Well, that Clayton Tucker bingo card was so much fun, I decided to do another. And since the front page of today’s Dispatch has her Potato Head splattered all over it frightening readers, I decided to do one for California/Oregon/Austin transplant and far-left radical Stephanie Fitzharris.
Long-time readers will get the references for every single one of these squares!
“Somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like “I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive….” And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats…”
It was “just a stutter” though, right Potato Head??
Socialist birth defect Clayton Tucker is now 100% all-in on “breaking up Big Ag” now that he is a full time fake rancher and planning to get his ass kicked running for Texas Ag Commissioner in 2026.
But it wasn’t too long ago (BEFORE he invented the fake rancher persona) that he was just a regular run-of-the-mill trust fund dork and limo liberal socialist who demanded socialized medicine as his “number one issue.” Here is a questionnaire from just a few years ago when he ran against (and got his ass whipped by) Dawn Buckingham:
[Notice there is also no mention of being a rancher. He admitted here that he was an agitator for a communist front group called Our Revolution Texas (which is now defunct)]
So his number one issue is socialized medicine and his number two issue is destroying the economy by going 100% unreliable “renewable” energy like pinwheels and solar panels, which don’t work at night. His THIRD issue is “end the school-to-prison pipeline” – I don’t even know what that means, but I don’t see “break up Big Ag” anywhere on the list.
Brilliant!
Here is yet ANOTHER blurb where he gives us a chance to tell us how important “breaking up Big Ag” is to the world. Again, he fails to mention it, because he has not adopted the fake rancher persona yet. He instead is more concerned about ridiculous niche issues like “combatting maternal mortality” and ridiculously broad and impossible shit like “ending childhood hunger,” lol.
What an utter retard.
So the guy who can’t make a living for himself and still lives with mom thought he was going to end childhood hunger. The guy who can’t get a chick to talk to him and will never have a wife or a kid wants to “combat maternal mortality and suicide epidemics.”
BAHAHAHA!! Why not add “build a rocket and fly to the moon” as well, you scrote. That is probably more likely to happen than any of your other nonsense.
A few weeks ago, I noticed that former EDD Stacey Ybarra was making some wild claims on her LinkedIn profile. One of them was that she herself concocted “over eight” economic impact reports for “potential business prospects” while she was here sucking on the public tit to the tune of over $100,000 in salary and benefits.
Of course, she’s long gone now and the Business Pork is still completely empty – despite her making it her “number one job” to find a tenant. In fact, you’d be hard-pressed to point a finger to a single accomplishment by her during her 18 month stint which cost the taxpayers around a quarter-million in expenses!
I figured since she was long gone and had accomplished nothing, it was safe to ask for those “over eight” economic impact studies she supposedly created. I figured wrong!
As usual, the city’s overpaid, hack attorney JC Brown went running to the Texas AG with her usual line: “the City is of the opinion that the requested information is exempted from disclosure by a statutory exemption set forth in Chapter 552″
The LEDC is a gigantic circus run by head clown Misti Talbert. Talbert used to TALK a lot about “transparency” when she was mayor, but that’s all it was: talk. The truth is, it serves their purposes to keep everything hidden away from prying eyes, because otherwise people might be shocked at just how incompetent they really are.
Oh well. Eventually they WILL get a business in the Business Pork. It will be a horrible deal and the wages will be no better than anyplace else in town, but it will happen. THEN, after the “deal is done” and the prospect moves in, they will no longer be able to make their claims of secrecy because of “negotiations” – they will HAVE to let the taxpayers look at the deal they struck…and it will be glorious. I plan on roasting them for weeks when that happens.
Reminder: as usual, the LEDC will skip their monthly December meeting on the 18th because “holidays” – which means the year 2024 will come to a close without any tenants in the $7.4 million Business Pork. However, you WILL notice they are currently in the process of putting up two entrance signs (cost: $37,000) to mark the wildly overpriced goat pasture.
Wow. I sure am getting a lot of emails lately from tons of ranches advertising their meats!
Winters Beef is pushing their delicious wagyu cuts….
While R-C Ranch, who I have bought from before, is offering 20% off Cyber Monday deals on delicious cuts of meat like this lovely ribeye!
Wow. R-C is charging $65 for that fucker! All goes directly into their pockets though, right? No “Big Ag” boogeyman to blame for everything!
But I’m really hoping to BUY LOCAL from the little guy. Like pretend rancher Clayton Tucker and his RX Ranch! I seem to remember last December 15th, he promised he was working on a website to sell local meats! Let’s check in on him and see how it’s going…..
Hmm, let’s see here: petting zoos….goat yoga….mini goats. Huh. I don’t see any meats for sale. Must be super busy ranching and raising that livestock!
Oops. Still wasting time on Twitter (which he supposedly left for Bluesky) comparing Trump to Hitler. Possibly the most retarded take on a president ever. Especially one who was ALREADY PRESIDENT and performed ZERO Hitleresque acts while there.
It’s going to be exhausting for this little guy to cry nonstop about Hitler for the next four years and accomplishing exactly nothing by doing so, other than looking like a whiney fag.
Next December, when he STILL has nothing for sale on his website and other ranchers are raking it in during the holidays, he’ll still be whining about the “Big Ag” boogeyman under his bed and blaming it for his continuing failures.
Bloomberg must be incorrect. I have it on very good authority from a local halfwit fake rancher that “Big Ag” is ROLLING in a ton of dough from fucking over all the farmers and ranchers! How can they be laying off 8,200 people and missing profit targets?!?
“Tyson to close Kansas meat packing plant,costing 800 jobs. Tyson’s beef business, its largest unit, reported an adjusted loss of $291 million in its 2024 fiscal year that ended September, compared with income of $233 million for fiscal year 2023. The company projects the business will also suffer an operating loss in fiscal year 2025.“
Tyson Foods on Monday announced to employees it would close its facility in Emporia in February 2025, impactingaround 1,000 employees
These “Big Ag monopolies” that are “screwing over all the farmers and ranchers” sure aren’t very good at being monopolists! They’re all losing money and getting their asses kicked! Weird, since Comrade Clayton tells us the opposite is true.
Hunter Biden was just given a sweeping pardon and is absolved of any alleged crimes from 2014 through 2024. That would be the Hunter Biden who actually DID commit REAL crimes – not the fake and made-up bullshit “crimes” Trump was charged with.
Starting in 2014, crackhead Hunter Biden was paid $ 1 million a year by Ukraine gas giant Bursima because he was an “energy expert” but was really a way for Ukrainian oligarchs to buy influence from Joe Biden. This is also the first year of his retroactive pardon by his father.
Is there a single person in the entire Biden family who’s not a complete piece of shit scumbag? Joe, his kid, his brother, his wife. All slimy scumbags. Hope they all drop dead of cancer next year. Fuck em.
This obviously gives Trump the green light to pardon every single J6 prisoner on his first day in office. That will be awesome!
Remember when Joe lied about never pardoning his dirtbag, druggie son?
Bulshi* alert incoming.
In June, Biden categorically ruled out a pardon or commutation for his son, telling reporters as his son faced trial in the Delware gun case, “I abide by the jury decision. I will do that and I will not pardon him.” pic.twitter.com/iAq4crm6uQ
Easily-rattled, mentally disturbed libskank Carol Garner Doughty is elated it is finally snowing in her new town of Lenox MA….
This is not the first time she has yammered about “spiked boots.” I have personally never worn nor even HEARD of “spiked boots” for the winter – and I suffered some brutal winters in Chicago over 14 years. It must be something rich, old dummies pay $700 for.
What I DO know is that this moron who wants to get rid of fossil fuels tomorrow is going to freeze her wrinkled, bony ass off this winter. I’m praying for one of those “coldest in 50 years” winters so she suffers greatly. With any luck, she’ll slip and break her hip in the next few weeks and I can laugh about that, too.
I’m sure the Tesla and the Prius will do WONDERFULLY in a foot of snow when it’s -8 degrees next month. BAHAHAHAHAHA. I’ll be sure to send her a Trump Christmas card from sunny, 65-degree Texas about then.
So on my bingo card I have…
Slips and breaks hip. Slips and fractures skull. Slips and shatters kneecap. Tesla dies in freezing weather. Tesla stuck in foot of snow. Tesla retractable door handles frozen shut. Prius won’t start in cold. Husband to hospital in snow blower mishap. Complaints about roads not being plowed quickly enough for her satisfaction. Takes trip to Europe on fossil-fuel-powered airplane to “get away from this ridiculous cold.” Complains about pellet stove not keeping house warm enough.
Nothing more pathetic than a wanna-be farmer who has never grown so much as a tomato going on social media and demanding you “thank the farmers” for your Thanksgiving feast, because they are all “getting royally screwed” by the evil “Big Ag”….
I already thanked the farmer and rancher, fuck nut. I pulled out my wallet and bought their product. End of transaction.
Then he goes on to spout his usual “statistics” about how the poor farmer only gets a pittance of that turkey you bought. Clayton Tucker, who can’t even run his own “fifth-generation ranch” he was handed for free, demands justice for those turkey farmers up in Minnesota!
The retard who can’t get his own shit together wants to dictate the price of turkeys, farm wages and micromanage all levels of the economy, even though he has never even had a real job himself! Hilarious.
I don’t know what the REAL numbers are on turkey producing because (1) I don’t raise turkeys and (2) I also don’t believe anything a union tells me. So I can’t really argue the math nor will I assume any of his “statistics” are close to reality.
I do know ONE common sense thing: if you are raising turkeys and consistently losing money, then you should stop raising turkeys and do something else. I imagine there are more than a few “Clayton Tuckers” up there in Minnesota who play around on grandpa’s turkey ranch and can’t make any money at it, so they whine about Big Ag instead of admitting they just suck at raising turkeys.
Pretty simple.
I also know there are a ton of farms who have been raising turkeys for generations, so they must be happy with how it’s going. I’d like to think the fifth-generations turkey farmer (a REAL one) knows a hell of a lot more than some 34-year-old socialist clown who lives in Central Texas with his mom and has never even set foot on a turkey farm.
What a stupid-looking face.
Also, a lot of these “small turkey farmers” raise turkeys as a SIDE JOB because their primary job is growing soybeans and grains and that happens to be good feed for turkeys. So the turkey thing is just a small part of the entire farm operation. Also, turkey shit is a great fertilizer, so these same turkey farmers probably make a pretty penny selling their turkey manure to gardeners.
In other words, there are a lot of moving that parts a simpleton like Clayton Tucker is not considering.
But Comrade Clayton’s whining always boils down to the same point whether he’s whining about union auto worker wages, Amazon warehouse worker wages, farming wages or just the typical America voter: he thinks you’re too fucking stupid to know you’re getting screwed. But Clayton is so smart, he’s here to tell you you’re getting screwed – even though he has ZERO experience making a living at anything, let alone turkey farming!
Comrade Clayton is here to tell you that you’re a moron for working for those measly wages. He knows better than you do! He’s also here to tell you there was no inflation under Biden and if there WAS then it was because of greedy corporations and NOT trillions of deficit spending – because, again, he is smarter than you are and you’re too dumb to know what you’re seeing with your own eyes.
Yet with all those big brains he thinks he has, he still can’t figure out how to make enough money to live on his own and instead is still tied to mom’s apron strings. LOL. What a total joke.
Here is a riddle for Comrade Clayton: if “Big Ag” is fucking farmers over so badly by buying their turkeys for a pittance and then selling them for $2.40 per pound, then how come when I go to a farmer’s website that sells turkeys DIRECTLY to the public, the cost is about TRIPLE or even QUADRUPLE that of the “greedy Big Ag” people??
Shouldn’t the noble farmer just ALSO sell his turkey for $2.40 per pound and keep all the money for himself, thus putting evil Big Ag out of business??
Furthermore, if running a turkey processing plant is such a massive money maker (by ripping off the stupid turkey farmers) then why aren’t businessmen who are WAY smarter and WAY richer than Comrade Clayton getting into that business and getting in on the action? Lemme guess, Comrade Clayton is way smarter than all of them too, right? Smarter than Bill Ackman, Jeff Bezos, David Tepper and the dozens of billionaire entrepreneurs out there as well, right?
You complete tool bag. Instead of spinning your wheels crying about how much money turkey farmers get (which does NOT affect you one bit), what you should REALLY worry about is your own backyard. You STILL don’t have a website to sell your “local meats” you promised A YEAR AGO! You STILL can’t make a living on the “fifth-generation ranch” you were handed for FREE!! LOL. Fucktard.
