from Guatemala to pick the non-existent crops on his fake farm!

Ah. So these farmers have a labor shortage? I seem to remember someone spouting a solution to that not too long ago. Who was it? Hmmmm.

Oh yeah…

Just tell your farmer buddies to pay a “decent” and “livable” wage with better benefits like you have been blabbering about for months every time you repeat your “FDR second bill of rights” nonsense on your “speaking tour.”

In Donna, Texas (where this story took place), about 35% of the population lives below the poverty line. So just pay them more, right? That IS what you said less than two years ago.

Personally, I don’t care if there is no one to pick the okra, tomatoes and lettuce. I don’t eat that shit anyways. Here is last night’s dinner:

I’ve got another one of those fuckers in the fridge ready to go on the smoker tonight. All praise M&M Butcher!!!

Biggest waste of farmland is growing shitty lettuce and leafy greens. Give me more beef, pork, and chicken.

The U.S. has MILLIONS of 20-something and 30-something losers sitting around mooching off of mom and dad with no real job. They can go pick the vegetables after the greedy farmers pay a “decent” and “livable” wage. Cutting off all the welfare to the able-bodied would be a good start.

Look, I found one already!

It’s Official: Socialist Clayton Tucker Running For Ag Commissioner. Admits He Will Run As A Freeloader, Like He Does Everything Else.

Well, it was finally made official on today’s Commie Caucus Zoom meeting. Comrade Clayton is running for Ag Commissioner. This is no secret to readers of this blog, since I figured it out EXACTLY a year ago to the day.

Of course, he IMMEDIATELY threw in some caveats about his candidacy that should surprise nobody. After all, he is a socialist and belongs to the hivemind. Here are his Big Three Rules:

Comrade Clayton, who has already run THREE failed campaigns, is going to show them how it’s done. LOL!!!

“No more fearing of being a progressive populist” – in other words, be a loud and proud socialist. Demand free shit and ridiculous ‘rights’ like the ‘right’ to a good job and a decent wage, the ‘right’ to medical care, the ‘right’ to free education and the ‘right’ to decent housing.

Clayton tells you DON’T be ashamed to be a parasite and grifter. Any real man is horrified by this thought, but for Comrade Clayton being a parasite is a normal bodily function.

He is VERY big on quoting FDR’s ‘Second Bill Of Rights.‘ FDR, like every other Marxist, was a deadbeat, loser and failure who came from money and never succeeded in the private sector. Much like Comrade Clayton himself.

“No more running as individuals and not as a slate” – this is the big one. This encapsulates Clayton’s entire life:fear of striking out on your own and making your own mark, because you know you are an incompetent fuckup. You can see this when he writes about the “family ranch.” It’s always “we” did this and “we” lost a bunch of goats to coyotes. It’s NEVER “I” got a bunch of animals killed or “I” decided to foolishly switch from cattle to goats. It’s also why he still lives with mom at age 34.

This way he can wash his hands of the inevitable failure of his ranch, his candidacy and, let’s face it, his entire life. When everything is “we” you can point the finger elsewhere if shit blows up and avoid any responsibility. And as we know, Comrade Clayton avoids responsibility like the plague.

What this tells me is he just plans on sticking his name on the “slate” of candidates and riding the coattails of whoever is running for governor. James Talarico? Collin Allred? Robert O’Rourke? Clayton has already kissed the tar star of several of those guys. He is clearly planning on letting them do the heavy lifting (and money spending) while he gets a free ride further down the ticket.

Victory has a thousand fathers, but failure is an orphan, right Comrade??

“No more relying on TV ads & other measures that don’t work” – unsurprisingly, this strategy benefits Comrade Clayton, because he doesn’t have the money, looks or charm to do TV commercials. He prefers to sit in mom’s house and tweet lies about his ranching history and water researcher abilities. That will be the extent of his efforts to get elected. That and driving all over the state with his tongue up the ass of Ken Doll Scudder, the state chair.

I can tell you right now that whoever is running for governor on the communist ticket over there most definitely WILL spent shit tons of money on TV ads the second the polls show them getting their asses kicked next fall. So forget all about that one, Comrade!

Oh, there was another big embarrassment over there at the commie caucus today at the last second: after bragging for weeks that noodle-armed megapussy and recently-fired moron David Hogg was going to join the Zoom call, he cancelled with “illness” at the last second. LOL.

I guess that’s what happens when you drink a few quarts of jizz the night before. Right Comrade???

**Yeah. Postponed until “never” BAHAHAHAHAHA. Idiots.**

Kid Who Stiffed LISD On School Lunch Debt (Then Lied About It) Doesn’t Want Kids To Go Hungry.

Texas Ag Commissioner candidate Clayton Tucker of Lampasas (who has no children and never will) wants you to know (on his website) that kids should NEVER go hungry.

According to the kid who pays no property taxes, taxpayers need to cough up as much dough as needed to feed other people’s kids – even as childhood obesity rates in our state exceed 20% and millions of illegals have their hands out for ‘free’ stuff.

This is amusing, because eight months ago, Clayton Tucker HIMSELF had a chance to pay down some local school lunch debt. He declined to do so but not before FIRST lying about the Lampasas ISD “refusing to accept” the check:

Clayton Tucker Claims He Tried To Get The Lampasas Democrat Party To Pay Off Public School Lunch Debt…But LISD Declined.

Socialist Chairman Of Lampasas Democrat Party Clayton Tucker Caught Lying About School Lunch Donations.

Another School Official Confirms: Lampasas Democrat Party Never Tried To Make School Lunch Debt Donation. I Challenge Him To Action.

Socialist Semen Sipper Who Lied About Trying To Pay Off $7,000 School Lunch Debt Now Offering To Match Up To $10,000 Donations To Texas Commie Caucus!

If that isn’t bad enough, Clayton Tucker claims (falsely) to be a “fifth-generation rancher” in charge of the “family ranch.” But he has not donated OR sold so much as a SINGLE hamburger patty to the local school kids. In fact, a REAL rancher (Barnard Cattle) had to step up and do that!

Pathetic.

Note to long-time readers:

Comrade Clayton will be announcing his candidacy today. He will be running for STATEWIDE office. That means every person reading these Clayton Tucker information pieces I post would be helping the cause if they forwarded articles like these to friends and family who live OUTSIDE Lampasas. Every single fact I post about local socialist Clayton Tucker is meticulously researched and backed up with mountains of evidence. I’ve spent over FIVE years recording his lies and socialist antics in anticipation of this event. Clueless commie nitwits who live with mom CANNOT be allowed to hold office in the Great State of Texas.

I don’t get paid for this. I don’t do this for money or fame or anything else, obviously. There is none to be had. I do this because I absolutely despise socialism, hypocrites and scumbag liars. Clayton Tucker is all three. I refuse to rest if there is even a .00001% chance this wormy sack of shit gets elected. Take nothing for granted. Look at AOC and Greg Casar. They are both even dumber than Comrade Clayton and they weaseled their way in.

Book Review: Clayton Tucker’s Sci-Fi Disaster “Mandated Happiness.”

Spoiler: it’s a piece of shit. A poorly-constructed, horribly-written turd with a nonsensical plot and cliche technology that sound like something an 8-year-old would dream up. This gives us a very good look into the tiny mind of a nitwit socialist, actually: it’s frighteningly simplistic and poorly thought out, much like his political ideology, understanding of economics, energy policy, ranching operation and living arrangements.

Since Comrade Clayton is running for statewide office, I figured I’d waste $3 and buy his sci-fi abortion off Amazon for Kindle. There is no way I’ll ever waste hours of my life reading this drivel from start to finish, so I used keywords in a search to try and find some ridiculous stuff. I was not disappointed! Here’s very weird snippet….

The next few exhibits hosted other strange creatures: ranging from a herd of Squirrelards—body of a lizard with a head and tail of a squirrel, to a giant sloth whose DNA was spliced with marijuana—thus making it perpetually high off its own DNA. At the final exhibit stood a creature that appeared to be a cross between a bear and a Russian man, commonly called Butin. Kat and Rick knew of this creature, for it was notorious for its aggression. Every time it took a piss, it annexed whatever it pissed on—whether it be a piece of land or even someone’s leg. (page 63)

Even back in 2018, Comrade Clayton was (indirectly and lamely) whining and whimpering about Putin! Amazing. Not to mention that entire paragraph makes no sense as a viable possibility in the physical world.

Here is a brain-splittingly bad piece of action from Mandated Happiness:

Violet had a better idea! She would cut off her own hand, throw it at Rick, then he panic and crash and explode! And rain blood maybe! Problem was, she didn’t have a knife! But that was okay because she had teeth and she knew how to use them! So she chewed off her left hand, got close to Rick, then, with her hand in hand, she threw it at Rick! Or at least she tried, for it turned out you really need a hand on the controls at all times! She crashed! And died! And exploded! And rained blood! Or gasoline! It’s hard to tell the difference with a swollen brain! Meanwhile, two other random tankers exploded! Why?! No one cared! Kat must kill Winston! Since her name was Kat, she must become a cat, and claw him to death! With her human fingers! She neared him and leaped from her bike toward him like a cat pouncing a stupid mouse! Turned out, she stupid one ‘cause she missed, horribly! She dead! Winston laughed! Laughed so much he crashed and died like idiot! Only Rick and Jade left! (page 125)

What a piece of shit, you say? Missing words and sentences that make no sense, you say? I agree. My 10-year-old writes better and with far less exclamation points. But remember, this ‘book’ was destined to be ‘published’ – as long as he had some extra money laying around.

Let’s look at one last excerpt. A screed where Comrade Clayton rants about his distorted and totally backwards understanding of “freedom” and “rights”:

They were, in essence, freedom-talking fascists; while they spoke of liberty and freedom, they only meant their own freedom to steal liberty from other people. They wanted the “liberty” to not only have their own opinions, but also their own facts. They wanted the “right” to steal rights away. They wanted the “empowerment” to steal the power of the people. Their talk of “freedom” was a sham. In the middle of town were gallows. From them hung the bodies of those deemed undesirable—anyone who spoke out against them, anyone who was gay, lesbian, or queer, anyone who was anything other than white, and such. On each body, a swastika was carved into their flesh. Rick bit his lip to hold back the rage. How he hated freedom-talking fascists.

Wow. He was jabbering about and mislabeling “fascists” a LONG time ago! This was likely written back around 2017 or so, long before the current fad of labeling everything fascist or nazi. So he is good and truly brainwashed now.

Clayton Tucker grew up in a normal household with two seemingly-normal parents who doted on him as an only child in Central Texas, a red state. I wonder what twisted him into the envious, angry communist freak he is today. I’d have to guess it was college and some commie professor that did it. Most likely his Berkeley-educated poli sci professor Alisa Gaunder who he probably had some crush on and wanted to please and who he jacked off too when he went home to mom after class every week in Georgetown.

Sad little boy.

The City Paid Over $6,000 EACH For These Turds. Total Ripoff.

If you haven’t noticed (and I didn’t until I read about it in the newspaper and started looking for them) these things are planted in weird spots up and down Key Avenue. In some cases, not much more than a couple hundred feet apart, for some reason…

I’ll be honest, those dark colors blend right in to the dark green landscape behind it and I never even noticed them until I was looking for them. Also, it’s the year 2025 and every single person has a smartphone and Google maps, so these signs are superfluous to begin with. I could probably say the same about the Chamber of Commerce, too.

They dreamed this nonsense up back in 2021/2022, when ALL the stupid projects were hatched, because Misti Talbert, TJ Monroe and the other profligate chimps were absolutely DROWNING in ‘free’ Covid money:

I figured for the six-figure prices they were throwing around, these things would be carved out of wood and gold, or something. But no, they look pretty flimsy to me. Not much different than a stop sign or other road sign.

In fact, the POLES holding them up look more expensive than the signs themselves.

So now that they’ve blown through millions in Covid money, finished up this ridiculous sign project and the Hostess House debacle is almost done wasting $2.4 million, do you think maybe city council can just NOT blow shit tons of money on a stupid project for maybe a year or two? Is that possible? Maybe take a break for a while? Thanks.

Remember THIS one, which was supposed to “bring in the tourists” to the downtown area? LOL.

Poor Mandy. Looking back, she was BY FAR the best “Economic Developer” the City ever had. The problem is the entire position is a useless wild goose chase for whoever holds the title. It’s a no-win position. At least Mandy actually cared about the city. The last few birds were just looking for a paycheck and their next rung up the government paycheck ladder.

Fourth Of July Protest For Unemployed, America-Hating Commie Retards.

Oh wait, you have to do ANOTHER one?

So the first one didn’t work? Weird, because if you were ACTUALLY living under all this “tyranny” you speak of, you WOULDN’T be allowed to have all these protests, you imbeciles.

Don’t forget who the REAL tyrants were a few years ago: authoritarian assholes like Clayton Tucker himself and his supporters like Stephanie Fitzharris:

I, for one, look forward to the next “peaceful protests” because they always devolve into commie, manbun-sporting pussies like this getting hit in the eye with rubber bullets after they “peacefully” throw chunks of concrete and bricks at federal law enforcement:

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I hope that eyeball gets enucleated. Hippie clown.

It occurs to me that a REAL rancher would be pushing tons of hamburgers and steaks right now as the big 4th of July holiday approaches.

But Clayton Tucker is NOT a real rancher. He is an unemployed, America-hating communist who would rather run around pointlessly chanting with signs than appreciate the fact that he lives in the greatest country in the world.

He is a FAKE rancher who puts hats on goats, lets coyotes feast on his pets, protests imaginary tyranny and then uses Beto O’Rourke’s cock as a bike seat in his spare time.

Captain Goatwanker To The Rescue! Clueless Nitwit Crusader To Save Poor Town From Billionaire Water Thieves!!

Back from vacation. Time to club a socialist baby seal for a few days.

Imagine for a moment there is a slightly retarded high school boy who lives with his mother in Ozona Texas (population 2,500). Imagine that one day, he reads about how shitty the water is in Lampasas, a town 185 miles away from him. A town he has never been to and where he knows nobody. A town where he has absolutely ZERO connections and didn’t even know about until he read a newspaper article. He reads that the entire town is angry and up in arms and have been bitching about the bad water for a long time now.

Now further imagine that ten years earlier, when he was a 1st grader, he did a “science project” about water. It was childish and involved straws and cups and filters and shit and it didn’t really prove or solve anything, but the teacher gave him a pat on the head. Unfortunately, the slightly retarded boy now goes around telling everyone he is a “water researcher” and he thinks he has special powers or knowledge.

Pimply college dork was a “water researcher” for 41 days in China 13 years ago. Right before he failed to get into grad school.

Now, imagine that after reading about the Lampasas water problem, he jumps into his tiny little effeminate blue hybrid “truck” and drives ALLLL the way to Lampasas to attend a town hall where there are already hundreds of people letting their voices be heard because they are the ones who have to live with this shit. Then he stands in the back for a while picking his chub. Then he drives ALLLLL the way back home and gets on social media to brag about how he is fighting for the people.

Sounds insane, right? That slightly retarded high school boy with NO skills or knowledge about water and ZERO connections to Lampasas is completely wasting his own time and everyone else’s by getting in the way over an issue that is best handled by the people who live there, own property there and have a vested interest there. Not to mention, the ENTIRE town is already on the same side. It’s pretty cut and dried, as far as the “good guys” and the “bad guys” goes. It doesn’t matter if there are 500 angry citizens or 501. It makes ABSOLUTELY NO DIFFERENCE.

Well, if you replace “slightly retarded high school student” with “Clayton Tucker” and you replaced “Lampasas” with “Palestine,” then you will see I just EXACTLY described what our local socialist goatwanker did and then bragged about on his shitty substack! LOL.

This moron wasted over SIX HOURS just driving back and forth to stand in a crowd of 200 people and act like he was making a difference.

I GUARANTEE you there is more to this story than “evil rich guy stealing all the water.”

They were all like “Oh my god!! Evil billionaires are trying to steal our water! We are all helpless and stupid! PLEASE, Captain Goatwanker from Lampasas! Save us!!” So I “packed my bag,” put on my rainbow cape and jumped into the Baby Seal Mobile as fast as I could. Then drove three hours to stand in a room at the back and… (checks notes) DID NOTHING!!

The same kid who is failing as a rancher because he has “no time” to feed a guard dog or eliminate coyotes, has 8 or 9 hours to waste on retardation like this. Talk about spinning your wheels!

Funny, this asshole (who is chairman of the LAMPASAS Democrat party) has not made a single PEEP about the quarry train OR the shitty water RIGHT HERE in his own town! No, he’s too busy trying to “look important” for his upcoming run for Texas Ag Commissioner.

More like “Texas FAG Commissioner,” ammi right? Rim shot!

Oh, and he did it all over again last night when he drove to a Grandy’s restaurant in Sherman, TX to “speak” to a few lonely old ladies and bearded commie morons. A meeting where only TWO people RSVPd. LOL.

Of course, this is all useless and empty theater for his BIG announcement tomorrow – that he is running for Ag Commissioner in Texas. Something I figured out a year ago and put on my Clayton Tucker Bingo Card back in December….

He needs to pretend to the idiot masses that he is a manchild of action and has plans to fix all the water problems, farming problems and dozens of other problems. Of course, he lives with his mom and has thus not even solved the FIRST problem in his life: being self-sufficient!

Yes, this is a HUGE weekend for the envious little commie: Ag Commissioner announcement tomorrow, Bernie Sanders rally in Dallas on Sunday and then a big “happy hour” with hundreds of other commie clowns that night!

No time to feed guard dogs or shoot coyotes, man. Too busy promoting envy and communism day and night.

So Did They Win?

I was busy mowing the lawn on my sprawling compound then having some ice cold vodka drinks and watching U.S. Open Golf with my feet up in my recliner while my beautiful wife cooked an amazing dinner.

Did the chanting hippies get their way and convince Trump to resign and “stop being a king,” lol?

Oh, they didn’t? OK then. Guess they’re all back at their shitty apartments with their cats now?

That’s nice.

I Have To Laugh At The DummyKraut.

Holy shit, lady. Can you be more deluded and insane??

You mean you’re afraid we’ll use the playbook the shitlibs, FBI and Capitol Police used on Jan 6th? The Saul Alinsky commie shitbird playbook? Don’t worry about that. You know why? Two reasons:

#1 – people on my side worked all week. They are the people with jobs and small businesses. They just got done busting ass for 50 or 60 hours. Many of them also work on the weekends, if they own a small business. The LAST thing they want to do is go mingle with a bunch of smelly hippie morons, flaming homos and blue-haired fat bitches chanting retarded slogans that make no sense.

If they AREN’T working today, then they want to relax on their sweet boat or at their lake house – the things they earned from hard work and which losers like Clayton Tucker and Cade Hilgenberg envy and try to steal. So don’t worry. Nobody gives a fuck about your ridiculous and useless chanting and sign waving.

#2 – the name “No Kings” might be THE GAYEST and most unappealing name ever given to a “movement.” Nobody in their right mind wants to be caught dead partaking in such faggotry. Not even to “trick you into violence.”

How gay is the “No Kings” movement?

Gay enough to get Stephanie Fitzharris’s buddy Garry “The Fairy” Brown leaking jizz into his rainbow speedos!

“While you still can!” LOL. Yeah, Trump is going to ban speech any day now, you total clown.

If you had a grown man eating a candy bar out of another grown man’s asshole, it would not be as gay as the “No Kings” stupidity. THAT is how gay and retarded it all is.

All the normal people are like “I think I’ll mow my lawn today and take a dip in my pool because the streets will be clogged with gay commie losers today” and all the deluded losers and failures are the ones putting on their paper crowns right now to go march around and circle jerk each other off in the streets of Austin.

Don’t worry about any “fake violence.” The antifa-ggots on your side will take care of all that. We’re gonna be home not even thinking about this useless, idiotic ‘revolution’ you have invented.

The Left Can’t Meme.

Oh my god. It really IS true. The shitlibs are just terrible at memes…

Besides looking like a 5-year-old drew it, this thing makes zero sense. Like, does Comrade Clayton REALLY think Trump is somehow reaching into my pocket and taking my money? Does Comrade Clayton think that I think that? I’m confused. Trump was a multi-billionaire long before he ran for president. You DO know that, right? He also doesn’t take the $400,000 per year salary he is entitled to as president. Something that your buddies Obama and Biden can’t say.

Trump isn’t stealing my money – Big Government and their USAID and NGO non-profit scammers are. In fact, they are stealing so much money that DOGE found countless instances of it very easily…which shitlibs like Clayton Tucker cried about non-stop and which shitlib judges tried to end:

When you are a failure and a pussy who lives with mom, don’t have a real job and don’t pay any real taxes, then you don’t CARE how much money left-wing scumbags steal from the taxpayer because (1) it’s not your money and (2) it helps your shitlib causes.

Those of us on the right ARE tired of being stolen from to fund far-left shitlib scams like USAID and Green New Deal grifts.

Oh, and it’s not IMMIGRANTS we’re mad at – it’s the ILLEGAL INVADERS. The ones who cost taxpayers $150 billion per year, you idiot.

But other than being drawn like shit, making no sense, not being funny and being factually incorrect, it’s a really great meme, Comrade Clayton!!