This Is Why Spinley deGraffenreid Makes The Big Bucks

No, not for just managing the city. But for his incredible ability to make every horrible decision look like it was a good one and to also hold two contradictory positions in his head at the same time, while talking out both sides of his mouth. He is truly a marvel. Take today’s Dispatch article about the Fishbowl as a prime example:

At the beginning of the article, Spinley needs to somehow explain why they paid $229,000 for a building they had just sold less than two years earlier for $75,000. The reason? The owner made a ton of awesome improvements like new windows, a new roof and ‘electrical work’. He implies the building is just spectacular and they got a deal on this thing.

By the end of the article, he ALSO needs to explain why the $1.5 million Fishbowl is a year late and WAY over budget. He does so deftly with this quote:

Throughout the project, some residents voiced concerns about the expense and whether a new council meeting venue is necessary

Asked about those concerns, and about whether renovation was a better option than constructing a new building, deGraffenried said, “I think the choice of the project was correct. I think that to say we have not learned anything from remodeling an 85-year-old building would be incorrect,” 

See how he slips “an 85-year-old building” into the mix? He is now implying (contrary to the BEGINNING of the article) that this shitty old dilapidated building is to blame for all his woes and delays and cost overruns.

Just to recap for the slow crowd:

  • Beginning of article: building is awesome and a great buy at a 200% markup
  • End of article: this crummy shitbox took a lot of effort to get straightened out.

Seriously. Spinley, you missed your calling. You would be a shoo-in for White House Press Secretary.