BEWARE!! It’s Almost Beaver Season!

No, not those adorable, furry little semi-aquatic rodents!

Jeremy ‘Meatball’ Fouts offers some high-priced fiber

I’m talking about the Eager Beaver CorVivers! The ones who appeared en masse (look it up, Monica) last December with promises of getting super rich while losing 50 pounds and annoying all your Facebook friends!

It’s about that time of year when the pyramid lovers emerge to prey on everyone feeling fat and broke after the holidays. The acolytes of Jeremy ‘Meatball’ Fouts may try and push overpriced laxatives and protein powders on you while promising riches and ‘being your own boss’.

This is, of course, all bullshit. Like the 600 other MLM pyramid scams currently in operation. Do yourself and your wallet a favor this year – and don’t fall for their nonsense. Remember that (according to Federal Trade Commission studies) 99% of MLM participants LOSE MONEY.

Again….And Again…

Some beautiful and unseasonable December weather, once again! December 13th and 15th (just like December 7th) were the kind of days hundreds of in-shape citizens stream to Campbell Park to throw Frisbees, shoot hoops, eat a picnic lunch, and lament the absence of a no-bid $185,000 bathroom.

Just kidding. This isn’t the 1950s nor is it a Leave It To Beaver town and it is also filled with Lampassholes. So the park looked like this (YET AGAIN):

Then yet again yesterday on a lovely 80 degree Sunday….

I hate to beat a dead horse, but I’m hoping if I show this deserted park enough times, even Spinley will see the pattern and wonder why he blew $185,000 on a bathroom – let alone why he couldn’t be bothered to go out and bid this project.

I guess he can always just grab a few hundred thousand from the electrical fund – like they did recently with “a total transfer of $167,202 from an electric fund surplus. The amendments move $100,000 from the electric fund to the general fund balance“

Isn’t that nice? Grab $167,202 in ‘electric fund surplus‘ and use it to cover all your profligate spending. Just raise electric rates a penny or two every year and…voila! Slush fund.

I really can’t wait to take a nice big dump in the new bathroom. Literally.

Another Gorgeous Day At Campbell Park…With 0 People

Good thing Finley decreed that the City spend $185,000.00 on a no-bid toilet for the park. Just look at all those people with bursting bladders enjoying a beautiful day on Saturday December 7th – around noon.

They already shelled out $158,000 to Restroom Facilities LTD ($83,158 check #153217 and $74,842 check #154306) for the privilege of them dumping a pre-fab building into Campbell Park by crane. Then they’re going to spend another chunk of money hooking it up, apparently.

Funny thing is – I see ZERO prep work going on for this. No foundation has been built, etc. Gonna be hard to reach Spinley’s b.s. target date of “December”. I suppose he could have meant December 2020.

Just look at all the cars in the parking lot!!

Yet Another $100,000 Job Title Being Created To “Plan” And “Manage” Lampasas Growth.

First it was the Lampasas Economic Development Corp (LEDC). The LEDC spends gobs of money on salaries/benefits ($100,000) and wasteful, fruitless projects like the corpse repository ‘Business Park’ (over $1,000,000 and counting) and Texas Municipal League Conferences. But that accomplished nothing. The Big Wigs and Goldfish needed more.

Then the City handed out hundreds of thousands of tax dollars and fee waivers to developers (and former City Council members) to rip out oak trees and build houses that cost twice as much as the average Lampasas property . But the Big Wigs were still displeased.

They hired Halff Associates to ‘consult’ (i.e. $120,000 to put up a survey on SurveyMonkey) and also asked a half dozen low-IQ screwballs at a ‘Town Hall” meeting to throw out pipe dreams and fairy tale wishes for our fair city. This STILL did nothing and it angered the Big Wigs more!!

So, NOW they are creating a “Development Services Director” with a salary in the $70,000 range!! Add in benefits, and you are already at roughly $98,000. Not to mention all the other goodies they will need like a car allowance, hotel rooms for useless conferences, etc. And for what? Well, according to the official job posting, this new person will “plan, organize and manage the growth and development of the community through City ordinances and policies.”

Hmmm. Sounds more like the job of the City council, the zoning board and the LEDC, doesn’t it? How many $100,000 clowns does it take to ‘plan’ growth? I kinda prefer the free market, myself. Not some dummy who majored in a joke like “urban planning” at the local junior college.

Furthermore, this new person will “provide direction and leadership in implementing the City’s Comprehensive Plan and Development Services“.

Now, where have I heard that “comprehensive plan” before? Oh yeah – that’s what the recommendations of the Halff Associates $120,000 boondoggle are called. So these City geniuses hire Halff for $120,000 and their response is to put a survey up on Survey Monkey and apparently to recommend the City create another $100,000 position to implement the Halff Associates recommendations! LOL!!

Wow. I REALLY should have gone into government work instead of stupidly opting to become a productive member of the private sector, so I could be milked to death by idiot bureaucrats and politicians.

Did Local Buffoon Just Jinx Historic Badger Football Winning Streak?

A local Lampasshole has been boasting and talking football smack on Facebook recently. I have always thought his obsession with the high school football team goes beyond normal home-town-team excitement. Perhaps spilling over into a “sneak into the locker room and sniff jock straps” kind of obsession. For someone who doesn’t have a kid on the team, it just strikes me as a little odd.

But to each their own.

His enthusiasm spilled over into a Facebook LCBN squabble with a Bugs Bunny lookalike from Liberty Hill. Haywood was apparently joyous that Liberty Hill will be moving up to 5A football…which prompted the lagomorph (look it up, Monica) named AJ West to ask if Haywood was just scared of the competition Liberty Hill provides.

AJ West – a wascaly wabbit

The buffoon and the rabbit argued a bit and then Haywood committed a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple-dog-dare-you and going straight for the throat…..bringing up the 52-10 beating the Badgers doled out to Liberty Hill earlier in the year.

Oops. Big mistake.

That is the kind of complacency and boasting that many times comes before the big downfall. Considering Bruce Haywood has been wrong about literally everything he yaps about on Facebook (including a ‘landslide victory’ for Hillary Clinton in 2016 and thinking Beto was an awesome guy), his boasting and confidence in a Badger win this weekend leads me to believe he has just jinxed their impressive run for the title.

By my estimation, Liberty Hill would be about a 7-1 underdog if Vegas was handicapping this game. Since Bruce just put his bad juju on the game, I would be willing to back Liberty Hill as a 7-1 dog.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Bruce “The Mush” Haywood just ended your season, methinks. Rough luck.

Buttering Up Goldfish?

“A few weeks ago, the Lampasas City Council unanimously approved a request to have a train mural painted on the north end of the historic Santa Fe train depot, which is located at East Second and South Live Oak streets. Austin artist Bill Tavis will paint the mural, which Economic Development Director Mandy Walsh said will be funded by Santa Fe depot owner Richard Hardin.”

Awwwwww! Sneeeeaaaakyyyy, dawg! Could it be that Richard Hardin is buttering up some Goldfish in order to better his chances of a $100,000 handout of tax dollars? He is a ‘developer’, after all. Which means you can do no wrong in the eyes of a Goldfish.

You’ll recall that Hardin was making some grumblings about grabbing some City cash so he can spruce up the building he has owned for about 12 years – and then lease it out to a craft brewery or some other such pipe dream. Lol. Gotta hand it to the guy: spend $1,500 on a mural and nearly guarantee yourself a $100,000 gift from taxpayers! Be sure to hire ‘Greasy’ Chris Harrison too….so it’s a lock.

The Tree Police Won’t Like This One Bit…

Ruh roh! The tree police are gonna be miffed about this! The nerve of S2M2 and ‘Greasy’ Chris Harrison! Going hat in hand to City council and scoring $150,000 in taxpayer money to help with their housing development…then going and ripping out a shit ton of trees – including these three beauties I photographed yesterday:

The entire property looks like a tornado hit it – splintered oak tree remnants everywhere. They DID leave that one single tree standing in the back ground there…so there’s that.

This one below kinda looks like a future water detention pond to me…the one the City handed S2M2 $150,000 for, after their former Council member ‘Greasy’ Chris Harrison was hired to beg them for it. Note the massive amounts of roots and splintered wood – this likely indicates destroyed trees, by my estimation:

Don’t even get me started on Deorald Finney and Stone Valley. I don’t think he left more than a tree or two standing – remember, the City gave him over $70,000 in ‘free’ electrical hookups, plus a bunch of dough for other stuff:

Just another example of ‘Goldfish Economics’: subsidize certain behavior and then get confused when that behavior increases.

Some Goldfish Want To Have Their Trees And Eat Them Too

The latest news out of City council is the desire to “protect trees” from those evil developers. You know, the very same developers they keep handing hundreds of thousands of dollars to in order to entice them to develop more. As I understand it, ‘developing’ land usually requires clearing it out of a bunch of trees and replacing them with houses and roads and drainage ponds. At least that’s what I saw over at Stone Valley and the S2M2 development – nothing but smooth ground for close to 100 new houses.

Perhaps the Goldfish already forgot (as they are wont to do) about the free electrical hookups they handed to Deorald Finney at Stone Valley (69 houses = approx $72,000 in lost revenue to City)? Or maybe they forgot about the $150,000 they are handing to S2M2 for a giant water detaining pond. Last I checked, water retention ponds don’t have giant oak trees in the middle of them – they are cleared out in the name of “development”.

The Goldfish proposing this hypocritical idea was Delana Toups. She mentioned TWICE in the article that she “was sad to see last week that an oak was knocked down for a new development”. Neither time did she actually mention WHICH development it was – which I suspect was not an accident. She would look pretty stupid complaining about the S2M2 or Stone Valley development after just handing them $150,000 of taxpayer money. I actually drove over to the S2M2 development a month ago, and saw a TON of trees had been destroyed.

So, they want growth and development so badly, they hand out huge checks and waive tons of fees for these private developers – GIVING these rich developers tax dollars so they can clear cut trees, build homes and make a huge profit on their houses.

THEN, the same person complains that a tree was cut down by a developer! I mean, I have to thank this group for giving me unending, low-hanging fruit to ridicule them with. It’s just too easy now.

Instead of infringing on peoples’ property rights to do what they want with their trees, how about STOPPING COMPLETELY all the handouts to your rich developer buddies and the scumbag former Council members who lobby for them (*cough* Chris Harrison *cough*)?

Nah – that would be too easy. Let’s instead make a whole new pile of regulations and restrictions on the rest of the population. Awesome idea!

In fairness, Mayor Talbert immediately came out against the idea of telling people what they can do with the land they own. Good for her. She is on the correct side of this issue.

Rickie Roy Kicks ASS!!!

I finally heard my first Public Works Department presentation by Rickie Roy during the latest City council audio recording. All I can say is “WOW!!”

Rickie has a voice that could make a wolverine purr. If Clint Eastwood, Matthew McConaughey, and Ronald Reagan had a love child, it would be Rickie Roy.

I have no doubt that Rickie Roy BUILT the very hospital he was born in.

I heard that one time a cobra bit Rickie Roy in the leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Rickie pops up at the 37:30 mark of the latest CC meeting – and you can tell that Rickie Roy and the kind of guy who gets shit DONE. Not only that, he is just proud as hell of the work he does. I listened with rapt (look it up, Monica) attention as Rickie went on for about 11 minutes about all the jobs his guys were banging out. At the end of that 11 minutes, I wanted to join the Rickie Roy team. No joke.

I have no doubt Rickie inspires his men. He doesn’t sit in his office all day. He is right out there with them wrestling live high voltage wires to a new Oil States building – NEVER allowing a power interruption for the rest of us.

Rickie Roy for City manager! Rickie Roy for Mayor. Rickie Roy FOREVER!!

I’ll end this with “Go Badgers” because THAT is the Rickie Roy way. Hell yeah.