LCAD Chief Appraiser Carol Jones Has Lost Her Mind. Requests Budget Increase Of 32%!! This Is Despite Raping Taxpayers For $86,000 PER YEAR Software In 2021.

No big deal. Carol just wants to increase her budget from $840,000 per year to a massive $1,108,913.00 per year!

Would likely be bagging groceries if she didn’t have cushy job. Costs taxpayers $120,000 per year.

She wants to hire THREE new people – including a “Deputy Chief Appraiser” – you know, so she can sit on her ass and let her bitch boy do all the work. Kind of like a Finley/Ward thing going on there.

This chick’s name rang a bell with me, so I searched my blog since I remembered this same organization asked for an 11% increase not too long ago:

Lampasas County Appraisal District Gets 4% Raise…After 11% Raise Last Year.

This chick has some balls on her. You know what makes it ever MORE insulting? This SAME IDIOT convinced Lampasas County to spend $86,000 PER YEAR on software back in 2021 to “make the office more efficient”!!

Oh, and she ALSO requested (and got)spending of TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS on fucking iPads!!! That was in 2022! How the hell do you spend $25,000 on iPads?!?!

I’ll say it again – $25,000 ON IPADS! Think about that as you look at your property tax assessments this year.

Judge Hoyer at least had the good sense to ask this idiot if the software and iPads they are blowing gobs of money on have made them more efficient – and thus negate the need for all these new appraisers.

Her response?

“We did have a bumpy start, but we have made quite a bit of progress.”

That sounds to me like the $86,000 per year was a total waste. She ALSO told the county that they haven’t even received the iPads yet! They get them in September! How do you take TWO YEARS to get iPads?!?

Oh – and she pulled a similar stunt two years ago!

Court denies appraisal district budget for new fiscal year

Gee – I wonder that happened in 2021 and 2022 to make the county so generous throwing money at morons like this? Oh yeah – the county was showered with about $4 million in “Covid money” by Bumblin Joe Biden. And you wonder why we have massive inflation.

Screw this moron. Tell her she gets ZERO budget increase. She better figure out a way to make that $86,000 PER YEAR software do the job she promised back in 2021.

They are paying this imbecile $85,690 per year PLUS another $32,000 in benefits [page 24]??

I’ll do the job for $80,000 and NO benefits.

I’m sure I have to take some “Appraiser Class” or something –which I will pay for out of my own pocket. I’m not kidding. I’ll ace the class easily, because I guarantee you I’m far smarter than her. When I become Chief Appraiser, I’ll find a much faster and better way to appraise that shit. You won’t need 3 new people. I’ll use AI bots, Zillow, Redfin and anything else at my disposal. Because I am an efficiency nut and not a fat slob who wants to pad the payroll.

I’m totally serious. If you County people are reading this, please fire this incompetent moron and give me the job. It sure as hell won’t take me 40 hours a week all year ’round. Email me at lampasshole@protonmail.com – I am not even joking.

No way this is a difficult job. You sure as HELL don’t need to hire a “Deputy Chief Appraiser” for $75,000, you lazy turd.

Zero budget increase for you. Don’t like it? There’s the door, you incompetent parasite.

Holy Shit! Chuck “The Vampire” Williamson Dies In Office.

Wow! Not sure how I missed this one. City councilman Chuck “The Vampire” Williamson passed away June 18th. He will join fellow City councilman Randy “Speedbump” Clark at that big City Council Chamber in the sky.

There is only one conclusion I can draw from BOTH Clark and Williamson passing away during their City council terms: dealing with Cathy “Porkchop” Kuehne is enough to put any man in his grave.

I disagreed with pretty much every single position Chuck took as a City councilman. I was especially galled when he voted to hand a pot of gold over to Deorald Finney and his Stone Valley development back around 2019. He was also instrumental in the boneheaded move to sell a City building for $75,000 and then buy the same building back later for $225,000.

I gave Chuck his “Vampire” moniker because despite being voted out of office, he somehow rose from the dead and was re-installed by TJ Monroe when they guy who beat him resigned suddenly. I think that might have even happened twice, actually. I’m too lazy to search my own blog, however.

Chuck was fairly useless as a councilman, but according to his obituary he served in Vietnam – which is a hell I wouldn’t wish on anyone. So my respect for him has jumped on that. I’m sure he has family that will miss him as well. My condolences to them.

R.I.P. Chuck.

A Modest Proposal

Now that Stacey Ybarra has gone the way of Walsh, Masonheimer, Hargrove, the dodo bird, and the golden toad, may I make a modest proposal?

Golden toads: now extinct, despite the froggy style you see above.

I believe I made the same proposal when Mandy resigned: do nothing and don’t hire anyone.

I pointed out almost two years ago that the free market had ALREADY jumped in and picked up the slack for a good portion of her job:

Approximately 30% Of Mandy Walsh’s Old Duties To Be Replaced By Inanimate Facebook Page “DoLampasas” – For Zero Cost

DoLampasas has a website now too!

Check out DoLampasas

There is something there for everyone – including the kids!

Maybe the City should hold on to that $9,500 a month that Ybarra was costing them and deploy a small portion somewhere else? By NOT hiring a new EDD, you certainly won’t get any LESS tenants in the Business Pork, will you? You’ve gone 0-for-twenty-years with the last four gals in there. Hard to believe that “hire nobody” will be any worse.

Just a thought.

Socialist Mouse Jiggler Clayton Tucker To Start Yet Another Political Grift! Has His Eye On Texas Ag Commissioner?

You like that one? “Mouse jiggler”? I saw that last week when a bunch of Wells Fargo parasites who “work” from home got caught using machines (which you can apparently buy on Amazon) that move your computer mouse around to make it look like you are doing work when you are actually doing jack shit.

Wells Fargo Fires ‘Mouse Jigglers’ Taking Aim At Fake Work And Other Trends

If that doesn’t sum up Gen Z, then I don’t know what does. As you know, I have made Clayton Tucker an honorary member of Gen Z even though he is 33 years old. If anyone in this town is a mouse jiggler, it is Clayton Tucker. An expert at spinning his wheels while going nowhere yet building a huge resume of useless titles and failing to support himself financially.

So what is the mouse jiggler up to now? He’s back to licking Jim Hightower’s shriveled ball sack and “getting ready to launch a new organization,” of course! If there is one thing Tucker excels at, it is creating new non-profits to stick his name on.

The 33-year-old boy who lives with mom and who has no past or present in Texas Agriculture is going to team up with an octogenarian with one foot in the grave who was Ag commissioner 40 years ago to shape the future of Texas Agriculture.

BAHAHAHAHAHA. Jiggle that mouse, boy!

You’d think the ‘rancher’ who saw a bunch of his goats drop dead recently and who has been “working on a website” for 6 months might focus his energies on actually raising and selling some product.

Six months later? No website.

But you’d be wrong. Because socialist scumbags aren’t about creating or producing anything. They think they should be at the top telling everyone else what to do – despite being unable to even fend for themselves. Look at Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden and Chuck Schumer. Three old farts with a combined age of about 235 years who have NEVER HAD A REAL JOB between the three of them! Yet for some reason, they think they are smart enough to run everyone else’s lives. Mouse-jigglin Tucker is cut from that same cloth.

Instead, he’s busy going to communist conventions in El Paso to listen to a man who has fake tits and dresses like a whore lecture him on drag queen story hours….

You know…typical rancher stuff.

I’m pretty sure that Comrade Clayton has aspirations on being Ag Commissioner someday. That will NEVER happen, of course.

It will never happen for many reasons: Comrade Clayton is too short, too dull, has no REAL connections besides Hightower (who will be in a grave soon), no looks, no personality, no money, no height, no accomplishments, and no knowledge of agriculture. If all those reasons aren’t enough to stop him, there is always my massive treasure trove here on my blog of all his lies, bullshit and socialist beliefs that I will make available to any opponent he has in the future. I’ll NEVER stop. Ever.

But hey – BIG things are coming!!

Is this like your Substack that was a BIG HUGE UPDATE? The Substack you posted on a few times but which has been abandoned for the last three months? Or maybe it is like your Killeen Creators that you claim to have founded but haven’t visited in years and years? Or perhaps it’s like the Lampasas Community Gardens you took photo ops at but then never returned to again? Or maybe the “beekeeping” you claimed you did but then also quickly abandoned?

No? This one will actually be HUGE and accomplish heroic feats? Ok then. I cannot wait to tear the next Big Idea apart and watch it crumble to the ground.

Jiggle that mouse, bitch!!

Another One Bites The Dust: Economic Development Director Stacey Ybarra Resigns.

Well, that didn’t take long. This one lasted 18 months. Why does all the juicy stuff happen the minute I leave for vacation?? I got a whiff of this a week ago but was out of the country enjoying beaches and stone crab.

I tried to confirm this is 100% true with the City secretary today but…it’s a federal holiday! First I heard of that, too. They even closed the stock market for Juneteenth this year! Pretty soon, government workers will get 30 or 40 holidays off per year, in addition to their two months PTO.

[Round Rock sure knows how to celebrate “Juneteenth”! Some black guy went on a rampage. I hear 14 people were shot and two killed. IN ROUND ROCK! Nice.]

I DO have to say that the timing of this whole thing is weird. Here we have a chick who was getting six-figures of salary and benefits to basically do nothing. She even got caught making shit up out of thin air and there were no repercussions. She convinced City council to send her to ATLANTA for some ridiculous “economic development” junket (which has likely ALREADY been paid for) AND I think she was also signed up to get some “free” (courtesy of the taxpayers) continuing education too! Now, why would you abruptly quit with all that on your side?

I only have two guesses:

#1 – she has been shopping for a better job for months and hit an even bigger jackpot closer to where she lives (at least an hour south of Lampasas)…

OR

#2 – City council was about to come down on her ass pretty hard for accomplishing nothing the last 18 months while costing the City almost $200k in salary and benefits. The Business Pork STILL sits empty despite her making it her “first priority” as EDD.

I’m going with #1, myself. We’ll know soon enough!

If any birdies have info on this, contact me at lampasshole@protonmail.com

P.S. Remember that time Ybarra made up a lie about “20 to 35 jobs created” and a “$0.7 million dollar capital investment”? I sure do!

Stephanie Fitzharris: Still A Total Moron Exactly Four Years Later.

Almost four years ago to the day, local radical-left idiot Stephanie Fitzharris was high on BLM and Covid fumes. She was super busy yapping about George Floyd and how cops were “brutal terrorists” for having to gall to arrest criminals if they happened to be black.

Limo liberal dipshit sisters feel pity for anyone born black. Can you condescend any more??

She also publicly begged for donations to the SPLC – a radical left grifter group that goes after everyone and anyone who isn’t also a radical leftist:

Hilariously, Potato Head was duped by yet ANOTHER radical lefty group. I wonder how much of her husband’s money she has given away to scumbag grifters like the BLM founders or the SPLC.

Just last week, we found out that the SPLC has basically been hoarding donations for themselves – thus ripping off rich, white, guilty liberal morons like Stephanie Fitzharris! BAHAHAHAHAHA. Then they fired 25% of their grifter staff!

So, a whole bunch of union grifters got canned and all the money that liberal morons like Fitzharris sent to them was skimmed and wasted. BAHAHAHAHA. I love it.

The organization has been criticized for its aggressive fundraising tactics. In 2022, the organization reported having $711 million in assets and receiving more than $100 million in donations each year since 2019.

It sure has been a good year to watch liberal organizations implode: the Washington Post, BLM, the SPLC, BuzzFeed, etc. Gonna be a great year!

Lampasas Sales Tax Receipts Eke Out Tiny 1.2% Gain – Versus UP 6.66% For Texas.

Lampasas recorded a 1.2% gain in sales tax receipts for the month of May. Trailing the state as a whole, which saw a 6.66% rise in revenue.

Lampasas is now dead flat on YTD sales tax revenue – despite inflation AND the solar eclipse ‘bump’ in activity. Apparently, the eclipse was only worth about $2,800 in added revenue – a FAR cry from the $70,000 the City spent preparing for the eclipse.

How did other cities fare?

Burnet: UP a whopping 21.8%! I’m guessing this had to do with the eclipse and the giant party/festival they had there. That caused an extra $60,000 in revenue for city coffers.

Marble Falls: UP a modest 2%

Dallas: UP an impressive 9.35%

Austin: UP 4.5%

David Hogg’s Head Looks Like an Egg On a Toothpick

A convention of wormy communist parasites would not be complete without femboy David Hogg yammering about gun control.

I bet he and Comrade Clayton talked looong into the night, if you know what I mean. They have so much in common: both grifter parasite commies who have never worked a real job in the private sector. Both have never employed anyone. Both are non-profit grifters promoting commie shit like gun bans and tranny crap.

Naturally, Hogg has TWO armed guards for himself. Hypocrite.

That is the kind of manly physique you get from a steady diet of soy milk and semen.

Fat Man Dressed Like Whorish Woman Is Speaker At Commie Convention.

We used to call these freaks pedophiles. Now they are keynote speakers at the Texas Democrat Communist Convention. I bet Comrade Clayton bought “her” a few drinks at the bar afterwards, eh?

This is the kind of perverted shit that Bruce Haywood and Stephanie Fitzharris are apparently proud of. Absolutely unbelievable that we are at this point as a country/state.

Funny how they always want to read to kids. Not old people in nursing homes. Not adults recuperating in the hospital. Not war veterans. But little impressionable, innocent kids.

Sick fucks.