THEN I heard they had to pump a pint of semen out of his stomach because he fellated twelve sailors the same night!!
His misfortune continued the next day when he consumed some Pop Rocks candy with a can of coke – causing his stomach to explode.
Any of these stories ringing a bell? If you’re over the age of 45, they should. Back in the late 1970s and early 80s, we didn’t have Internet rumors and memes. We had Urban Legends.
One of the most famous was Richard Gere sticking a gerbil up his ass and going to the hospital after it got jammed in there. I probably heard this one in 6th grade or so – which would have been around 1981 or 1982.
We kids never read this gerbil stuff in a newspaper. We didn’t see it on TV. Everybody just knew it – so it must be true. I grew up in a small town in south Florida – far away from Hollywood. But I knew the story. So did my cousins in Connecticut, 1500 miles away. We all just KNEW it was true.
[Rumor has it that Sylvester Stallon was behind the whole gerbil thing]
The pint of semen rumor was Rod Stewart and the stomach exploding was the kid “Mikey” from the LIFE cereal commercials. All bullshit, of course. But even moron adults believed the Pop Rocks one and the candy maker had to issue press releases and calm parents down over the whole thing.
I bring all this up because there is an extremely retarded rumor flying around social media about data centers causing stillbirths in cows. Compulsive liar Clayton Tucker has repeated this idiocy over and over at town halls, with ZERO evidence to back it up.
Tucker makes up lies about stillbirths in cows
Of course, Clayton said “he talked to a guy in Dallas” but the social media rumors say Abeliene – so he didn’t even get the town right, as they are 180 miles away from each other.
What shocks me is that 95% of the idiots commenting on social media ACTUALLY BELIEVE this nonsense even though the name of the farmer, the ranch or the data center is NEVER mentioned. Those are important pieces of information. Not to mention, we DO have a legal system that would allow the “rancher” to sue for damages if he could prove any of this.
Panicky retardation like this accompanies almost ALL new technology throughout history. They used to say the same thing about cell towers – but I don’t see Clayton Tucker repeating THAT bullshit as he spends 90% of his day on his iPhone posting social media garbage to his 12 social media sites!
Wow – almost like they took the EXACT same complaints from 30 years ago and applied it to the new bogeyman: data centers! Never mind we have had hundreds of data centers in Texas for about 30 years now. Never mind that nobody seems to know the name of this mystery rancher. Clayton repeats this lie as if he knows the fabricated, fake rancher guy personally!
Just remember: Clayton the Gerbil Stuffer has been caught lying at OVER 30 times by me.
All his other dire predictions (global warming, running out of water by 2020, kids dying of Covid, etc) have also failed to come true. That’s because he is a dishonest, gerbil-stuffing, semen-guzzling, socialist moron.