Tag: greedy ranchers

Cattle Futures Hit New Highs. Must Be Those Greedy Fake Ranchers Like Clayton Tucker.

Cattle futures in Chicago surged to fresh record highs on Friday. Must be those greedy, greedy ranchers like Clayton Tucker.

Just kidding. Clayton himself said he decided to focus on goats because global warming is about to make the whole planet more arid and goats do better in arid, shitty conditions.

(Is that the same global warming that made the artic ice grow 26% in the last 12 years?)

No seriously, he really did say that [2:59:30 mark]

I have marked a red line on the exact moment Professor Tucker the Genius Fifth-Generation Rancher decided to go into goats. It was basically just before cattle prices went into the stratosphere.

Then again, he has claimed that they were “always a cattle family,” too. Well, except for his dad, who was an aeronautical engineer. And his mom, who worked for the government. But SOMEWHERE down the line were some cotton-picking, squirrel-shooting ranchers – you can take that to the bank!

He can’t blame Big Ag for this one because the Live Cattle futures contract at the CME is about a pure free-market as you get. Anyone can buy or sell futures based on their own opinions. Even Hillary Clinton!

In the end, it all comes down to supply and demand – and greedy fake ranchers like Clayton Tucker have been selfishly shrinking their herds to artificially jack up prices for consumers, obviously! Talk about GREEDY!!!

Then again, given how many animals Clayton tends to kill before they are fully grown, this might just be a case of gross incompetence instead of greed.

Greedy Ranchers Like Clayton Tucker Are Price Gouging Americans With Record High Beef Prices.

Beef prices skyrocketed to a new record high this past Memorial Day weekend as industry experts warn costs could continue to rise even higher if current regulatory and economic conditions remain unchanged.

Recently released data shows that “all fresh beef retail value,” a composite value based on choice beef, other beef, and hamburger retail prices,shot up to $794.90 in April, according to the Economic Research Council, the highest price on record.

Further, the price of uncooked ground beef, beef roasts, beef steaks, and veal have all continued to rise in price—between .03 and 1.5 percent—from March’s record high numbers, according to this month’s Consumer Price Index.

The cause and the solution are both clear: greedy ranchers like Clayton Tucker are price gouging decent, hard-working Americans. I saw FOUR VEHICLES parked in the Tucker driveway recently! Not to mention the fancy antique truck they have…which was purchased, no doubt, with their ill-gotten gains from price gouging poor Americans who just want a hamburger.

It’s bad enough they purchased a vanity truck that they don’t really need. But they are actually going to PRICE GOUGE some more if you want to get your picture take with it! This is disgusting and unbridled capitalism that needs to be controlled and reigned in.

This cannot be allowed to stand. It is time for greedy ranchers like Clayton Tucker to pay their fair share!!! We must immediately levy a 20% “windfall” tax upon these greedy ranchers so that the poor can pay for healthcare and all the heart disease they are getting from Clayton Tucker’s RX Ranch’s evil and unhealthy red meat.

Shame on the Tucker family and on their RX Ranch for price gouging decent, hardworking Americans in these troubled economic times.

P.S. – also, Clayton Tucker’s cows/goats are ruining the planet. They are causing the seas to boil and will kill everyone in a few years when the sea level rises 10 feet, thus drowning us all. The Tucker animals should be culled immediately to prevent this disaster. Clearly the Tucker ranch does not give one shit about the planet.

War on cow gas is stinky but necessary job in climate-change struggle

Cow farts are bad for Earth, but cow burps are worse.

Scientists Underestimated How Bad Cow Farts Are