The Original Lampasshole

Wow! Factor Vanity Project Just Keeps Going, And Going, And Going….

The current delay for the $1.5 million Vanity Project? The elevator, of course! As I had speculated all along. This is the Energizer Bunny of construction projects, apparently. Let’s look at the string of missed deadlines for this disaster:

November 14, 2016: Finley “Spinley” deGraffenried brings bids to Council on elevator equipment and installation. Bids were:

Austin Elevator Co $96,605
Trojan Elevator Co $206,909
RKJ Construction $119,532

“Greasy” Chris Harrison moves to accept bid from RKJ – not the lowest bid – because “they are local and have done previous work for the city”. Seconded by Mike White and passes unanimously.

August 13, 2018: Five days into a 120-day project, ASJ is already asking for another $10,800 for Old City Hall in Change Order #1. Apparently a bathroom needed to be reconfigured, and “the price of metal went up” [LOL]. [You will notice that 115 days from August 13th would mean a finish date of around December 6th, 2018].

November 16th, 2018: Change order #3 for $16,417 and “City officials now hope the building will be ready for use in early 2019,” according to a Lampasas Dispatch article. [Nice and vague – another 3 month delay]

March 10, 2019: Finley assures City Council that the elevator for the City Hall Boondoggle would “arrive in mid-March” and take a week or two to install.

March 24, 2019: According to Finley and city council packets, “production for elevator equipment has been pushed back two to three weeks”. The arrival time is now “projected for the first or second week of April…and crews will take approximately two to three weeks to install.” [This implies a new finish date of approximately May 5th, 2019]

July 30th, 2019: FOUR MONTHS of minutes have showed ZERO further discussion of Old City Hall renovation and The Seven Goldfish seem to have forgotten it completely, as it never appears on Spinley’s reports or Council minutes/packets. I myself wondered out loud why it wasn’t finished yet, seeing as how the last supposed completion date was back on May 5th. I even publicly speculated it was probably the wildly overpriced elevator.

September 17th, 2019: Six weeks after my musings on why the hell the Vanity Project wasn’t done yet, The Dispatch states today that “although the City manager said he hesitates to predict exactly when the renovation project will conclude, he said the project is “very close” to completion. The City is also waiting on “final elevator adjustments”, whatever that means. Yeah, that’s the same elevator that Spinley assured us was going to be done in March…six months ago.

Just a reminder: City Council COULD have given the elevator bid to Austin Elevators for $96,000 but then-Council-genius Chris Harrison wanted to “keep it local” and give the contract to RKJ Construction for $126,000 (originally $119,000). How’s that working out for you?

Budget “Shall Be Finally Adopted on The 15th Day”….Was It?

According to the City’s own charter (Section 6.02):

The budget shall be finally adopted not later than the fifteenth (15) day of the last month of the fiscal year [September]. Should the Council take no final action on or prior to that day, the budget, as submitted, shall be deemed to have been finally adopted by the Council.

We already know the PROPOSED budget was never posted on the City website for the ~~suckers~~ taxpayers to peruse. I had to personally request that – even though according to Section 6.02 the City Manager “shall submit to City Council” a proposed budget no later than 60 days prior to end of the fiscal year….which would have been July 31st.

Well – today is the 17th of September. I guess the proposed budget is now adopted? Where is it? I sure don’t see it on the website under “approved budgets” (bottom of page). Do you?

Weed Patch Blasts From The Past

Since I was digging through the Dispatch archives anyways, I thought it would be humorous to copy down all of the hilariously inaccurate promises about the ~~weed patch~~ ~~corpse repository~~ Business Park. Here are some good ones:

“Ms. Toups said she wants to continue to provide infrastructure to develop the business park — which she said Harrison spoke against publicly. Ms. Toups said through the Lampasas Economic Development Corp.’s hard work, “we are on the verge of seeing large corporations come in [to the business park].” – April 21, 2017

“DeGraffenried said the LEDC was bold in its decisions to purchase the business park property and extend utilities to it. The city manager predicted Lampasas will enjoy many “spin-off benefits” throughout the city because of the utility work. ” – Oct 23, 2015

“Recent land clearing and development of a road at the business park, Mrs. Masonheimer added, have made the site more attractive to prospective businesses and U.S. 183 passersby.” – Oct 23, 2015

“Projects like this send a message that the city will provide the infrastructure needed for job growth,” [letter written by crusty, big-spending RINO fossil-dummy Roger Williams, U.S. Congressman] – Oct 23, 2015

“An economic study in 2001, [Neal] Leavell said, concluded a business park was the main item Lampasas needed to attract development.” – Oct 23, 2015

“We look forward to working with you and working to fill this business park with good jobs,” she said [Carol Faulkenberry, Texas Dept Agriculture] – Oct 23, 2015

“Mrs. Monroe noted the Lampasas Economic Development Corp. is working with the business park south of town on U.S. Highway 183, and she said she hopes the site will attract good employers to Lampasas. [Council member TJ Monroe] – April 14, 2015

“The incumbent said the city acquired the business park property several years ago but has lacked the infrastructure needed at the site. Soon, she said, the business park will be developed enough to be inviting to businesses. [Then-council-member Wanda Bierschwale] – April 10, 2015

“Grayson said he hopes to develop the business park and attract companies to the site.” [Then-mayor Grayson running for re-election] – April 3, 2015

The council also voted to guarantee funds for the LEDC’s loan with First State Bank Central Texas. The bank requested the guarantee in the event the LEDC becomes unable to pay off the loan. The LEDC’s $1.77 million loan from the Lampasas bank includes $1.3 million for the business park utilities. – Oct 17, 2014

“I feel like we’re getting somewhere,” board president Dr. Neal Leavell added. “I think we’ve really accomplished something. It’s taken a lot of patience, but we’re here.” – September 23, 2014

“Advocates of utility extensions have said entities compete vigorously for new jobs and that cities with ready-to-build sites have an advantage as they try to attract new businesses.” – August 8, 2014

“Economic development officials have said utilities for the business park are essential to make the 165-acre area attractive to companies.” – July 22, 2014

The LEDC was “proactive,” deGraffenried said, in acquiring the U.S. 183 property several years ago for a business park. The goal of utility extensions, the city manager said, is to develop the land into a site that can promote economic growth. – June 17, 2014

Here is the final side-splitter – September 23, 2014:

“Of the LEDC’s loan from First State Bank Central Texas, $1.3 million is for the business park utilities. Another $465,000 is for refinancing of the LEDC’s debt on the business park land. The total $1.77 million loan is for 15 years at a fixed interest rate of 3.35 percent. Along with the infrastructure the LEDC will fund, Lampasas has $200,000 in the city’s upcoming fiscal year budget for electrical extensions to the business park.

“The LEDC’s new debt service payment will be about $150,000 a year, Mrs. Masonheimer said. The economic development corporation projects annual revenue of about $250,000, which will leave approximately $100,000 for operating costs after making loan payments. “

BAHAHAHAHA!!! Annual revenue of about $250,000? Good one. Here we are FIVE years later and about $300,000.00 in interest payments (money vaporized)….and still no companies generating that $250,000 in revenue. No “high-paying jobs” in the park. There never will be. It is a pipe dream for morons.

Masonheimer is long gone, of course….and the weed patch sits empty, a black hole for tax dollar tithes to Pope Eckermann and other vultures. I don’t blame Masonheimer. She was given an impossible task by moron politicians. A fool’s errand, if you will. Everything I’ve read in the minutes paint her as a fairly intelligent woman with a good work ethic. She was just set up to fail. The same will happen to Mandy Walsh.

None of these boobs have EVER heard of the Sunk Cost Fallacy. They will keep flushing money down this ~~corpse repository~~ black hole for years and years. Mark my words.

Dissolve the LEDC. Sell the land. Stay they hell out of the “development” business. That is the rational course of action.

“Shovel Ready” – Another Lie

“You keep using that word…I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Years and years ago, there was much fanfare as ground was “broken” on the Lampasas Economic Development Corporation’s “Business Park”. Photos were taken of self-important politicians holding shovels in a 165-acre weed patch that was soon going to attract Big Businesses and “well-paying jobs” to Lampasas.

I laughed my balls off at this back then. The idea of a group of self-important Lampassholes “developing” the local economy is as hilarious to me as Soviet Politburo planners commanding their socialist economy. Anyone with a brain knows it doesn’t work.

Not to mention, the labor pool here is about a foot wide an an inch deep. A large portion of the labor pool has trouble with basic math and spelling….not to mention tying their shoes. If you don’t believe me, go spend five minutes reading Facebook posts on Lampasas County Breaking News.

They have wasted over a million dollars on this boondoggle so far. They even went so far as to have a ridiculous “artists rendition” drawn up of the futuristic, high-paying ‘business park”. See?

Of course, like all the other grandiose plans of dummy politicians, it was a disaster. Here is the current reality – a weed patch where corpses occasionally get dumped:

In a hilarious and ironic example of foreshadowing (look it up, Monica), they later realized their tiny $1,500 sign was almost impossible to read while speeding by at 70MPH – which is the speed limit on that road.

Even funnier is the red splotch on the upper left that reads “SHOVEL READY Q4 2015“. See it? I do. Well, that was a gigantic lie…and still is to this day. How do I know?

I know this by reading the LEDC’s own packets for next week’s meeting. On page 31-32 Mandy Walsh is giving details on the oh-so-huge interest in the Business Park...but the problem is that all of these interested parties are “on an accelerated timeline and we may not be able to accommodate”.

In other words, these saps actually thought that “shovel ready” meant “shovel ready” and they can move in tomorrow! Please!! The LEDC has only spent four years and over a million dollars since the “shovel ready” lie was painted on that sign! What do you think they are??? Miracle workers??

Mandy then adds that (and I quote) “…once infrastructure is in place FOR TRUE SHOVEL-READY SITES, I think we’ll gain even more interest.”

So, to once again parody The Princess Bride, I guess before now the sites were just MOSTLY shovel ready. Not ALL shovel ready, right?

But don’t despair! Pope Eckermann The Engineer has been handed a $100,000 tithe by the LEDC and HE will bless this park with more “development” and the high-paying jobs will then come rolling in! Hallelujah! Praise be to the LEDC!

Transparency Is For Government…Privacy Is For Citizens.

I know it irks a lot of people that this blog is written anonymously. There is a reason for that. Those in power have a long history of going after those who disagree with them – sometimes violently.

Historian Gordon S. Wood described the 1775 pamphlet Common Sense as “the most incendiary and popular pamphlet of the entire revolutionary era”.

Common Sense, arguably a founding document of this very country I love so much, was also written anonymously because Thomas Payne knew that Big Government has the power to ruin you and even kill you. It’s also the reason a LOT of people in this town privately agree with me, encourage me, and even point me in certain directions to look for graft and waste – yet they keep their mouths shut in public. They know it would take but a phone call for Finley or City Council or another City big wig to sic the Health Department on them…or cite some silly code enforcement…or make their lives miserable a dozen other ways.

The facts I state here (and CONSTANTLY link to) are no less true because they are written under a nom de plume. My opinions, when expressed and labeled as such, are also protected speech under the First Amendment….yet another cornerstone of this fine country.

I know that sticks in the craw of some people high up. I also know the first response of those in power when criticized is rarely “hmmm, perhaps he’s right – let’s reconsider our ways”. It is far more often “shut that guy up any way possible.”

It happens at all level of government – federal, state and yes, even our little local government here. It’s a sad state of affairs, but it happens every day.

Lampasas Kinda Rhymes With “Half-Ass It” – Which is What Finley and The Seven Goldfish Do!

There was a brief moment in time where an effort was made at transparency in City government. Just look below! They actually posted proposed budgets on-line so the peons could look through them at their leisure and have their eyes goggle at the outrageous wasteful spending. Three years in a row and then a random year for the 2016-2017 budget:

I don’t see the latest 2019-2020 budget there, do you? OR the year before….or the year before….

Of course, nobody has bothered to post that stuff in YEARS. We just half-ass it here. No need to sweat stupid details like posting the proposed city budget when you can instead make grandiose “transparency” plans like squandering $95,000.00 on a no-bid audio/visual system with lots of bells and whistles and cameras promising to record all City Council meetings for “transparency” sake. (A system which was paid for almost a YEAR ago and was supposed to launch six months ago but which STILL sits unused in the new Council chambers in the STILL unopened $1,500,000.00 Old City Hall renovation).

No, no, little peon taxpayer. They aren’t going to use the convenient website we pay $5,000 per year to maintain and which Monica Wright is supposed to update. Instead we will demand you show up in person at the school cafeteria at 7pm on a Monday night and sit through hours of Bruce Haywood pontificating on the new Burger King. THAT’s the Lampasas Way!

9-11: Never Forget

Never forget that THREE buildings collapsed symmetrically, at the rate of free fall, due to fires that were nowhere near temperatures that could weaken steel beams.

Never forget that WTC Building 7 was not hit by a plane.

Never forget that thermite (military-grade demo incendiary) was found in multiple, independent dust samples all over Manhattan.

Never forget that D.C., the most highly surveilled city on the planet, doesn’t have one single frame of the “plane” that hit the Pentagon

Never forget.

Oh, and don’t forget The Dancing Israelis either

Not Only Has IT Department Head Monica Wright Not Explained Ransomware Attack – She Skipped The Next City Council Meeting!!

For those of you not aware, on August 16th the City of Lampasas was hit by a ransomware attack. The city network apparently having been left wide open by our TWO highly-paid computer experts. Here is a timeline of what transpired.

You’d think after the city was held hostage for ten days and at LEAST $36,000 worth of equipment was ruined (that we know of), City Council might have some questions and Monica Wright (the HEAD of the IT Department) might have some answers or explanations about how it happened and why it won’t happen again.

Nope.

One reason for the lack of details was that Monica Wright couldn’t even be bothered to show up for the August 26th City Council meeting to make her departmental report!! She sent her sidekick and supposed “network administrator” to the meeting instead [page 1: City Staff present]. See photo of minutes below:

There are only two explanations for this: Monica was on one of her many vacations OR she was afraid to face the music. She loves having the title and extra pay of a ‘department head’, apparently….but she doesn’t want all those icky responsibilities and hard work.

Well, at least Kristy was there to explain it all – since she is ostensibly (look it up, Monica) in charge of the City’s network.

Nope. Apparently Kristy sat there twiddling her thumbs the entire meeting. No report was made by her either. The fire chief made his report and that was the end of any departmental reports (see pages 5 and 6). See photo below:

Not only that, City Council (whom I call The Seven Goldfish, due to their very short memories) didn’t even ask about it!! In fact, Misti Talbert THANKED them for their hard work and that was the end of it.

I’d like to tell you that City Manager Finley “Spinley” DeGraffenried was there to make a report on the cyber attack, but HE wasn’t there either! He sent his assistant Gary Cox to “commend the IT and Finance Departments” over the ransomware attack. I assume he included the Finance Department since they will be writing a bunch of huge checks to replace all the ruined computer servers and computers, right?

Another $30,388 Requested For Computers and Servers Ruined in Ransomware Attack – New Total Damage at $36,604

The hits just keep coming! In addition to the $6,216 Monica Can’t-Wright is requesting for new computers wrecked by the recent “minimal impact” ransomware attack, there are even MORE requests to replace ruined equipment.

Only in Lampasas government would the Mayor praise our IT Department with one breath, and in the next breath be approving $36,604 to replace equipment ruined in the attack they allowed.

The Wastewater Department needs a new SCADA computer, since the old one was “compromised in the recent ransomware incident and is not operational” – request for $15,995.00 (page 131)

City Hall servers wrecked in ransomware attack – $14,393.58 (page 125).

Wow. I wonder how many more pieces of expensive equipment were wrecked in this ‘minimal impact’ ransomware attack.

I guess the “hard work” the IT team did was to write up purchase orders for all the equipment they allowed to be wrecked by leaving the city network open to attack. Great job, team!!

Monica Can’t-Wright Requests $6,216.36 In Emergency Funds for Computers Ruined in Ransomware Attack

Apparently the “minimal impact” ransomware event wasn’t entirely minimal. The first casualty popped up in City Council packets (page 103): Monica needs $6,216.36 to replace some ruined computers.

Over $1,000 per computer? Seems high – I see nice computers on Amazon for $300 all the time. But after digging, I see some of that is also for some new monitors! Because computer viruses always ruin the monitors too, right Monica? Or maybe somebody is just using this debacle as an excuse to buy some fancy new monitors. I’d place my bets on the latter.

Must be awesome to work for the city IT Department: Blow hundreds of thousands per year on fancy equipment, take 8 or 9 weeks off every year, get almost $30,000 in benefits IN ADDITION to your bloated salary, leave the City network open to attack and STILL get to keep your job, nobody asks you a single question about how it happened and THEN you tell Spinley and The Seven Goldfish you need over $6,000 to buy some new stuff because you wrecked the old stuff.

Hell, $6,200 is spit in the ocean compared to a $185,000 bathroom – the Goldfish won’t even bat an eye.

Rest assured I have requested records on which department these computers were from, how old they were and what they originally cost. Maybe Jo-Christy Brown will deny me that information as well.