Apparently the socialist bum is now asking strangers to donate either a dime, $1 or $10 for every year he has lived with his mother – an arrangement which continues to this day!

Spoiler: he cannot “bust monopoliles” because he is not an anti-trust lawyer and never will be.
The only thing he COULD do to lower food prices is produce some food on that land grandpa lets him play around on with his goats, but he’s too lazy to do that. He has NEVER GROWN a single crop at age 35. He has had ONE pet cow for sale since last September – and it’s still listed for sale.
Water management in Texas is handled by a few different agencies – and Ag Commissioner is NOT one of them.
So he just told three lies in order to grift more money from senile old shitlib ladies.
In honor of him turning 35 years old and living with mother, let’s see if I can find 32 more lies he has told and make it 35 total….
Here are the ones I can think off offhand:
Tried to pay off LISD school lunch debt
Donated to flood victims last July
Came back from China to run the family farm
Has special knowledge of energy policy
Lost his health insurance because he decided to run for office in 2019
Is a farmer
Switched to goats from cattle because “global warming”
Has severe food allergies to ultra-processed food
Is running for Ag Commissioner because of fake food allergies
Born with a wrench in his hand.
Promised to sell meat on his website
His leg “almost got crushed by equipment” one day
He was going to start goat yoga
His family shot squirrels and picked cotton to survive
He lobbied the Texas legislature for healthcare

He crafts important free trade deals.
Told us buzzards don’t eat live animals
Told us there is Windex in the milk supply
Told us there is are dangerous chemicals in our food called “glyophates” – there is no such thing.
He used to fight fires with his pawpaw when he was a little kid
Is involved “in international trade”
Told us he was a cowboy and then moved his hat around the room in photos for emphasis.

That he sampled the seafood offerings of a winning 4H Club
Was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth despite never working a real job.
His favorite meal is brisket
Lied on FEC forms about who his employer is
Was going to start a petting zoo
OK, I’m too lazy to count all that but it’s damn close to 35 lies. Happy birthday, you pathetic goatwanking piece of shit!!