Holy shit. Somebody up there in Heaven loves me a LOT to bestow this MASSIVE gift upon my head. There is SO MUCH bullshit in this video, I feel like a kid in a candy store. Rest assured, by the time I am done pointing out all the fakery and lies, Clayton will look like an even bigger fraudulent asshole than he already does.
You can view the ridiculous ad on YouTube. Be sure to comment! Clayton was stupid enough to leave the comment section open for me…
The first ridiculous piece of fakery and hilarity is a very pudgy Clayton Tucker walking around a field with a SHEPHARD’S CROOK! BAHAHAHAHAHA! Like he’s Jesus Christ or some Middle-Eastern desert dweller….
I don’t know which idiot in his orbit thought this was a good idea, but it is so clearly a fake prop he has never used, that it jumped out at me immediately. There are a BUNCH of reasons this entire picture is wrong:
#1 – that is a SHEPHERD’S crook – as in SHEEP herder. He has no sheep. The hook is big like that to fit around the sheep’s neck. For goats, you would use a leg crook – and the hook is FAR smaller.
The “goat expert” apparently didn’t know this, so he bought the wrong prop off of Amazon. How do I know he bought it off of Amazon? So glad you asked:
#2 – this “campaign ad” was filmed on November 6th and 7th last fall. I just so happened to remember that date coincided with some Amazon purchases on his financial disclosure statements:
Several days before filming, he bought some shit off of Amazon. That $19.46 expense is almost EXACTLY what a shepherd’s crook on Amazon costs if you add 6.25% sales tax – as you can see by THIS LINK. I’m guessing the other expenses might be the holster he bought for his gun he is hilariously wearing.
(That would be the same Amazon that is owned by the ‘oligarch’ Jeff Bezos who Clayton Tucker has railed against for years. You could also argue that Amazon is basically a monopoly – which Clayton has ALSO railed against non-stop this year. You really can’t make this shit up.)
This is the $19 shepherd’s crook for sale on Amazon. Sure looks a lot like the one Clayton is holding in his tiny, effeminate hand!
This crook is also 66 inches tall – or 5’6. This brings me to the next huge fuckup he made:
#3 – that crook is WAY too tall for him. It’s basically the same height he is. It looked ridiculous to me so I Googled the “proper height” for a shepherd’s crook:
That “43 to 60 inches” is for a normal-sized man – but Clayton is somewhat of a midget, as I have commented before. Him being 5’6 is about right – which would match up with the height of his fake sheep implement. He AGAIN was too stupid to know any of this, so he just bought the first thing he saw on Amazon.
Are you feeling retarded yet, Comrade? I have plenty more. Stay tuned for Part II – the anti-gun douchebag puts on a gun for his campaign ad to fool the voters.