From coyotes to VultureBuzzards (TM) to parasites, local fake rancher and serial goat killer Clayton Tucker is always finding new and inventive ways to end the lives of his poor goats.
Yesterday he went for straight-up negligence and was maybe also trying for “hit by a car.”
Of course, he would never ADMIT to straight-up negligence, so he blamed the well-known nefarious KIDnapping (get it??) cartels that everyone knows operate in our area….
[Yes – the clown who demands that healthcare be “free” and college be “free” has the temerity to call them HIS goats. Perhaps there was a fellow socialist in the area and he wanted a “free” goat! Who are you to deny him that?? To each according to his need, right? Of course, Clayton Tucker the socialist does not like having HIS property taken. How ironic!]
Yes, by all means – let’s get the police involved. The same police that radical lefties like Clayton Tucker were screaming to defund just four short years ago! I’m sure they have nothing better to do than deal with your dwarf goats.
The dwarf goats are a new part of his “ranching” operation. His business model is:
#1 – take pictures with cute baby goats (or new dwarf goats)
#2 – Post on Facebook
#3 – let quasi-retarded lonely old liberal cat ladies comment on how cute they are with heart emojis and rainbows.
Unfortunately, there is no “collect money and profit” step to his model, which is why he still lives with mom.
Anyways, the goats were found running around loose by none other than our intrepid City IT person – Acevedo! I guess nobody stole them after all! Tucker was just engaging in the favorite pastime of Lampassholes everywhere by losing his pet and then asking Facebook if anyone has seen them.
Why did Comrade Clayton even have these goats in town anyways? Does he shuttle them between grandma’s ranch and mom’s house where he splits his time? Does he “chestfeed” them every few hours like Pete Buttigieg?
I love how Acevedo casually throws in that they were “skin and bones” and “crying constantly.” Zing! That’s a roundabout way of saying “are you abusing these poor goats, you moron?!?”
I wonder how long the panicked dummy socialist ran around his mom’s house and the library next door looking for these poor goats before he decided that they MUST have been stolen. LOL. No WAY this was his fault. He’s a “fifth-generation” rancher, don’t ya know??
Will somebody PLEASE stage an intervention with serial goat killer Clayton Tucker?? He reminds me of these women in dirt-poor, impoverished African countries who keep having babies only to watch them die of starvation at 9 months old. Then they do it over and over again – with the same result.
As one of my favorite comedians said about those African women:
“How much of a sociopath do you need to be? That is the slow ritual torture-murder of children goats, one after another! At what point does cause-and-effect not kick in? How many bulb-headed skeletons have to go stiff in your arms?! … ‘what? this one’s not working… oh, well let’s try again’, one after another. At what point do you not go ‘I think this is bad’? … How many kids are you going to fuckin’ kill, lady Clayton? … If you impregnate someone under those conditions, they should abort the parents! That’s sick!”