Well, it’s the home stretch towards Christmas! I must say, the lights down on the creek look fantastic! It’s a real shame that local Marxist and creator of the “Christmas Lights Fundraiser” Stephanie Fitzharris is selfishly depriving the citizens of Lampasas of over $7,000 in donations by being stubborn and refusing to admit she was wrong about a bunch of stuff everyone knows she was wrong about anyways.
It’s like depriving the City of $7,000 because she refuses to admit the sun sets in the west or that the sky is blue. Such a shame. Only ten days left, Potato Head! Tick tock. Tick tock.
In the meantime, I wrote a lovely version of The Twelve Days of Christmas but altered slightly to fit our little town. I embedded a video that just plays the music so you can sing along to yourself below….
On the first day of Christmas, Lampasas gave to me, a bum who lives with mom-mee!
On the second day of Christmas, Lampasas gave to me,two Muslim nerds, and a bum who lives with mom-mee!
On the third day of Christmas, Lampasas gave to me,three metal letters, two Muslim nerds, and a bum who lives with mom-mee!
On the fourth day of Christmas, Lampasas gave to me, Four useless turds, three metal letters, two Muslim nerds, and a bum who lives with mom-mee!
On the fifth day of Christmas, Lampasas gave to me,
FIVE DING-A-LINGS!
Four useless turds, three metal letters, two Muslim men, and a bum who lives with mom-mee!
On the sixth day of Christmas, Lampasas gave to me,six wheelchair gardeners, FIVE DING-A-LINGS! Four useless turds, three metal letters, two Muslim nerds, and a bum who live with mom-mee!
On the seventh day of Christmas, Lampasas gave to me, seven million wa$ted, six wheelchair gardeners, FIVE DING-A-LINGS! Four useless turds, three metal letters, two Muslim nerds and a bum who lives with mom-mee!
On the eighth day of Christmas (this is starting to get difficult!) Lampasas gave to me, eight vulture-buzzards, seven million wasted, six crippled gardeners, FIVE DING-A-LINGS! Four useless turds, three metal letters, two Muslim nerds and a bum who lives with mom-mee!
There ARE no buzzards in Texas
On the ninth day of Christmas, Lampasas gave to me NINE years of failure, eight vulture-buzzards, seven million wasted, six wheelchair gardeners, FIVE DING-A-LINGS! Four useless turds, three metal letters, two Muslim nerds and a bum who lives with mom-mee!
On the tenth day of Christmas, Lampasas gave to me, TEN grand for garbage, nine years of failure, eight vulture-buzzards, seven million wasted, six wheelchair gardeners, FIVE DING-A-LINGS! Four useless turds, three metal letters, two Muslim nerds and a bum who lives with mom-mee!
On the eleventh day of Christmas, Lampasas gave to me, ELEVEN years of nerf job, ten grand for garbage, nine years of failure, eight vulture-buzzards, seven million wasted, six wheelchair gardeners, FIVE DING-A-LINGS! Four useless turds, three metal letters, two Muslim nerds and a bum who lives with mom-mee!
Hired in 2012 for $94,500
On the twelfth day of Christmas, Lampasas gave to me, TWELVE unbuilt houses, eleven years of Nerf job, ten grand for garbage, nine years of failure, eight vulture-buzzards, seven million wasted, six wheelchair gardeners, FIVE DING-A-LINGS! Four useless turds, three metal letters, two Muslim nerds and a bum who lives with mom-mee!
I remember just four short years ago when the police department made the (probably-wise) choice to take all responsibility for body cam and car cam footage AWAY from our bumbling IT Department and instead put it on the cloud and in the hands of a responsible third party:
I don’t think it was a coincidence that they made the change just WEEKS after the IT Department allowed a massive ransomware attack on City computers – resulting in tens of thousands of dollars in wrecked equipment.
Any-hoo, when they were pushing to do this, they told us the costs would be as follows:
“The council voted unanimously to purchase a cloud-based video storage system for the police department. The police department’s existing video storage server is starting to fail, Montgomery said. He added that if the city bought a new physical server instead of using the cloud-based system, the new server would last only about four years.
The cloud-based system will keep data secure, allow for backups and make video-related work more efficient, Montgomery and Information Technology Director Monica Wright said.
The initial cost of the cloud-based storage system is$7,000 In addition, the per-month storage cost – based on the amount of total data the police department stores now – will be about$270 Montgomery said.Recurring annual costs – including software updates and support — will be $10,620
I demonstrated at the time how if you go strictly by them numbers, it was an atrocious deal – costing the City MUCH more money. The only reason to do it was to keep the data out of the hands of the bumbling IT Department. OK, maybe that’s the price you pay for incompetence.
That was when the “recurring cost” was $10,620.
But according to the latest City council packet, the recurring cost is NOW $19,365!! [see page 80]
Almost a DOUBLING in four years. For those of you who know the Rule of 72, that’s about 18% per year inflation. In other words, a massive ripoff.
Even if we assume that the monthly $270 cost ($3,240 annual) is rolled into the annual charge, that only brings it to $13,860 – a far cry from $19,365.
So the way I see it, since we are just now four years from when all this was decided initially, we’d currently be in the market for a new $11,000 server that would last until 2028. Instead, we are shelling out about $20,000 PER YEAR for this service instead?
Meet the most stereotypical, basic liberal Austin bitch you’ll ever have the displeasure of seeing – Carol Garner Doughty:
This elitist, Austin virtue-signaling Karen is married to a tech nerd who looks like the love child of Steven King, Steven Hawking and Frankenstein. She apparently still makes the poor bastard wear a mask…
This woman needs to eat a steak or something. Very sickly looking.
That woman’s face is the face of pure liberal misery and hatred. The thought of all the Texans around her owning guns, driving pick-ups and voting for Ted Cruz has literally eaten her up from within like cancer. Just like liberal Connecticut congresswitch Rosa DeLauro…..
You just know Carol met her poor sap of a husband (who is likely on the spectrum and some kind of computer genius), gave him the first and likely last blowjob of his life, and he is now henpecked daily while she spends his fortune in Apple stock on Teslas, Priuses, trips to Greece and yearly home remodels…
She despises Texas even as she has reaped the benefits of her husband being paid handsome sums from Apple free of state income tax. Picture Stephanie Fitzharris minus 200 pounds but 100x more virtuous than even the most rabid virtue-signaling libs…
If Basic Austin Bitch doesn’t like you, you should be arrested.
She checks all the boxes: drives a Prius AND a Tesla, still believes Trump is a Russian agent, despises guns, only shops at Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s, is 100% pro-mask and pro-vax, thinks Zelensky is a hero, wants Tucker Carlson arrested, has a kid who is “LGBTQ+,” wants ALL fossil fuels ended NOW, is a champion of Ukraine, Black Lives Matter and any other asinine cause under the sun.
Which tribe is that? Rich, white assholes who take $7,500 subsidies to buy $89,000 piece of shit golf carts?
And why not? She has nothing else to do all day but go to trendy, overpriced “exercise” classes and bitch on Facebook about how much she hates the “backwards, violent, bloody state of Texas”full of “greedy mass murderers”……
Thankfully, she is finally LEAVING Texas!
The “kid” is 29 years old, by the way. And already lives in Ohio. But please, signal more virtue!!
I’ll give you all a moment to cry over this.
I can’t tell if her LGBQTLMNOP “kid” (who is 29 years old and shouldn’t need “protecting” by mommy) is a very-effeminate male or a masculine female. Frankly, I don’t give a shit and neither does anyone else – which must drive an attention whore like Carol crazy. None of us care how gay your kid is. We are just against castrating and mutilating the genitals of minors. Big difference.
Wait – how can you be leaving Texas because of your LGPQZT+ kid when he/she/it lives in OHIO?!? It says right there – “down for a visit” and “the Ohioans are HERE!” You really should do your homework before making up your ridiculous virtue-signaling lies. Next thing you know, you’ll be making up shit about waltzing into a hospital and handing an old man food because you’re such a saint….
Sure you did, sweetheart.
[Lots of hospitals let complete strangers waltz in to the recovery rooms of other complete strangers and hand them food. Totally normal!]
But the best part is SHE’S LEAVING TEXAS!!! What a concept. I wonder why other whiny libtwats (**cough**Fitzharris*cough** Haywood ** Tucker**cough*) don’t do the same. Instead of whining non-stop over everything and trying to fuck things up for the rest of us, just go move to Oregon or California or some other liberal dump and everyone will be happy.
Carol and her wallet are moving to libtwat paradise: Massachusetts.
They will be moving to Lenox Massachusetts, to be exact. Which is odd, because Lenox Massachusetts is 98.57% WHITE.…but THAT can’t be right, because Carol Garner Doughty has spent countless hours on Facebook humblebragging about how much she cares about the poor, downtrodden and oppressed blacks…
Black justice! Diversity! BLM! Equity!
Holy shit! A combo of Ukraine, BLM power fist AND the homo rainbow! Like I said – you can NEVER be more virtuous than this libtwat.
…but, like most hypocrite limo liberals, she doesn’t actually want to LIVE around any of the poors OR blacks! Gross! So she will be moving to Lenox, MA where only 0.30% of the town is black – just enough to clean her house and mow her lawn.
Oh, and the median income for a family there is $111,413. So much for leading by example, eh Carol?
Her timeline is also peppered with LOTS of humblebragging about all the trips they take….
Bitch face says “I am barely tolerating this display of affection from my wallet, Jeff”
They must travel to Greece and New York by bicycle, because she ABSOLUTELY wants fossil fuel use ended NOW!
Carol’s vibrator likely has a Greta Thunberg head on the top of it.
Speaking of sticks, Carol was absolutely DISTRAUGHT when some trees got knocked down in a storm…
Translation: why isn’t anyone cleaning up the mess faster? CHOP CHOP!! Where are all the Mexicans and blacks? You don’t expect US to clear any downed trees, do you?
In one of the funniest exchanges I’ve ever seen, Potato Head Fitzharris (who so BADLY wanted to be in the upper-echelons of the liberal virtue-signaling Lakeway/Austin area and clearly craves the approval of Queen-Bee-Carol) offered up the services of her kid and husband to help out. Carol’s answer is priceless:
“These people” – BAHAHAHAHAHA. You can FEEL the condescension dripping from her keyboard.
Thanks, friend! Um, what’s the name of your entire family again? BAHAHAHAHAHA! Poor Potato Head. That must have been like driving a dagger through her fat monkey heart. No wonder she pulled up stakes and moved here. She cannot HOPE to compete with bitches like that. I almost felt sorry for her when I read that. ALMOST.
I’d like to think that Carol Garner Doughty will be gone from Texas forever, but we all know how it is with these idiot liberals. Remember all the celebrities that were going to move to Canada when Trump won? Or the morons who were going to move after Roe v Wade was overturned? Yeah – they all lied about that.
Just imagine when Carol gets to Massachusetts and EVERYONE in the neighborhood is an even bigger liberal bitch than her? Who can she be better than? Who can she look down upon? Nobody. Potato Head is back here in Texas. It’s more likely that Carol will be the new Potato Head of HER neighborhood and she’ll be groveling for approval.
I suspect she will come crawling back to Texas after she realizes (1) it’s cold as shit up there (2) everything is super expensive and taxes are high (3) she gets her first heating and electric bill (4) all her neighbors have tranny kids, which trumps her merely-gay kid and (5) she gets out-virtue-signaled by every other chick in the area.
We will have much more on this insane, evil commie loon in the near future….
It seems I can’t open the newspaper [page 3] these days without being nauseated by this family of carpetbagging, liberal, Biden-loving loons who have infested my beloved Lampasas over the last few years.
Recently, Potato Head joined Vision Lampasas and is trying to sweet-talk her way into the community by “supporting” Christmas on the Creek – which she hopes will make everyone forget she is a hard-core Marxist from Austin.
Of course, like most liberals, she is all hat and no cattle. She donated an embarrassingly-small amount of $31 to the fundraiser that SHE herself started.That is LESS than she recently donated to the GoFundMe for the funeral of a local delinquent….
Sad.
The juvenile delinquent gets $50 for his funeral but the Christmas Lights Fundraiser that YOU started only gets $31? You make me sick.
So here is what I’m going to do:
I will donate $5,000 for new lights IF the following conditions are met by Potato Head Fitzharris:
#1 – You will resign from Vision Lampasas, effective immediately and you will NEVER come back.
#2 – You will donate $1,000 to this cause from your own personal checking account. This will atone for your insultingly small donation of $31.
#3 – You will convince your good buddy “CT” (Clayton Tucker) to ALSO donate $1,000 from his personal checking account – NOT from any of his campaign accounts. Tucker has claimed to be a local farmer, rancher and “small business owner” for a long time now, yet he is not even a member of the local Chamber of Commerce. He is constantly demanding everyone else pay for “free” school, health care and school lunches while he lives with his mother and pays no property taxes himself. I want to see him put his money where his mouth is.
#4 – You will admit publicly on Facebook in front of all your old liberal Austin friends (Garry Brown, Rene Lozano, Carol Garner Doughty, etc) that Joe Biden has been a complete disaster and you regret voting for him. You will admit that he has dementia and not a “stutter” as you have claimed before. You will also admit publicly that you were 100% wrong about the Covid vaccine, about masks, about social distancing, about closing down the schools, about HCQ, about Ivermectin and all the rest of it.
You will do all of this by December 22nd – two weeks away. If you REALLY care about Christmas on the Creek and raising money, you will swallow your pride the same way you apparently swallow too many pizzas and score Vision Lampasas an EASY $5,000 from the “notorious and evil” Lampasshole.
Anything less, and we all know you’re just a lot of hot air.
[When these conditions are met, Vision Lampasas may contact me at lampasshole@protonmail.com to arrange my donation of $5,000]
But but but…the guy who lives with his mom and can’t even SPELL “MIT” says it IS an existential threat!
So does Al Gore, Joe Biden and John Kerry. Three clowns who have never had a job in their lives and who never took a science class in college.
Let’s hear the REAL truth:
The greenhouse effect is primarily causedby water vapor and clouds,said Richard Lindzen, professor emeritus of atmospheric sciences at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT).
Carbon dioxide (CO2), methane, and nitrous oxideare minor constituents of the greenhouse effect, Mr. Lindzen told EpochTV’s “American Thought Leaders” in an interview.
“If all other things are kept constant, and you double CO2, you would get a little under one degree of warming,” Mr. Lindzen said. Some climate models estimate the highest warming at three degrees, but “even three degrees isn’t that much,” he added.
“We’re dealing with changes for a doubling of CO2 on the order of between breakfast and lunch,” he said.
According to NASA, the greenhouse effect is “the process through which heat is trapped near Earth’s surface by substances known as ‘greenhouse gases.’ Greenhouse gases consist of carbon dioxide, methane, ozone, nitrous oxide, chlorofluorocarbons, and water vapor.”
Politicians, universities, international organizations, and media have called climate warming an existential threat to humanity.
President Joe Biden said at a press conference in Vietnam in September that, “The only existential threat humanity faces even more frightening than a nuclear war is global warming going above 1.5 degrees in the next … 10 years.”
Bruce Aylward, assistant director General at the World Health Organization (WHO), said in November that climate change poses an existential threat to all people, in particular pregnant women and children.
Mr. Lindzen asserted that calling climate change an existential threat comes from propaganda.
Even the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC)—the United Nations body for assessing the scientific basis of climate change, its impacts, and options to mitigate—does not call it an existential threat, Mr. Lindzen said.
In its report, the IPCC talks about a reduction in GDP by 3 percent by 2100 owing to climate change, Mr. Lindzen added. “Assuming the GDP has increased several times by then, that doesn’t sound existential to most people.”
Is CO2 Dangerous?
CO2 reduction is “the dream of a regulator,” Mr. Lindzen said. “If you control CO2, you control breathing; if you control breathing, you control everything. So this always is one temptation.”
“The other temptation is the energy sector. No matter how much you clean fossil fuels, they will always produce water vapor and CO2,” Mr. Lindzen explained.
CO2 is being treated as a poison and most people believe that CO2 is dangerous, the scientist continued, but they forget that CO2 is essential.
“The concentration of CO2 in your mouth is about 40,000 parts per million as opposed to 400 outside,” Mr. Lindzen said. A concentration of “5,000 is permitted on a space station.”
“It’s partly poisoned—but worse than that—it’s essential. If you could get rid of 60 percent of the CO2, we’d all be dead.”
“This is a very strange pollutant; it’s essential for plant life,” Mr. Lindzen said. “Yet, because it is the inevitable product of fossil fuel burning in the energy sector, it’s being attacked.”
Unless you are a regular golfer, you probably aren’t aware that the most competent and responsible employee the City has ever seen (with the possible exception of Ricky Roy) is retiring.
Van Berry is basically in charge of his own half-million dollar business over there at the golf course [page 53]. He has had to deal with drought, ice storms, Covidiots complaining about masks, busted golf carts, massive oak trees falling down, cart sheds falling apart, repaving cart paths, Mike Holland passing out on the course every month or so, and all sorts of other insanity. And he did it all for LESS money than our useless Economic Director made in her FIRST year.
A travesty, to say the least.
He deals with tournaments, greens fees, cart fees, membership fees, shed rentals, concessions, and a whole lot more – and unlike Finley, he doesn’t have an Assistant Manager bitch boy to do half his work for him. He runs it all.
Unlike the heads of other departments who spend tens of thousand of dollars to hire outside people to do their jobs for them, Van Berry got his hands dirty all the time. My usual route to town takes me past the golf course about 25 times per week. I have seen Van working on carts, fixing broken mowers, helping clear felled trees after a storm, and doing all sorts of other work that Stacey Ybarra, Ryan Ward and Finley deGraffenreid would never be caught dead doing because they might break a nail or get some doodie on their hands.
Besides all that, he’s a hell of a nice guy with a great head of hair and a very lovely family. He’s probably retiring to go cure cancer and wrestle alligators with Ricky Roy. That’s how bad-ass he is.
Quite frankly, I don’t know how he put up with the idiot Big Wigs at City Hall. That alone should have warranted a yearly bonus in the $10,000 range.
Whoever takes over has some big shoes to fill.
Anyways, I wish you good luck Mr. Berry! Thank you for making Lampasas Golf Course one that is respected and admired by every serious golfer I have ever spoken too.
No surprises here. The question is, will libdummies believe the facts and the math and understand many of them are truly screwed? The only problem is, the actuaries are very aware of all this by now. Price of cancer insurance has likely gone up greatly.
I wouldn’t sleep at night if I were a libdummy between the ages of 20 and 40 who got vaxxed and boosted over and over. I wonder if we know anyone like that?
On the plus side, there will be a LOT less AOC and Bernie Sanders voters around in the next 5-10 years. That’s not really a bad thing.
Scary stuff…..
A 28 percent increase in fatal breast cancer rates in women.
A 35 percent and 12 percent rise in brain cancer deaths among men and women, respectively.
A 55 percent and 41 percent increase in colon cancer deaths among men and women, respectively.
A 60 percent and 55 percent spike in cancer death rates among men and women, respectively, in cancers “without site specification.”
A 60 percent and 80 percent rise in pancreatic cancer deaths among men and women, respectively.
A 120 percent and 35 percent jump in fatal melanomas among men and women, respectively.
It warms the heart to see Beta O’Rourke get absolutely demolished in his Twitter feed by 98% of respondents. It gives me hope that those of us who understand that a secure border is of primary importance FAR outnumber the open-border retards on the left.
The reaction was swift, overwhelming and hilarious:
