Happy Killdozer Day.

RIP Marvin Heemeyer. Can’t believe it’s been 21 years already!

On June 4, 2004, starting at around 2:15 p.m., Heemeyer began by driving his armored bulldozer through Mountain Park Concrete, owned by the Docheff family. At the time of the attack, Cody Docheff was at the concrete plant, screening topsoil at the gravel pit, when he got a notification over his radio that there was an explosion at the precast concrete shop. Several employees attempted to stop the bulldozer by cramming objects into the treads in order to jam it, but to no effect. Cody Docheff, initially believing the dozer to be under remote control, fired a pistol at it and attempted to climb on top, to no effect, before engaging the bulldozer with his own front-end loader, again to no success.

During this time, Heemeyer fired multiple rounds at the loader. A deputy from the sheriff‘s office arrived on the scene, followed by a Colorado State Patrol trooper, who was fired upon by Heemeyer. More deputies arrived and began firing on the dozer, attempting to destroy the cameras with gunfire, but were unable to penetrate the three-inch (7.6 cm) bulletproof plastic. At one point, Heemeyer charged at a firing position occupied by several state troopers, who evacuated mere seconds before he demolished it, with one eyewitness noting that had they taken any longer, they would have been killed.

After the concrete plant, Heemeyer turned onto Agate Avenue and headed south toward town at approximately 5 mph (8 km/h). The officers at the plant requested a reverse 911 call be made to all residents in order to initiate evacuations. Undersheriff Glenn Trainer climbed atop the bulldozer and rode it “like a bronc buster, trying to figure out a way to get a bullet inside the dragon”. He also dropped a stun grenade down the bulldozer’s exhaust pipe, with no apparent effect, and was later forced to jump down to avoid debris.

Heemeyer then advanced on Granby Town Hall, which had been hosting a story hour for children in its library when the rampage began. All occupants were evacuated only moments before Heemeyer reached the building, an hour after the rampage began. Heemeyer turned to the Liberty Savings Bank, where he aimed at the corner office where a woman who was a part of the zoning board worked.

Police forces were unable to damage the bulldozer and so instead resorted to following it, jogging alongside it en masse. Heemeyer next targeted several street fixtures, such as trees and traffic lights, before moving on to the offices of the local newspaper, and in turn the homes of the Thompson family and their workplace. A scraper was brought up to try to stop the bulldozer, but it was pushed aside.

Heemeyer next targeted a propane storage yard, firing 15 bullets at the tanks, some of which contained 30,000 U.S. gal (110,000 liters). Police were forced to hurriedly evacuate all residents within a thousand yards of the site, including a senior housing complex. Heemeyer then fired upon nearby power transformers, with a high risk of igniting the tanks, but struggled to find a good angle. Heemeyer hit the transformers once and missed his other shots. “Had these tanks ruptured and exploded, anyone within one-half mile [800 m] of the explosion could have been endangered”, the sheriff’s department said. Twelve police officers and residents of a senior citizens complex were within such a range. After leaving, he was engaged by another scraper, which he similarly defeated.

At this point, local authorities and the Colorado State Patrol feared they were running out of options in terms of firepower, as the approximately 200 rounds fired by police had been ineffective up to that point, and that Heemeyer would soon turn against civilians in Granby. Governor Bill Owens allegedly considered authorizing the Colorado National Guard to use either an Apache attack helicopter equipped with a Hellfire missile or a two-man fire team equipped with a Javelin anti-tank missile to destroy the bulldozer. As late as 2011, Governor Owens’s staff vehemently denied considering such a course of action. Members of the State Patrol, however, claim that to the contrary, the governor did consider authorizing an attack, but ultimately decided against it due to the potential collateral damage of a missile strike in the heart of Granby being significantly higher than what Heemeyer could have caused with his bulldozer.

Heemeyer finally attacked the Gambles Store, targeting it due to the owner’s involvement in the hearings about the batch plant. As the bulldozer slowly plowed through the building, one of the previous scrapers was maneuvered onto the sidewalk behind Heemeyer’s path, blocking him from retreating back onto the street, after which the civilian operator exited the vehicle and fled to safety. Forced to continue forwards and unaware of a small basement on the property, Heemeyer dropped a tread into it, immobilizing himself. The radiator had also been damaged, and the engine was leaking, before failing. As such, it was noted that even if Heemeyer had been able to free himself, the bulldozer would not have been able to operate much longer. About a minute later, at 4:30 p.m. one of the SWAT team members, who had swarmed around the machine, reported hearing a single gunshot from inside the cab. It was later determined that Heemeyer had shot himself in the head with a .357-caliber handgun.

The Proof Is In The Potato Puddin’

So you don’t think the Dipshit Gene is for real and gets passed down from mother to daughter(s)?

Think again:

I saved that retarded post from last August because I KNEW it wouldn’t be long before it was scientifically shown that that dude WAS a man. I literally put it in my “false statements by retards” folder on my computer. It only took ten months to be proved right.

So it WASN’T lies and hate, like you virtue signaled. It was SCIENCE and FACTS.

Lookie there! A ‘micropenis”! Just like Bruce Haywood.

Perhaps these AWFL dummies should just STOP blabbering about ANYTHING that involves science or common sense. It’s embarrassing. Even though they never seem to get embarrassed for themselves, I’m embarrassed FOR them, that’s how bad it is.

In case you’re wondering just how MUCH of an advantage males have over females, here is a chart that even a Potato Head can understand!

Keep in mind that this was selected to be “close to women’s records.” By age 18 most of these are absolute blow outs which makes folks like “Lia” Thomas who transition in college (or later) the worst cheats of all.

We have male monsters crushing the dreams of female athletes and the “equity and fairness” crowd claps like seals. This isn’t progress. Biology isn’t hate, it’s reality. But in Woketopia, truth gets benched so feelings can win gold.

What’s so galling is how CERTAIN the potato sisters are of all their wrong facts. It’s truly astounding. From Covid masks to covid vaccines to Joe Biden’s “stutter” to BLM “statistics” – they are just 100% wrong over and over again. Then again, when your mom thinks autistic children are clairvoyant, you are pretty much doomed from birth to believe ridiculous shit. It’s that damned gene being passed along.

Speaking of insane mothers…..

Does being wrong repeatedly give these morons pause? Do they practice any introspection before they blabber stupidity all over social media? Of course not. They are on to the next pile of fake bullshit or hoax.

Say, that reminds me: don’t forget to go and get up-to-date on all those Covid ‘vaccine’ shots!!

Mayhem At City Hall!!!

Well, apparently there were some MAJOR FIREWORKS down at City Hall today after a “lengthy executive session”!

As reported by the Lampasas Dispatch, City secretary Becky Sims was unceremoniously canned by unanimous decision in what I am assuming was a HUGE blindside to her. Also, the duty fell to brand-new council member Dorothy Persons. LOL. Talk about baptism by fire!

“OK – just go on out there by yourself and deliver the kill shot, Dorothy! Prove you’re one of us!”

I have NEVER heard of a government worker at that level just get shitcanned so fast and furious in my life. Not to mention unanimously. Even that dipshit Gary Cox got to pretend he resigned five years ago when they showed him the door.

Never, ever in a trillion years did I ever think I’d see this. I even heard there was a police escort, though I cannot confirm that since I wasn’t there.

Normally, I’d have a few theories on this, but to be honest I am almost speechless. I can’t see Becky Sims embezzling or stealing or anything of that nature. I mean, what else could cause such a bolt of lightning out of nowhere to the head like that?

Well, I do have ONE theory. Of course, this is all conjecture. A conjecture as old as time: a good old-fashioned catfight.

Becky has been there quite a while – since at least 2020 in her current capacity. I got the impression she and Finley were quite tight. Like, she was Finley’s pet. Then Finley “retired” and the new chick came in.

My guess is Erin Corbell (rightfully) had to show she was boss right off the bat and let everyone know who was in charge. Sims, on the other hand, had been there probably 6 or 7 years, I think. Maybe she didn’t take kindly to the “new chick” bossing her around and thought “fuck her, I’ve been here longer than her, I know how things run.”

Then you inevitably end up with a catfight. Nobody can be more vicious in the workplace hierarchy than two females. Everyone knows that. Even most women will admit that working under a woman boss is total hell.

If my conjectures are true, then it’s gotta be ESPECIALLY galling to Sims because Corbell already declared she’s resigning! LOL. She’s a lame-duck City manager. So it would be an even bigger “fuck you” to fire Sims as an act of spite on her way out the door.

Then again, maybe Corbell had nothing to do with it and it was all City council. I have no idea. I’m just pulling a theory out of my ass.

Either way, there are probably a few very pissed off females who have an axe to grind. What better place to do it than on these very pages? Feel free to email lampasshole@protonmail.com with any dirt!

Wow – talk about disarray! City manager unexpectedly resigns after only a few months to be with her lover, Fred Flintstone. Mary Poche quit after only a month and blamed it on me. We STILL don’t have an Economic Development Director (and that’s a good thing!). Now they need to find a City secretary, not to mention the new clown job of “Recreation Director.” The Hostess House is a tornado of retardation as is the “Business Pork,” and I hear the City might need to go to court against S2M2 to deal with the Brodie Estates debacle that Misti Talbert created when she okayed $185,000 in tax dollars to be wasted on it! Oh, and the Fire Chief just resigned!

What a year 2025 is turning out to be!! I wonder what happens next? Here’s what NEEDS to happen next:

Mayor Herb needs to declare martial law in Lampasas, bring Van Berry and Rickie Roy out of retirement and give them total power over anything and everything and let them start kicking asses for a few months and clean house. It would be like Trump and Vance or Smith and Wesson. Actually it would be like that shitty Stallone movie where he gets thawed out and fights Wesley Snipes and everyone eats at Taco Bell.

We need to thaw out Berry and Roy and unleash them to restore order to the City and the power structure of this fine metropolis!!!

Order must be restored!!

Some Headlines For The Shitlibs…

Make sure you aren’t wearing a bathing suit at the public pool when you read all these. You may pop a massive boner. No joke.

Oh, and one more bonus headline:

[Just as a side note, OKLO got down to under $20 during the April Tariff Tantrums when the shitlibs thought the world was ending and hid like scared rabbits.]

So nice to have SMART men at the top who realize that wind and solar are total dead ends and nuclear is obviously the future. Nuclear plants generate power about 93% of the time over their lifespan – as opposed to maybe 25% for solar and 20% for wind. Nukes are the future, but you’ll never hear shitlib retards like Clayton Tucker or Bruce Haywood mention nuclear. Good thing they aren’t in charge.

All we need now is to cut the mountains of red tape and get reactor construction costs down. The chinks can build a modern reactor for around $3 billion. We spend closer to $15 billion. If the chinks can figure it out, so can we. Christ, we INVENTED this technology in the 1960s then let them steal it right from under our noses. Thanks Bill Clinton!

UPDATE: Dummy Socialist’s “Solution” From 18 Months Ago Results In Restaurant Closures. Just As I Predicted.

About 18 months ago, local socialist half-wit told us all that the “labor shortage” can be solved by simply hiking wages to ridiculous levels! Then you’ll have all the workers you want! Simnple!

Says the guy who has never employed a single person!

Of course, I explained at length why this was bound to backfire. As soon as wages get forced artificially high and the restaurant has to raise prices to pay for that, at some point traffic drops and the owner just closes the place and everybody then has no job…and thus, their wage is $0.

The name of the restaurant was Pollo Tropical, as I discussed 18 months ago. Let’s see how those “higher wages” worked out for them, shall we? Here are some articles from the last month or two….

Yet Another Fast Food Chain Closes More RestaurantsPollo Tropical just shut down its last three restaurants in Jacksonville, Florida.

This Popular Chicken Chain Just Abruptly Closed Multiple Locations—Here’s What We Know

Do I ever get tired of being right? No. Has Comrade Clayton EVER been correct about a single thing he has yammered about in the last 5 years? Also no. His list of retardation is long and distinguished:

Covid vaccines, covid masks, wind power, Colin Allred, Roland Gutierrez, going into goats instead of cattle, drought, Covid origin, Tim Walz, running against Dawn Buckingham, solar panels, Beto O’Rourke, mini goats, gun bans, coyote prevention, finding his own apartment, Ilhan Omar, running out of water by 2020, running for City council, and many many more!

We Always Fully Pasture Our Cows…Except All Those Times We Don’t.

Just more fallout from the Great Coyote Goat Massacre Of 2025 when Comrade Clayton was so shaken that he repeatedly contradicted all his previous statements in his comments sections about being a fake rancher.

Nothing new here – but it’ll look pretty silly if/when he runs for office next year….

Not to mention all the bales of alfalfa he has filmed himself feeding the pet goats – which clearly do not come from grandpa’s ‘ranch.’

Tough to keep all the lies straight, I reckon.

Speaking of running for office, he was asked about it point-blank by one of his octogenarian sycophants. So far he has refused to answer…

Just admit it already, Comrade. Stop being so coy.

Teats On A Bull

Well, we finally got dumped on with rain. I average about 9 to 10 inches out here for the month of May, and that last deluge put me right at 9 inches for the month. Of course, almost six of that fell between Monday and Wednesday night, but I’ll take it.

You know who DIDN’T take it? The “Community” garden! Because almost TEN MONTHS after they had the Tea Party Fundraiser for this thing, it remains useless as teats on a bull since it isn’t hooked up to anything. LOL.

Don’t worry though. June usually sees 3 or 4 inches for you to catch. After that, however, you’re gonna be shit outta luck. Better get cracking!

Serious question for the Community Garden: when those blackberry shrubs start poking branches though your fence, is it stealing if I pick a few and eat them? It is the “community” garden, after all. And they’d be OUTSIDE your fence at the time of picking.

Rumors Were True: City Manager Resigns.

I heard this rumor a few days ago, but had a hard time believing it was true.

Alas, we got confirmation yesterday when the City posted that they are looking for a new City manager on their website.

The reason? Well, that was part of the rumor as well:

It’s like Buttercup and Prince Humperdink. Or maybe Shrek or something. I guess Erin has found true love. But since “Greasy” Chris doesn’t live within the City limits, Erin would be in violation of one of the requirements of the job. So she’s giving up a cushy job with $140k salary and great benefits to live with Greasy Chris, or so the rumor goes.

My god. I’m not sure we wanted a City manager with such poor decision-making skills in the first place. Total black eye for City council with that pick. I’ll be honest, when I heard she left her last job in Brady because of a “toxic work environment” my antennae went up big time.

Greasy sure had this whole thing blow up in his face. He probably thought he had a nice connection to City contracts and instead it looks like he gets a new roommate and zero connections. LOL. I’ll be shocked if they are still an item by the end of the year. But who knows, stranger things have happened.

Note to council: maybe pick a dude this time.

About That “Water Researcher” Title…

Well, well, well. The Clayton Tucker lies and exaggerations certainly go back a LOOOONG ways, don’t they? All the way back to around June and July of 2012, as it turns out!

I always knew the “water researcher” bullshit on his resume was complete and utter nonsense. He was a junior in college at the time, and the entire “program” lasted approximately 41 days – of which one week was spent “training” in Pittsburgh. Not exactly enough time to have the slightest clue about any subject – especially when everyone over there speaks Chinese.

It certainly sounds like there was no hard science in young Clayton’s college career. Just a bunch of political “science,” which isn’t science at all. You can read the article here:

A Rare Glimpse of China

You don’t want to miss the awesome photo either!

Christ. No wonder the Chinese laugh at us.

Here’s my favorite part, where it basically admits this was all some “political science” bullshit and had absolutely nothing to do with any REAL research. Oh, and it was all in China.

In addition to the Chinese classes he has taken at Southwestern, Tucker said two other classes helped prepare him for the program. One was theTexas Politics Internship Program taught by Political Science Professor Tim O’Neill and the other was the Japanese Politics class taught by Political Science Professor Alisa Gaunder. Tucker said the Texas Politics class covered a lot about environmental policies in Texas

The program began with a week of training at the University of Pittsburgh, and then participants headed to China June 20.  

Tucker was assigned to apolitical science research team that included a political science professor from the University of Pittsburghand three other students − one from Middlebury, one from the University of Kansas, and one from Cornell. The team spent two weeks in villages along the Yellow River Corridor conducting research on the relationships between local economic development, overdependence on coal mining, the central government, and China’s water supply. Several Chinese students helped the team with conducting interviews, and finding and translating documents.

Wow. Sounds like hard-hitting research! A REAL LIVE political “science” professor was there to guide your research! Impressive. Now I see where his complete lack of anything grounded in facts, mathematics or hard science comes from. He never touched on any of that stuff in college. It was ALL political bullshit from day one.

Oh, also – Alisa Gaunder was educated at Berkeley, in case you are wondering where Comrade Clayton got his communist streak from.

I remember when I was in college, the three big joke majors were (1) political science (2) communications and (3) psychology. This was in 1988, before they had invented the current 27 joke majors like gender studies and all of that crap.

We did get another nice nugget from this article (and another):

Tucker said participating in the program has reinforced his interest in Chinese international relations and Taiwan issues.He hopes it will prove to be a good stepping stone to further studies in graduate school.  

After graduating from Southwestern,Tucker hopes to attend graduate schoolin either Taiwan or China to study Mandarin.

Ah! Graduate school! Now THAT is something I definitely would have expected. The boy who wants to be a professional student forever, becoming more and more book learned in total bullshit subjects and getting letters after his name so he can labor under the delusion he’s super duper smart – and never having to get his hands dirty doing any real work.

[Sounds like someone else we know! “Doctor” Ryan Mata!]

I wonder what happened to that dream? Did good old Dad put his foot down on ANOTHER $80,000 in tuition wasted just to pad Clayton’s resume? Was he not smart enough to get in?

Whatever the reason, it is VERY clear that all this “fifth-generation” rancher bullshit was nowhere on the radar up until about four years ago when he realized he needed to put SOMETHING on the resume when he ran for office!

Here’s another blurb about his dreams a few years later…with no mention of ranching yet again!

Once a liar, always a liar. He’d be a great politician – if he could just get elected!!