Tag: Bruce Haywood

Local Land Whale Bruce Haywood Finally Lost His Mind.

Local hard-core lefty Bruce Haywood never really had much going on upstairs:

Is Bruce Haywood Still The Dumbest Person in Lampasas? [June 2020]

Bruce Haywood: The Man, The Myth, The Moron [Jan 2022]

He thinks Hillary Clinton is a swell gal, he believes Trump is a Russian agent who stole nuclear secrets and sold them, he thinks open borders are a terrific idea, he kept his poor high-school kid out of school because of a “pandemic” that didn’t affect teenage girls at all, and he was 100% all in on the masking and the “vaccines” too.

In short, a colossal moron – as I have pointed out here many, many times.

I EVEN mulled over the possibility that Bruce Haywood might literally be a schizophrenic back in September of 2022, and suggested he be institutionalized and DEFINITELY not be allowed to vote:

Clearly Loose Haywire is a schizophrenic. One day he says one thing, and a few days later, a completely different (albeit equally retarded) persona appears to yammer about shit that directly contradicts what Personality #1 said previously.

His family should really have him institutionalized. Mentally ill people should not be allowed to vote, either.

We now have even more proof that Loose Haywire has totally lost it.

Just yesterday, Bruce was on Facebook crowing about how INCREDIBLE El Frias is – the Mexican joint that used to be Bill’s Burgers (and Toupsies before that):

This is very odd all by itself. Just six months ago, Bruce was shitting all over that restaurant and vowed NEVER to go back!

But ok. When you weigh 350 pounds, your promises about food are rarely kept. Perhaps someone offered him a free meal or something, so he decided to try it again. Whatever.

But here’s the kicker: as Loose Haywire blabbered on about how fantastic El Firas was, he stated that he has never been there before! He claimed it was “our first time trying” the restaurant!!

Dude. Seek help. You were literally just there six months ago and even felt compelled to blabber about it on LCBN Facebook page!

None of this is a really big surprise to me. After all, obesity and dipshittery go hand in hand, according to many, many studies:

How Obesity Affects the Human Brain

Can being obese make you dumber and more forgetful?

Obesity changes the brain, with ‘no sign of reversibility,’ expert says

Research study conducted at the University of Cambridge concluded that obese people have less white matter in their brain compared to normal-weight individuals.

Then again, it may be more of a “chicken and the egg” thing: is Bruce fat because he’s dumb? Or is he dumb because he’s fat?

An interesting question.

Fat Libslob Bruce Haywood Shits on Local Restaurant. I’ll Be Going There Today to Support Them.

Local liberal slob Bruce Haywood took time out of his busy day of sleeping in his greasy recliner to shit on the head of a local business – something he chides others for doing all the time…

Reminder: Bruce Haywood is a HUGE Biden supporter and has informed us that Bidenomics is AWESOME and that there is no inflation at all, so I’m not sure why he’s bitching about prices.

Also, he doesn’t pay any income tax OR property taxes at all!! He is a freeloader and a parasite. He lives off of YOU, the taxpayer. Should have plenty of cash to spare, right Bruce??

The business in question is El Frias, in the old Bill’s Burgers building. I have been there a couple times and found the food and service to be fine. Perhaps the waitstaff is disgusted by your appearance, Bruce? Maybe that’s why they won’t visit your table.

Nauseating pile of blubber

Pro tip: it would be cheaper to eat out if you didn’t order 4 or 5 entrees for yourself, you corpulent moron.

Besides, Bruce “The Manatee” Haywood has a more refined palate. Stuff like Krab Kingz slathered in butter or a 2am Whataburger greaseburger. He probably also adores Captain D’s. Anything soaked in grease or butter is fine dining in Haywood’s book. If you served him a raccoon turd in garlic butter, he’d gobble that shit right down.

If Bruce Haywood is shitting on a restaurant and says he won’t be going back, then that will be my new go-to spot. The last thing I want to see while I’m eating is a 380-pound sack of shit riding around in a scooter complaining about the prices.

P.S. – I find it hilarious that some of the same people bitching about prices are the ones who are constantly complaining that Lampasas “needs a nice steakhouse” to open up. They bitch about a $10 entree but obviously have no clue that a “nice steakhouse” is going to charge 3 or 4 times that for a good steak. Go shove your faces with Captain D’s you pigs.

I Didn’t Think I Could Hate 300-Pound Sack Of Shit Bruce Haywood More Than I Already Do. I Was Wrong.

I shouldn’t be surprised that our local manatee is a follower of Dan Blather. Blather has always been a magnet for retards:

Dan Rather is upset about people possibly lying on their taxes? This is a guy who got FIRED from his news jobs for lying over and over. He’s one of the biggest pieces of shit there are. I can’t believe he’s not dead yet, either. What is he, like 101 years old? Fuck him.

I’m sure Blather doesn’t know this (because he has high-priced tax experts to do HIS returns) but with about 60,000 pages of tax code, even the most honest people get fucked by the IRS constantly – and many lives are ruined:

Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk aren’t going to be audited. YOU are – you, the little guy.

Bruce is literally GLEEFUL over that prospect. This 300-pound sack of shit (who HIMSELF hasn’t paid taxes in 23 years and therefore living off of those of us who DO) is actually GLEEFUL that the IRS will “go back decade after decade” to try and find a misplaced dollar or two so they can bankrupt you with ridiculous fines and penalties.

Let that sink in. Bruce, who is kept in Whataburger and Krab Kingz junk food by YOU the taxpayer isn’t happy with that arrangement. He wants your nuts squeezed harder by a bunch of IRS scumbags.

Bruce, you are one numb cunt. I really hope all your fast food, vaccines and booster shots put you in an early grave. I’m gonna dance all over it, you fat turd.

Piece of shit is gleeful your life may be ruined because you didn’t get enough stolen from you for lazy fat cunts like him

Rhonda Witcher Gets The Shaft

That doesn’t think what you think it means.

It means that Comrade Clayton was already slurping on Robert O’Rourke’s left nut and Haywood had the right in HIS mouth. All that was left for Rhonda was the shaft.

From today’s Radiogram:

There was a lot of noise, and when Beto came out and started his usual campaign speech it was surprisingly mute from hecklers. That appeared to be mostly because there was little to heckle. Most of what he said was hard to disagree with, even for the other side. When the event was over, comments we heard were something like: “That was pretty middle of the road” or “That was a very measured speech” etc. At any rate, it was inspirational and a clear victory event for his supporters, and at least a peaceful event for all. The Campaign that started with Beto O’Rourke far in the distance in this reddest of red states, now has him still behind, but only by single digits.

OH really, Rhonda? The other side thinks his stances are hard to disagree with? LOL. OK. More likely, all those fake comments from the article were just the usual voices in your own empty skull as you hobbled around the room trying to get a good position on your knees between the other sycophants.

I imagine most non-Democrats were at work yesterday afternoon, and thus unable to heckle. Parasites like Clayton Tucker and Bruce Haywood don’t have jobs, so they can easily show up in the middle of the day to lick his sack.

With both balls already being tongue washed by Haywood and Tucker, all that was left unsucked was Robert’s mean Irish inch. So: Rhonda got the shaft. Congrats Rhonda Witcher!!

It is hilarious watching these fools get all excited about O’Rourke winning. It is NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. But I bet he lightened your wallet, didn’t he, Comrade Clayton! I’ll bet you Comrade Clayton spent all of his weekly allowance in the donation hat. What a fool.

I’m STILL offering to give any of you clowns 2-1 odds on O’Rourke to win it. That goes for Rhonda Witcher. You can reach me at lampasshole@protonmail.com

Beta Male O’Rourke In Town Today

Beta will be somewhere in town today. I know there are two VERY excited people who can’t wait to go slobber over him. Comrade Clayton Tucker (our unemployed town socialist) and Bruce Haywood, our village idiot.

In honor of the occasion, I wrote a limerick for Bruce:

  • There once was an asshole named Bruce
  • Who was roughly the size of a moose
  • Today’s he’s elated
  • To go and cheer Beta
  • While kissing his Irish caboose

Bookmark This For November 8th, Bruce Haywood

It’s funny to watch the lib-monkeys get worked into a lather over more Trump frame jobs and hoaxes. They were literally lied to for four years about that ridiculous “Russia collusion” fabrication, then they believed the vaccines worked, then they believed that Hunter’s laptop was “Russian disinformation” lol, and here they are RIGHT BACK believing more bullshit. It is comical. If Covid taught me anything, it’s that about 30% of the population are hopelessly retarded boot-licking clowns.

They hoot and holler and jump around shitting in their own hands and flinging it at each other:

Trump is going to jail! Trump sold nuclear secrets to Putin! Trump is going to be executed under the espionage act!

Yeah, because Trump needs the money so badly. This is the same guy who didn’t take a paycheck as president. A guy who had money BEFORE he held office – as opposed to scum like the Clintons or Bidens who were dirt-broke rubes and garden-variety morons before they somehow fell ass backwards into hundreds of millions through shady deals like Uranium One and $500,000 “speeches” to the Russians and “ten percent to the Big Guy”.

Tell you what, Bruce. Since Trump is going to jail, I guess he won’t be president again. How about I take Trump to win in 2024 at 100-1 odds? I’ll bet you $200 to win $20,000. I’d bet more there, but I doubt you could afford the loss.

But I digress

Anyways, I want to pin some of Bruce Haywood’s screeching monkey shit here so I can come back and laugh at it on November 9th. Here you go, you idiot monkey – have a couple of bananas:

I just wish I could see Bruce’s fat, stupid, slack-jawed manatee face on November 9th when he realizes Francis O’Rourke is a three-time loser and he gets four more years of Abbott. He’ll shit his Depends and head out for 10,000 calories of Whataburger, no doubt.

I cannot wait.

P.S. – the FBI has been known to murder innocent mothers holding babies. Just saying.

Bruce Haywood Is Such A Moron and Hypocrite It Makes My Eyeballs Hurt

I seriously think this idiot needs to be institutionalized. Can manatees be rabid? Because this one definitely is. Somebody in his family needs to take him to the vet at the closest aquarium and have him put down before he hurts himself.

I’ve never seen such a profound case of Trump Derangement Syndrome as I’ve seen in Bruce Haywood. Between his TDS and morbid obesity, Bruce will be in an early grave.

Which is actually fine by me.

Let’s look at Bruce’s latest stupidity:

Property taxes: yes Bruce – they suck. We agree on that. Of course, they go up and up and up because idiots like yourself and Clayton Tucker demand “free” stuff at the schools like three meals a day and endless laptops for everybody. You also demand teachers (and cops) get paid a lot more and have smaller classes. All of that costs a LOT of money – and a BIG chunk comes out of your property taxes. So fuck you. You brought that on yourself.

Bruce REALLY hates those property taxes because he can’t avoid them, like he does with federal income taxes – which he admits he hasn’t paid in 23 years….

You see, Bruce is a parasite. He doesn’t work at the ripe old age of 58. There is no way in hell this is because he retired early due to brains and a successful business. I’m betting it’s because he gets checks from the government. I’m guessing he claims he is “disabled”. In my book, being 200 pounds overweight isn’t an actual disability. It’s proof you’re a gluttonous slob who lacks willpower.

Repulsive

Here is a typical day for Bruce the Parasite: he stays up until 2am posting anti-Trump crap and pro-Beto crap on Facebook while yelling to himself and sputtering saliva all over his own face. This is called “cardio” in Bruce’s house. Then he sleeps until about noon the next day. Then he gets up, eats a big pile of Whattaburger and starts all over again….

Disgusting slob

Sometimes he switches it up and pours gallons of butter down his gullet at Krab Kingz – his other favorite….

Gruesome and appalling.

I imagine he just sits all day in a giant La-Z-Boy recliner covered in a plastic liner while he sweats buttery pig grease all over himself, smelling of old lady piss while lounging in his crusty yellow underwear. What a fucking loser….and you and I pay for it.

Electricity bills: Bruce is a massive hypocrite here. Bruce LOVES solar and windmills – the VERY TWO THINGS that are making the grid unstable and require us to spend MORE and MORE money to build RELIABLE power plants powered by natural gas and oil. Hell, just TWO DAYS ago, the wind was essentially ZERO and provided less than ONE HALF OF ONE PERCENT (.004) of the day’s electricity.

On those days, fossil fuels save the day – that means money. Of course, dipshit Bruce never even has to worry about his power going out because he is on a grid with a hospital, according to him. So on those days when power is tight (thanks to greentarded policies pushed by Bruce himself) he is sitting there with his AC on full blast and his pool pump running all day while other people suffer for his stupidity.

Bonus hypocrisy: Bruce the Manatee doesn’t even have solar on his own house!!! What a piece of shit, eh?

Haywood’s Hovel devoid of any solar panels. What a hypocritical scrote he is.

Internet bills: more bullshit from the parasite. Internet has gotten WAY cheaper thanks to competition and the arrival of Nextlink – which BRUCE HIMSELF admits he has. It is less than $100 a month and has very good speeds. Any increases in OTHER Internet prices is because morons like Bruce and Clayton Tucker demand that Internet is a RIGHT and everybody should get it free or subsidized – which means the rest of us pay for the freeloaders.

Once again, the rest of us pay for the bums and freeloaders….like Bruce and Clayton…

Phone bill: see the above argument about Internet. All those “Obama phones” and other “free stuff” we hand to freeloaders and bums? The rest of us pay for it. It works the same way as the hospitals. When freeloaders don’t pay their bills, those of us who DO shell out for insurance (like me) get charged $9 for a fucking aspirin so they can make up the losses somewhere else.

What morons like Bruce cannot comprehend is that NOTHING is free. Not school lunches, not Obama phones, not Internet, not trips to the emergency room, not windmills or any of his other libtard pipe dreams. SOMEBODY ELSE pays for it.

The very shit Bruce is whining about is because of policies HE SCREAMS FOR! Can you get any dumber than that? It’s like shooting yourself in the foot and then blaming the company that made the bullet – which sounds exactly like something this idiot might actually do one day. If he could even see his foot, that is.

In short Bruce, shut the fuck up and be happy you are already sponging so much off the taxpayer you can sleep all day and sit around doing nothing but posting Trump screeds and eating junk food in your greasy recliner, you unbelievable parasitic scumbag.