Comrade Clayton was kind enough to provide us all with his Year in Review for 2023. Unfortunately, it reads like that annual Christmas letter you get from your annoying, overachieving Aunt Sally about how awesome her life and kids are when you know the REAL story about how they are on the verge of bankruptcy and the kids are in rehab for heroin. So we’ll have to pick through this tripe and correct Comrade Clayton’s lies and exaggerations.
So much to unpack just in the first blurb! At least he is FINALLY using the name of the “ranch” after all these years. The cat is out of the bag, apparently.
He is “considering” buying a few cows to “reinvigorate” the herd? First of all, why would the herd need “reinvigorating” if you have been around for five generations? But even more baffling is why you want to increase the herd at all. You just told us a few months ago that the cattle industry is “monopolized” and that’s it’s near impossible for a family ranch to compete! Especially a family ranch ostensibly run by a lobotomized socialist ignoramus…
So apparently the goat market is MUCH better! So much better, in fact, that Comrade Clayton took all of four goats to market this year! I’m no ranching expert but by my math, that is about $400 worth of goats you sold this year. Or enough to keep gas in your truck for about two months with a little left over for mineral licks. Congratulations! Good thing you live rent-free in mom’s upstairs bedroom.
But socialist Comrade Clayton is not deterred by selling only four goats all year! He is plowing ahead! He is “taking classes on ranch business structure/dynamics,” whatever that means. Sounds like a lot of absolute bullshit gobbledygook buzzwords and a way for Comrade Clayton to hide in a classroom/zoom call to look busy for mom rather than going out in the dirt and learning shit the hard way.
After FIVE generations of ranchers toiled over there on RX Ranch, I’d think the “business structure” and the “dynamics” of the ranch would be pretty well established by now, wouldn’t you? As far as I can tell, the entire “structure” is Comrade Clayton playing around on grandpa’s land and taking pictures of goats for a few dozen old, lonely, low-IQ women on Facebook.
The “dynamics” are pretty simple too: the goats have sex with each other all on their own, some kids pop out randomly and shock Comrade Clayton with their arrival, a good number are then killed by the dreaded Texas VultureBuzzards, and then the rest frolic for photos on Facebook – where they live happily-ever-after and are NEVER slaughtered and butchered for meat. Seems pretty straightforward to me!
He started taking MORE classes on “regenerative agriculture” too! So many classes! He must be super smart.
I’d never heard of “regenerative agriculture,” to be honest. It immediately sounded like one of those bullshit fads that will make your products cost 3x more (and thus uncompetitive) and does nothing for the environment – kind of like wind power. Turns out I was right. But don’t tell Comrade Clayton! Let’s watch him waste hours and hours on that shit.
Speaking of shit, don’t forget about the renovations he did on the barn:
Impressive fascia board! He has penciled in repairs to the other side for 2025, no doubt.
Finally, Comrade Clayton tells us that he “lobbied for new laws” and that “WE were able to pass much-needed reforms.” This is the funniest of them all. What laws? What reforms? You don’t bother to mention details, of course. You are not an elected officeholder right now, so I fail to see how “WE” passed any reforms.
What do you mean by “I lobbied”? Do you mean “I wrote an email to my state senator which he promptly threw into the garbage”? Lobbyists generally have a lot of money behind them to get the attention of the politicians and buy their way in. You have none, so I’m not sure why you think your “lobbying” resulted in anything at all. But is IS a very funny delusion!
Part II coming soon….