The Original Lampasshole

If You Tire Of Posts Bashing Clayton Tucker and Other Shitlibs, This Is Not The Week To Read Here.

Yeah, I’m not even close to done taking shits on the commies yet. I keep thinking about how we came THIS/CLOSE(the bullet to Trump’s head) to the death of our republic. I don’t know if we’re in some kind of computer simulation and they are fucking with us, or we are in another dimension where the luckiest shit happens, but I’ll take it. I’m going to keep celebrating our good fortune.

This must have been what it felt like when WWII ended and everybody went out and partied and fucked each other and we ended up with the Baby Boom. I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a Trump Baby Boom next fall. Not for Clayton Tucker, of course. But for normal, well-adjusted heterosexual couples.

Apparently some old fossil who ran the Texas Democrat Party has resigned and all the commies are in a tizzy about who to elect next. Naturally, Comrade Clayton’s “Texas Progressive Caucus” thinks they should have a say. LOL. He’s all mad about how the shitlibs got absolutely massacred a few days ago and is blaming it on the “fat cats” at the top taking all the money and not really doing anything to promote victory.

Apparently their 72-year-old fossil Chairman doesn’t even know how to use Twitter….

Of course, Comrade Clayton the sucker literally JUST WROTE a check to the Texas Democratic Party recently! He was swindled for $663, as his disclosures show. His Bluebonnet PAC also gave $1,500 to Jennifer Lee, who was running in House District 55. Lee got her ass kicked by Hillary Hickland 58% to 42%. LOL. Truly, Clayton Tucker is a mover and a shaker and a kingmaker in the Texas Democrat Party! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

[Hold on while I add “Jennifer Lee” to the long list of candidates that Comrade Clayton has mushed by rooting for them or donating money to them. Ok…done]

You see, Comrade Clayton ACTUALLY BELIEVES in all this “we are all equal” shit, so he was completely blindsided when the Fat Cats at the top took a ton of money from suckers like Comrade Clayton and only helped themselves, and not the “little people.” If Comrade Clayton knew his history, he’d know that is EXACTLY how every communist and socialist revolution turns out. The small group of scumbags at the top live like kings, while “the people” live ‘equally’ in squalor. It has literally happened every time. But Comrade Clayton stupidly thinks that HE will be part of the inner circle! LOL. What a maroon!

Anyways, he is VERY MAD about how badly the shitlibs did on Tuesday. So mad, in fact, that he posted a poll for everyone to take and tell him if they should raise a LOT of hell over the loss or just A LITTLE hell. As you can see, the poll was a roaring success and shows the massive power of Comrade Clayton’s “Progressive Caucus”…he got FIVE whole votes over the last two days!!

FIVE VOTES! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. So the vote was 3 to 2? But posting it as “60%” sounds SO much better. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Boy, they are going to REALLY raise hell, those five dorks. I can also guarantee you that one of those five votes is Comrade Clayton himself. I bet when he saw he only had like three votes registered and nobody gave a shit about his stupid poll or his “caucus” he yelled downstairs Wednesday night to his mom and told her to vote, too. “Mom! You need to get online and vote to raise a lot of hell! Mom? You there??”

Poor Terry Tucker. I see her at the gym a lot and she just looks defeated. Like any mom who still had her loser son living with her at age 34 and badgered her to vote in his retarded on-line polls.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Fucking LOSER!!

Up next: a definitive list of all the candidates Comrade Clayton has mushed over the last 5 years.

These Are The Dorks Who Blew a BILLION Dollars, Went $20 Million Into Debt And Got Their Ass Kicked.

Kamala spent $1 billion and ended up $20 million in debt all so she could hire these social rejects to run and manage her social media operation.

It was thoroughly enjoyable stuffing these dorks in a locker at the bargain price of FREE.

I can’t be the only one noticing this: everywhere I go, people just seem happier. There’s hope and joy in their faces that wasn’t there the last 4 years. They’re breathing a sigh of relief because they know everything is going to be alright.

Socialist Clown Has Accomplished Exactly ZERO Over Last Three Years.

Here is local socialist bodaggit Clayton Tucker bragging three years ago in the Dispatch about how “we ain’t scared of no one” and “we’re gonna chip away at that red wall in rural Texas!“

That was in November 2021, when Mike Collier came to town. Who’s Mike Collier? Exactly. Just another past failed candidate that Comrade Clayton glommed onto and doomed with his powers of mush.

So what has Comrade Clayton accomplished in the last three years since his bold proclamations? The hundreds of Zoom calls, the dozens of trips to tiny towns three hours away to meet 6 old ladies and babble about socialism like an annoying Amway salesman? The useless trips to Seattle and San Francisco and Washington D.C.? The “virtual rallies” and other ridiculous nonsense?

Let’s look at the papers today and see how Comrade Clayton has changed the world:

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Whoops.

How about Lampasas county? The very county where Comrade Clayton lives in his mom’s upstairs bedroom and is without gainful employment? Well, nothing has changed there either! In fact, things got “worse” from Comrade Clayton’s point of view.

2016 results: Trump got 78% of the vote.

2024 results: Trump got 80% of the vote.

Oh dear. So much for “chipping away at the red wall” – you haven’t chipped away shit, you clown. In fact, the wall looks stronger than ever. The only thing being chipped away is your very life as you waste it on gay shit like this. Most 34-year-olds have a career, a wife and kids by now.

You have nothing. No accomplishments. No job. No girl. No house or property of your own. No life. Just masturbatory fantasies of a socialist country that will NEVER happen now.

Let’s look at something else Comrade Clayton posted almost FOUR years ago!!

***Hashtag Dorks Of Lampasas! Hashtag SuperFag!***

This was after the protests on Jan 6, 2021 – when people were rightfully upset that the Marxist scum in this country abused the mail-in voting system and used unprotected drop boxes to steal an election. Comrade Clayton actually called Ted Cruz a seditionist and President Trump a “domestic terrorist.” Comrade Clayton did this in his official capacity as an “employee” of Our Revolution Texas – a Marxist Bernie Sanders offshoot organization.

Today? Our Revolution is long gone and defunct, Comrade Clayton lost his “job” there as a communist agitator, Ted Cruz was just re-elected by a huge margin, and Trump is president again. I bet that stings a lot, doesn’t it Comrade Clayton?? To watch the last four years of your life be revealed as a 100% and total waste of time. Every single thing you did – the dumb rallies, the Zoom calls, the thousands of Twitter posts, all your stupid non-profits and social media bullshit….all for NOTHING. NOTHING!!!!!!

Actually, it’s even WORSE than that: you went BACKWARDS! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Douchebag.

Does Comrade Clayton maybe take time for some introspection? Does he maybe consider that people largely reject socialism, Marxism and woke horseshit and maybe THAT is why you keep losing?

Hell no! He’s ready to double down again!!

There is Comrade Clayton taking a shit on Colin Allred: the VERY SAME ASSHOLE he was just making “campaign commercials” for about 10 days ago. LOL.

Comrade Clayton and fellow shitlib dummy Meebs Aslam have concluded that they need to go MORE left to win! What these two morons are clearly forgetting is that the Democrats HAD A PRIMARY to pick their senatorial candidate. They DID put forward a far-left idiot and his name was Roland Gutierrez. The dummycrats had their chance to select a far-left socialist, and guess what? He got destroyed in the primary by a 4-1 margin.

Roland Gutierrez – Endorsed By Socialist Gutter Rat Clayton Tucker – Destroyed In Primary By 4-1 Margin.

THAT is your answer, you tone-deaf imbeciles. NOBODY wants your brand of horseshit. Maybe you two idiots should just both move to Cuba or Venezuela next week and save yourselves a lot of trouble. Seriously, why don’t you two shitheads just pick up and move to California or Illinois or New York NEXT WEEK and get the fuck outta here with that commie crap??

Fuck you both.

MEGA MAGA LANDSLIDE :

Gains in 49 states + D.C.

Biggest party swing since 1992

Best Republican showing in 20 years with 18-29 year-olds; 48 years with Black voters; 52+ years with Hispanics

Best popular vote for House Republicans in presidential year since 1928

Swann Tried to Be Boss Hogg – Ends Up Sacrificial Lamb

Remember this parade float?

I’ve written about her a few times then promptly forgot about her. We all knew she never had a chance. Even Comrade Clayton’s commie caucus refused to endorse her, lol.

Anyways, as I was checking results for Texas House districts today I saw her name and laughed. I had totally forgotten she was even in a race.

Anyways – Spiller kicked the shit out of her by 74 points. The end.

I imagine this “college professor” is also in tears over the Trump win. What a shame.

Once Trump Breaks You Over His Knee, You Are Finished. Forever.

The thing about losing to Trump is that whoever does so never recovers.

That person is forever known as a political cadaver, never to be taken seriously by anyone except a niche group paid to validate the opinions of a loser.

This happened to Hillary, Biden, Jeb Bush, and Liz Cheney.

Likewise, Kamala was also sacrificed by a party machine eager to get rid of her. They knew this would be her fate. It’s both tragic and joy-inducing.

Speaking of breaking things, it appears that Christine Seefeldt is getting closer to a complete brain shatter. She is posting more and more frequently with wildly different sentiments – like a schizophrenia patient. One minute she’s lashing out then an hour later she is pretending to be serene and calm and taking the high road. LOL. Poor thing. Her tiny brain is going to follow Carol Garner Doughty’s tiny brain into the abyss. So sad.

Nah, my daughter and my home will be fine, because I’m not a fucking loser and moron.

We Have A Winner: Carol Garner Doughty Deletes Social Media After Kamala Loss.

Grady Lucas and Christine Seefeldt are definitely losing their minds, but at least they are still posting. Crazy Cunt Carol has deleted her accounts altogether.

Good thing I took screenshots of all her insanity before her brain broke and she disappeared.

I can picture her sobbing to her fake tranny daughter “James” about how he/they isn’t safe anymore. Then I picture her 27-year-old manchild son who is STILL in school collecting degrees and wanting a cushy job in DEI realizing that all the DEI bullshit is about to come crashing down now that the adults are in charge. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

You know what else? She moved to Massachusetts to get away from all the horrible “violent, bloody” conservatives in Texas, but guess what? Trump is still your president up there in MA. For the next four years! Then you get JD Vance after that for eight years, you shriveled twat. Think about that.

It really warms my heart.

King Pussyfag Jimmy Kimmel Cries On TV Over Trump Win. My Cup Runneth Over.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Keep em coming. I want to see DeNiro and Bryan Cranston cry, too. Also Rob Reiner is supposed to set himself on fire.

Emotional Jimmy Kimmel Chokes Up As He Gives Trump Voters 1 Huge Reality Check

Are there any doctors out there who can tell me how many hours is too many hours to have a non-stop erection? Because I am going on about 42 hours right now. Yeah, it’s hard to take a piss in the morning but still totally worth it.

Here is a list of some of the assholes who have promised to leave the country if Trump won. I’m fine with all of them going except for Fauci. He needs to go on trial for crimes against humanity and then hanged publicly if found guilty by a jury of his peers.

1. Alec Baldwin

2. Whoopi Goldberg

3. John Legend

4. Chrissy Teigen

5. Rob Reiner

6. Barbara Streisand

7. Cher

8. Nancy Pelosi

9. Hillary Clinton

10. Megan Rapinoe

11. Tom Hanks

12. Amy Schumer

13. AOC

14. Lady Gaga

15. Taylor Swift

16. Bill Gates

17. Jane Fonda

18. Madonna

19. Mark Ruffalo

20. Kim Kardashian

21. Bruce Springsteen

22. George Clooney

23. Hunter Biden

24. Oprah

25. Robert De Niro

26. Samuel L Jackson

27. Miley Cyrus

28. Travis Kelce

29. Bobbi Althoff

30. Rashida Talib

31. Stormy Daniels

32. Dr. Anthony Fauci

33. George Soros

34. Diddy

35. Eminem

36. Ellen DeGeneres

37. Sean Penn

38. Sharon Stone

39. Ashley Judd

40. Tommy Lee

41. Bryan Cranston

42. Billie Joe Armstrong

Socialist Maggot Finally Pokes Head Up To Survey Electoral Carnage. Gets Everything Wrong, Of Course.

Like a dazed and retarded meerkat, Comrade Clayton finally poked his head above ground on social media to look around and survey the carnage that was visited upon the shitlibs Tuesday night. He gazed upon the wreckage…and he was not pleased:

Well, that was a shitshow.Having been raised on a ranch,I know what bull smells like — and I’m telling y’all, there’s some major bull in the Democratic Party & how campaigns are run.

***It’s the ‘corpodems’! LOL. Clayton making up bogeymen now.***

Much the way Kumswalla Harris started every answer to a question with the “I was raised in a middle class family” lie, so does Comrade Clayton like to begin with his “I was raised on a ranch” lie. He wasn’t. He grew up in Georgetown in a normal house. He didn’t even live in Lampasas until 2016 at age 25.

In 2019 when he ran his first failed campaign for House District 54 against Brad Buckley, he told the Temple Daily Telegram he was a “political organizer” for a communist front group – he did NOT say he was a rancher. Because he wasn’t.

***Still in “Bernie Sanders Bro” phase – no fake cowboy hat yet for his “fake rancher” phase.***

He was never an “environmental researcher” either. Just another lie. He worked for 60 days as an intern in college:

But that is all well-known to readers of this blog.

The main point is that a kid who lives with his mom and has gotten crushed all three times he has run for office is now giving advice as to why Kumswalla Harris got humiliated on Tuesday night. Mind you, this is the same idiot who said that Kumswalla visiting Texas late in the campaign was “an encouraging sign,” LOL!!

He wrote about thirty long and rambling paragraphs that try to blame Tuesday’s massacre on just about everything under the sun EXCEPT for the obvious reasons. He even tried to blame NAFTA for the losses, which he said was Reagan’s fault.

(Reagan left office in 1988. NAFTA was signed by Clinton in 1992. But nobody ever accused Comrade Clayton of knowing his history).

Here are the REAL reasons the shitlibs got humiliated and crushed on Tuesday night and now face at least two years of absolute hell:

– parading around with warmongers.

– calling half the country garbage and Nazis.

– calling millions of women weak and stupid.

– hiding from the press, not answering questions, and scripted mechanical responses.

– sending hundreds of billions to other countries while Americans suffer.

– letting in 20 million illegals including violent murderers.

– taxpayer funded transgender surgeries for illegal aliens

But don’t worry, Comrade. You can show us all how to run a great campaign in a year or two when you run for Ag Commissioner and get your ass kicked even harder than you did the first three times you ran for something. LOL. I cannot wait to see it!

It’s Even Worse for The Shitlibs Than You Thought. School Vouchers Coming Next.

This event requires more than just a one-day gloat or even a week-long gloat. I plan on gloating over this for quite a while. I already ordered my Trump Thanksgiving cards to send to all the special people on my list in a couple weeks.

But we didn’t get to rub in the winning at the STATE level yet!

Republicans were poised to expand their majority in the Texas House on Tuesday evening, and appeared on track to flip two seats in historically Democratic districts as South Texas continued its dramatic shift to the right. If those results hold, the GOP will control 87 of 150 seats in the lower chamber when the Legislature reconvenes in January. That margin will give Gov. Greg Abbott “more than enough votes” to finally pass a school voucher bill, he said late Tuesday.

That’s right baby: SCHOOL VOUCHERS!! Guess who hates em? THIS GAL:

Anything Comrade Clayton hates that much is DEFINITELY good for smart, decent, hard-working Texans. Randi Weingarten can go and suck a bag of dicks. I cannot wait.

You know WHY we need vouchers? Because government-run educational monopoly is BAD, mmmkay? Here’s a few examples:

School choice ESPECIALLY helps the low-income students. But Comrade Clayton doesn’t give a shit about that. All he cares about is the far-left liberal teachers’ union and the money they recycle to far-left cunts like Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer and others.

Poor Comrade Clayton. Look at the huge amount of abuse and disappointment he has taken in the last few months:

#1 – His candidate of choice for senate, far-left nutjob Roland Gutierrez, was thumped by Collin All Red in the primaries.

#2 – He then humiliated himself by bending the knee to All Red, and made a super gay “political ad” about him, thus kissing his nutsack in obedience, thinking he’d be friends with a real, live U.S. Senator! Maybe he’d get a cushy job!

#3 – He actually thought All Red had a chance to win but then watched as Ted Cruz ripped him a new anus by 10 points and about a million votes. A race the shitlibs wasted about $100 million dollars on.

#4 – he labelled himself a “white dude for Harris,” which is basically code for “I’m a giant pussy and probably a homosexual.”

#5 – he wasted money on a “Harris – Walz” camo hat thinking Walz was an “agriculture guy” but then Walz was publicly humiliated when he didn’t know how to load a shotgun. Also, credible claims were made against Walz for being a pedophile and trying to bang 13-year-old boys in China. But Clayton still kept wearing that hat like a useful idiot!

#6 – drove all the way to Houston to see Kumswalla Harris at a rally but then got stood up by Beyonce. He also made a quote in the local newspaper about Harris’ Texas rally saying:

“it’s pretty unheard of for a Democratic presidential nominee to be coming to Texas this late in the game. I think that is a very encouraging sign.“

…which turned out to be SPECTACULARLY wrong only 8 days later when Harris was humiliated by losing not only the electoral vote but also the POPULAR vote, as well. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I mean, Comrade Clayton’s newspaper quote could not have been MORE WRONG. He TRULY has ZERO talent for politics.

How much failure and abuse can one clown take?? He has personally mushed the campaigns of about a dozen people now: Bob O’Rourke, Julie Oliver, Kristi Lara, Jonathan Hildner, Roland Gutierrez, Chris Perri, Collin Allred, Jennifer Lee (HD 55), Mike Collier, Kamala Harris, Tim Walz, and the list goes on. He has literally NEVER been on the winning team.

Story of his life.

Texas: Where Democrat Dreams Go To Die. See You In Six Years, Douchebags.

Merry Trumpmas, everyone!!

Remember like 72 hours ago when all the shitlibs ACTUALLY BELIEVED that Collin All Red was pretty much tied with Cruz and Kamala was going to win Iowa? Some severe mental retardation was on display:

LOL. Of course, Polymarket never bought that shit for a second. The wisdom of crowds prevailed over the “experts,” as usual. I have to wonder why any political campaign pays one penny for those “expert” polls when Polymarket does a better job for free.

“Allred really has a chance! It’s neck-and-neck!”

Final results: Ted Cruz wins by 10 points. I think my favorite part of Cruz’s victory speech was when he thanked that moron Chuck Schumer for wasting $100 million in Texas, thus allowing the GOP to steal other senate seats all over the country and massacre the shitlibs across the board.

If only Comrade Clayton had made more stupid “political ad” videos for Collin. If only Comrade Clayton had driven to a few dozen more 12-person rallies and meetings of tiny county democrat parties to “organize” everyone and get them fired up. If only he’d done more silly-assed Zoom calls and roundtables and done more “grassroots” organizing to “empower” rural lefties…

If only he had wasted even more time posting commie drivel on Twitter over the last six months, then maybe Collin All Red would have won.

Nah.

To all the chumps on PredictIt who kept the Kamala markets inflated and gave us an easy arbitrage against Polymarket prices, I say this: thank you for redistributing your wealth into my pocket. I’ll see you at the midterms, suckers!