Clayton Tucker Must Be Crushed And Humiliated

Socialist Jive Turkey Does Fake Photo Op.

“It ain’t cool being no jive turkey, so close to Thanksgiving” – huge black dude in jail with Eddie Murphy in Trading Places.

Socialist goatwanker and fake rancher Clayton Tucker is not aware of this rule because (1) Trading Places came out eight years before Comrade Clayton was hatched from his rotten egg and (2) Comrade Clayton (like all socialists) has no sense of humor and probably only watches the Oxygen Channel.

Here he is being a humongous jive turkey this week:

Hey! ANOTHER plastic bag!! I thought he declared war on plastic. Oh wait, that was last week. That’s already forgotten like his demand we end all fossil fuels by 2030.

But look how busy he is! He did FIVE EVENTS in one day!!!

Getting photos with every dumb twat in Congress!

“Helping with a turkey drive” – LOL. Hey asswipe, when you do FIVE EVENTS in one day, that means you ran around to each thing and spent about 20 minutes getting a photo and then you go driving off to the next thing for more photo ops.

You didn’t “help with a turkey drive,” you utter cunt. You took a photo holding a PLASTIC bag with a turkey in it and then left. I’m actually shocked your atrophied noodle arm could hold that 15-pounder up for the photo.

Since you supposedly run/own a ranch/farm and all, I’m wondering how much food/beef you donated to the local mission in Lampasas this week. You know, the one that is about a mile from your mom’s house where you live. Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve been donating my home-raised eggs there for the last 12 years, and oddly I have NEVER seen you there dropping off any donations! I’ve never heard Billy or the other workers there even mention you! Very weird.

But yeah, holding a turkey for a photo is really helping the cause.

What a complete ass hat.

Here is a photo that would have been more fitting a month ago for Halloween. Al Green looks like a German Shepherd’s shaved asshole.

Neither one of these clowns has ever had a real job in the private sector. Amazing!!

Al Green just might be the ugliest fuck on the planet. He’s certainly one of the dumbest. My over/under for combined IQ here is going to be about 155.

Unemployed Bum And Fake Rancher Is Actually Bragging About Spinning His Wheels For 30,000 Miles In Last Five Months.

Christ. Talk about a complete and utter waste of time. He has actually quantified his wheel spinning. Literally.

Mister “I Hate Plastic!” has hundreds of unsold vinyl bumper stickers destined for the landfill. LOL.

Let’s see how the math works out.

I don’t believe that 30,000 number for one second, but let’s assume it’s true for a moment. He announced his doomed candidacy back in mid June, I believe. So we’re talking five months now or about 150 days.

That’s 200 miles a day of driving. Every single day, if you never, ever take a day off, which he most certainly does. And for what?? To drive to places like Ector County where Trump won 76% of the vote? To stand in front of 12 old farts and spew falsehoods about “monopolies” ruining everyone’s lives? Jesus.

If you’re willing to drive 200 miles every single day of your life for NOTHING then you should CERTAINLY be willing to drive 150 miles for 5 days a week – which is what you could do if you found a real job in Austin and commuted every day back and forth from your parent’s house where you live.

But that would mean actual WORK and not cruising around in the wind-up Seal Mobile Toy Truck telling falsehoods about how the world works. You’d have to actually spend all day doing your job instead of posting photo ops and pretending to be a big shot. LOL.

Very, very sad. I’ll be sure to repost this when your candidacy crashes and burns next year. You utter moron.

Fake Rancher Clayton Tucker Thinks He “Bailed” Hay. Oh My Goodness.

When you are a fake rancher (or fake cowboy, or fake farmer) you make a lot of stupid little errors that a REAL rancher would catch in a second. Dummy urban shitlibs from Austin and Houston wouldn’t catch it, but most other people would.

I’m a pretty experienced SCUBA diver and when I hear some idiot on the dive boat talk about their “goggles” instead of their mask, I know they are a novice immediately, no matter how hard they try to hide it. Same goes for gun enthusiasts when they hear someone go into the store and ask for a box of bullets.

I’m not even a rancher, and I caught it. Take a look at the FRONT PAGE of fake rancher Clayton Tucker’s campaign website “Meet Clayton” section….

Whoops.

Here is a moron who has been telling us he’s a “rancher” since he could wear his own boots, and he doesn’t realize that hay is put into BALES, so therefore, he is BALING hay. He’s not BAILING hay.

Yes, yes. Let’s put a kid in charge of a billion-dollar department and the agricultural economy of the largest state in the contiguous U.S. who doesn’t even know that it’s BALING hay and not BAILING hay. Sounds like a great idea. He’s DEFINITELY qualified, don’t you think?? This is EXACTLY why there are qualifications for this office in the first place. It’s too important to let a socialist moron in there to fuck everything up.

What an absolute retard boy.

The most hilarious thing about that photo is that here we are, THIRTY YEARS LATER and Clayton Tucker is STILL wearing a rancher costume and STILL living with his mother – just like the photo! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You know what the BEST PART of all this is, dear reader? Clayton Tucker will now dance like a monkey for me. He is going to have to go in there and CHANGE that word so he doesn’t look like a fucking amateur in front of the whole world. He has no choice. The minute he reads this, he will race to change his website. Luckily, I have this screenshot that will last forever.

So I command you to go do it, Clayton. Go in there and DANCE MONKEY!!! Go change that word so it’s spelled right, you idiot monkey-boy. Dance!!!

(Don’t try to tell us this is typo, either. A typo would be “baking” hay because the K is close to the L on the keyboard. No, you misspelled it because you are a fraud and didn’t think immediately of a BALE of hay. You used the far more common BAIL that a city slicker would use. You total clown shoe.)

Smooth-Brained Socialist Sperg Now Petrified Of Plastic. Will “Fight” To Get Rid Of It.

Well, your first huge lie is the “my home” part of that entire false statement. You don’t own a home. Your mom does, and you live upstairs.

As usual, Lady Clayton is about 5 years late to a “problem” that tens of thousands of much smarter guys already know about and are presumably working to improve. But Lady Clayton is SO ARROGANT that she thinks the ONLY person who can solve this problem is HER! Oh, and she has to be in some sort of government position to do it. LOL.

Yes, the 35-year-old fuckup who can’t find a job or an apartment is going to “get plastics out of our food system” – LOL! No word on how exactly he’s going to do this. I guess we’ll wrap everything in palm fronds and sell it that way?

Here is Lady Clayton not too long ago handing out chemically-laden shitflakes called “Froot Loops” to the local food bank. Notice he didn’t give them any “crops” from his fake “farm” or beef from his fake ranch. No, he gave them the shittiest, garbage filled cereal they make. Froot Loops.

Oh, and he did it with a WHOLE BUNCH of plastic bags!! LOL. Fucking MORON!

Doesn’t this clown know that the FIRST THING you do when you become a hippie, dippy tree hugger is get some REUSABLE HEMP BAGS to do your shopping with? Jesus Christ. He even sucks at FAKING everything. He’s terrible at everything in life – including lying and pretending to be what he’s not (cowboy, farmer, rancher, environmentalist, mechanic, water expert, energy expert, etc).

Lady Clayton is like a stupid, rich liberal housewife who thinks that banning plastic bags and straws and ruining life for the rest of us is going to save a couple sea turtles or something.

It’s not.

You know why? Because the disgusting pigs in India and China (over half the world’s population) literally dump truckloads of garbage into the ocean non-stop.

Oh, and you know what else?? Just HOURS after whining about all the plastic in the world, Clayton Tucker posted THIS:

This is hysterical for two reasons.

#1 – almost the minute he posted it, Trump flip-flopped on Epstein and this whole thing is moot since they are now being released. Late to the party AGAIN, Comrade! Of course, Joe Biden and the Dems had four years to “release the files” and didn’t. It took the GOP and Massey to get it done.

#2 – these bumper stickers (and the thousands of other bumper stickers he has had printed for his campaign) are made of….wait for it…VINYL. Which is plastic. You stupid asshole! All those hundreds of bumper stickers are going to be scraped off in shame in a few months and thrown into a landfill.

Classic commie Clayton move: whining about a “problem” that is already over with and then doing it with plastic bumper stickers, which he spent the day before crying out of his asshole about. BAHAHAHAHA. They don’t come any dumber than Clayton Tucker.

I can think of a lot of plastic that is definitely STILL laying around Clayton’s mom’s house – like the plastic garbage bins out front, the plastic bags you put the garbage in and the Bernie Sanders butt plugs Clayton shoves up his ass every night.

TikTok Zombie Brain Rot Confirmed By Major Study.

Oh, so it’s NOT an epidemic of “ADHD,” it’s a bunch of kids glued to TikTok and other 30-second garbage?? No way. Color me shocked!

A bombshell Griffith University study has validated a long suspected reality: short-form videos (SFVs) like TikToks and Instagram Reels are frying brains, slashing attention spans, and crippling cognitive endurance.

Such content is turning a generation into scatterbrained zombies unable to tackle real-world complexities amid algorithmic dopamine traps.

The meta-analysis, reviewing 71 studies and data from 98,299 participants, uncovered a “consistent pattern” of harm from heavy SFV consumption.

There were 71 studies, over 98k people: The more short-form videos teens and adults watched, the more they struggled with attention, self-control, and stress and anxiety.

Researchers concluded: “Overall, this meta-analysis revealed a consistent pattern linking higher SFV use with poorer cognitive performance, particularly in attentional control and inhibitory processes.”

They warn: “These associations may reflect cognitive strain or emerging disruptions in cognitive endurance and attentional regulation among heavier SFV users.”

“Given the central role of attention and executive functioning in academic, occupational, and daily goal-directed tasks, these patterns may indicate broader difficulties in sustaining mental effort over time,” the study further notes.

The study pinpoints risks for deep thinking: “Tasks requiring prolonged concentration (e.g., reading comprehension, complex problem solving) may be more difficult to sustain, especially as SFV platforms reinforce brief, high-reward interactions through rapid feedback and algorithmic content delivery.”

The study confirms that social media obsession is self-sabotage, breeding a dumber electorate hooked on snippets over substance—paving the way for real discourse to reclaim focus and rebuild what algorithms have wrecked.

Cotton Pickin’ Bullshit About Clayton Clan.

It wouldn’t be a complete bullshit article without the famous lie about grandpa Jed Clampet Tucker shooting squirrels and picking cotton just to survive the harsh Texas winters!

So would that be the grandpa that you told us five days ago was a lifelong Navy man? Did he come back from WWII on the weekends to shoot squirrels, you fucknut?

Or is it the other grandfather you said was a career pharmacist? Last I checked, you could easily support a family on those careers 50 years ago without shooting squirrels and picking cotton.

He is a military man, when I need attention on Veteran’s Day! He is a rancher when I’m telling a fake story to some idiot blogger! He is a poverty-stricken squirrel shooter when I need to tell a fake story to the poor “working man” in Texas.

You fucking dolt. You scumbag liar. You absolute piece of shit.

For the record, you would need to eat about 10 squirrels a day to survive. And that’s just for the man of the house. Call it 40 squirrels a day for the entire family. Sounds like a lot of bullshit to me. Was grandpa too fucking stupid to shoot a deer? It’s a WAY bigger target and carries a lot more meat for the cost of a bullet.

You fucking retard.

Socialist Deadbeat Who Lives With Mom Wants You To Believe He Comes From “Backbreaking Poverty” and Grandparents Who “Picked Cotton and Shot Squirrels To Survive”

Oh, also your grandpas were born in the mid-1920s. Which means their cotton picking years would have been the late 40s and early 50s – exactly when mechanized cotton picking was busy eliminating manual cotton picking.

1930s: John Rust developed the first cotton picker prototype, but early models were unreliable and expensive, slowing adoption.
World War II (1940s): Labor shortages during the war accelerated the push for mechanization, with International Harvester producing a successful commercial picker in 1944.
Post-War (1950s-1960s): Mechanical pickers became more efficient and common, leading to a dramatic shift. By 1960, about 60% of U.S. cotton was mechanically harvested, and hand-picking became a rarity, particularly in the West, followed by the South.

More Fake Rancher History – Part II

We already saw some very funny lies about Clayton Tucker in Part I – let’s look at some more:

He is very far from the “real deal.” He’s not a rancher or ANY type of worker, actually. Driving around wagging his finger at old people about monopolies and not getting paid is not work. It’s called “looking busy to keep mom off your back about being unemployed.”

This is the idiot who refused to buy a guard dog for his goats because he is “never around” – so his goats got decimated by coyotes in the infamous Great Coyote Massacre of May 2025.

He has ALSO promised a whole bunch of pipe dreams at his “ranch” that have STILL not happened in over a year! These include mini goat yoga, petting zoo and animal-assisted therapeutic session! LOLOLOL!! So much for hard work!

The mini goats are all dead, by the way.

Up at 6am hauling hay??? BAHAHAHAHA. Clayton Tucker is NEVER up at 6am. He admitted it himself more than a few times:

You can see that Pammy Ann has it figured out: Clayton Tucker is a total fraud. End of story.

The average parent in Lampasas sees WAY more sunrises than Clayton Tucker just by taking their kids to school. Clayton Tucker is a lazy bum who stays up late posting garbage on social media then sleeps in, because he can. He has no kids, no job and no responsibilities. He lives with mom. A typical parasitic socialist, in other words.

More lies to come!

Silver Spoon Pussy Clayton Tucker Claims He Was NOT Born With Silver Spoon In His Mouth, But Rather, A “Steel Wrench In His Hand.” No, Seriously!

This has to be THE MOST ABSURD pile of lies and horseshit ever concocted by Clayton Tucker about himself. It’s like he took every lie about himself and then turbocharged it for this moron blog author. I was in stitches reading this thing.

Here are some highlights – with the most ridiculous one first:

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Wrong on both counts, you numpty.

You were born and raised in Georgetown, an only child who was doted on, sent to college (paid for by parents at $80,000), and lived a comfortable upper-middle-class life. Dad AND mom both worked (mom for state gov) so you didn’t want for anything.

In fact, when you graduated, you galivanted around Asia on your parent’s dime, with a fancy camera likely bought by your parents, pretended to be a “world traveler and author” on mom and dad’s dime and you STILL LIVE WITH MOM at age 35 while not being gainfully employed.

**Comrade Clayton traveled around Asia on someone else’s dime and pretended to be a photographer while prancing around with elephants (and probably ladyboys, too!)**

But yeah, no silver spoon there!!

You were also NOT born with a steel wrench in your hands. Long-time readers know EXACTLY how ‘tarded you are with tools. We all saw how you “fixed” your tractor that one time, used the wrench incorrectlyand then held up a nut and called it a bolt! LOL. Yeah, you’re a real grease monkey, alright.

Then there is THIS huge pile of bullshit…..

No, he didn’t “work abroad to learn firsthand about multinational corporations.” He babysat Chinese toddlers for 9 months and then quit…

And no, he didn’t “come home and go back to the ranch” – he even admits that HIMSELF in this stupid blurb!!!

No, he came back and “worked” for a Bernie Sanders, communist splinter group called “Our Revolution” from about 2016 until roughly mid-2020 when he started to invent the fake rancher persona during Covid.

That was AFTER he was a fake cowboy, by the way.

So he graduated college around 2013, returned to Lampasas around 2016, and was STILL a commie Bernie Bro dork organizer (not a rancher) in 2019 and 2020.

So NO, he did not “come home and go back to the ranch” – far from it. Lies, lies and more lies.

More to come….

“Crowds” Dwindle. Sugar Rush Ends. The Spluttering, Doomed ‘Campaign’ Of Grifter Clayton Tucker.

As the “crowds” get smaller and smaller, the camera angles get tighter and tighter to hide the failure….

Yes, he drove all the way to Houston so one old guy in a green shirt could ignore him while he reads the menu. That is probably the moron who thinks lettuce costs more than gasoline.

It’s all going to shit in a hurry for Comrade Clayton, our local communist bum:

There are no new upcoming events. He hasn’t written any tripe on his Substack for seven weeks, despite promising to post every single Sunday. His own mother refuses to dirty her vehicle with a Tucker campaign bumper sticker.

Comrade Clayton is a dying star, a white dwarf heading for a black hole. That’s physics. It’s inevitable.

The window to officially file for candidacy closes in about 15 days, at which time I’ll work on getting his filing papers and suing to keep him off the ballot for failing to meet the qualifications of office.

He has STILL not filed a single financial disclosure to show where all the grifted money is being spent, despite scamming money off of old ladies for about five months now.

I think this is the photo that makes me laugh the hardest….

I’m not sure which part of this photo is funnier – that a 35-year-old bum who lives with his mom and can’t support himself is standing up on a stage lecturing anyone about anything OR the handful of shitlib morons sitting there actually wasting time listening to him.

If they had read here for the last 5 years, they’d know that EVERY SINGLE POSITION he has ever taken has been proven wrong. Jacking the minimum wage, ending fossil fuels, etc. All of them. He’s a veritable fountain of retardation and bad math.

All we have to look forward to now is speculating on what this aimless bum will do once his “campaign” ends in a mushroom cloud and he cards up his FOURTH failed campaign since 2020. Will he try to be a fatter, shorter version of Beto and just bum off his parents forever while losing random campaigns for the rest of his life until mom and dad die and leave him some money? Will he actually get a real job (HAHAHAHAHAHA!)?

We will know soon!!

Lettuce Listen To Some More Lies From Socialist Semen Sipper Clayton Tucker…

We have a new “man on the street” video from local far-left moron Clayton Tucker. In it, he tells a fake story about how “a guy in Dallas” ranted for 15 minutes that lettuce was too expensive!! This phantom guy said that “lettuce should not cost more than a gallon of gas!” – and Clayton Tucker (a fake farmer who has never grown a single thing on grandpa’s land he gets to use for free) repeated this ridiculous statement for all of us to hear and laugh at….

Actually, I take it back. This story is probably true. Because only the type of imbecile who would waste time attending a Clayton Tucker meet-and-greet would say something so retarded and false. The guy was probably 79 years old and had dementia and will be dead by next election anyways.

If Clayton actually lived on his own (instead of with mom) and did his own grocery shopping, he’d know that a head of lettuce ($1.50) doesn’t cost anywhere NEAR what a gallon of gas ($2.45) does….

But Clayton Tucker is a very stupid, sheltered and gullible boy who has never accomplished a single thing in his life at age 35. So he swallowed this “lettuce” story as easily as he swallows the cock of communism in general.

Some other points:

#1 – if you are so concerned about the price of lettuce, stick a few seeds in the ground and water it a little bit. You’ll have all the fucking lettuce you want, you lazy clown. Clayton Tucker has claimed to be a farmer many times over the last five years. So go farm some lettuce, you fucking mook.

#2 – a real man doesn’t care what lettuce costs because real men don’t eat lettuce. Women and homosexuals eat lettuce. If lettuce disappeared off the face of the earth tomorrow, I wouldn’t notice or care. Fuck lettuce. It is a useless plant. You can eat an entire giant head of lettuce and it’s only like 100 calories. Total waste of time and chewing. You could have a couple nice poached eggs with bacon instead.

Lettuce does not belong on hamburgers or any other sandwiches either. It’s basically just water. Salads? Fuck salads too. People who think they are eating a “healthy salad” just take some shitty useless lettuce and drown it in good stuff like ranch dressing, cheese, bacon crumbles, etc. You are better off making a nice big plate of scrambled eggs with cheese and bacon in it. It’s better for you, too.

There is a reason those hard-core vegetarians are all skinny and weak and miserable. Because man was meant to eat a ton of meat, eggs and fish. Not fucking lettuce.