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Thank Fossil Fuels For Keeping Your Fridge On Today.

I just happened to check the ERCOT dashboard today, as I was wondering how Bruce Haywood’s beloved solar was doing on a cloudy day like today. You’d think wind would pick up the slack, but you’d be wrong:

Forecast versus REALITY

Hey, what’s a 10 GIGAWATT shortfall between friends?

The grid MUST be in balance every millisecond of every day. When you turn on a light or a heater, the grid MUST increase generated power by EXACTLY that amount. It is a miracle of modern technology.

When solar and wind shit the bed, who comes through and saves the day? That’s right – gas, oil and nuclear.

Nuclear, gas and oil are very reliable because their fuel can be stored easily. Solar and wind are extremely UNPREDICTABLE, which makes life 100x harder for grid operators.

Luckily, we are not “100% renewable” here in Texas like Comrade Clayton Tucker and Bruce Haywire want us to be. Otherwise, we’d all be sitting in the dark with rotting food in the fridge and toilets that won’t flush.

And again on March 29th…

Success Has Many Faces…

To an able-bodied, 31-year-old male who is a socialist bum, lives with his parents and whose accomplishments in life could rest comfortably on an eyelash, this probably DOES look like “success”.

I guess we all have different ideas about success. You could look at this and say “wow – 12 people attending in a county of 20,000 citizens is not really very successful”.

OR you could say “wow – putting that sign that said FREE SOUP under the bridge in the homeless encampment really brought in a crowd!”. Which is what this actually looks like to me.

I’ll admit, the smaller this group gets every year, the more erect I will become.

It is pretty much how I would expect a Democratic convention to be, however:

Bruce Haywood has REALLY thrown in the towel.

Moocher guy who looks like he is there for free food, has crumbs in his beard and will corner you and go into a 45-minute dissertation about how there is an engine that gets 200mpg but Big Oil bought up the patent? Check.

Dummy older guy who still wears a mask thinking it will protect him because his feeble brain has been snapped by CNN propaganda? Check.

A gaggle of old ladies who are just lonely and want someone to talk to? Check.

Female to male ratio of about 3:1? Check – which backs up my beliefs that to be a Democrat you are either a chick (mostly operate on emotion as opposed to logic) or a very stupid man (see: Bruce Haywood/Clayton Tucker/Heath Bishop).

I can forgive women falling for socialist/commie crap because their brains are wired more for emotion. They usually believe in silly things like astrology, palm reading, aromatherapy, pyramid schemes and “life coaches”.

Men who fall for this shit, on the other hand, deserve every ounce of ridicule and scorn we can muster. They should know better.

“I was told there would be free soup!”

Congratulations, Clayton Tucker! May your convention continue to draw a dozen people for years and years to come! Let’s Go Brandon!!!

Government Employee Cathy Kuehne is Seriously Deluded. Thinks She is a Small Business Expert

The delusions are strong with this one. I’m talking Julie Cain Landrum level of delusion.

In today’s Dispatch, Cathy Kuehne (who has been on City council for four years already) was asked to tell us about what she brings to the table as she runs for a third term.

After following her for four years on this blog, I can tell you with great confidence that the REAL answer to that question is an emphatic “nothing“…unless you count a lot of expensive screw-ups, ridiculous money wasting and hysteria about Covid.

She trots out her college major in Business Administration as proof of her business acumen. When you are in your 50s and still talking about what you majored in in college, you are seriously grasping at straws. Nobody gives a shit about that.

This is a woman who thinks spending $1.4 million to give the Hostess House a “facelift” so they can rent it out for $10,000 per year is a brilliant move.

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She claims that thanks to her 30-year-old BBA degree, “she learned what it takes to keep a business running efficiently and effectively…skills which I have applied to our personal business as well“

What business is that? I thought you were a public school teacher for the last 30 years? Last I checked, you and your husband are full time employees of the Lampasas School District – pulling down a combined $126,000 per year nine months….PLUS benefits, sick days, 10 days of Covid leave IN ADDITION to regular sick leave (which is no doubt abused by everyone), all federal holidays, summers off and future pensions guaranteed. All to teach ‘art’, or something.

Is she talking about her “business” of taking photos of kids sports teams? I’d call that more of a hobby. You have no employees, no suppliers, no transportation costs, no exposure to massive price in creases of your packaging costs or shipping costs – and since you and your husband BOTH have extreme job security provided by the taxpayers, you could literally run that ‘business’ at a $10,000 per year loss and it wouldn’t hurt you a bit. It is a side hustle…NOT a small business.

Here are some REAL small businesses: Cherry on Top, Lampasas Beer Market, Bill’s Burgers, Copy Cat, M&M Butcher Block, Alfredo’s, Giovanis, Legacy Awning, PhoLicious, Putters & Gutters, Eve’s Cafe. THOSE are people risking their savings and dealing with 20 different issues every day.

You take pictures of little kids.

Oooh. That sounded a bit weird. Sorry.

Unfortunately, I think Kuehne has her sights set on being mayor someday. That cannot happen. She is part of the Talbert Faction of Cronies. This includes Misti Talbert (now wreaking financial havoc at the LEDC), TJ Monroe (current mayor), and Chuck “The Vampire” Williamson (who has his strings pulled by Monroe). It is an incestuous group that has squandered incredible sums of money over the last 6 or 8 years.

All remnants of the Talbert Faction of Cronies need to be pushed out of the Lampasas political body like a large bowel movement and flushed down the toilet. We need more council members who have actually lived in the real world and run a REAL small business. Zac Morris and Herb Pearce were a good start. Replacing Kuehne with Myles Haider (small business owner) would be a great continuation of this process.

Business Pork Prospects: Dwindling By The Day…

And then there were three (maybe)….

We went from “about four” Business Pork prospects…then to the five supposed prospects the City finally sent me…and now it looks like there are only three left. We know for a fact that Eco-Strong is a complete sham and a joke. It now appears that PhoLicious is now just doing what small business owners do: solving the problem themselves.

You’ll recall that only a few weeks ago, I suggested that PhoLicious only needed some warehouse space – and not a $7 million Business Pork that is still over a year away from ‘completion’. I suggested three different empty buildings around town, but apparently the owner is looking at a better solution.

Good man, Mr. Trousdale!

Ya’ll be sure to get your Pho tomorrow and help out this new local business.

Janet “Crazier” Crozier Falls For “Old Russian Cripple” Prank. Sorry Janet: Haywood Jablowmi Is Actually Me.

My issues with local locust Janet “Crazier” Crozier are well documented (HERE and HERE) over the last couple years. She has cost the City a small fortune with her hare-brained schemes, and is currently in the process of trying to sponge ANOTHER $13,000 or so off of the City for her “community garden”. The moment she started grabbing public funds for her “private and volunteer” club is the moment I had to go on the offensive.

Over six months ago, she posted that she was looking for handicapped people so she could grab some more free money in the form of accessibility grants. Mind you, she has ALREADY managed to blow over $15,000 and is looking to grab another $13,000 for rainwater catch tanks. Besides being a VERY questionable use of City HOT funds, the tanks are superfluous in that she ALREADY had the City install pipes and spigots to provide subsidized City water.

Naturally, I had to email her and pretend to be a crippled old Russian in a wheelchair. The entire exchange (which has been running for the last six months) is below. I made my responses more and more ridiculous to see if she would ever catch on. Naturally, she did not.

Janet is in red text and “Haywood Jablowmi” is in blue:

Hello to the Community Garden!

I saw post for gardening with back injuries.  I have much interest in this.  Is very thoughtful for you to include injured citizens into your grand plans of gardening.  I have this kind of injury after many hunting trips and carrying huge load of deer meat on my shoulders.  That will crumble the back, for sure.  I also spend some time in iron lung but not too much.

I am very interested in gardening as I miss growing very large and girthy zucchini for my wife.

What is your plan for helping us with old bad backs with gardening?  I am in the wheelchair but it is very sturdy.

Thanks you very much for this!

Haywood Jablowmi
Lampasas

Thank you for your interest in gardening. I am in the process of writing a grant to allow us to purchase materials to allow wheelchair access. The entrance into the garden is uneven and will require a rubberized material that will not slip so that wheelchairs can maneuver in and around the garden area. Unfortunately it is very expensive and I am interested in seeing if I have enough people interested in gardening to pursue this.  Building the raised beds is not a concern. We have most of the materials to do that. The raised beds can be 4’x4′ or smaller, but they will be built so that you can move around the bed. We would like to serve at least 4 individuals to make it worth the effort. Hopefully, we can garner enough interest to pursue this grant. 

I will keep your contact information and keep you informed as we start to move forward with this project. Thank you for your interest.

Best regards, Janet Crozier, President Lampasas Community Gardens

Greetings again!

I have wondered about the wheelchair access for the grand community garden place!  Have you found anymore unfortunate handicapped souls like myself to grow vegetables by the Hanna pool?  This weather is very good for growing now – radishes and other root crops do very well now.

Haywood Jablowmi

Hello again, I know I have talked to others in wheelchairs and at that time I had nothing to offer them. I talked to the Parks Board director this week about getting the entrance into the garden built up and leveled off. There is a very expensive mat that will need to be purchased to enable a wheelchair to come into the garden and have it cover the floor of the garden area so you can move around. This is not a project that can be accomplished with out a grant and some engineering. I am trying to find some people to help with this. Be patient we will get there. 

Dear community garden!

Ah yes.  I see now.  Of course, EVERYTHING is much more very expensive these days – since the year started on very bad foot with Brandon.  I’m sure there is some money sloshing around out there in government – there always is.  Perhaps I will contact my neighbor Clayton Tucker about this.  He has many connections with the government spending, it seems.  As champion of the little people in wheeled chairs, I will try to count on him.

I have a question for you, how limiting is your ability to use your wheelchair on a dirt path? Can your wheelchair move on artificial turf? Are you only able to use the wheelchair on level cement or asphalt?

I am very good at traversing all the terrains in my chair with wheels.  You name it.  On artificial turf during football game.  On dirt when chasing down wounded deer with arrow in its liver from good shot with bow.  Also on cement, which is easy to roll over at the Wal-Mart.

Sand gives me much trouble.  No beach for me.  I get bogged down like a monkey doing calculus, to be honest.

Thank you for asking!

I am working on some alternatives to the expensive mat and the equally expensive artificial turf. I have not been able to get the information from the City that I need at this time. I will continue to pursue this before our spring gardening season. Keep the faith. janet

This is very joyous news!!  I have told my wife that we will plant bushels of girthy zucchini and squash during the spring solstice.  We are both so happy that there may be crying tonight into our borscht.  Thanks you, miss Yoder Crozier!  

Hello Mr. Jablowmi,

I want to let you know about a class I am offering at the A&M Agriculture Center Conference Room on November 16 at 3:30-4:30. I will be teaching the Square Foot Gardening Method. This is the method that I think would be the most beneficial to you as a wheelchair gardener. The class is free, although I will be selling the Square Foot Gardening 3rd edition book. It has become my bible for all things Square Foot. Of course there is no obligation to buy it, I just want you to know it will be available.
I really hope you can make it.


All the Best,

Janet Crozier, President Lampasas Community Gardens

Hello Ms President of gardens!

This gardening with the feet sounds very interesting.  Back home we use square meters but is much the same thing, yes?

The date of November 16th is very bad timing for me!  I make my annual trip into west of Texas to Terlingua to watch the Leonid meteor shower!  You know of this shower?  It is very famous. My great, great, great uncle Wilhelm Temple discovers this comet that makes the meteors every year in November.  This Temple-Tuttle comet should REALLY be just “Temple comet” but that yak-eating thief Horace Tuttle try to take some credit and put his name on the comet too.  Very sore spot in my family, to be honest.

This is a week-long mecca for me to the west Texas.  Being old and crippled in the chair with wheels leaves me with few joys.  This meteor shower is one of them – even more joy than gardening the fat zuccini.

I can perhaps make the next instructional class time, yes?

Haywood Jablowmi

I wish I could join you on your adventure but I’m committed. I hope you will be able to come to the December class on the 14th at 3:30. I’m looking forward to meeting you.

Yes, it will be a grand adventure.  I have always said, you should be committed!!  The December class is the Square Feet gardening as well?

Also I see you on the computer YouTube tonight at a City meeting!  Was very exciting!  I exclaim “that is the Garden President” and startle my wife with my yelling!  Our small dog also barks when I do this.

It was about collecting the rains to put on garden, yes?  Rain has much more better properties, I think.  Much more nitrogen from falling down through the sky many miles on the way to the squash and zucchinis.  

Good Morning Haywood,

I always enjoy your emails. I’m sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your last one. I am keeping my fingers crossed that we will get the water collection system, even if I have to include it in a grant. I visited Monday evening with the Eagle Scout troop leaders and asked that the Eagle Scout work on providing the infrastructure (concrete pad )  for the garden beds to stand on in the handicapped garden area. As I told you, this will take some time because we need to get the pavilion built before we can put in a sidewalk for the wheelchair access. One step at a time. 

I hope you have a good adventure in West Texas. Send pictures. Your friend, Janet Crozier.

Good morning, President of Community Gardens Queen!

I made a very big error I am not happy to admit this!  I go to the classroom for the square feet gardening a few days ago on December 14th – then realize it was previous day!  When daylight saving end, instead of turning clock back one HOUR, I turn clock back one DAY!  So I think that Dec 15th is Dec 14th  This has apparently been going on for every day since clocks were changed.  I am old and crippled and do not work, so I never notice this error of wrong day until I show up on wrong day to classroom.  Every day is pretty much the same for me.

Good thing this error was caught or I would have missed the Christmas day holiday, as well as new year.

I am not a fan of this shifting of time to save light.  Very confusing to the goats and chickens and others.  They do not not like those disruptions at all.  Many times, refuse to lay eggs because of this shifting!

But here is wishing you a happy Festivus and Hanukkah and Christmas too.

Haywood

Happy New Year!

I didn’t mean to ignore your email, but I have been helping some gardeners learn the Square Foot Gardening method and helping them decide what they can plant and when to plant in the late winter and early spring. The next and final class in the series will be held at the Lampasas Community Gardens, weather permitting. I’m sure it will be chilly, but we will be building the box and making Mel’s Mix which is the material used instead of dirt. It consists of peat moss, vermiculite, and 5 different kinds of compost in equal amounts. We will demonstrate how to mix it, dampen it, and fill the box. If we have rain, snow or extremely cold weather, we will have a review class in the Conference room at the A&M Extension Center office instead. Of course I will email everyone who signed up and let them know-and that includes you.

The Lampasas Community Garden is behind the Hanna Springs Pool in the Sculpture Garden. Let me know if you can make it. I certainly want to meet the man who thinks I am Queen, ha!

Yours truly,

Janet Crozier, President Lampasas Community Gardens

Good morning, Miss Queen President of Gardening Club,

I hope you are keeping warm during this weather.  Reminds me very much of Russia in the spring time, but for Texas it is colder than hair on polar bear’s ass.  My chickens refuse to leave nest box.

You included many details in your last email – the location of this class and your secret dirt recipe, which you should not give out so freely!  This is a treasure, this recipe for dirt!!  But one detail you did not include is the date and time for this making of dirt!  

I am wondering if you add worms to the dirt sometimes?  This is something I did for many years – adding worms.  Big girthy ones are best, don’t you think?

Thanks you!

Haywood

Are you Russian? I thought you might be Eastern European, but I had no clue you were Russian. I went to Russia in 2012. I loved it. I know about the vegetables grown there. I never saw such big squashes before. I went to a friend’s dacha.

Ok let me give you the time of the class. It is planned for next Tuesday, 3;30-4;30 in the community garden. We are praying for good weather. It will probably be chilly, so dress warmly. If it is extremely cold, we will meet at the A&M Extension Center conference Room . The address is 409 E. Pecan St.I n Lampasas. Call me if you have any questions. 512-434-9293.

Good evening miss garden queen president!

How is the planning for spring? This weather still reminds me of Russia winter but maybe over in a few days. I am meaning a regular winter not nuclear winter as Putin is trying to create on poor Ukrainian souls.

Regards

Haywood J

Vote NO On Proposed 3,800 Acre Solar Farm.

Kudos to Sam Kier (Facebook posts) and also Wayne and Linda Wickman (Dispatch editorial) for laying out the rational case AGAINST the proposed solar farm. They are both 100% right.

There are MANY reasons to oppose this, but the most solid reason to oppose it is that idiots like Bruce Haywood are for it. Bruce is never right about anything and has a mind like a 5-year-old girl, so he is an excellent contrarian indicator on anything he opens his gargantuan mouth about. This was proved true during Covid with his love of masks and remote learning. It was proved true again with his love of Joe Biden.

Let’s take a look at the world of energy through the mind of a slightly retarded five-year-old girl who is also a massive hypocrite:

First of all, Bruce spills a lot of Facebook ink shitting all over oil while extolling the virtues of solar. If solar is such a layup and makes SO much sense, these solar projects shouldn’t need massive subsidies to exist. THAT is what the rest of us are against. The proposed farm would get TEN YEARS of abatement at a 70% rate. Bruce doesn’t care about THAT side of the ledger because Bruce is a useless moron who sits home all day collecting government checks and who thinks money grows on a special government tree. Right Bruce?

“I never pay in but I want to take out!!!”

People who don’t pay any taxes don’t get to have a say in these issues Bruce. So do us a favor and shut up. Mmm kay?

He asks what the big deal is if people want to do this with THEIR property. That’s not the point, dummy. The point is the MASSIVE SUBSIDIES they are asking for. At the end of the day, your taxes will NOT go down and your electric rates will NOT go down. So we all gain ZERO from this project.

The issue isn’t THEIR property. The issue is OUR tax base getting pilfered. Bruce doesn’t care about that because, once again, Bruce is a useless parasite who TAKES from government and sees it as his savior and caretaker. That’s how helpless babies and quasi-retarded five-year-olds (like Bruce Haywood) think.

Hey Bruce? If solar is so awesome and Big Oil is so dirty and evil, why do you have ZERO solar panels on your house and why do you drive a big old gas guzzling pickup truck? Why do you even NEED a truck, Bruce? Are you a fake rancher like your heroine Clayton Tucker? You need that truck to drive around your .794 acre empire?

I even see an evil PROPANE tank there! Planet-killing BASTARD!!!

I even hear through the grapevine that Bruce buys a new truck every couple of years! How about it Bruce? Is that true? I’ll bet you A HUNDRED DOLLARS that it is.

What an environmentalist you are! Cruising around your neighborhood in a giant gas guzzling truck you don’t even NEED getting 14 miles per gallon and then buying a new one every few years. Truly, you are saving the planet!

But you probably sip your 64oz Big Gulp through a cardboard straw so you can sleep at night.

Bruce is like every other fake, hypocrite “environmentalist” (John Kerry, Clayton Tucker, Leonardo DiCaprio) who LOVES to virtue signal and demand stupid shit like plastic straw bans but who refuse to spend a single nickel of their own money or inconvenience themselves in any way whatsoever.

They are all for YOUR money being wasted on these boondoggles, but never spend a penny of their own. Clayton Tucker does the same thing. He has ZERO solar or wind on his parents’ house or grandpa’s ranch. Gigantic hypocrites, all of you.

A final thought:

A single nuclear power plant sits on roughly 220 acres of land. 

For solar panels to generate the equivalent energy, you’d need 8,000 times more space – maybe even more.

Thanks Bruce Haywood, You Dumb Bastard

Another day, another milestone for gas and diesel prices. Now $25 to fill your little 5 gallon diesel can, boys and girls. And about $85 to fill your tank…

Be sure to thank a dipshit liberal today…like Bruce Haywood:

Dumb bastards like Bruce Haywood don’t like peace and prosperity and low gas prices and smaller government.

Dumb bastards like Bruce Haywood don’t like mean tweets and meanies like Donald Trump.

Dumb bastards like Bruce Haywood prefer his president be a dementia patient who routinely shits his pants and his VP to be an annoying cackling whore with an IQ of 87 who smoked penis all the way to the top.

She’s SUPER smart too! Bruce told us so back in 2020:

She brings a lot to the table. Such as a jaw that dislocates and no gag reflex.

Except she’s not…

Dumb bastards like Bruce Haywood are now trying to re-write history and blame high energy prices on Putin. But those of us who aren’t dumb bastards know better.

Hubert Humpback Whale Sighting…

It’s hilarious watching lefty idiots try to convince everyone that high gas prices (and high prices for EVERYTHING) aren’t really Brandon’s fault. It’s the greedy corporations.

This pump is not ‘vandalized’. It is ‘defaced’. That’ll come right off. Entire cities were ‘vandalized’ by BLM retards and libs didn’t care a bit

Funny how all that “greed” just coincidentally started right around Jan of 2021.

Funny too, how it coincided with Brandon printing up trillions of currency units.

In Biden’s America, it’s better not to be employed

Not to mention putting a moratorium on rental payments and college debt payments so every scumbag deadbeat can sit home playing video games and ordering shit on Amazon.

Biden administration extends federal student loan payment pause until May

Oh, and stopping drilling. I’m sure that had nothing to do with it either:

But retards like our old buddy Heath Bishop (aka Hubert Humperdouche) will go to their morbid-obesity-induced graves swearing it’s not his hero Brandon but those evil CEOs. He knows this because he’s THUPER THMART! Thmarter than YOU!

Sure you are buddy. Sure you are.

I guess working the register at the 7-Eleven gas pumps makes him highly-educated on the subject of energy policy.

Ah shit! Lookit that! By the time this article was written the price of gas went even higher! Thanks Heath Bishop, you libtarded manwhale!

Two Years Ago: Reviewing Covid Morons

It’s been nearly two years since a lot of idiots in town (mostly liberals) lost their minds over Covid. The first few weeks were forgivable – we had no clue what we were dealing with. By mid-April, it became obvious very quickly that this was being blown WILDLY out of proportion and only the very old and/or sickly were truly at risk.

That didn’t stop a bunch of idiots like Melissa Johnson, Julie Cain Landrum, Jennifer Moreno, Karen Spivey-Cummings and Potato Head Stephanie Fitzharris from becoming hysterical as their feeble minds broke under the barrage of CNN propaganda.

I hate to say it, but middle-aged females (plus Bruce Haywood) fell for this bullshit the hardest and kept the stupidity alive for another 22 months or so. They were the ones throwing coffee in peoples’ faces and screaming about masks until they were blue in the face. They were the ones riding around in cars by themselves with masks on.

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I really question if we should allow them to vote in the future.

I’ll be reviewing some of these morons over the next few months – both for amusement factor and to remind EVERYONE never to listen to these clowns again. About anything.

Melissa “Crazy Cane Lady” Johnson was one of the biggest offenders. I’ve written about her extensively. But here is a gem I found about her pontificating on the schools re-opening in the fall of 2020. Mind you, this moron does NOT EVEN HAVE SCHOOL-AGED KIDS and should have kept her fat mouth shut to begin with.

Let’s see how her rantings have held up over time:

“Just as well if not better than classrooms”? Absolutely, 10,000% wrong. You could not BE more wrong. Remote learning (which Bruce Haywood also demanded) was an unmitigated disaster. Millions of kids’ lives have been ruined and their educations set back YEARS – some will never recover. Melissa and Bruce don’t really care about that. That’s because they are selfish assholes and terrible people.

“Their lives are at risk”. No they weren’t. In fact, females (who comprise a huge majority of teachers) are at far LESS risk than men when it comes to Covid deaths. Women under 45 are at greater risk of being killed in a car accident than by Covid. We knew this early on but morons like Melissa chose to ignore it. So did morons like Cathy Kuehne (ANOTHER middle-aged female!)

“Along with those of children“. Spectacularly wrong again. Your child is more likely to get eaten by a bear than die of Covid. This was DEFINITELY known early on, but scumbag teachers’ unions used fearmongering to avoid going back to work. Imbeciles like Melissa Johnson enabled it and cheer leaded it by spreading MISINFORMATION back in 2020.

“I pray I am wrong”. Don’t worry dear, you were and always are. No surprises there.

“Sounds like a huge disaster”. It wasn’t. Thank god nobody listened to the Crazy Cane Lady and shut down schools in the fall. School started up in August 2020 and ZERO kids or teachers died.

That includes the terrified school teacher Cathy “Pork Chop” Kuehne:

#Wear your mask! Even though it does nothing! I caught Covid anyways…or maybe it was allergies. Mmmmm, I like pork chops!

Of course, if we HAD listened to these clowns, the harm would have been MASSIVE. Crazy Cane Lady would have later crawled off into the tall weeds and pretended she never said all this and it wouldn’t have effected her anyways. Which is why we ignore clowns like Crazy Cane Lady and it’s why idiots like her are in charge of NOTHING but their own miserable lives, thankfully.

“I really want to be wrong”. Guess what? You were. Spectacularly so. Please refrain from giving advice in the future about ANYTHING. You lack brains, logic, and critical thinking skills. Please also refrain from voting. Thanks.