Tag: Meatball Fouts

Remember The Corvive Huckster Jeremy “Meatball” Fouts? He’s On Roids Now.

About five years ago, a lot of local citizens got hoodwinked into an MLM con called “Corvive.” They were all going to look like Adonis and make a million bucks. Instead, they are all fat and broke.

Anyways, as I was perusing some old posts, I wondered if Fouts had been arrested or bankrupted yet for being such and complete and utter scumbag. Lo and behold, he’s STILL a huckster but now he’s on steroids!!

Here is Jeremy “Meatball” Fouts five years ago when he was conning a bunch of Lampasans, pictured with convicted sex offender “Boobie” Miles (who also pushed all the Corvive crap)….

Short, fat and thoroughly unimpressive. I routinely ridiculed him for being so out of shape for a guy who promised his shitty potions were transformative and original.

Here he is now:

Here’s what our completely ordinary protein powder can do for you!!

OK, midget Liver King! LOL.

He also now has some silly-assed “life coach” podcast thing where he dishes out deep and profound nuggets like this:

“Every moment of the day we get to determine our mindset. Deciding whether we have a positive or negative attitude will immediately influence your world.”

Wow. Transformative and compelling.

He must be doing SUPER DUPER well with all the Corvive and life coach shit because his Twitter now has 655 followers! I think I have more followers on one of my burner accounts I use to harass commies.

So sad.

Have You Ach13ved Your Massive Weight Loss?

Well, we are 13 weeks into the new year! You know what that means!! All the CorVive Ach13ve people have completed their 13 weeks of taking overpriced laxatives, overpriced protein powder and imitation Red Bull powders….and it only cost them about $1,000!! What a deal!

Well?? Did you all lose 40 pounds? Judging from the complete lack of crowing, boasting and photo proof on the Internet, I am guessing not.

Gone are the daily photos of salads. Gone are the weekly photos at the gym. Forgotten, like every other New Years resolution. I guess taking overpriced CorVive potions alone DOESN’T lead to easy weight loss. I guess you actually have to (wait for it….) eat less and exercise more to lose fat! Who knew??

Well…..I did.

The average person who wants to lose fat and who exercises more and eats less (i.e. runs a caloric deficit) can expect to lose 2 pounds a week over the long run…and even THAT is very difficult. I know because I have done it twice in my life. I lost 25 pounds in 3 months the first time and 20 pounds in 3 months the second time (15 years later). It is not easy. You DO have to make sacrifices. I drank a little less beer, skipped chicken wings….and joined a GYM (a word that Jeremy “Meatball” Fouts has NEVER used in his video sales pitches, to my knowledge) and exercised more.

What I DIDN’T do is take some overpriced magic beans, waste $1000 and assume the fat would just go away. That is complete bullshit, obviously. If it wasn’t, all the Eager Beaver CorVivers in town (as well as Meatball Fouts) would be slim and trim and ripped right now, down 40 or 50 pounds in 13 weeks. None of them are.

So probably the BEST case is you wasted $1,000 on CorVive and are down 20 pounds since Jan 1st: congratulations! You could have done the EXACT same thing without CorVive (like eating nothing but Twinkies) and saved $1,000.

Most likely, you are about the same weight you were on Jan 1st, your $1,000 is now nestled in the pocket of that scumbag Fouts, and you have a bunch of magic beans in your garage right now you are trying to figure out how to unload on the next Greater Fool. Good luck!!