Welp, just 4.5 months after Mercer/Fulton decided to toss their Wong, Happy Panda is closing their doors. This isn’t because the restaurant sucked or the owners are shady cunts. No, it’s because all of YOU are meanies unable to see what saints and heroes the owners are! Just ask Gennifer Cook-Gass, proprietor of Moldy McShitButter Inc.
Protecting minors in the face of danger!!! Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear feather boas, too!
The danger was SO GRAVE, in fact, that zero police reports were filed, zero charges were filed and zero arrests were made for them!
[It also reminds me of the lying sacks of shitlibs who constantly say they “received death threats” from evil right wingers, but strangely they never report it to the police or have any recordings.]
I have to say I nailed that one, when I said a few months ago I can see this being a very quick downfall. As I wrote back in May:
Anyways, this thing smells like Kristi Noem and her dog or maybe Tiger Woods and his SUV crash in 2009 when it came out he was actually banging like 30 Denny’s waitresses and his entire life imploded overnight. I can see that happening with a Happy Panda boycott. The restaurant biz is a tough one, but if 90% of the town thinks you fucked over the sympathetic figure of Quan Wong, I’m guessing you won’t last long.
Well, it’s been a while since there was a massive blowup soap opera in Lampasas but boy, is this one a doozy!
Oh, and look! It’s the Fulton/Mercer duo AGAIN this time! What are the odds??
Oh no she di int!
In case you didn’t know, here is the Cliff’s Notes version:
Jason Fulton (husband of flamboyantly gay wanna-be Hollywood star James Mercer) financially backed a new restaurant in town Called Mei Yuan. It was open less than a month. Now all of a sudden the name changes and master Vietnamese chef Quan Wong is out on his ass and allegedly all his recipes are stolen.
[Note this is AFTER Fulton got a HUGE front-page spread of free advertising in the Lampasas Dispatch when they did a very sympathetic story on Quan [March 22, 2024 edition] and how he has been fucked over most of his life – mainly by commie bastards]
Most scandalously, it appears Fulton (or an underling) was busted responding to questions online and pretending to be Quan Wong, even though it was painfully obvious the writing was COMPETELY different – as you’d expect when a white person from Lampasas writes posing as a Vietnamese guy who has posted before in broken English.
There was the usual small smattering of Mercer-defenders who intimated that Quan himself caused this implosion and that he is either a raging alcoholic or drug addict who needs to “seek rehab.” Oh, and he yells at people in the kitchen.
As someone who worked in many a kitchen in my younger years, I say: ‘yeah, so what?’ My buddy had a ‘snowball’ made of raw, ground up hamburger meat thrown at his head in the kitchen by our enraged catering boss Brendan Kennedy back around 1990. Frankly, the kid deserved it. I also worked in Charlie Trotter’s kitchen once in the early 90s and he was the biggest asshole on the planet. I have some pretty funny stories from those days. Perhaps in another blog post.
But back to the Mercer/Fulton/Wong kerfuffle.
The online armies have lined up.
One one side is probably 90% of Lampasas who thinks these guys are slimy douchebags who definitely fucked poor Quan over big time. I count myself in this camp but also wouldn’t be shocked if Quan hit the sauce, yelled at people or maybe snuck in the opium pipe somewhere. He works in a kitchen, for crying out loud. You don’t want to know what goes on in kitchens. Just enjoy what comes out the door and stfu about the rest of it.
I also loved Quan immediately from his Dispatch article because he must definitely hate commies even more than me. He possibly even killed a few of them, too. That gives him a lot of credits in my book. Hating and killing commies FAR outweighs any ALLEGED substance abuse, as far as I’m concerned.
Quan Wong could climb up on Fulton’s fancy car and take a shit through the sunroof, and I would STILL be on Team Wong. Like, yeah he definitely shit in your car but he killed a bunch of commies in his younger days. Not guilty, your honor.
The other side are the 3% who are (and have always been) Fulton/Mercer apologists and who are likely mostly schlubs who get a paycheck from some Mercer enterprise or another or just morons who are on the wrong side of every issue by nature, because they are quasi-retarded (Haywood, Fitzharris).
Then you have the remaining 7% of rubberneckers who say stupid shit like “this is why nobody opens a new business in Lampasas – all the drama” and are missing the big picture.
The Big Picture:
The Big Picture is nobody wants to go support a business with an owner who would fuck somebody over like that. So they want answers.
#1 – Fulton could have said “we parted ways and Wong is no loner here” and that probably would have been the end of it. But some retard (either Fulton himself or an underling) appears to have gone out of their way to impersonate Wong and give the impression he’s still there. That rubs a LOT of people the wrong way. If the recipe stealing is true (I have no idea if it is) then Fulton is an even bigger piece of shit and people will make it a point NOT to eat there. I know I would.
#2 – Fulton had a chance to explain it all but instead played a bitch card with three ridiculous statements. His answer was, in a nutshell (1) you aren’t even from here (2) there are two sides to every story but I won’t tell you either one of them and (3) stop being a child.
#3 – If Fulton has the money to throw into this Chinese restaurant venture, does that mean he has made whole all the people who were claiming wage theft? I mean, if you are tossing money into a risky restaurant venture and STILL haven’t paid off everyone from your LAST business debacle, then you are a big piece of shit, once again.
From my understanding and what I’ve seen, Mercer has a, shall we say, VERY loose relationship with the truth. The biggest lie, of course, is when he ran for JP and posted photos of him and his daughters everywhere dressed like a Reagan Republican while his homosexual partner was conspicuously left out of those photos…
To paraphrase Robert Downey Jr in Tropic Thunder: never go full gaytard.
I don’t really care how many cocks you gobble, but be who you are and own it. Don’t pretend to be Norman Rockwell to gain office under false pretenses when you are actually Liberace and everyone knows it.
Probably why you lost.
Anyways, this thing smells like Kristi Noem and her dog or maybe Tiger Woods and his SUV crash in 2009 when it came out he was actually banging like 30 Denny’s waitresses and his entire life imploded overnight. I can see that happening with a Happy Panda boycott. The restaurant biz is a tough one, but if 90% of the town thinks you fucked over the sympathetic figure of Quan Wong, I’m guessing you won’t last long.
Hey, there’s a limerick in there somewhere…..
There once was a guy who loved schlong
Who dumped his new partner, named Wong
He angered his City
It doesn’t look pretty
I don’t think this place will last long
5-3-24 11amNEWSFLASH – Heritage Funeral Home building foreclosure imminent?
