“Mock The Socialist” Week Continues

You know who goes on fasts and posts about it?

Chicks.

Insecure, 14-year-old ones with eating disorders, mostly….

Also, only a young chick would need an app to tell her to start at 9pm and end at 9pm the next day.

Wow…an 18 hour fast every day of the week? Impressive. Then again, it is easy not to eat when you don’t have a job or anything else to do so you can sleep til noon and then just sit around at Mom’s house all day on your laptop.

[Not to mention: it’s all bullshit like many pseudoscientific fads that chicks believe in like gluten-free diets, fibromyalgia, long-Covid, palm reading, wearing masks to stop Covid, etc.]

I do a 15 hour fast every fucking night between dinner and breakfast the next morning, now that I think about it. So you basically eat a late breakfast and early dinner. But it sounds so much better to call it a “fast” and put it on an app. Just more evidence of the most pussified generation ever: patting yourself on the back for cramming all your meals into six hours.

Millennial pussies: never have lives less-lived been more-documented.

You know who does a lot of fasting? Every citizen in every country ruined by socialism. I hear the starving Venezuelans fasted so much they ended up eating zoo animals.

What’s next, Sally? Maybe a juice cleanse before grabbing mom’s Thigh Master? Or maybe post some photos of a dessert you had while out with the boyfriend? Maybe a strawberry daiquiri?

If I was Clayton Tucker’s dad and had this unemployed pussy living under my roof at age 32, I’d be over at Lampasas Beer Market getting hammered every night. Then I’d stagger home wasted and challenge her to feats of strength while poking her in the sternum and calling her an embarrassment to the family.

I might also yell at my wife for mollycoddling him and turning him into such a pussy in the first place. Mom probably gave him presents on OTHER kid’s birthdays when he started crying.

The guy who claims to be a rancher is going to fast to lose weight! LOL. You know how REAL ranchers lose weight? Doing their job everyday and busting their asses out in the real world. They don’t lay in bed at their parents’ house all day complaining about how faint they feel because they haven’t eaten all day.

Guess we need to add this to the pile of evidence that Clayton Tucker is, in fact, a woman.

Local Manatee Gleeful Over Mask Edict

Local half-ton moron Bruce Haywood is positively giddy over the recent (likely-unconstitutional) mask order made by our idiot governor to protect us against a very minor threat (a bad flu). Bruce just can’t understand why we don’t all bow down and obey an order based on total bullshit for a virus that has a IFR rate of .04%

Boot licking Wuhan Flu mask sycophant

What if tomorrow they suggest you wear swim goggles too, Bruce? To protect your eyes…because 3 people on the planet caught Wuhan Flu through their eyes. Would you start wearing them immediately and unquestionably? I’m sure you would.

What if some lovable cute young photogenic girl got into a car crash last week and died…and it was discovered her tires were dangerously underinflated. What if Governor Dipshit then decreed that every car owner was ordered to get up at 2am to check their tire pressure or face fines of $500? Would you do that too, Bruce? I bet you would – and you’d say “what’s the big deal? It can’t hurt to do this!”

You obey because you are a moron and a sheep, Bruce. You do not comprehend statistics and math. There is ZERO scientific evidence that masks work against a tiny virus and EVEN IF THEY DID, the fatality rate from this is the same as a bad flu. So get over it, already.

Here’s an idea: how about all you scared rabbits just stay home and OUT of the bars and restaurants that I will still be frequenting MASKLESS. Then we are all happy. You have ZERO right to walk into any business and then bitch that people aren’t wearing masks (*cough* Julie dipshit Landrum *cough*). YOU are the one with a fear problem. Not me.

Here is MY edict and executive order for Bruce the Hippopotamus:

WHEREAS heart disease kills 650,000 people annually and Texas represents roughly 10% of the population of the United States and thus 65,000 deaths annually JUST from heart disease in the Lone Star State…

WHEREAS the Wuhan Flu has killed only 2,500 Texans and is thus TWENTY-SIX TIMES LESS deadly than heart disease….

WHEREAS any slob like Bruce who is 200 pounds overweight has a HIGHLY ELEVATED CHANCE of dying of heart disease, cancer or stroke….

Governor Lampasshole hereby decrees that manatees like Bruce Haywood are ordered to wear a mask that will not allow cheeseburgers, ribs, steak sandwiches and other unhealthy foods to pass his lips. You are hereby ordered to ONLY allow straws to sip smoothies into your pie hole until you have reached a government-mandated “safe weight” of 180 pounds. THIS IS “FOR YOUR OWN GOOD”.

I expect you would comply with this, right Bruce? You boot licking yam bag.

The Bruce Haywood Cheeseburger, Ribs and Krab Kingz Protection Mask

I think the best thing for shit heads like Bruce Haywood and Julie Cain Landrum to do is just get a freaking HAZMAT suit and leave the rest of us out of it. I will BUY you one. Free. On the house. Gratis.

How about it Bruce, ya dummy???? I’m offering to pay for 100% of your hazmat suit, you incredible dipshit. The catch is you HAVE to wear it every single time you step out of your hovel. Surely, it has to be WAY safer than the dirty t-shirt you currently use as your pacifier. As you so often ask: what’s the big deal???? Gotta be safer right?

Enjoy your mask edict, you clown horn. You are a timorous and third-rate man. A weakling for which the struggle with hard facts and data is clearly unendurable.