Tag: Porkchop Kuehne

Big Gov Liberal GreedPig Cathy Kuehne Wants To Make Sure She Extracts Every Last Penny From You Chumps.

Fresh off of approving the absolute maximum tax rate they could get away with (by .0001) without letting the voters vote on it, Councilwoman Cathy “Porkchop” Kuehne turned her sights to squeezing even more pennies out of the local taxpayers…

As usual, she sees a big problem where there is none. Then again, she’s not the brightest bulb. She fell for the masking and social distancing thing hook, line and sinker…

…and told us all repeatedly how she “puts herself at risk every DAY” just by being a teacher and risking catching that awful plague known as Covid. The same one she caught previously but didn’t even know she had…

Anyways, the current “big problem” is that there may be people renting out rooms on AirBnB here in town and NOT PAYING THE CITY ANY TAXES! The horror! God forbid you rent your home out for a little extra pocket change without paying your tithes to the City and their HOT (Hotel Occupancy Tax) fund.

For one thing, the HOT fund is so stuffed to the gills with money ALREADY, that morons like Kuehne are using it to fund ridiculous projects like the $1.4 MILLION Hostess House “facelift”. They also throw money at local gardening idiot Janet “Crazier” Crozier out of this fund and are currently debating giving her ANOTHER $12,000 or so, so she can buy rain catch tanks for a garden that is already hooked up to City water and provided nearly free ($35 per year).

When you waste piles of money like that, you are not hurting for dough. If Kuehne got her way, she’d have the Rental Police at your door demanding her cut so she can piss it away on more stupid projects. Fuck all that.

She also brought up the 2024 Eclipse as a reason to “get in front of this”.

Lampasas (through absolute dumb celestial luck) happens to be the #4 spot in the WORLD for watching the April 8, 2024 Eclipse. The path of totality literally passes DIRECTLY over us and our weather on April 8th is historically sunny and clear. I have confirmed this myself by recording the weather here on my compound on every single April 7,8, and 9 for the last 5 years running.

I have been planning for this for over two years already. I have bought tons of eclipse glasses so when they run out on Amazon, I can price gouge morons like Kuehne for $100. I plan on advertising spots on my many acres of land for a LOT of money for any national travelers who want a great spot to watch the eclipse. I will then gouge them for beers and food and everything else they need, because I will be stocking up way ahead of time.

I will not pay taxes on any of it. Suck my balls.

I’m doing this because, unlike Porkchop Kuehne, I have actually been to three total solar eclipses in my life. They are complete and utter mayhem and rooms/space/food/drink are at an absolute premium. This city has no idea what it is in for. These people are insane. They come from all over the world to get a perfect picture and they will murder you if you even talk to them during totality. People are just going to literally stop their cars on 183 for 20 minutes to watch and all your planning and bullshit will mean nothing. You will have 80,000 people all trying to get to the same place at the same time.

Then you will have 80,000 people all trying to leave at the same time. They won’t hang around and “shop on the square” and buy knick-knacks and shit to “support the local economy”. They are locusts. The just need to eat, drink, piss and sleep (maybe) and drain the gas station for the long drive home.

Think of the worst concert or sporting event you have ever been to. Maybe the Superbowl. Then multiply it by 10.

I’ve been there. I suggest you all load up on food, liquor, beer, gas and anything else by March 20th and plan on not being able to buy anything for 3 or 4 days without a massive hassle. It will be like a Covid lockdown.

I was gouged at all of these events, because there is essentially infinite demand from the lunatic eclipse chasers and there is limited supply of space/rooms/gas/beer/roads/restaurants.

It is simple economics – something Porkchop is quite ignorant of, because she has been a government employee her entire life.

But this time I get to be the gouger instead of the gougee. Nobody is going to rob me of that. Least of all a cretin like Kuehne.

This is a chance for EVERYONE in town (not just hotel and restaurant owners) to make a good buck and gouge the shit out of douchebags from New York, Chicago, Tokyo, London, etc. Kuehne can’t stand that. The government MUST get their cut.

Thankfully, new councilman Davis Keele put Porkchop in her place and said it wasn’t a priority! Good man. Looks like maybe we now have TWO non-goldfish on City council.

Just say NO to Kuehne’s money grab and liberal big government GREED.

You Gotta Love Porkchop Logic

Something pretty hilarious happened at last night’s council meeting.

Early in the meeting, Finley got up there and told City council that, yes, the recycling program loses between $8,000 and $10,000 per year but that it “provides tremendous value” to the City. Not a single council member questioned this demonstrably false statement – especially not Cathy “Porkchop” Kuehne. She just sagely nodded her head as mayor pro-tem.

Less than an hour later, the City Finance Director delivered her report. In it was the news that a company who gave the City a $1,990 bid for a maintenance contract actually made a mistake and the NEW amount was going to be $9,964 – or a difference of about $8,000.

Kuehne, who has blithely okayed wasteful spending that has literally run into the MILLIONS (Hostess House, pavilion, recycling program, free money to developers, ‘business’ park, pre-fab bathroom at Campbell Park, etc) had the audacity to actually speak up and question this $8,000 expenditure! LOL.

She actually uttered the phrase “that’s a BIG chunk of change” [go to 42:55 mark]

So to recap: the City locking in an annual $10,000 loss on an idiotic recycling program forever is just fine. The City wasting $1.4 million to give the Hostess House a “face life” is just fine. The City giving Finley a $10,000 raise in the middle of a pandemic is just fine. The City spending $32,000 extra on an elevator for OCH remodel to “keep it local” is just fine. The City blowing over $6 million on a “goat pasture” that has zero tenants is just fine.

But an $8,000 one-time error by a company on a bid is “a HUGE chunk of change”

This woman seriously has a screw loose. She has no business sitting on City council. Somebody, for the love of God, please run against this nitwit for her council seat.

Cathy Kuehne Has Manure For Her Brains. She Literally Voted To WASTE $24,000

Porkchop Kuehne put on a display of retardation last night that was SO profound, it can only be explained by a scoop of feces between her ears.

One of last night’s MANY huge projects being discussed was the pavilion at Campbell Park. The original estimate last year for this pavilion was $200,000. By August of this year, the estimate had actually DROPPED to $150,000. This is unheard of in Lampasas City government – as you can see from the giant increases in the other projects:

Earlier this week, we got a look at the innards of this pavilion project and learned that Janet “Crazier” Crozier is demanding the City blow $10,200 on two 5,000-gallon tanks to store rain from the pavilion roof for her “community garden” nearby – despite the fact she is ALREADY hooked into City water and gets 5,000 gallons per month for FREE. The total cost of this project for last night’s vote was pegged at $175,885 – which includes $10,200 to be wasted on two water tanks.

Right before the vote, Zac Morris made a second valiant effort to rethink that $10,200 for water tanks. He suggested maybe there was better use for that money, since Crazier Crozier ALREADY has plenty of water there at nearly zero cost.

That’s when Porkchop made her move and forever captured the title of Extreme Queen Moron.

Porkchop noted that just a couple months ago, the estimate was $200,000 and that NOW it was “only” $175,885. Not wanting the City to actually save a single fucking penny, god forbid, she actually MADE A MOTION to INCREASE that number BACK TO $200,000.

No, I am not kidding.

There was no reasoning for it. No suggestion about what to spend it on. Just “spend more”. Literally.

So instead of looking at that $175,885 and thinking “shit, that’s $26,000 more than the original cost from a year ago” she instead said to herself “hey! That is a $24,000 savings off the estimates from two months ago! We need to spend all that shit IMMEDIATELY. On something! Anything!”

Truly mind-boggling. I’ve never seen anything like it in all my years of watching moron politicians waste public money.

Of course, nobody made a single peep about the $10,200 being wasted on two unneeded water tanks. Nobody asked about the further costs that will be incurred making those tanks useful with a pump, trenching, pipes, electricity, etc. They just dutifully voted unanimously to blow $200,000 and find something to spend it on. So not only did they NOT eliminate $10,200 in unneeded and wasteful spending on a lunatic’s pet project, they actually tacked on ANOTHER $24,000 just for the hell of it.