Tag: Ask FDR

Ask FDR. Foreign Tractor Edition

Dear Fake Dummy Rancher,

Just today you were blathering on your shitstack about how “cheap imports” are super duper bad and how only TWO companies run the tractor sector.

So, if cheap imports are so bad, why did your daddy buy you a JAPANESE tractor to take photo ops on instead of an AMERICAN tractor??

And if Deere and CNH own the entire world of tractors, how did you ever get your hands on a Yanmar? Also, there is a Kubota dealer right down the road in Marble Falls.

Oh, and why do you even NEED a tractor in the first place??

Fake Dummy Rancher responds: “Don’t ask me. I’m just a fake dummy grass farmer now who still lives with his mom at age 35.”

Ask FDR: Plastic Edition

Time for another “Ask a Fake Dummy Rancher”

Dear Fake Dummy Rancher,

You have babbled a lot lately about “removing plastic from your mom’s house” but your actions belie your empty words. For instance, your plastic bucket here instead of a metal one. Or your plastic temporary fencing that you claim to “mend” all the time….

Plastic bucket instead of metal.
MORE plastic!!

Fake Dummy Rancher responds:

“I’m not familiar with the word ‘belie.’ I’m just a fake dummy rancher who lives with his mother at age 35.”

Ask FDR

Time for another “Ask a Fake Dummy Rancher”

Hey FDR! If you hate monopolies so much and they do nothing but screw the consumer and make prices go up a whole bunch then why are you such a staunch defender of the public school monopoly??? In Chicago and Baltimore, the public school monopoly has increased the cost per student to over $30,000 and has provided such a horrible product, that only 30% can read at grade level and only 18% are proficient in math.

If monopolies are so bad, then why are government-run school monopolies GOOD???

“Don’t ask me! I can’t be expected to actually explain my positions! I just repeat what I read on Bernie Sanders’ Twitter page. I’m 35 and live with my mom, for Christ’s sake! I don’t actually know shit!”