Tag: manatee

I Didn’t Think I Could Hate 300-Pound Sack Of Shit Bruce Haywood More Than I Already Do. I Was Wrong.

I shouldn’t be surprised that our local manatee is a follower of Dan Blather. Blather has always been a magnet for retards:

Dan Rather is upset about people possibly lying on their taxes? This is a guy who got FIRED from his news jobs for lying over and over. He’s one of the biggest pieces of shit there are. I can’t believe he’s not dead yet, either. What is he, like 101 years old? Fuck him.

I’m sure Blather doesn’t know this (because he has high-priced tax experts to do HIS returns) but with about 60,000 pages of tax code, even the most honest people get fucked by the IRS constantly – and many lives are ruined:

Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk aren’t going to be audited. YOU are – you, the little guy.

Bruce is literally GLEEFUL over that prospect. This 300-pound sack of shit (who HIMSELF hasn’t paid taxes in 23 years and therefore living off of those of us who DO) is actually GLEEFUL that the IRS will “go back decade after decade” to try and find a misplaced dollar or two so they can bankrupt you with ridiculous fines and penalties.

Let that sink in. Bruce, who is kept in Whataburger and Krab Kingz junk food by YOU the taxpayer isn’t happy with that arrangement. He wants your nuts squeezed harder by a bunch of IRS scumbags.

Bruce, you are one numb cunt. I really hope all your fast food, vaccines and booster shots put you in an early grave. I’m gonna dance all over it, you fat turd.

Piece of shit is gleeful your life may be ruined because you didn’t get enough stolen from you for lazy fat cunts like him

Local Manatee Gleeful Over Mask Edict

Local half-ton moron Bruce Haywood is positively giddy over the recent (likely-unconstitutional) mask order made by our idiot governor to protect us against a very minor threat (a bad flu). Bruce just can’t understand why we don’t all bow down and obey an order based on total bullshit for a virus that has a IFR rate of .04%

Boot licking Wuhan Flu mask sycophant

What if tomorrow they suggest you wear swim goggles too, Bruce? To protect your eyes…because 3 people on the planet caught Wuhan Flu through their eyes. Would you start wearing them immediately and unquestionably? I’m sure you would.

What if some lovable cute young photogenic girl got into a car crash last week and died…and it was discovered her tires were dangerously underinflated. What if Governor Dipshit then decreed that every car owner was ordered to get up at 2am to check their tire pressure or face fines of $500? Would you do that too, Bruce? I bet you would – and you’d say “what’s the big deal? It can’t hurt to do this!”

You obey because you are a moron and a sheep, Bruce. You do not comprehend statistics and math. There is ZERO scientific evidence that masks work against a tiny virus and EVEN IF THEY DID, the fatality rate from this is the same as a bad flu. So get over it, already.

Here’s an idea: how about all you scared rabbits just stay home and OUT of the bars and restaurants that I will still be frequenting MASKLESS. Then we are all happy. You have ZERO right to walk into any business and then bitch that people aren’t wearing masks (*cough* Julie dipshit Landrum *cough*). YOU are the one with a fear problem. Not me.

Here is MY edict and executive order for Bruce the Hippopotamus:

WHEREAS heart disease kills 650,000 people annually and Texas represents roughly 10% of the population of the United States and thus 65,000 deaths annually JUST from heart disease in the Lone Star State…

WHEREAS the Wuhan Flu has killed only 2,500 Texans and is thus TWENTY-SIX TIMES LESS deadly than heart disease….

WHEREAS any slob like Bruce who is 200 pounds overweight has a HIGHLY ELEVATED CHANCE of dying of heart disease, cancer or stroke….

Governor Lampasshole hereby decrees that manatees like Bruce Haywood are ordered to wear a mask that will not allow cheeseburgers, ribs, steak sandwiches and other unhealthy foods to pass his lips. You are hereby ordered to ONLY allow straws to sip smoothies into your pie hole until you have reached a government-mandated “safe weight” of 180 pounds. THIS IS “FOR YOUR OWN GOOD”.

I expect you would comply with this, right Bruce? You boot licking yam bag.

The Bruce Haywood Cheeseburger, Ribs and Krab Kingz Protection Mask

I think the best thing for shit heads like Bruce Haywood and Julie Cain Landrum to do is just get a freaking HAZMAT suit and leave the rest of us out of it. I will BUY you one. Free. On the house. Gratis.

How about it Bruce, ya dummy???? I’m offering to pay for 100% of your hazmat suit, you incredible dipshit. The catch is you HAVE to wear it every single time you step out of your hovel. Surely, it has to be WAY safer than the dirty t-shirt you currently use as your pacifier. As you so often ask: what’s the big deal???? Gotta be safer right?

Enjoy your mask edict, you clown horn. You are a timorous and third-rate man. A weakling for which the struggle with hard facts and data is clearly unendurable.