Prances With Hooves.

Kevin Costner, he ain’t….

Just a White Dude For Harris out in his pink sunglasses with a teeny donkey on a pink leash! La de dah!

Christ man – just buy a feather boa and a Pomeranian already and get it over with. I’m sure your Dad will get over the big news with time….

I guess badgering mom for a little tiny donkey finally worked! I know those things are not cheap and they are utterly useless in terms of adding value to a ranching operation. Then again, so are the dwarf goats.

Good thing he’s not ACTUALLY a ranching operation. Otherwise, he’d be broke. It’s more of a “take pictures and post on Facebook for lonely old ladies while sponging off mom and dad” operation. Viewed through that lens, it makes sense. Especially if he’s going to challenge Sid Miller for Ag Commissioner in 18 months.

Switching to donkeys WAS a good idea though. Considering that monkeypox is running rampant through the White Dudes For Harris community, switching it up to an animal girlfriend makes a lot of sense for him. I’m guessing the donkey’s miniature height makes it a LOT easier for Clayton to “mount her,” if you know what I mean!

I can already hear him whining like a 9-year-old girl to his parents: “Mom! Can she sleep in my room? Puhleeeeze! She’ll be super quiet and won’t make a mess!”