It’s getting cold and feels like fall. You know what that means! Time for the Texas Municipal League Annual Conference! This is an annual circle-jerk of nonsense and bureaucratic babble, brought to you by a group that is unabashedly pro Big Government and whose number-one priority is looking out for government workers – not the taxpayer. They are first and foremost an organization BY government bureaucrats FOR government bureaucrats.…taxpayers be damned.
Naturally, Lampasas taxpayers send City employees and politicians every year to listen to this nonsense and spin their wheels….at great expense to the City of Lampasas.
We will delve into how the TML actively works to screw the taxpayer (with YOUR money) in an upcoming post. But for now, just look at some of the ridiculous session descriptions for this year! I think my favorite is number two. A stereotypical pile of bureaucratic bullshit babble filled with buzzwords and circular yammering:
Village of The Hills – Stay or Play? (presented by TCMA — Texas City Management Association)
Find the courage to break with the past in order to tackle the future. Hear insights from leaders in the Village of The Hills on how to implement cultural change. Speakers: Eric Ovlen, Mayor, Village of the Hills
Race and Equity: How Your City Can Implement Targeted Strategies to Improve Outcomes (presented by TABCCM—Texas Association of Black City Council Members)
In this session, local leaders will explore “targeted universalism,” a strategic framework that can create the transformational changes that cities need and are looking for to improve life chances and enhance and sustain equitable policies and programs while embedding racial equity throughout the city as a core lens. Speaker: Ariel Guerrero, Co-Founder, O&G Racial Equity Collaborative
Elevating Trust in Local Government
Be empowered with the tools necessary to tap into the hearts and minds of citizens, re-engaging them in community visioning. Specifically, learn about the differences between community-based strategic planning and other plans, the anatomy of a community-based plan, and effective techniques for engaging citizens in the planning process. Attendees will learn how to take what citizens are saying and synthesize it into clear directives for the city and ensure that their plan lasts and is implemented effectively. Speakers: Rick Davis, City Manager, City of Baytown; Nick Woolery, Innovation and Strategy Director, City of Baytown; and Dan Griffiths
So I attended ArtoberFest yesterday for the first time ever. Not out of any need to paint my face or eat food truck fare…but rather to further prove my point about the colossal waste of a NO-BID $185,000 bathroom in Campbell Park.
I would peg the crowd at maybe 100 people – and I was there at 2:30 in the afternoon. I guess that would be considered ‘major’ by Lampasas standards. Maybe another 100 moved through there during the day before and after I was there. Point being, the head of the Parks Department chimed in last month that there are “four major events a year there, so we need a bathroom” or something to that effect. My argument is that a couple of Porta-Potties should handle that need just fine – especially when your “huge crowds” of 150 people only happen about 3 to 5 total days a year (or roughly 1% of the time).
The sanitation needs were met by J Bar Sanitary Restrooms – and they were SPECTACULAR! I do not work for J Bar. I have never heard of J Bar until yesterday. But their Porta-potties are the best I have ever seen. No joke. I highly recommend. They were pristine.
And guess what else?? They are cheap as dirt! You can rent one of these for an entire WEEK for $115! That is a steal. Of course, somebody overdid it with FOUR of these things when two would have sufficed yesterday, but whatever. Here is a shot of $460 dollars worth of toilets – it would take over 100 years to spend that same $185,000 on Porta-Potties, by the way:
Extra-large model on the left accommodates those users of Haywoodian proportions
The bathroom I used looked like it hadn’t been used all day – and that was 4.5 hours into the festival. So I’m pretty sure two of these would have sufficed – for a total cost of only about $250 to the city.
But let’s take it a step further! There were about 6 food trucks and 12 other vendors there – which (according to the Chamber of Commerce website) should have brought in close to $1000 in fees from those vendors. Why should the city pay anything at all? Take the $250 from your vendor revenue and voila….a zero-cost, extremely clean bathroom at every ‘major’ event. Bathrooms that are hassle-free and DON’T NEED TO BE CLEANED by the City!!
I realize that my plan outlined above makes logical, rational and economic sense. It is bulletproof and has already been proven to work….which is why Spinley and the Seven Goldfish are ignoring it and instead plowing ahead with the idiotic $185,000 no-bid bathroom [page 67]….a bathroom that will also have to be cleaned by somebody – a somebody who will be on the City payroll [page 73] and reaping tons of benefits that will likely cost the taxpayer $30 an hour.
Rumors have been swirling that a Big Wig in City government may have been shown the door….or resigned. This rumor was been around a while now, so I am surprised the news hasn’t broken yet. Finley must need to muster all his skills to spin this, since he’s taking forever to release it to the public (assuming this rumor is correct). I guess we’ll know soon!
Coming soon: a behind-the-scenes look at the mayhem during the Aug 16th ransomware attack. Internal emails show what REALLY went down. Only The Original Lampasshole gives you the TRUE story.
Since the City recently declared we need a no-bid $185,000 bathroom in Campbell Park to handle the hordes of people, I decided to do an informal survey of park usage over the last month. I drive by that area quite a bit and made it a point to pull over and count the people in the park.
Cooper Springs is right across the street, so I looked at that too. Quite frankly, calling Cooper Springs a ‘park’ is a bit of a stretch. It is a big weed patch that the City mows a trail into…and it resembles just about everyone’s backyard if they let it go for a few months. But whatever….there was ONE car at Cooper Springs on the 17th. That was it.
The following shows which day of September and the time I made the observation….and then number is how many people I saw there:
06 3:30pm 2 (teens)
07 2:20pm 0
09 1:15pm 0
12 4:00pm 0
14 7:30pm 0
15 9:30am 0
16 3:15pm 1
17 9:00am 0
19 10:30am 0
26 9:15am 0
26 3:00pm 0
27 7:00pm 5 (2 were kids)
28 2:00pm 0
29 9:00am 0
30 2:00pm 1
Admittedly, this is a small sample size, but it sure doesn’t look good for the ridiculous argument that there are throngs of people using this park and a $185,000 bathroom is a pressing need. A grand total of 9 people.
I counted one person on Sept 16th at Campbell Park – she was just walking down the sidewalk on Hackberry and not actually in the park…but I counted her anyways, since the above table is so pathetic. The guy on the 30th was painting lines on the basketball court, but I’ll count him too, I guess.
The two teens on Sept 6th appeared to be huffing glue from a paper bag but it’s hard to say for sure from a distance.
For those of you living under a rock, the geniuses at City Hall (and the LEDC) have recently retained Halff Associates, a ‘consulting’ firm, to help “plan the future of Lampasas”.
I have largely ignored this fiasco because it is such a terrible idea and a colossal waste of time. The kinds of people who will answer this survey are the same morons who live on Facebook and say that “we need a Starbucks!” or “we need a drive-in movie theater!” and have IQs of about 86 and a net worth of $152. They haven’t the faintest clue that you need a certain sized population with a certain income level to support those types of businesses.
They think that because THEY like the idea and it “got a bunch of likes on Facebook” (yes, that really happened) that that makes it a viable business that will flourish and profit (yes, I’m looking at you Ashley Cain).
Of course, on their very next Facebook post, those same geniuses are begging people for $25 so they can ‘finish their schooling in crystal healing’ or begging for a free crib for their infant. In short, people with no money and no brains will not be good Starbucks customers. People WITH money and brains know this – which is why they won’t open a Starbucks in the first place. It would go out of business in about six weeks.
This basic fact of life is clearly lost on the “city planners” and the Lampasas Economic Development Corporation. The LEDC wastes piles of money on useless and fruitless endeavors every year: business parks, conventions, buzz words, brainstorming sessions, vision statements, Texas Municipal League conventions….and now $120,000.00 on a ‘survey’ from Halff Associates.
Out of curiosity, I finally went to waste 20 minutes of my life to take the survey – mainly to give a bunch of incorrect answers and throw off the results. Lo and behold, this big, expensive $120,000 project is actually just a survey on SurveyMonkey.com! Holy Christ! ANYBODY can go to SurveyMonkey and do their own survey! The basic plan is FREE!!! The most expensive is $75. Yet these City bozos and politicians just paid Halff Associates $120,000.00 to go and put up a survey for them! My god, how stupid can you be? They could have done this themselves FOR FREE or nearly free!
I have to hand it to Halff Associates. They look like consummate scam artists with this racket they are running. They go to some desperate dummy politicians and low-IQ City bureaucrats with the promise of “developing” the economy and “giving everyone a say in the community” or some other flowery bullshit. They charge them $120,000 for their “expertise” and then they just go to a WEBSITE THAT ALREADY EXISTS(surveymonkey.com) and throw up a survey in about 30 minutes! I bet they even use the exact same questions for every city they rip off with this scam! It’s already all written and ready to go! They are essentially stealing $120,000 from Lampasas for probably about 75 minutes of work.
When the dust settles, Lampasas will have wasted $120,000 on an essentially free service which will give answers from some of the dumbest people** in town. You gotta love government work.
Turns out they have! The original Drunken Sailor herself, Mayor Talbert, was actually AGAINST these types of giveaways back in August of 2014. So was Chuck Williamson! Fancy that!
As usual, they were desperately looking for revenue back in 2014. Those of us in the REAL world know that government has a SPENDING problem…not a revenue problem. But dummy politicians and City bureaucrats always go looking for more money first and never look at their own ledgers for waste.
Anyways, there was a HUGE discussion in the Lampasas Dispatch Record chronicling the debate between City council about how to raise MORE money and balance the budget back then. Here are some choice excerpts [look it up, Monica] from the article along with some commentary by me:
“Another revenue idea the council discussed is charging for items – such as replacement of broken valves, meter boxes and cleanout caps – the city currently provides for free. “We’ve been giving a lot away,” Mayor Pro Tem Chuck Williamson said. – August 4th, 2017 – page 5
[Chuck Williamson is STILL on City council to this day and JUST “gave a lot away” this year to S2M2 Inc and Deorald Finney! What’s the matter Chuck?? You buddies with all these developers too? Or just going senile?]
“Mrs. Talbert said in light of discussions about taxes and utility rates, the council certainly should consider every revenue source that only impacts the person that causes the problem, or creates the cost, before everybody shares that cost.” Ms. Moreno said charges for those types of items likely will not boost total revenue much, but Mrs. Talbert said it still is an important principle” – August 4th, 2017 – page 5
[The person who creates the cost should pay for it?? Kinda like a homeowner or developer paying for their own electrical hookup? Being one of the Seven Goldfish, I doubt Misti remembers saying this but there it is in black and white! She even had “principles” back then! My, how things have changed]
And here is the coup de grace [look it up, Monica] from my new hero Shane Brown. Shane was the DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC WORKS back then, so he probably knows what he is talking about:
“Public Works Director Shane Brown said the city loses money when officials waive fees for utility extensions.Brown said he questions how much the city benefits compared to the value of what it gives away in waivers“. – August 4th, 2017 – page 5
[Amen, Mr Shane Brown! Testify! Could not have said it better myself].
Of course, this was all in 2014 before Misti transformed into an intoxicated seaman. Now it’s all about buying power, love and admiration with other people’s money in the name of “growth”…a fool’s errand. So much for her “principles” she was babbling about back then. She clearly has none.
These “free” electrical hookups (paid for by YOU) run roughly $1100 per house. God forbid the developer pay this and pass it along to the actual homeowner who will benefit! It might cut into his profits! When he sells a $150,000 house, he might only make $24,000 profit instead of $25,000 profit! We cannot have that!
Here’s how I think it went down (this is my opinion – not fact): S2M2 Inc bought this land, figured they could put N number of houses on it, build those houses for $X and sell them for X+$25,000 or whatever the markup is for developers….so they made a deal with the land seller and got all ready to break ground. All well and good – maybe they make a $25,000 profit on 22 houses and pocket $550,000 after all is said and done.
But THEN, they cleared some brush out and cleaned up the land a bit and realized the drainage sucked and they would have to WASTE three of their precious lots building a detention pond! That would take the profit of THREE houses out of their pockets. Let’s say it was $25,000 each (again, I am not a developer, I am pulling number from my ass that sound like realistic ballpark figures). Taking a $75,000 hit for your own screw-up is what private businesses do all the time. But developers are special private businesses (just ask Greasy Chris). They can go to the morons at the City and explain to them how this detention pond is actually in the best interest of the CITY…and not of S2M2 Inc, who is merely trying to help them out.
[Moron politicians and City bureaucrats fall victim to this faulty ‘logic’ all the time. They extend all sorts of “free” shit in the name of “growth” and “expanding the tax base” and it NEVER works out. They do not understand this or care because (1) 90% of them have never run a business (2) they are severely math challenged and (3) it’s not their money they are giving away….it’s YOURS]
It’s the same kind of idiocy that leads towns to spend $100,000 on Christmas lights and say “people will come and visit and we’ll make it all back on sales tax revenue” – which is absolute unmitigated nonsense if you are familiar with third-grade math…which most of these bozos are not.
So – back to our story. A regular, honest, stand-up private business owner would eat the $75,000 and chalk it up to experience. But these scumbags figure, “hey! Let’s go ask the City to ‘cost share’ this with us…we might get $150,000 out of this to make up for our huge blunder!” – after all, the worst they can say is ‘no’, and we’re right back where we started. There is zero downside to begging, in other words.
So, ask the City is what they did. The City said “NO” back in May, as the Dispatch article reported….which was the proper thing to do. But these scumbags took it a step further. They didn’t give up! They then sent in FORMER CITY COUNCIL MEMBER Greasy Chris Harrison to ask AGAIN.
Lo and behold! Mayor Talbert then decided that “City officials need to think again about a detention pond“…because Misti “Drunken Sailor” Talbert apparently equates spending lots of money with being an effective Mayor, from what I’ve seen over the last two years.
Oh…and Chris Harrison owns a dirt works company as well. Lol. You really can’t make this stuff up. Will The Seven Goldfish look into who S2M2 Inc hires to do the dirt work? Will The Seven Goldfish ask to see how much it ACTUALLY cost instead of just accepting the $150,000 figure? Of course not. It ain’t their money.
All of you new readers might be confused by some of the terms used here. This blog has been in operation for almost four years, and we wouldn’t want you to miss any of the inside jokes.
Bruce Haywood: Lampasas resident [and useless eater] who LOVES Krab Kingz food truck, filling out on-line surveys and attending town hall meetings. Dislikes: sales tax on groceries. Is known for being 100% wrong on every issues he babbles about. For example, he publicly predicted a landslide victory for Hillary Clinton in 2016, is a big supporter of a civic center in Lampasas, and was VERY much for an idiotic solar farm in March of 2022 that everyone with a brain was against. See also Boobus Lampasicanus
“BuyBoard“: A magic word used by Finley to absolve himself of blame when he is caught red-handed paying WAY more for something than any sane human would find reasonable – after not bothering to send the project out for bidding. Examples include the $95,000 audio/visual system and the $185,000 Campbell Park bathroom. [Supposedly the “BuyBoard” member vendors are pre-selected as totally awesome government contractors because they are so reasonably priced. I have seen ZERO evidence of this].
Civic Center: An absolutely terrible idea (see also: turd) championed and adored by some of our elected officials as well as Bruce Haywood and other local dunces. The massive costs to construct and operate this civic center are ignored while vague phantom benefits like “a place for activities” are touted. Prime example of a turd that gets buried in City Council’s litter box for a while and then brought out and polished every few years (reintroduced and repackaged). See also “turd polishing” and “turd burying“.
Clayton Tucker: Local Marxist [and useless eater] who lives with his parents. He loves Bernie Sanders, Robert Francis O’Rourke, The Green New Deal, and anything else that will destroy America and/or the Great State of Texas. Fake rancher AND fake farmer. Got his ass stomped hard when he ran for City council. Has never held a real job in his life. Chairman of Lampasas Democrats.
NAMBLA recruiting poster??
Community Garden: Disastrous “brainchild” of Janet “Crazier” Crozier where piles of money disappear into a black hole of stupidity. They have spent over $15,000, $23,000 $49,000 sent an injured old lady to the hospital, and managed to get ALL their tools stolen because she was too stupid to get a lockable tool shed.
** As of July 20, 2023, they had produced roughly 400 pounds of vegetables. Giving them an average cost of $105/lb. HEB foolishly sells their produce for between 80 cents and $1.10 per pound **
Drunken sailor: Nickname for former Mayor [2017-2021] Misti Talbert, for her propensity to spend “like a drunken sailor” on shore leave. Whether it is constant raises and increased benefits for every city worker, creation of a new Assistant City Manager position, a $180,000 bathroom, a $95,000 A/V system, or a $185,000 gift to local developer S2M2, Misti equates reckless spending with being a good elected official, apparently.
Dwight Schrute – Nickname for Assistant To The City Manager Ryan Ward – due to his propensity to come up with elaborate schemes (similar to Schrute Bucks) that cost the taxpayers piles of money in the end. Schrute was hired in Jan 2022 for $110,000 per year (national average for his position is around $85,000) and was quickly given a COLA in July 2021 of 3%. Given ANOTHER raise in October 2022 for the new fiscal year – currently earns $120,000 per year. His idiotic schemes include: PTO for losing weight, $5 greens fees for City employees, and a $38,000 software system for keeping track of employees’ time off. See also: Forrest Gump
Eager Beaver CorViver: Any eager but naive person involved in an MLM (*pyramid-shaped*) scheme started by Jeremy “Meatball” Fouts at CorVive. Large numbers of Lampassholes were deluded into thinking they would become rich selling overpriced protein powders and laxatives to other Lampassholes. This fad raged from approximately December 2018 through June 2019. A dark chapter in Lampasas history and an interesting example of mass delusion and the madness of crowds. Similar to other MLM pyramid fads like LimeLife, Monat, Advocare and Plexus. CorVive has nothing at all to do with City Council but I hate seeing snake-oil salesmen prey on people.
Finger Puppets: Any Director of a City department with Finley’s hand up their butt, allowing him to control them like a sock puppet. Supposedly, the department heads are autonomous but in the cases of the IT and LEDC, Department heads refuse to act with any authority and instead act as a Finley Finger Puppet, letting him make them dance and make official responses for them instead.
Fishbowl: Where The Seven Goldfish swim on the second and fourth Mondays of every month during City council meetings. [See also “vanity project” and “wow! factor“]
Goldfish Economics: An economic system whereby City council wastes massive amounts of money in hopes of ‘attracting high paying jobs’ or just growth in general. Many times, it involves deliberately paying double or triple what a job should cost. It also often involves The Seven Goldfish forgetting they had a way better deal previously. Examples include the Azbell Electronics debacle of 2018, the Old City Hall rehab, and handing out hundreds of thousands of tax dollars to developers to rip out huge oak trees. [see also: ‘weed patch’]
Has worst case of Trump Derangement Syndrome I’ve ever seen – even more so than Bruce Haywood! Grady is under the impression he is some kind of genius – even though his business failed in 2009 and he has done nothing since then except post dog memes and shit all over the great state of Texas and their “dumb ass” citizens. He STILL lives here – likely because his mother doesn’t own a house in another state where he can move to and mooch there instead.
After moving his mother into a nursing home and moving into HER house (Norma Banta), Grady posted a “GoFundMe” to “help repair my mother’s house” – making it sound like it was for HER when it was really to benefit HIMSELF, as he was now living there. He is a giant piece of shit.
Haywoodian: adjective used to describe anything that is massive in size. For example: Michael Moore is a socialist scumbag and hypocrite of Haywoodian proportions. [Entymology – Haywood + ian] Origin 20th century, referring to Bruce Haywood – a Lampasshole of hefty proportions.
Hostess House Debacle – the latest useless, unneeded overpriced project dreamed up by The Goldfish. Initially when they took it over, they said it needed some minor cosmetic repairs. NOW, it has turned into a $200,000$1.4 million$1.88 million $2.14 million dollar project.
Janet Yoder “Crazier” Kraeff-Crozier: a locust from Norton OH and later Austin who spends every waking hour scheming of ways to implement a massively expensive and useless recycling program here in Lampasas. She has been partially successful, unfortunately. She is also a ‘life coach’ and believes autistic people are clairvoyant. Her latest project (November 2020) is convincing City council to waste money on her “community garden” project. [see also: ‘Community Garden‘]
Recycle! Eat your veggies! Wear a mask!!
Joker: Nickname for Kristy Acevedo, City Network Administrator and underling of Monica Can’t-Wright. Her arched eyebrows and makeup bear a striking resemblance to Jack Nicholson’s Joker character in the 1989 movie Batman. Also, since TSM Consulting is already paid $1,800 a month by the city for ‘network support’, her redundant position is, in fact, an expensive joke.
Locust: any liberal idiot who moves here from the north (or California…or Austin) to escape high taxes but then works non-stop to implement the same stupid liberal programs (like recycling) that ruined their former home cities . See also: Janet Yoder Kraeff-Crozier-Thunberg and Michelle D Moore-Rodriguez.
“Look it up, Monica”: Phrase used in many blog posts when a vocabulary word might puzzle someone with less than an 8th-grade education. Usually linked to the definition, since Monica reads here daily.
Mask Nazi: Also known as “maskholes”. Low IQ libtards who have no grasp of physics or geometry and who think a coronavirus that is smaller than one micron in diameter will somehow be stopped by a flimsy (and usually improperly worn) mask. Despite this, they are in favor of forcing EVERYONE into their idiot scheme. They also think a chain-link fence will stop a mosquito. See also: scared rabbit.
Michelle D Moore-Rodriguez: deeply tarded local locust[and useless eater] from California. This scumbag actually WORKED FOR the Santa Clara County Department of Tax and Collections. Then she decided it was too expensive in California and the schools were shit. So she swarmed like a locust to Texas. Once here, she complained incessantly about all the Trump supporters and suggested they all belonged to the KKK. She is a TRUE twat in every sense of the word.
Pope Eckermann: Local engineer Derrek Eckermann, whose firm (Eckermann Engineering) seems to get every single City (and LEDC) engineering contract without question or bid at what appears to be outrageous fees. Whether we are discussing water lines, land surveys, geotechnical surveys, business park development, possible civic centers, a $185k crapper in the park, or perhaps even just Mayor Talbert considering buying dinner for City Council, Pope Eckermann is consulted and large tithes (tax dollars) are handed over for his blessing. These tithes run into the hundreds of thousands of dollars. See also “tithes“.
Potato Head Stephanie Fitzharris: My god – where to start? Another libslob fleeing her former lib cities and states (Oregon, Santa Monica CA, Austin Tx). Daughter of local moron Janet Yoder Kraeff-Crozier (see above).
Rickie Roy: Current Public Works director Retired Assistant City Manager and general kicker of ass. Rickie gets shit done and doesn’t waste time. His voice could make a wolverine purr and Rickie’s City council presentations are the BOMB. One time, a cobra bit Rickie Roy in the leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Scared Rabbit: Anyone who is irrationally petrified with fear over Wuhan Flu and unable to comprehend the simple statistics that show who it effects and how deadly it is by age, gender and co-morbidities. They also tend to be Mask Nazis. Scared rabbits think we should all hide in our holes until a miracle cure is found to totally eradicate Wuhan Flu forever. Local rabbits include Melissa Johnson, Bruce Haywood, Julie Cain Landrum, Stephanie Fitzharris, Jennifer Sanchez (Moreno), Karen Spivey-Cummings, Lee Morey, Hubert “Heath Bishop” Humperdink, and Chris McDaniel. Rabbits tend to skew extremely liberal and low IQ.
The poor memories of these Seven Goldfish seem to ALWAYS cost the taxpayer money. **UPDATE** – after recent elections, there are only TWO goldfish on council: Williamson and Kuehne.
Taj Mahal: New Lampasas County jail which is costing us roughly $18 million dollars (plus most recently, another $50,000 in change orders). If I had my way: (1) we would not waste jail space with victimless ‘crimes’ like owning/smoking a plant – which would greatly reduce the number of jail cells needed….and (2) those Lampassholes who commit REAL crimes like theft or assault or vandalism would be thrown on a chain gang every day to pick up garbage on the highway or pull weeds in the creek instead of lounging in an $18 million Taj Mahal with hot water and three meals a day. Perhaps THAT would incentivize them to behave. But hey…what the hell do I know. I’m old-fashioned.
Tithes: Massive sums of tax dollars handed over to Pope Eckermann in order to get his blessing on any project under consideration. These tithes are often given whether the project is ever started or not (see: civic center). See also “Pope Eckermann“
Turd polishing/burying: the act of City Council forgetting about a terrible idea (civic center, rodeo arena, business park, recycling, tree police, mountain bike paths, community garden rain cathch tanks, solar project) for a little while but then resurrecting the same awful idea over and over and trying to make it sound palatable (polishing a turd) – usually at the urging of a Boobus Lampasicanus at a town hall meeting. The civic center turd has been subject to several cycles of burying, uncovering and polishing over the years.
Vanity project: The $1,500,000.00 Old City Hall renovation and new City Council chambers championed by current Mayor Misti Talbert. Was supposed to be completed approximately December of 2018….still not finished (as of Oct 2019) and is wildly over budget. If it ever opens, you will get to see the “Ferrari of A/V systems” and the magic $128,000 elevator. See also “Wow! factor“
Weed patch: A 151-acre albatross around the neck of the Lampasas Economic Development Corporation (LEDC). They refer to it as a shovel-ready “business park” but that is a total misnomer (look it up, Monica) as there are no actual businesses in the ‘park’. However, one less-than-intelligent murderer mistook the term “shovel-ready” and brought a fresh corpse there to be hidden. Over $2.2 million dollars have been wasted on this monstrosity with no end in sight. Still sitting empty as of September 2023. See also: corpse repository and business park.
Wow! factor: Actual phrase found in City Council minutes (page 3) to justify the spending of outrageous sums (currently around $1.5 MILLION) on a new City Council chambers and renovation of Old City Hall. It is not specified who actually used this phrase, but I suspect it was Misti “Drunken Sailor” Talbert. See also: vanity project
Amazing what you can find in the archives. Like this little nugget from the Lampasas Dispatch Record (archives April 10th, 2015 – page 11). The Dispatch was interviewing then-candidate Chris Harrison as he ran for City Council a second time (he resigned with a year left in his term the first time around):
“The council candidate said he opposes tax abatements and other financial incentives to prospective businesses. He also said he was against city officials’ economic-development trips to California and a subsequent incentive agreement for a company that moved from California to Lampasas. “To me, it’s not the government’s place to fund private business,” Harrison said.
“The candidate said he learned from a grant program the City Council offered briefly in 2011. Under the program, which Harrison initially supported but later voted to repeal, small businesses that opened in Lampasas after a specified date were eligible for a grant of $5,000 from the city. Harrison said council members had good intentions but learned quickly there were problems with offering taxpayer money to businesses. “
Wow. Harrison sounds reasonable and intelligent here. He is 100% correct on those points. However, here we are about 4.5 years later and Harrison is singing a completely different tune.
BONUS SCUMBAGGERY: The Dispatch archives also mention that Harrison owns a dirt contracting company he started in 2002. I wonder who will get the big, fat $250,000 contract for BUILDING this detention pond? Is that the deal, Chris? You go beg to your former Council chums for a $125,000 check to S2M2 Inc and then Steven McDonald (owner of S2M2) hands you the dirt contract? Sure looks that way from where I’m standing.
What an absolutely disgusting display of hypocrisy and wasteful spending all wrapped up in a big pile of dog shit. Will The Seven Goldfish look into this? I highly doubt it.
