DummyLib Fake Rancher Has Mommy Buy Him $20,000 Worth Of Mini Cows Because “Global Warming.” No, Seriously.

Just when I start thinking Comrade Clayton Tucker’s Fake Rancher Persona is NOT an elaborate piece of performance art perpetuated by a secret genius, he goes and posts some shit like this….

No big deal! Mommy and Daddy just got me between $15,000 and $20,000 worth of cows on a whim. What whim, you ask? The global warming whim, of course!!

Half the water, half the food but also half the meat. You do the math, because Comrade Clayton can’t!!

[I can almost hear this sung in a Donald Trump music meme: They’re shrinking the cows and shrinking the pigs! Shrinking the goats and shrinking the cows!]

So the kid who has (1) no girlfriend or wife (2) no prospects of a girlfriend or wife and therefore (3) will have no children and nobody to leave grandpa’s fake ranch to when he’s dead in about 39 years (probably earlier due to fake vaccine consumption) is worried that the earth MIGHT BE (but probably won’t be) 2 degrees warmer in 100 years. LOL. Yeah, better buy those mini cows NOW. The cows that have a lifespan of 15 years, or so. Smart thinking!!

Hey dummy: Obama and the other rich shitlibs ALL have $15 million dollar estates right on the water. Do THEY seem worried about global warming and rising sea levels to you? LOL. What a chump and a useful idiot.

Wait a second! I thought you ALREADY “diversified into goats” because of global warming! Or was it because “the family ranch can’t make it due to Big Ag”? I forget…the story keeps changing.

That genius move into Global Warming Goats was made this past spring – right before we got dumped on with about 18 inches of rain. So much rain, in fact, that all of Comrade Clayton’s Global Warming Drought goats got sick and died from the parasites brought on by the heavy rains! Yes, it’s true:

Parasitic Socialist Clayton Tucker Has His Goat Herd Decimated By Parasites.

Then mommy and daddy bought him a bunch of Savannah goats that are supposedly parasite resistant, hoping that he might not fuck THOSE goats up and maybe, finally actually SELL a couple goats to stanch the financial bleeding…

Closest he’s come to a girlfriend in his life.

Then mommy and daddy bought him some cute little dwarf goats – likely because they are easier for him to have intercourse with. Unfortunately, in yet another master stroke, he bought two males so he is unable to breed them and thus sell the offspring for profit. He also lost them almost immediately and then blamed thieves for his irresponsibility.

Turns out nobody stole them – he had just lost them like a retard. Our intrepid IT Network Admin Kristy Acevedo found them wandering around bleating and malnourished and apparently trying to get hit by a car…

[I have to interject an editorial comment here. Just go back and read what I already wrote. This ridiculous series of events is all FOR REAL. I couldn’t make up ridiculous shit like this if I tried. I just start laughing every time I re-read it for typos before I post it. I’m in stitches over here. Absolute RETARD!!]

He’s probably STILL trying to breed those two males because he is a woke shitlib who thinks males can get pregnant. God knows Comrade Clayton and his man-crush Robert O’Rourke have been trying frantically to breed each other for years now….to no avail.

But those new Savannah goats must not be working out very well, so now he told mom to buy him $20k worth of mini cows. Must be nice! But it’s NOT just all the global warming that necessitates this. He now claims he needs the mini cows because BIG AG has it in for the little guy like him. The family ranch just can’t survive!

Shitlibs who constantly demand higher taxes trying to avoid taxes with Ag Exemption on fake ranch with one horse. Classic.

[Wait til he realizes that the same “Big Ag monopolies” that supposedly control the normal sized cows ALSO control the mini cows. LOL. Moron.]

Sounds awful! It’s almost IMPOSIBLE to survive raising standard cows! OH MY GOD!!

Luckily, every single thing Comrade Clayton said is 100% incorrect:

So if you ignore for a moment the 250,000 family ranches and the 12.5 million head of cattle that somehow have appeared and thrived in Texas, then it is SUPER HARD for anyone to make a buck raising cattle, clearly.

What he REALLY means to say is that “the family ranchrun by a lazy, incompetent retardscan’t survive.

Hilarious.

Netflix should make a show out of this moron. Like that Paris Hilton farm show that was on years ago and highlighted two low-IQ clowns trying to make it on a farm while flailing around for our amusement. This would be WAY better.

Socialist Bum Who Lives With Mom Gets Mad When People Who Work Hard Get To Keep More Of THEIR Money.

As usual, local socialist Clayton Tucker has history exactly backwards. I wonder what it’s like to go through life being 100% wrong about EVERY issue? Pretty hard to do, actually. You’d think he’d be right once or twice just by accident.

First of all, you forgot a few guys, you ass hat. How about:

LBJ: got us involved in Vietnam and fucked up the economy with massive new welfare programs and was a unabashed racist who used the word “nigger” nonstop?

Or maybe…

Carter: fucked up the economy with MASSIVE inflation that was so bad he got destroyed when he ran for re-election? He was also a shitty peanut farmer who tried to “revive the family farm” and ended up $1 million in debt (sound familiar? LOL.)

Funny you left those out.

Kennedy: didn’t actually put anyone on the moon himself. I doubt he could even multiply two two-digit numbers together if you gave him a calculator.

He was a serial philanderer and child of privilege who never earned a single thing on his own. Daddy (Joe Sr.) got him his first few jobs and he went into politics like the rest of the useless Kennedy rats. A trust fund baby just like Clayton Tucker himself.

[Kennedy also SLASHED taxes, which by Clayton Tucker’s logic is “handing out money to rich people.” JFK would be considered a radical right wing MAGA by today’s standards.]

You know who put us on the moon? Extremely smart white guys. The same super smart white guys that shitlibs like Clayton Tucker blame for everything in today’s day and age. You know who DIDN’T have anything to do with putting man on the moon? Haitian immigrants.

99.99% white men.

Reagan: self-made man who slashed tax rates – which resulted in a massive economic boom and raised ALL boats – since it allowed the private sector to keep what they earned. Hugely beloved by the nation. Absolutely massacred poor Walter Mondale in 1984. It was the biggest ass beating in electoral history (525 electoral votes to 13), that’s how popular Reagan was. Mondale only got 13 more electoral votes than I got, and I wasn’t even running for president.

I was between the ages of 11 and 19 when Reagan was in office, so I actually know the reality of what he did. Clayton Tucker was still a rotten sperm in his dad’s ball sack and has no idea what he’s talking about.

Clinton: eliminated the deficit? LOL. OK, for a split second (and if you don’t count all the TRILLIONS in off-balance-sheet liabilities for welfare programs the shitlibs gave us), thanks to a massive stock market bubble that consequently burst and saw the NASDAQ drop about 80%. If Clinton were to run for president today on the same issues as he did in 1992, retards like Clayton Tucker would label him a “radical right-winger” due to things like welfare reform. Compared to Joe Biden and Obama, Clinton looks positively appealing today.

Oh, and he also was credibly accused of rape by more than a few women who he subsequently paid off with hush money ($800,000 in 1991 dollars or about $2.4 million in today’s dollars). Also shoved a cigar into the pussy of an intern named Monica Lewinsky.

George Bush: more money for rich people? Um, no. He raised taxes drastically – and people voted him out of office for it. He was a fucking retard.

Obama: universal health care? If he did that, then why is a commie like Clayton Tucker STILL whining about wanting universal health care (socialized medicine) to this very day??? No, all Obama did was stick the government’s hand even further up the ass of the health care system (LBJ was even worse) which resulted in insurance premiums SKYROCKETING for all Americans.

President Obama’s oft-repeated promise that “if you like your health care plan, you can keep it” was 2013’s “lie of the year,” according to the fact checkers at the Tampa Bay Times’ nonpartisan PolitiFact project.

He was a fucking disaster, a race baiter, a communist and a closet homosexual. He had lots in common with Comrade Clayton, too!!

Trump: lowered tax rates. Yup – guilty as charged. Of course, those people EARNED that money and it is THEIRS to keep in the first place. It is not the property of scumbags like Clayton Tucker and other socialist bums to steal as they like.

I’ll admit Trump has a LONG way to go before he is a free-market purist (he used to be a democrat, after all) but the economy under Trump was pretty fucking good. Clayton Tucker doesn’t know that either because he’s never worked in the real world, owned his own place or run a business. He was busy putting masks on in the car by himself in 2020 and crying about the economy being opened “too soon” after Covid. Yet another thing he was 100% wrong about

Biden: Infrastructure bill? You mean like every single president has done for the last 60 years? Big deal. The only thing different about Biden’s infrastructure spending is that almost all of it was wasted.

Biden’s $7.5 billion investment in EV charging has only produced 7 stations in two years

The $42 billion internet program that has connected 0 people

Inflation Reduction Act? BAHAHAHAHAHA. He oversaw 9% inflation – the highest since the Carter years.

The Chips Act? Now that actually IS handing out money to rich corporations, like Intel ($100 billion market cap).

Student ‘Debt Reform’? No, that is stealing money from people who DIDN’T go to college and paying the debt of morons who did. Oh, and it is also unconstitutional.

Here ends the history lesson, you scumbag, socialist parasite.

Homos Are Swooning For JD Vance. Will Gay Vote Put Trump Over The Top?

The gays are swooning for JD Vance…

Reuters post-debate polling shows an unexplained, 55 point drop in support for Harris Walz among gay men, ages 18 to 65.

Too funny. I bet if JD Vance was a much older man or a Muslim, our own bloated socialist tick Clayton Tucker would be on board as well!

As always – the right are the successful and beautiful people. The left are fat, envious loser trolls. It’s science.

Eco-Turd Demanded $1.85 Million In Tax Dollars a Few Years Ago. Now They Are Donating “Free” Fences To The City! WTF?!?

What a difference a few years makes!

Back around 2021, local slimeballs Mike Cour and Alan Champagne were trying to slither their way into the “Business Pork” and all the attached piles of free shit – including “free” land and a $1.75 million, 22,500 square-foot building!

After poor Mandy voided her bowels in shock, she and the entire LEDC realized they had been played for the last year and told Eco-Strong/Eco-Flex to pound sand, more or less.

[Don’t ask me to explain the financial/corporate/personal relationship between Eco-Strong and Eco-Flex. I cannot. Sometimes they seem interchangeable and sometimes seem to be separate entities, as you can see on the shitty Power Point page above. Eco-Felx is DEFINITELY a Canadian company and Eco-Strong is DEFINITELY (or was) some kind of offshoot hatched by Mike Cour]

But a funny thing happened after the Eco-Turds were denied any and all tax dollars: they went ahead and moved into a nice new building over on Pecan Street! A building built by Mike Irvin, by the way – who should DEFINITELY be replacing Misti Talbert as LEDC President any day now.

Now how in the world did they manage THAT? One day they are going hat-in-hand to the City for almost two million smackers, and soon after they somehow are up and running all on their own! My goodness! It’s almost like I was 100% right and they were looking to scam the City for free shit they didn’t even need.

Hell, Mike Cour was sitting on about 200 acres of his OWN LAND at the same time he was rattling his tin cup – something I pointed out repeatedly.

Fast forward a couple years and we see this on social media a couple days ago:

“Partners”? WTF does that mean?!

A bit odd that it is DEFINITELY “Eco-Flex” and NOT “Eco-Strong, Mike Cour’s racket.

I’ve seen this new wall for myself. It looks to be about 100 feet long – which is about a $10,000 gift, if their ridiculous $90-per-linear-foot prices are still accurate. Probably even more, given that concrete footer they have there.

But as all of us except Bruce Haywood and Clayton Tucker learned in second grade: there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch. So why would Eco-Turd make this magnanimous gesture towards the City? What’s in it for them?

Tough to decipher. If there was some kind of “quid pro quo” (like, perhaps, we ‘give’ you this fence and you agree to buy a couple from us at full price next time *wink wink*) I’m not sure who they did the deal with. Finley will be gone in a month and word on the grapevine is that Dwight Schrute himself – Ryan Ward – is also going to quit soon.

So I guess we’ll see! Perhaps this is just to Eco-Turd can add a photo to their portfolio and show everyone how “in demand” their fences are. Look! Lampasas has one too! It’s awesome!

Massacre.

I’d love to say Tim Walz crumbled as badly as I thought he would, but he didn’t. Unfortunately for Tim, however, JD Vance put on a masterclass. He clearly operates on an entirely higher IQ level than Tim Walz. He made Tim look like a bumbling fool more than once. It wasn’t even close.

Last night was MUCH MORE than a debate. It was a contrast between the future of two parties. A youthful, intelligent, empathetic, substantive, pragmatic, inclusive, patriotic, and energetic Republican Party and an old, gray, weathered, unoriginal Democrat Party in denial and stuck in the past.

I am wondering though – how DID a “school teacher” and “football coach” afford to travel to China 60 times? I’ve never gone ANYWHERE 60 times…not even Belize. I’d sure love to hear Walz explain it.

I’m also wondering how he is “friends” with school shooters. He said that TWICE. Of course, no reporters will ever follow up on that statement.

Tim Walz at debate prep:

JD debated Tim Walz

And Vance kicked him right in the balls

Tim took a beating

His asshole is bleeding

He won’t return Harris’s calls

Summary of VP debate:

Union Douchebags Holding Ports Hostage. Where Is Clayton Tucker On This Important Issue? Writing Postcards For Kamabla.

Local socialist Clayton Tucker is ALWAYS on the side of “unions” – no matter if they are useless dirtbags like Randi Weingarten and her teacher union thugs or anyone else.

But he is completely silent on this one. Maybe because he knows if he sides with these port worker fuckers, he’ll be even more hated than he is now. So he keeps his yap shut.

I get that there is an eternal struggle between “greedy asshole” owners and “I’m always underpaid” labor and I’m sure there is truth to BOTH sides of that argument – which is why we have negotiations.

Of course, the lazy, overpaid scumbag union guy stereotype exists for a reason. I knew more than a few union electricians back in my Chicago days. They were at the bar most of the working day. Bunch of cunts.

That’s how it will always be. But the head of the longshoreman’s union just bragged how he would “cripple” the nation with this strike. Huge mistake.

Some blue collar guys are holding the rest of the blue collar in this nation hostage, so their union can make a little more money, which they’ll donate to the party who is importing the third world to replace them all. Hilarious!

Also, one of the union sticking points is “no automation” so that not a single job is ever lost to progress. Sorry buddy – the Chinese are eating our lunch and are probably TWICE as efficient as you twats are in getting goods moving through the ports. Take your big raise and accept the fact that the numbers of longshoreman scumbags is going to have to decrease in general as the years pass. Tough shit.

The port union is demanding total ban on the automation at 36 US ports “We do not believe that robotics should take over a human being’s job. Especially a human being that’s historically performed that job.”

By this logic, we would all still be farmers

Automation is coming. Just ask all the bank tellers replaced by ATMs, the elevator operators replaced by buttons, the travel agents destroyed by Travelocity, the stock brokers destroyed by TD Ameritrade, the old mafia bookies put out of business by Draft Kings, the Vegas blackjack dealers replaced by screens and hundreds of other examples.

You don’t get to be the exception and cost every single American billions of dollars because of your prohibition on any automation. Fuck you, man.

Too bad Reagan isn’t around. He’d fire all these dildos and get some new guys in there. Raise their pay, cut 20% of the positions due to automation and move on with life.

You can always go and be a fake rancher like Comrade Clayton….and waste your time writing postcards to morons.

Tonight Will Make The 1992 Stockdale VP Debate Look Tame By Comparison. Will Hand Election To Trump.

If you’re an old fart like me, you remember the most disastrous debate performance EVER. It was even worse than Biden back in July.

That would be that poor bastard Admiral James Stockdale – Perot’s VP pick.

Perot was supposed to name a permanent VP but never did. Seven months later, with almost zero notice or preparation, the 68-year-old Stockdale literally stood at center stage at the vice presidential debate, with Dan Quayle and Al Gore off to the sides. His first words were, “Who am I? Why am I here?”

It went downhill from there. What followed would turn Stockdale into a “Saturday Night Live” punchline and make him the political version of Bill Buckner: Two people who excelled at their careers, followed by one high-profile gaffe that would land at the top of their obituaries.

I foresee Tim Walz, the semen-drinking, prancing, arm-flapping moron having an even worse time tonight. He’s going to be like Steve Buscemi getting jammed into the mulcher in Fargo:

It will be enough of a beat down that it will give Trump a huge bump. Between the port strike, Kamabla’s terrible hurricane response and people’s continuing anger about inflation and billions going to Ukraine, I am now convinced that TRUMP WILL WIN THIS ELECTION – DESPITE all the cheating we know will take place.

I’m putting my marker down here – five weeks from today. Trump will be victorious. Liberal heads will explode. It will be glorious.

Socialist Lickspittle Thanks D.C. Overlords For Handing SOME Tax Dollars Back To State.

Clayton Tucker would have made a great feudal serf. He would have handed over all his grain to his lord and then thanked him when the lord threw a handful back onto the cow-shit-covered ground for Clayton to pick up and eat while profusely thanking the lord and licking his boots.

Then he probably would have watched the lord bang his wife and thanked him for showing him how to make a woman cum.

Just kidding – we all know he’d be incapable of growing any grain (or securing a wife) in the first place and would likely be working for the king as a eunuch tax collector. Because he’s a parasite. It’s in his blood. Even his fellow parasites are congratulating him on sponging off his parents!

So to recap:

Texas citizens hand over hundreds of billions in federal gas taxes, income taxes, estate taxes, capital gains taxes, and all sorts of other taxes.

Then a bunch of lazy, D.C. parasites (who STILL mostly “work” from home) skim billions of that for themselves. These are the know-nothing, shit bird Clayton Tucker types populating the EPA, DOE, etc. They add zero value. They TAKE their skim and in return, they impose more rules on the productive citizens. They waste hundreds of billions on moronic, failed green energy bullshit and “high speed rail” that never works.

THEN, they make the states and citizens beg for their money back! Follow all of our rules, or you don’t get those highway funds! Better hire more Haitians!

And at the end of the day, beta male pussies like Clayton Tucker thank them profusely and then suck their cock.

Of course, since he lives with mom and pays no taxes, it’s ALL free money to him. So from HIS point of view, it really is “free” stuff.

The rest of us know better.

Tim Walz Shitting Pants Over Tomorrow’s Debate – Where He Will Be Murdered Live On TV By JD Vance.

Remember a month ago or so, when Tim Walz was bragging and making stupid couch jokes about JD Vance and how he couldn’t wait to debate him?

Vance is going to absolutely wreck this spastic fairy.

Yeah, that was all bullshit. Maybe he was drunk on horse semen at the time he wrote that. Now he is shitting his pants. In fact, there are rumors his batshit crazy wife is pushing to have him pull out of the debate so he isn’t completely humiliated on national TV.

Maybe hiding in your basement with Kamala avoiding any reporters for the last 8 weeks wasn’t such a good idea. JD Vance has been out there sharpening his skills. Walz has been avoiding everyone like he avoided combat.

They also aren’t real keen about how he prances around on stage like a fairy. Although I’m guessing that is Comrade Clayton’s favorite part about him….

The fact is that Walz is a limp-wristed beta male trying to act strong. Only people who have been heavily conditioned to deny their basic intuition don’t feel a pervasive sense of disgust when they hear and see him.

If you are looking for a bar to watch the debate tomorrow night, Memo’s is your spot. Some bars in town, like Lampasas Beer Market, will NOT show the debate because they “don’t want any fighting” between patriotic Americans and pathetic libshit Marxists.

P.S. – we also have the “October Surprise” to look forward to. Rumor is they have something very big on Waltz. I would not be surprised to find out he’s a homo who fondled his male students. Not that shitlibs like Comrade Clayton would be bothered by that at all.