Back during the height of the Covid Cult lunacy, I had more than a few shouting matches with a fat guy named Heath Bishop – who went by the nom de plume of Hubert Humperdink…
Funny enough, Covid never killed old Hubert. But I’ll bet you a shiny new dime that he took multiple “vaccinations” and “boosters” that the government tricked him into…or maybe traded him a doughnut for.
Ahoy, ye scurvy dogs! We’ve got a whale sighting! Hubert Humpback Whale has surfaced from the briny deep! Ye may remember this blubberous behemoth from years past, matey!
Shiver me timbers! A harpoon is what that whale be needing! G’yarrr! Tis more whale than man! Heath Bishop be the whale’s REAL name. This lowly 7-Eleven clerk likes to be ranting and raving at “dumb Texas rednecks” like he got a real brain in that whale skull! G’yarrrr! Tis the funniest joke I’ve heard all over the Seven Seas, matey!!
And he’s back spewing his fat and nasty blowhole all over Lampasas County Breaking News:
Me first mate Russell Gibson is right as rain! Why don’t this monstrosity of a whale just swim like a fishy on out to the Pacific Ocean and leave us decent folks alone! In fact, Heath Bishop, ye massive pile of whale shit, I’ll pay many doubloons MYSELF to help ye move! That’s right! What say ye, ya slobberin fat pile of blubber?? Do we have a deal, matey?? I never be joking about things like this. Put up or shut up, ye blubbering fool.
G’yarrrrr! There is no dumber whale to be found in these parts! He even thinks AOC is a genius in our time and smarter than DeSantis, despite mountains of evidence to the contrary!
It’s foolish whales like this ye should be thankin for this morning’s 7.5% CPI print, matey! Ye dumb bastards! When did we allow these blubberous whales the right to vote! Their stupidity will send us all to Davey Jones’ locker, I tells ye!
Hubert “Heath” Humperdink is very upset that when he insults “rednecks” and “plague rats” who are “too stupid to wear masks” that he gets insulted right back.
What did you expect, Hubert?? That we free-breathers are just going to sit there and take it? Uh uh. Let’s go back and see what started it all:
Calling us dumb rednecks and plague rats! You didn’t think that would elicit a response? Lol. You make me laugh, Hubert. Naturally, I am going to respond with MY argument.
I found a new moron on Lampasas County Breaking News who immediately belongs up in the highest ranks of imbeciles with Haywood, Fitzharris and Johnson. His nom de plume is Hubert Humperdink…although a more fitting pseudonym would have been Hubert Humpback Whale.
His real name is Heath Bishop – and he is a morbidly obese 7-11 clerk.
I thought black was a slimming color?
Hubert is angry at you “plague rats” who want to breathe your “rotten lung air” all over him. He thinks you are selfish for not wanting to wear a dirty diaper over your mouth 10 hours a day. He cares about his health, as you can see from his photo ^^
Right on, Trenton!!
Hubert Humpback is right to be scared of Covid. He is morbidly obese. Morbid obesity is THE NUMBER ONE co-morbidity when it comes to dying with Covid.
How did Mister Humpback become this way? Did the Lard Fairy visit one night and turn Hubert into the grotesque apparition you see before you?
The face of George Costanza + the head of a glans penis + the body of a humpback = lady killer
Did you and I jam cupcakes, 64-oz sodas and Eve’s spaetzel wtih brown butter sauce into his mouth constantly over these last forty years? No. We did not. Mister Humpback did that to himself because he lacks willpower and self respect:
Not a plate. Not a bowl. Not even a trough. A BATHTUB. Talk about gluttony.
Humperdick thinks we are all ignorant rednecks for thinking masks aren’t worth a shit against a tiny aerosolized virus.
Doesn’t restrict breathing?? Wanna bet Humpback has a desk job and not a job waiting tables or stocking shelves?
Funny that Humpback thinks doctors are SUPER SMART but never listened to his own doctor over the last 40 years when he certainly told Humpback to drop about 120 pounds or he’d be in an early grave.
We ignorant rednecks understand intuitively that an aerosolized fart goes right through your underwear, your denim jeans and can easily be smelled by a person three feet away with or without a mask. That is because farts – like the coronavirus and cigarette smoke – are aerosolized and pass easily through fabrics. The egghead “genius” scientists are finally admitting the obvious:
In short, Humperdick, if you are morbidly obese, slapping a mask on your face isn’t gonna help you. Get off the CDC website, take the mask off, and go outside to get some sunshine (vitamin D!) and take a walk, for crying out loud! America desperately needs to man up and stop acting like hysterical cowards.
