Ass Hat, No Cattle

Time for yet another Baby Seal Bashing. I do this for the same reason chicks go to the spa and get massages and facials. It’s therapeutic and makes them feel rejuvenated.

I also do this so that when this idiot runs for office again someday, his opponent has a massive treasure trove of evidence about how full of shit he really is and what a pathetic socialist bum he really is.

CHALLENGE: Pick out the “5th generation rancher” in the photo. The one who “always wears his iconic cowboy hat” and is a farmer, rancher AND cowboy!

Kristi Lara = HUGE Bernie-loving commie loser

What’s that? There IS no rancher in the photo? Give the man a cigar! You are 100% correct!

You see, this was in 2019, BEFORE he had invented his fake rancher persona. Back THEN, he was just a spoiled trust fund commie nerd who went to Bernie Sanders rallies with other dorks, while living with mommy.

Don’t believe it? Allow me to show you hard evidence….

#1 – he forgot he was a rancher when he ran against Dawn Buckingham and got his dick kicked in the dirt…

He IS (present tense) a socialist agitator living in rural Texas. No mention of ranching. Water researcher? More bullshit.

#2 – here is more evidence from June 2nd, 2017 when Trust Fund Tucker tried to get appointed to an open City council seat and told The Dispatch all about himself [fourth column, bottom]. Know what he said?

“Clayton Tucker has lived in the city about one year. A 2013 graduate of Southwestern University, he is a teacher and writer.”

Was NOT a teacher OR a rancher in 2017 – just an unemployed bum. No mention here of being a “rancher”…again.

Wait, what??? He had only been in the City for “about one year”? How was he ranching if he wasn’t here in Lampasas on the family farm/ranch? The “5th generation rancher” only arrived in Lampasas in 2016?? How confusing.

Luckily, Trust Fund Tucker clears it all up in the next sentence when he tells us he is a “teacher and writer”. Oops! Zero mention of being a 5th generation rancher! Must have slipped his mind.

[He was not a teacher either, but that doesn’t stop him from lying to the Dispatch]

That is THRICE now he has been caught red-handed telling the public he is something OTHER than rancher or farmer. The third time was when he filled out the form to run for City council in 2021 and filled out the OCCUPATION box with “Political Organizer” – apparently forgetting AGAIN that he was a rancher!

So as it turns out, this moron is no hat AND no cattle!

Well, he may have NO hat and NO cattle, but he has “several goats“! Surely THAT is proof you are a real rancher.

Tell me you aren’t a rancher without telling me you aren’t a rancher!

Yeah, lots of “5th generation ranchers” who have been ranching for years and years go ape shit over a few baby goats being born. They can’t contain themselves and they name them all and then post endless photos on their social media accounts, too!

Surely a “5th generation rancher” has seen hundreds, nay THOUSANDS, of animals born. Yet she posted non-stop on social media about this like a 13-year-old girl from the Big City spotting her first deer out in the countryside.

Last year was a brutal one, if you made your living off of the land. We had 100-degree temps in early May, non-stop wind in April and May, close to zero rain in April and May also. By August, REAL ranchers were hurting badly.

REAL ranchers were posting stuff like this:

FAKE ranchers were posting stuff like THIS…

Clayton Tucker of Lampasas: fake hat, no cattle, “several goats” and many, many, many lies.

Say, that reminds me of a joke I heard once…

Two fake ranchers, Clayton and Beto, are driving down a dirt road when they come across Penny the donkey with her head stuck in the fence.

Beto says “Man I haven’t had any pussy in months!” He jumps out of the truck Prius and just starts banging the donkey like there’s no tomorrow.

Then Beto looks over at Clayton and says “Hey, do you want any of this?” Clayton replies “Sure….but do I have to put my head in the fence?”