Tag: Bruce Haywood

Capitalism Has Brought So Much Prosperity, It’s Killing People From Fatness.

Even though socialist scumbags like Clayton Tucker like to crap all over the free market and think that complete idiots like Que Mala! Harris, Joe Biden and Mayor Pete Buttplug are geniuses who can run a command economy from D.C. – the evidence proves otherwise. Just look at this!

Now look at THIS:

Yes, that top photo is for real. Bruce Haywood is FATTER than the fattest man in the world was just 134 years ago. He would have been a circus freak and the fattest guy in the WORLD! As opposed to merely the dumbest guy in our town.

Bruce Haywood doesn’t even have to work to feed himself! He collects checks from the government (i.e. the rest of us) and yet he certainly appears to be well-fed despite doing absolutely nothing productive. Yet clowns like Bruce and Comrade Clayton want the government to take over every part of America life and kill the golden goose.

Somebody Please Do A Wellness Check On Poor Bruce Haywood.

Poor Bruce.

Poor dumb, fat Bruce.

I expect to see his name in the Dispatch obituaries any day now. Has anyone checked in on that poor deluded slob to make sure he hasn’t had an aneurysm??

Bruce has had to absorb a LOT of bad news the last week or so. But none so damaging to his health as the realization that Trump will NOT be going to prison, after all!

We are coming up on the TWO YEAR anniversary of the Mar-A-Lago raid (8/8/22). Bruce was overjoyed and expected Trump to be behind bars any second. Here are some of his posts from that week….

Well. None of that is going to happen, Bruce. In fact, Donald Trump will likely be elected president in a few months. Are you sure your fat monkey heart can handle that? I don’t think it can.

Bruce made himself look like an even BIGGER asshat by posting THIS just one month ago pertaining to the June 27th presidential debate:

Not only is Trump not behind bars, as depicted in this moronic cartoon, but the debate turned into the biggest political disaster in human history. Trump delivered a knockout blow that killed Biden’s chances at the presidency, his very dignity and his entire career. Here we are almost a WEEK later and Biden is STILL petrified to go on TV and talk without a teleprompter. He’s STILL staggering around punch-drunk and the entire nest of democrat rats is in complete disarray. Trump knocked him into next week!

Then came the Chevron Deference case, then came the immunity ruling, and now there will be no Trump sentencing on July 11th after all!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You fool!

And Trump will be your president for FOUR YEARS, you colossal shitbird! You make Stephanie Fitzharris look like a genius with all of your predictions.

Hey Bruce….do you like apples?

Local Land Whale Bruce Haywood Finally Lost His Mind.

Local hard-core lefty Bruce Haywood never really had much going on upstairs:

Is Bruce Haywood Still The Dumbest Person in Lampasas? [June 2020]

Bruce Haywood: The Man, The Myth, The Moron [Jan 2022]

He thinks Hillary Clinton is a swell gal, he believes Trump is a Russian agent who stole nuclear secrets and sold them, he thinks open borders are a terrific idea, he kept his poor high-school kid out of school because of a “pandemic” that didn’t affect teenage girls at all, and he was 100% all in on the masking and the “vaccines” too.

In short, a colossal moron – as I have pointed out here many, many times.

I EVEN mulled over the possibility that Bruce Haywood might literally be a schizophrenic back in September of 2022, and suggested he be institutionalized and DEFINITELY not be allowed to vote:

Clearly Loose Haywire is a schizophrenic. One day he says one thing, and a few days later, a completely different (albeit equally retarded) persona appears to yammer about shit that directly contradicts what Personality #1 said previously.

His family should really have him institutionalized. Mentally ill people should not be allowed to vote, either.

We now have even more proof that Loose Haywire has totally lost it.

Just yesterday, Bruce was on Facebook crowing about how INCREDIBLE El Frias is – the Mexican joint that used to be Bill’s Burgers (and Toupsies before that):

This is very odd all by itself. Just six months ago, Bruce was shitting all over that restaurant and vowed NEVER to go back!

But ok. When you weigh 350 pounds, your promises about food are rarely kept. Perhaps someone offered him a free meal or something, so he decided to try it again. Whatever.

But here’s the kicker: as Loose Haywire blabbered on about how fantastic El Firas was, he stated that he has never been there before! He claimed it was “our first time trying” the restaurant!!

Dude. Seek help. You were literally just there six months ago and even felt compelled to blabber about it on LCBN Facebook page!

None of this is a really big surprise to me. After all, obesity and dipshittery go hand in hand, according to many, many studies:

How Obesity Affects the Human Brain

Can being obese make you dumber and more forgetful?

Obesity changes the brain, with ‘no sign of reversibility,’ expert says

Research study conducted at the University of Cambridge concluded that obese people have less white matter in their brain compared to normal-weight individuals.

Then again, it may be more of a “chicken and the egg” thing: is Bruce fat because he’s dumb? Or is he dumb because he’s fat?

An interesting question.

Fat Libslob Bruce Haywood Shits on Local Restaurant. I’ll Be Going There Today to Support Them.

Local liberal slob Bruce Haywood took time out of his busy day of sleeping in his greasy recliner to shit on the head of a local business – something he chides others for doing all the time…

Reminder: Bruce Haywood is a HUGE Biden supporter and has informed us that Bidenomics is AWESOME and that there is no inflation at all, so I’m not sure why he’s bitching about prices.

Also, he doesn’t pay any income tax OR property taxes at all!! He is a freeloader and a parasite. He lives off of YOU, the taxpayer. Should have plenty of cash to spare, right Bruce??

The business in question is El Frias, in the old Bill’s Burgers building. I have been there a couple times and found the food and service to be fine. Perhaps the waitstaff is disgusted by your appearance, Bruce? Maybe that’s why they won’t visit your table.

Nauseating pile of blubber

Pro tip: it would be cheaper to eat out if you didn’t order 4 or 5 entrees for yourself, you corpulent moron.

Besides, Bruce “The Manatee” Haywood has a more refined palate. Stuff like Krab Kingz slathered in butter or a 2am Whataburger greaseburger. He probably also adores Captain D’s. Anything soaked in grease or butter is fine dining in Haywood’s book. If you served him a raccoon turd in garlic butter, he’d gobble that shit right down.

If Bruce Haywood is shitting on a restaurant and says he won’t be going back, then that will be my new go-to spot. The last thing I want to see while I’m eating is a 380-pound sack of shit riding around in a scooter complaining about the prices.

P.S. – I find it hilarious that some of the same people bitching about prices are the ones who are constantly complaining that Lampasas “needs a nice steakhouse” to open up. They bitch about a $10 entree but obviously have no clue that a “nice steakhouse” is going to charge 3 or 4 times that for a good steak. Go shove your faces with Captain D’s you pigs.

I Didn’t Think I Could Hate 300-Pound Sack Of Shit Bruce Haywood More Than I Already Do. I Was Wrong.

I shouldn’t be surprised that our local manatee is a follower of Dan Blather. Blather has always been a magnet for retards:

Dan Rather is upset about people possibly lying on their taxes? This is a guy who got FIRED from his news jobs for lying over and over. He’s one of the biggest pieces of shit there are. I can’t believe he’s not dead yet, either. What is he, like 101 years old? Fuck him.

I’m sure Blather doesn’t know this (because he has high-priced tax experts to do HIS returns) but with about 60,000 pages of tax code, even the most honest people get fucked by the IRS constantly – and many lives are ruined:

Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk aren’t going to be audited. YOU are – you, the little guy.

Bruce is literally GLEEFUL over that prospect. This 300-pound sack of shit (who HIMSELF hasn’t paid taxes in 23 years and therefore living off of those of us who DO) is actually GLEEFUL that the IRS will “go back decade after decade” to try and find a misplaced dollar or two so they can bankrupt you with ridiculous fines and penalties.

Let that sink in. Bruce, who is kept in Whataburger and Krab Kingz junk food by YOU the taxpayer isn’t happy with that arrangement. He wants your nuts squeezed harder by a bunch of IRS scumbags.

Bruce, you are one numb cunt. I really hope all your fast food, vaccines and booster shots put you in an early grave. I’m gonna dance all over it, you fat turd.

Piece of shit is gleeful your life may be ruined because you didn’t get enough stolen from you for lazy fat cunts like him

Rhonda Witcher Gets The Shaft

That doesn’t think what you think it means.

It means that Comrade Clayton was already slurping on Robert O’Rourke’s left nut and Haywood had the right in HIS mouth. All that was left for Rhonda was the shaft.

From today’s Radiogram:

There was a lot of noise, and when Beto came out and started his usual campaign speech it was surprisingly mute from hecklers. That appeared to be mostly because there was little to heckle. Most of what he said was hard to disagree with, even for the other side. When the event was over, comments we heard were something like: “That was pretty middle of the road” or “That was a very measured speech” etc. At any rate, it was inspirational and a clear victory event for his supporters, and at least a peaceful event for all. The Campaign that started with Beto O’Rourke far in the distance in this reddest of red states, now has him still behind, but only by single digits.

OH really, Rhonda? The other side thinks his stances are hard to disagree with? LOL. OK. More likely, all those fake comments from the article were just the usual voices in your own empty skull as you hobbled around the room trying to get a good position on your knees between the other sycophants.

I imagine most non-Democrats were at work yesterday afternoon, and thus unable to heckle. Parasites like Clayton Tucker and Bruce Haywood don’t have jobs, so they can easily show up in the middle of the day to lick his sack.

With both balls already being tongue washed by Haywood and Tucker, all that was left unsucked was Robert’s mean Irish inch. So: Rhonda got the shaft. Congrats Rhonda Witcher!!

It is hilarious watching these fools get all excited about O’Rourke winning. It is NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. But I bet he lightened your wallet, didn’t he, Comrade Clayton! I’ll bet you Comrade Clayton spent all of his weekly allowance in the donation hat. What a fool.

I’m STILL offering to give any of you clowns 2-1 odds on O’Rourke to win it. That goes for Rhonda Witcher. You can reach me at lampasshole@protonmail.com

Beta Male O’Rourke In Town Today

Beta will be somewhere in town today. I know there are two VERY excited people who can’t wait to go slobber over him. Comrade Clayton Tucker (our unemployed town socialist) and Bruce Haywood, our village idiot.

In honor of the occasion, I wrote a limerick for Bruce:

  • There once was an asshole named Bruce
  • Who was roughly the size of a moose
  • Today’s he’s elated
  • To go and cheer Beta
  • While kissing his Irish caboose