Not content with pretending to be a cowboy, a rancher, and a farmer, Clayton Tucker is now pretending to be a salt-of-the-earth, country-fried rube.
The fake rancher was interviewed by local news when joke candidate for Lt Governor Mike Collier showed up in Lampasas last week to a roaring crowd of about 14 people:
You ain’t scared of no one? Buddy, with your diminutive height and twiggy arms, you should be scared of everyone…including teen girls.
He then continued his hillbilly-bonics speech pattern:
Hey now! Don’t forget he ALSO ran unsuccessfully for Texas House District 54. That’s a three-time loser, for those keeping score:
Contrary to his declaration that he “ain’t scared of nobody”, he was apparently too scared to face a primary opponent and withdrew from the race before it even really got started.
He is also petrified of the Wuhan respiratory virus – even though he is at practically zero risk as an under-35-yo female. So scared, he got several vax shots AND still wears a mask!
He’s scared of other stuff too. Like paying his own way in life and earning an honest living:
Hey dummy – the hospital is STILL going to bill someone. There is no freedom from the bill. You just want someone else to pay it.
What he REALLY means here is “freedom from responsibility” and freedom to mooch off of others the same way he mooches off his parents by living in their upstairs bedroom at 208 S Western Street.
He means freedom to fuck around traveling on mom and dad’s dime and finding his inner self and posing with pachyderms. Notice there is no mention of ranching, farming or being a cowboy in his biographical notes:
It’s all part of his fake persona to convince moron lib voters he’s something he’s not. It’s the same reason he moves his cowboy hat all around his parents’ upstairs bedroom when doing fake interviews online – something I busted him for previously.
With these latest antics, Clayton Tucker proves once again he ain’t (see what I did there?) a rancher or a farmer or a cowboy or any kind of rugged, salt-of-the-earth, hardscrabble laborer. He’s just a doughy, pasty, effeminate trust fund nerd who still lives at mom and dad’s house and worships Bernie Sanders.
Sad little boy. A complete embarrassment to the fine town of Lampasas.