Lampasshole Solution To LISD “Teacher Shortage”

Today’s Dispatch tells us that LISD is “seeking alternative ways to hire more teachers”. Apparently the guy in charge of this effort will be “doctor” Chane Rascoe.

[Rascoe is the guy who makes well over $200,000 in salary and benefits every single year and educates exactly zero students.]

I’m guessing the eventual answer will be “we need more money”, as it usually is. This may shock you, but I’m OK with that.

However, that money doesn’t need to come out of the taxpayer’s ass. The taxpayer is already soaked hard at the local, state and federal level to keep a lot of people fat and well-paid. Resources are limited and we are all tapped out here in the private sector, buddy.

I propose to start cutting salaries of the Nerf positions and eliminating a lot of bullshit paper-pushers outright. Those savings can then be used to hire more REAL teachers. You know, the ones who stand up there and TEACH and deal with asshole kids all day, rather than push papers around in the back office.

The increase in administrators and “other” employees has FAR outstripped growth in student enrollment…

WAY more staff and administrators per pupil

So, let’s see where there is fat to cut, shall we?

Chane Rascoe: Slash his salary by 20%. It is outrageous that this guy costs taxpayers about $18,000 per MONTH and presumably gets summers off. I just saved you about $40,000. If he doesn’t like it, show him the door. I hear Wal-Mart is hiring truck drivers.

Eliminate the assistant superintendent position. I have no idea who it is since Bott left. I’m guessing nobody reading this has any idea either….so he can’t be THAT important. Whoever he is, he makes over $111,000 and educates nobody. He can go drive trucks too. I just saved you another $111,000 to hire real teachers with.

In fact, eliminate just about any job title with “assistant” in it. That goes for all the assistant principals.

Eliminate more Nerf jobs altogether:

Occupational therapist? Sounds like bullshit. Bye bye. Just saved you another $76,000 to hire real teachers with.

Educational diagnostician? Sounds even more bullshitty – possibly the biggest joke job in the world. Eliminate it. Saved you another $76,000 right there.

What are we up to now…about $300,000? That was easy. Let’s see what else…

School counselor? Gimme a break. MAYBE you need one or two of them at the high school level to help you decide what to do with your life. There is no need for that at any other school. Your parents should be your counselor. We never had any of that shit in my grade schools. There are NINE school counselors listed on the first 3 pages of the LISD salary site. That is insane. Say goodbye to seven of them at about $65,000 each – just saved you another $455,000.

I have now saved about three quarters of a million dollars ANNUALLY. But we aren’t done yet!

Psychologist? See “counselor” above. LISD salary site lists FOUR psychologists in the first three pages of salaries – at about $57,000 each, I just saved you another $228,000.

They WILL have to spend $19.99 to replace all those psychologists though. Meet your new psychologist:

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If you think this is all outlandish and we can’t POSSIBLY get rid of all these important people, I give you this chart yet again:

I’ve ranted before about how my grade school was run with very few people and a class size of 30 kids. I would also argue that kids were FAR better educated back in the 1950s and 1970s than they are now. We spend a LOT more money for shittier results. That is a fact you cannot deny.

Part of the problem is an absolute explosion in “administration and other staff”. You see the same thing at hospitals. Time to slash and burn, baby. There are TONS of jobs going unfilled out here in the real world. Time to wean some of these people off the government titmilk for good.