No, not that time of year when “a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love,” as Tennyson wrote. Although, you could be forgiven for thinking that after looking at THIS perfect couple….
His excitement over the fact that “the baby is female” is almost palpable! Finally, someone to spend Valentines Day with.
No, it’s the time of year when the socialist chairman of the Lampasas Democratic Party Clayton Tucker (SDEC-24) is approaching his birthday. He’ll be 33 this year, and mom probably asks him every year if THIS is the age he will finally move out of her house and get his own place, like a normal, able-bodied 33-year-old human male.
And every year, Comrade Clayton Tucker (SDEC-24) gets defensive and posts a lot of garbage on social media SHOWING mom why it’s just impossible for him to let go of her apron strings:
[Of course, if Comrade Clayton had gotten a real job after he graduated high school FIFTEEN YEARS AGO, he’d be making far more than $15/hr by now. But we’ll ignore that for the moment]
Yes, because Comrade Clayton DESERVES a two-bedroom apartment for himself. You expect him to live in a STUDIO?? Or to get a roommate? Are you crazy? He’s an important modern thinker and influencer. He can’t be expected to live like that! Plus he needs a spare room for his caprine girlfriend in the photo.
What a spoiled little asshole. After I graduated college, I shared an apartment with THREE other slobs for the next four years to save money. I slept on a mattress on the floor because I didn’t see the point in wasting money on a bed. I drove an ’86 Honda Accord for over 14 years. We split the cable, electric and phone bills (no cell phones back then) four ways also. It saves a TON of money.
But then again, you’d need to find three friends who aren’t goats. A tall order for this socialist loser.
Why not post a map of “states where someone making $7/hr can afford a mansion”? Or a map of states where someone making $57/hr can afford a private jet”? These are all arbitrary and capricious parameters Comrade Clayton has pulled from his ass. I’m guessing he does this every year to convince his mother (and himself) that it’s not HIM who is a lazy bum, but those evil, greedy landlords who charge too much and work bosses who pay too little. He is the victim here, dammit!
Except, as usual, his $15/hr number is WAY behind the times. Probably because he has never actually searched for a real job in the private sector. Here is what I found on the Internet in an eight-second search:
Fucking POPEYE’S is paying over $21 an hour! That works out to $42,000 per year. If you are conservative with your finances and only spend 1/3 of your income on rent, you are limited to $1,166 per month for housing.
Gee…I wonder if I can spend another 8 seconds and find something for Comrade Clayton to rent….
Oh lookie there! Plenty of shit available with room to spare! Are they opulent? Are they glamorous? Fuck no. But they will suffice until you prove yourself at your job and work your way up the ladder.
But all of that is WAY too much work for a worshipper of Bernie Sanders. Much easier to just crawl back into mommy’s womb and live in her upstairs bedroom until she dies and you can inherit the house, right?