Our local socialist bum and self-proclaimed “fifth-generation rancher” (LOL!) shared some information about his grampa’s ranch recently!
On a personal note, you may find some joy in my latest ranch adventures. I bought my very first donkey this year, a real sweetheart named Penny (she is indeed a true TX Democrat!). I got her to protect our goats–of which we now have several, as I work to build up my family’s ranch. As it turns out, Penny arrived pregnant, so she was a two-for-one special! We named her baby boy Peso.
She’s a true Democrat? Why do you say that? Does she sleep til noon and then steal the food of the other animals who worked all day? The sad thing is she’s the closest thing to a girlfriend you will ever have…but something tells me you’ll be far more interested in her male offspring.
So after five generations of ranchers (or about 130 years), five generations of Tuckers have managed to amass a single donkey and you have “several” goats?
Impressive.
But why would you need to “build up” a ranch that has been in operation for 130 years, according to you? You are about to turn 32 years old. What the hell have you been doing for the last 10 years?
It also means, once again, that I TOO am a rancher and I didn’t even know it! I also had “several goats” and a donkey for about 4 or 5 years. I managed to accomplish that with two phone calls in the course of a week. But I hear you Tuckers are a little slow.
The other hole in his “fifth generation rancher” bullshit story is that he has said on a few occasions that his dad owned an auto parts store. I guess he was one of those “virtual ranchers” as well. Or maybe he shoveled shit once, which makes you a rancher in Clayton’s book.
Say, that reminds me….
Two fake ranchers, Clayton and Beto, are driving down a dirt road when they come across Penny the donkey with her head stuck in the fence.
Beto says “Man I haven’t had any pussy in months!” He jumps out of the truck Prius and just starts banging the donkey like there’s no tomorrow.
Then Beto looks over at Clayton and says “Hey, do you want any of this?” Clayton replies “Sure….but do I have to put my head in the fence?”