I used to joke that all the Covidiots back in 2020, 2021, and even 2022 (many were still wearing masks then) were “scared rabbits” afraid of their own shadows. Turns out, they were always like that. It’s just that Covid gave them an excuse to turn their insane hypochondria and neuroses into a “virtue” in their confused brains.
Nobody exemplified this more than Melissa “Crazy Cane Lady” Johnson – who I skewered weekly. Of course, we found out AFTER Covid that she pretty much wore a mask all her life because “allergies” or something. She neglected to mention this when chiding all of us and explaining that wearing a mask was “no big deal.”
Of course, now the clowns are all admitting what WE knew all along: the masks were useless talismans. Worn only by virtue-signaling douchebags like Johnson, Fitzharris, Tucker and Haywood:
Like all asshole liberals, Johnson cannot stop telling people what to do and just mind her own business. This is likely because she HAS no business. She appears to be a weirdo hermit who spends most of her life inside pretending to be a member of Starfleet Command – emerging only rarely to shake her cane at the clouds or complain about the 2024 eclipse.
Now, Melissa “Safety Patrol” Johnson lets us know she is STILL in charge of everyone’s safety by taking a shit on a cool Christmas idea posted on Lampasas County Breaking News:
If I was 25 years younger, I’d LOVE to be one of those guys in the reindeer costumes being lifted up and down on that rig and pretending I was running into the sky. Is it possible I’d fall off and hurt myself? Sure, because I’d have 5 or 6 cups of eggnog and possibly a THC gummi beforehand.
But guess what? I’m a grown man and can make my own decisions. But meddling old crones cannot stand that thought…
Fuck your permits. This is America. I grew up in South Florida in the 1970s. People drove down Main Street in swamp buggies drinking beers from an OPEN CONTAINER in the 4th of July parade – back when America was still proud and great and not filled with lunatics who don’t know what gender they are and safety nannies wielding canes.
I think this idea is cool as shit. If I was a little kid, I’d probably fall for that and remember it for the rest of my life. That’s what make this time of year so much fun – cool stuff like that. Because you’re only a gullible kid for a short period of time. Then you grow up to be a meddling, miserable, mask-wearing cunt who can’t keep her nose out of everyone’s business, right?
I wish I owned a big earth mover like that, because I would totally make this happen. Then I’d drive that fucker right down the street to Melissa Johnson’s hovel and I’d lift my drunken reindeer guys over her driveway over and over again until she lost her mind.