Tag: Halff Associates

More Proof That The LEDC Is Wasting Their $120,000.00 On The Halff Associates Consulting Contract

As I’ve reported here before, the City is currently in the midst of wasting $120,000.00 on a ‘consulting contract’ with Halff Associates to ’empower the community’ and ‘give everyone a voice’ in the future of Lampasas.

This is a fool’s errand, as I have ALSO pointed out before….but I offer more proof here today.

A recent article in The Dispatch details the demolition of an old locker plant and ice house at 707 Pecan Street for possible retail and upscale apartment development.

The response on Facebook was swift and diverse: a bunch of people complained that a six-story building is turning us into Austin and is no good for the city. Another group thought it was a great idea because we need more housing here. Yet another group bitched that we don’t need more retail space since there are TONS of empty storefronts on Key Ave AND Town Square (good point, I might add).

In short, you can’t get 50 Lampassholes to agree on anything, let alone 6,000 of them. It would be like herding cats. Throw in the fact that probably 35% of the ‘cats’ fall into the “retarded” section of an IQ Bell curve, and you can see my point.

Already people are arguing about the upcoming Burger King: either it sucks and we don’t need more fast food places OR it’s awesome because they love Burger King and it provides jobs. You will NEVER get a consensus asking a thousand dummies what is “best” for the future of Lampasas, so why are you wasting $120,000 trying to do so?

I don’t care what Mike Irvin (the developer) does. Frankly, I don’t think another 10,000 square feet of retail is needed in this town, but it’s his nickel and not mine. Maybe he’s right. However, I WILL have a BIG problem if he goes hat-in-hand to City council begging for money like the last several developers have (successfully) done.

The Halff Associates survey and consulting is also a waste of time for another reason: the Seven Goldfish have ALREADY decided which way we will be going in the future and that is obviously growth at any cost. This is evident by the hundreds of thousands of dollars they give away to developers and waste on dumb shit like a ‘business park’.

The smart thing to do is stop trying to steer the local economy like some third-world communist politburo. The free market works just fine. Disband the idiotic LEDC and stop wasting money on this crap. Either way, soon enough you will have a wave of liberal asswipes moving here from Austin and Georgetown and Liberty Hill and it will have NOTHING to do with the work of Mandy Walsh and the LEDC or the wisdom of The Seven Goldfish. It’s going to happen naturally as people try to escape the traffic and regulations of the “big city” for greener pastures.

Of course, none of this logic and truth will stop The Seven Goldfish from throwing money at idiotic ‘planning’ efforts. Halff will walk off into the sunset $120,000 richer while the LEDC chases their tail for another year.

City Monkeys Pay SurveyMonkey $120,000.00 For FREE Service. Seriously.

For those of you living under a rock, the geniuses at City Hall (and the LEDC) have recently retained Halff Associates, a ‘consulting’ firm, to help “plan the future of Lampasas”.

I have largely ignored this fiasco because it is such a terrible idea and a colossal waste of time. The kinds of people who will answer this survey are the same morons who live on Facebook and say that “we need a Starbucks!” or “we need a drive-in movie theater!” and have IQs of about 86 and a net worth of $152. They haven’t the faintest clue that you need a certain sized population with a certain income level to support those types of businesses.

They think that because THEY like the idea and it “got a bunch of likes on Facebook” (yes, that really happened) that that makes it a viable business that will flourish and profit (yes, I’m looking at you Ashley Cain).

Of course, on their very next Facebook post, those same geniuses are begging people for $25 so they can ‘finish their schooling in crystal healing’ or begging for a free crib for their infant. In short, people with no money and no brains will not be good Starbucks customers. People WITH money and brains know this – which is why they won’t open a Starbucks in the first place. It would go out of business in about six weeks.

This basic fact of life is clearly lost on the “city planners” and the Lampasas Economic Development Corporation. The LEDC wastes piles of money on useless and fruitless endeavors every year: business parks, conventions, buzz words, brainstorming sessions, vision statements, Texas Municipal League conventions….and now $120,000.00 on a ‘survey’ from Halff Associates.

Out of curiosity, I finally went to waste 20 minutes of my life to take the survey – mainly to give a bunch of incorrect answers and throw off the results. Lo and behold, this big, expensive $120,000 project is actually just a survey on SurveyMonkey.com! Holy Christ! ANYBODY can go to SurveyMonkey and do their own survey! The basic plan is FREE!!! The most expensive is $75. Yet these City bozos and politicians just paid Halff Associates $120,000.00 to go and put up a survey for them! My god, how stupid can you be? They could have done this themselves FOR FREE or nearly free!

I have to hand it to Halff Associates. They look like consummate scam artists with this racket they are running. They go to some desperate dummy politicians and low-IQ City bureaucrats with the promise of “developing” the economy and “giving everyone a say in the community” or some other flowery bullshit. They charge them $120,000 for their “expertise” and then they just go to a WEBSITE THAT ALREADY EXISTS (surveymonkey.com) and throw up a survey in about 30 minutes! I bet they even use the exact same questions for every city they rip off with this scam! It’s already all written and ready to go! They are essentially stealing $120,000 from Lampasas for probably about 75 minutes of work.

When the dust settles, Lampasas will have wasted $120,000 on an essentially free service which will give answers from some of the dumbest people** in town. You gotta love government work.

[**Bruce Haywood approves of this survey]