See what I did there? DA MAN it literally in his name. It was only a matter of time before he woke up and asked “did we win the game?”
I guess the guy who died and came back to life isn’t a complete pussy like his coach:
Laying in the ICU, cannot talk and first thing he wants to know is “who won the game?”
That is the spirit that put man on the moon – despite horrifying setbacks like three men dying on the launch pad in 1967. If that happened today, the Twitter pussies would shut down the entire space program – and the environmental pussies would be crying about rocket exhaust fumes.
That spirit is why Americans invented everything that is awesome in the world like electricity, automobiles, oil exploration, microprocessors, air conditioning, crack cocaine and the Internet – while the rest of the world took siestas all day and watched us in awe.
That is the spirit directly handed down by our caveman ancestors and the first 140-pound Neanderthal who had the balls to pick up a spear and decide to take down a 12,000 pound mastodon. He said “fuck these plants and nuts, I want STEAK TONIGHT” and he went out there and took it.
Damn right. I’d ask the same thing. Did we accomplish what we worked so hard for all season? Did me giving it literally everything I had make a difference?
You want to tell him what happened?
Oh, sorry buddy. I hate to tell you that coach started crying and then quit the game. It’s not even a tie. We didn’t valiantly win the game for you. We all went home and then yelled at anyone on Twitter who asked how the #1 seed was going to be decided now since it’s the end of the season and we can’t make this game up.
Thanks for playing.