This Is Why Spinley deGraffenreid Makes The Big Bucks

No, not for just managing the city. But for his incredible ability to make every horrible decision look like it was a good one and to also hold two contradictory positions in his head at the same time, while talking out both sides of his mouth. He is truly a marvel. Take today’s Dispatch article about the Fishbowl as a prime example:

At the beginning of the article, Spinley needs to somehow explain why they paid $229,000 for a building they had just sold less than two years earlier for $75,000. The reason? The owner made a ton of awesome improvements like new windows, a new roof and ‘electrical work’. He implies the building is just spectacular and they got a deal on this thing.

By the end of the article, he ALSO needs to explain why the $1.5 million Fishbowl is a year late and WAY over budget. He does so deftly with this quote:

Throughout the project, some residents voiced concerns about the expense and whether a new council meeting venue is necessary

Asked about those concerns, and about whether renovation was a better option than constructing a new building, deGraffenried said, “I think the choice of the project was correct. I think that to say we have not learned anything from remodeling an 85-year-old building would be incorrect,” 

See how he slips “an 85-year-old building” into the mix? He is now implying (contrary to the BEGINNING of the article) that this shitty old dilapidated building is to blame for all his woes and delays and cost overruns.

Just to recap for the slow crowd:

  • Beginning of article: building is awesome and a great buy at a 200% markup
  • End of article: this crummy shitbox took a lot of effort to get straightened out.

Seriously. Spinley, you missed your calling. You would be a shoo-in for White House Press Secretary.

Quote Of The Year Winner: Misti Talbert

I just have to record this for later reference down the line. In today’s Dispatch, Mayor Misti Talbert made the following observation about wasting over $1,500,000.00 on a vanity project (new City council chambers and building renovation) she championed from start to finish:

“This has been a lot [of money]but I think it’s been worth it,” Talbert said. “I think if you sit here for just a minute, you’re going to realize this is very worth it.

I’m sure for The Seven Goldfish, it is very worth it. They get to sit in their fancy chambers surrounded by toys for about 4 hours a month. For the other 6,993 of us suckers citizens, probably not so much.

Although I guess if I sneaked into every single one of the 2,000 houses in Lampasas, stole $750 from every single one of them, didn’t get caught, then sat in my living room “for just a minute” ogling the $1,500,000.00 pile of loot I will get to enjoy at everyone else’s expense, then I would probably say the same thing.