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Two Goldfish Flushed In Tearful Council Ceremony

And so, with much blubbering and tearful yammering, two Goldfish are dropped into the proverbial toilet to be flushed back out into the real world.

Death Of A Gold Fish Stock Photo - Download Image Now - iStock

Two NEW council members are now dropped into the $1.5 million dollar Talbert/deGraffenreid Wow! Factor Vanity Project Fishbowl to swim for the next two years: Zac Morris and Herb Pearce.

Misti also got her digs in on the “keyboard warriors” out there (me) who criticize City council’s never-ending poor financial decisions.

Poor baby.

If you are going to enjoy the type of low-level celebrity you do by being mayor, you better damn well be ready for being called out for any terrible decisions you make with tax dollars.

Turns out Talbert made a LOT of them over four years. Millions of dollars. That is no exaggeration. Since it clearly rankles Talbert that these colossal bungles are made public here, I’m going to give her a little going-away gift and summarize ALL the horrible spending decisions of the Talbert administration just as soon as I can. Of course, it may take a while since I can think of a dozen right off the top of my head!

I’m sure it ALSO rankled Talbert that while she was busy bragging about her administration being “transparent”, I had to hire a lawyer more than a few times to get PUBLIC records I was entitled to as a citizen. And I wasn’t quiet about it.

Tough cookies, baby.

Misti, of course, spends her time with her little insulated group of fellow politicians and City workers. In doing so, she rarely hears the many, many citizens who privately rage about their taxes being wasted continually. In short, she is in an echo chamber comprised of the likes of Monroe, Williamson, Toups, deGraffenreid, Walsh and other “yes men”.

[In fact, several City council members traveled to the Texas Municipal League conventions repeatedly with the very same employees they were supposed to be overseeing and whose continued employment was in their hands. Not a good look and quite unprofessional.]

This detaches her from reality and allows her to live under the delusion that her selfless and brilliant decisions are being unfairly attacked by meanies.

Here is to hoping that Zac and Herb govern with a strong sense of COST BENEFIT analysis. Let’s hope they remember each tax dollar they spend was taken from a productive citizen in the private sector and that they run the City on sound economics instead of impulsive desires, delusions and crazy pipe dreams.

Let’s hope they view Finley as a WELL-PAID employee of the City instead of a “best fried” they don’t want to upset, like some other council members we know. City council is supposed to represent and advocate for the CITIZENS – not for the employees of the City.

Pool Days Reduced 16.6% – Finley Very Proud Of Himself

Finley has been taking a lap lately that he’s managing to get the pools open this year – despite having trouble recruiting lifeguards due to the shitty $7.25/hr he offers (as a reminder, Finley makes $140,000 per year PLUS huge benefits).

That’s all well and good and no doubt TJ will pat him on the back for a job well done.

What they don’t mention is that the pool is open only FIVE days a week now, as opposed to SIX days previously. So the pool will be open 16.6% LESS days than it was before.

Oddly, the COST to operate the pool still moves higher. For the 2017/2018 fiscal year, the pool (Hanna Springs) was budgeted $134,827 for the season. THIS season, they were budgeted $151,517 – an increase of 12.4% in three years.

On a per-open-day basis, that means the cost of the pool has rocketed something like 34% in three years. All the while, lifeguard pay has remained at a shitty $7.25 per hour. Kinda makes you wonder where all the money goes!

Costs go UP and service goes DOWN. Finley would have made an outstanding Postmaster General.

The $200,000 Hostess House ‘Refresh’ (NOT ‘Remodel’!) Is Now Over $500,000

Well that didn’t take long.

Remember on March 12th when Finley stated in the newspaper that the Hostess House “upgrade” (NOT ‘remodel’!!) had a budget of $200,000?

I laughed at that the very same day and said “I’ll take the over on that”

Well, the estimates are coming in. Just like the ridiculous Bike Trail project, this one is FAR more expensive than they told us:

Apparently, it’ll cost $150,000 JUST to fix the “structural deficiencies” for “public event loads”. Which is odd, because I’ve gone to more than a few “public events” there that were loaded with people. Like the Casino Night back in 2013 or so.

The kitchen will cost between $23,000 and $88,000. Care to guess which one they will go with? I’m guessing Cathy Kuehne will insist on the best “even if it costs a little more” – seeing as how it’s not HER money. It’s YOURS.

The CHEAP version is a cool half a million. I’m sure they’ll get that all back by renting it out. It’ll only take about 97 years or so!

Then again, this is City council with T(otal) J(oke) Monroe at the helm now. NEVER underestimate their ability to go “full retard” and spring for the $771,000 package – which will end up being over a million by the time you multiply it by the “Finley Factor”.

The Goldfish Swim Tonight: 5-24-21 Council Meeting

A weem-a-way, a weem-a-way, a weem-a-way, a weem-a-way

In the fish bowl, the pricey fish bowl, the Goldfish swim tonight!

Oooooh, oooooh eee-ooo-wam-a-way.

Join us on Gab.com – for live commentary. Find us at The Original Lampasshole

New mayor sworn in tonight PLUS two new council members seated. We also get to hear Finley explain how the $200,000 they budgeted for Hostess House “revival” (NOT ‘remodel’!!) will be magically transformed like the fishes and the loaves to cover the $498,600 cost they are now estimating as the MINIMUM.

Lemme guess how Finley will explain it to us rubes: “buy board” something something something “jumping off point” blah blah blah “stakeholders” something something “spinoff benefits” blah blah blah.

Right?

Then the Goldfish will eagerly swallow his bullshit like so many food pellets in the water…their three-second memories completely forgetting there is only $200,000 budgeted for this debacle.

14 Fish Tank Castle Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images — Artists conception of two Goldfish (Monroe and Williamson) next to $1.5 million dollar City council chambers

Ya’ll sing along now….

TJ Monroe To Be Sworn In

Monday night will begin the era of TJ Monroe as mayor of Lampasas. TJ stands for “Total Joke”, as we will unfortunately see between now and May of 2023.

I foresee a LOT of grist for my mill over the next two years. This woman has literally been on the exact WRONG side of every issue both on City council AND the LEDC for ten years now. The wrong side means she ALWAYS votes to spend massive amounts of money on dubious projects and NEVER asks any important questions about it.

That’s pretty hard to do. Even the old saying about a broken clock being right twice a day doesn’t apply to her. I will never EVER forgive her and Williamson for voting to give Deorald Finney a TON of free stuff a couple years ago – the same Finney who is now selling his 67 houses for a HUGE profit thanks to the tsunami of Big City locusts now trying to escape their liberal shit holes like Elko, Nevada…Austin, TX and Norton, Ohio.

TJ and Chuck EVEN voted to WAIVE ALL BUILDING PERMIT FEES for Finney as well! Luckily, they were in the minority and Finney “only” got ‘free’ electrical hookups for all his houses (worth $72,000). If TJ and the other Goldfish had any brains, they would go back to Finney (who is currently building a mansion with all his riches) and try to claw back that $72,000.

Same goes for the $185,000 they handed to former City council chum “Greasy” Chris Harrison over at S2M2 (yet another developer) for Brodie Estates.

In honor of this special occasion, I wrote a limerick for TJ:

There once was a mayor named Monroe

Whose IQ was frighteningly low

Her only two skills

Are racking up bills

And squandering taxpayer dough

Proud Lampasshole Here

I’ve never been as proud to be a Lampasshole as I was last night.

As some of you may know, Putter and Gutters hosted a small documentary last night called “Seeing 2020: The Censored Science of the Covid-19 Pandemic“

P&G was NOT affiliated with the group (America’s Frontline Doctors) – as they made sure to tell me at least 10 times last night. I understand why they have that disclaimer – because there is a small but vociferous gaggle of Karens, morons and douchebags like Heath Bishop (aka Hubert Humperdick) around this area who will loudly try to cancel any business who expresses their opinions on masks, HCQ and all the rest.

I went to this thing expecting maybe 20 nerds like myself who like to hear about randomized clinical trials and the medical history of the U.S. in handling other pandemics.

Instead, I saw at LEAST 100 people packed in there to watch this thing! Maybe more. HUGE turnout. I was floored. I’ve never been so proud of my town as I was right then. To see THAT many people take a couple hours out of their Thursday night to hear FACTS warmed my crusty black heart like you wouldn’t believe.

You know who I DIDN’T see there? The anti-science people who have tried to terrorize and crush us free breathers for the better part of a year. The type of liberal scum who like to vanish Twitter accounts and delete YouTube videos that actually deal with evidence and proof instead of a concocted narrative.

I did NOT see Julie Cain Landrum there. Or Rhonda Witcher. Or Heath Bishop (aka Hubert Humperdick). Or Bruce Haywood. Or Crazy Cane Lady Melissa Johnson. Or Potato Head Stephanie Fitzharris. Or Lola Barnes. Or Janet “Crazier” Crozier.

Not a single one of them.

I didn’t see them because they have no interest in science or truth. They are only interested in “Orange Man Bad” and signaling their virtue with a useless face diaper.

Potato Head Steph even wanted Trump brought up on “crimes against humanity” for suggesting HCQ (a drug that has been used safely for over 70 years) might help in treating Covid. Turns out he was 100% correct. Same with Ivermectin.

I spend most of my time on here bashing the shit out of Marxists, libtards and maskholes because this is a great town and I don’t want to see it infested with “progressive” scumworms. I won’t be happy until the last Covid rat and Big Government parasite has been driven far away from here to Portland Oregon or New York City.

I spend the rest of my time bashing idiot politicians and overpaid government bureaucrats because I know that SMALL government and low taxes are the key to a thriving town. Handing out FREE money (like the $72,000 that was given to Deorald Finney by our own City council or the $150,000 that was handed to S2M2) to subsidize developers to they can build 70 new houses that will fill up with liberal scum fleeing their own ruined cities makes me sick to my stomach. I’ll never let go of that bone. EVER.

There is a serious battle on for America right now. They used to say “if we lose Texas, we lose the Republic”. I think it’s far worse than that. If we lose Texas, we lose the Free World. I truly believe that is no exaggeration. As Lampassholes, we are DEAD CENTER in the heart of Texas. To see so many people out last night gave me hope that there are a ton of us out there – you just haven’t seen our anger yet.

Keep on pushing the bullshit on us, and I think you will. Critical race theory, vax passports, the “insurrection” lie, stolen elections, paying people not to work, inflation, killing pipelines, Hondurans flooding over the border freely, giant pinwheels ruining our electrical grid….and the list goes on.

Poke a dog long enough and you get bitten.

ManWhalePig’s Head Explodes In a Shower Of Eve’s Cheese Noodles

Quick question: would you rather have a million dollars, or Hubert Humperdick’s stomach full of quarters?

The dog is better looking than any human they would produce. Let’s face it.

Tough call.

Anyways, Humperdick’s head was exploding yesterday, along with thousands of other libtards, Marxists, and mask douchebags as Governor Abbott finally grew a pair of balls and did what should have been done months ago.

Governor who makes $150,000 per year finally makes the decisions that Chane Rascoe ($170,000 per year) should have made months ago. Some men are leaders. Some are cowards.

The irony here is that Humperdick likely uses a mobility scooter himself

“No one listened” when he lifted the stupid mask mandates? LOL. If you say so.

Clearly, ManWhalePig is so cross-eyed with rage he can’t even make a coherent insult.

What a rough week it has been for libtards like Humperdick, Melissa Johnson, Cade Snyder, Bruce Haywood and Potato Head Steph Fitzharris. Absolutely brutal week for the dummies…and it’s only Wednesday!!

FIRST, the state of Texas recorded ZERO Covid deaths a couple days ago. Remember when the libtards went ballistic on March 2nd about the mask mandate being lifted? Remember when they predicted death and mayhem?

Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong. Libtards are never right when it comes to common sense, logic or math. It’s the same reason they think giant pinwheels are going to meet all of our energy needs.

NOW, Abbott is not only putting a further end to all this mask bullshit, he is ALSO cutting off the ridiculous “bonus” federal unemployment benefits as of next month.

This enrages ManWhalePig further! It’s not enough that we spend hundreds and hundreds of billions on all types of welfare. ManWhalePig demands we ALSO pay that “bonus” unemployment that is currently incentivizing people to sit on ass and collect a check. It’s not a coincidence that EVERY business in town is desperate for workers.

Ah yes! The very same manatee who I guarantee you has NEVER employed anyone in his life asks the same question as my 7-year-old niece: “why not just pay everyone a lot more?”

How about it, Humperdick? How many employees do you have? Are you paying them all $25/hr so they can “survive”?

Sure! Why not $25/hr? Why not $100? Libtards who ask this question have never run a business and don’t understand simple math. If someone shows up on the first day of work with zero skills and is only worth $8/hr to the business, you cannot pay him $25. You go broke that way, as you are losing $17/hr.

This is VERY simple math but too difficult of a concept for cetaceans to comprehend, apparently.

I try not to be TOO hard on him though. Obesity has clearly shrunk his pea brain. Maybe somebody can explain it to him with colored blocks and very small words? Or maybe some deep-sea whale clicks and singing?

I’ll never understand why morons like Humperdick even live in Texas in the first place! There are PLENTY of states that practice your preferred style of Big Government tyranny and economic retardation. I would suggest New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Michigan or perhaps Oregon. You can go there and strap on a mask for the rest of your life with the other sheep and little bitches. Maybe put on a little tutu also – so you can dance on your hind legs for your masters like a trained poodle.

The Geniuses Are In Charge

It’s a good thing we have highly-paid geniuses like Chane Rascoe and Kevin Bott in charge (combined salaries $276,000 plus bennies) over at the LISD. Otherwise we wouldn’t have these very important protections from dangerous water fountains:

Never mind that kids are WAY more likely to die of (1) choking on their lunch or (2) in a car accident on the WAY to school.

One can only wonder how long this stupid shit will go on. With dummy bureaucrats, the answer is usually: forever.

Adamsville Clearly Smarter Than Our City Gov

From today’s Radiogram:

“An $11,351 grant from the Lower Colorado River Authority and Hamilton County Electric Cooperative will allow the Adamsville Community Center to install additional restrooms and outdoor covered areas. The Community Development Partnership Program grant, along with $2,838 in matching funds, also will enable the center to add barbecue pits and additional seating in new covered areas outdoors.”

So for a total of $14,189 they are installing additional bathrooms, outdoor covered areas, barbeque pits AND additional seating.

Amazing.

Here in Lampasas, on the other hand, Finley insisted we spend $180,000 on a NO BID bathroom at a park nobody uses (Campbell Park).

See pages 131 and 132 at this link if you can’t believe that.

That $180,000 is far greater than the value of many entire HOUSES on the same block as the bathroom.

Also, our SAME City council built restrooms AND a concession stand at Gavin Garret Soccer Park (an excellent facility, btw) for only $18,930 a couple years before that (pages 6 and 7).

So, who is the moron?

P.S. – I’ve been meaning to give some kudos to whichever City worker went and changed the City website around a few months ago (for no reason whatsoever) JUST in the area that contains the “agendas, packets and minutes” so my old links don’t work anymore. Very clever, whoever you are. Makes my life a little harder, but don’t worry: I’ll re-establish the important links little by little.

Kevin Bott Salary About to Skyrocket as He Leaves For Santa Fe School District

Apparently our LISD assistant superintendent is about to leave for greener pastures. There was some debate on Facebook as to whether the LISD should promote from within or look outside. Some wag commented “hell, I’ll do it, what’s it pay?”

Well, here is your answer. The paper pushers at the top of the LISD are paid VERY well. Head honcho LISD superintendent Chane Rascoe is paid $170,000 per year PLUS bennies! That is more than the governor of Texas, by the way.

Bott rakes in the dough too. Here is a list of his salary over the years:

2015: Principal $76,906

2016: Principal $79,325

2017: Principal $82,056

2018: Asst Superintendent $97,990

2019: Asst Superintendent $101,450

2020: Data is not available yet, but thanks to Chane Rascoe’s recommendations, all paper pushers (administrators) were given a 5% raise on March 3rd, 2020 [front page news] – incidentally just WEEKS before Covid hit and allowed them all to take the rest of the year off. That raise would put Bott at $106,522.

That’s a pretty damn good chunk of change for (1) a nine-month work year (2) a job with LOTS of bennies (3) a job where you don’t actually have to educate any kids (4) being an ASSISTANT and (5) a small town where a lot of people bust their ass 12 months a year and make less than half of that.

Anyways, Santa Fe ISD is even more profligate with their spending, luckily for Bott.

The retiring super – Elizabeth Leigh Wall – is shown making $220,308 back in 2019 – and I have zero doubt that number has been bumped up higher since then. Plus Bott will only have to oversee four schools instead of the current five.

The Santa Fe ISD had FIFTY PEOPLE apply for that job. That’s not what happens when you aren’t paying enough. That’s what happens when the position is WILDLY overpaid. This is a truism that escapes idiot bureaucrats like Finley deGraffenreid and “Doctor” Chane Rascoe year after year as they blather about “staying competitive”.

Are these desk jockeys worth these exorbitant sums? We’ll get into that soon, but here is a little teaser info for a few of our schools. Notice the school rankings start to shit the bed (red line) right around 2016….when “Doctor” Rascoe took over.

Link to high school ranking HERE

Link to middle school ranking HERE

Link to Taylor Creek ranking HERE

Link to Hanna Springs ranking HERE

Link to Kline Whitis ranking HERE

Also of note, the year 2017 is when the schools decided to start spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to buy every kid a laptop. They spent $361,000 in 2017, $300,000 in 2018 and $348,000 last month.

Over ONE MILLION DOLLARS on laptops in four years. Let me repeat that: the Lampasas School district spent ONE MILLION DOLLARS on laptops since 2017.

As you can see, that had zero impact on school performance.