Cattle futures in Chicago surged to fresh record highs on Friday. Must be those greedy, greedy ranchers like Clayton Tucker.
Just kidding. Clayton himself said he decided to focus on goats because global warming is about to make the whole planet more arid and goats do better in arid, shitty conditions.
(Is that the same global warming that made the artic ice grow 26% in the last 12 years?)
No seriously, he really did say that [2:59:30 mark]
I have marked a red line on the exact moment Professor Tucker the Genius Fifth-Generation Rancher decided to go into goats. It was basically just before cattle prices went into the stratosphere.
Then again, he has claimed that they were “always a cattle family,” too. Well, except for his dad, who was an aeronautical engineer. And his mom, who worked for the government. But SOMEWHERE down the line were some cotton-picking, squirrel-shooting ranchers – you can take that to the bank!
He can’t blame Big Ag for this one because the Live Cattle futures contract at the CME is about a pure free-market as you get. Anyone can buy or sell futures based on their own opinions. Even Hillary Clinton!
In the end, it all comes down to supply and demand – and greedy fake ranchers like Clayton Tucker have been selfishly shrinking their herds to artificially jack up prices for consumers, obviously! Talk about GREEDY!!!
Then again, given how many animals Clayton tends to kill before they are fully grown, this might just be a case of gross incompetence instead of greed.