It seems I can’t open the newspaper [page 3] these days without being nauseated by this family of carpetbagging, liberal, Biden-loving loons who have infested my beloved Lampasas over the last few years.
That would be Janet “Crazier” Crozier (brainchild behind the $10,000 per year in losses for the City’s ‘recycling’ program) from Norton, Ohio and Stephanie “Potato Head” Fitzharris (from Santa Monica, Oregon and Austin) who has recently fled Austin and purchased her mother’s house and is now pretending to be a small-town, good-old local gal.
Recently, Potato Head joined Vision Lampasas and is trying to sweet-talk her way into the community by “supporting” Christmas on the Creek – which she hopes will make everyone forget she is a hard-core Marxist from Austin.
Of course, like most liberals, she is all hat and no cattle. She donated an embarrassingly-small amount of $31 to the fundraiser that SHE herself started.That is LESS than she recently donated to the GoFundMe for the funeral of a local delinquent….
Sad.
The juvenile delinquent gets $50 for his funeral but the Christmas Lights Fundraiser that YOU started only gets $31? You make me sick.
So here is what I’m going to do:
I will donate $5,000 for new lights IF the following conditions are met by Potato Head Fitzharris:
#1 – You will resign from Vision Lampasas, effective immediately and you will NEVER come back.
#2 – You will donate $1,000 to this cause from your own personal checking account. This will atone for your insultingly small donation of $31.
#3 – You will convince your good buddy “CT” (Clayton Tucker) to ALSO donate $1,000 from his personal checking account – NOT from any of his campaign accounts. Tucker has claimed to be a local farmer, rancher and “small business owner” for a long time now, yet he is not even a member of the local Chamber of Commerce. He is constantly demanding everyone else pay for “free” school, health care and school lunches while he lives with his mother and pays no property taxes himself. I want to see him put his money where his mouth is.
#4 – You will admit publicly on Facebook in front of all your old liberal Austin friends (Garry Brown, Rene Lozano, Carol Garner Doughty, etc) that Joe Biden has been a complete disaster and you regret voting for him. You will admit that he has dementia and not a “stutter” as you have claimed before. You will also admit publicly that you were 100% wrong about the Covid vaccine, about masks, about social distancing, about closing down the schools, about HCQ, about Ivermectin and all the rest of it.
You will do all of this by December 22nd – two weeks away. If you REALLY care about Christmas on the Creek and raising money, you will swallow your pride the same way you apparently swallow too many pizzas and score Vision Lampasas an EASY $5,000 from the “notorious and evil” Lampasshole.
Anything less, and we all know you’re just a lot of hot air.
[When these conditions are met, Vision Lampasas may contact me at lampasshole@protonmail.com to arrange my donation of $5,000]