Gotta unpack, admire my tan, feed the attack dogs and sort through all my emails. Lots of good stuff in the hopper.
Stay tuned…
Author: admin
Vote NO On Proposed 3,800 Acre Solar Farm.
Kudos to Sam Kier (Facebook posts) and also Wayne and Linda Wickman (Dispatch editorial) for laying out the rational case AGAINST the proposed solar farm. They are both 100% right.
There are MANY reasons to oppose this, but the most solid reason to oppose it is that idiots like Bruce Haywood are for it. Bruce is never right about anything and has a mind like a 5-year-old girl, so he is an excellent contrarian indicator on anything he opens his gargantuan mouth about. This was proved true during Covid with his love of masks and remote learning. It was proved true again with his love of Joe Biden.
Let’s take a look at the world of energy through the mind of a slightly retarded five-year-old girl who is also a massive hypocrite:
First of all, Bruce spills a lot of Facebook ink shitting all over oil while extolling the virtues of solar. If solar is such a layup and makes SO much sense, these solar projects shouldn’t need massive subsidies to exist. THAT is what the rest of us are against. The proposed farm would get TEN YEARS of abatement at a 70% rate. Bruce doesn’t care about THAT side of the ledger because Bruce is a useless moron who sits home all day collecting government checks and who thinks money grows on a special government tree. Right Bruce?
People who don’t pay any taxes don’t get to have a say in these issues Bruce. So do us a favor and shut up. Mmm kay?
He asks what the big deal is if people want to do this with THEIR property. That’s not the point, dummy. The point is the MASSIVE SUBSIDIES they are asking for. At the end of the day, your taxes will NOT go down and your electric rates will NOT go down. So we all gain ZERO from this project.
The issue isn’t THEIR property. The issue is OUR tax base getting pilfered. Bruce doesn’t care about that because, once again, Bruce is a useless parasite who TAKES from government and sees it as his savior and caretaker. That’s how helpless babies and quasi-retarded five-year-olds (like Bruce Haywood) think.
Hey Bruce? If solar is so awesome and Big Oil is so dirty and evil, why do you have ZERO solar panels on your house and why do you drive a big old gas guzzling pickup truck? Why do you even NEED a truck, Bruce? Are you a fake rancher like your heroine Clayton Tucker? You need that truck to drive around your .794 acre empire?
I even hear through the grapevine that Bruce buys a new truck every couple of years! How about it Bruce? Is that true? I’ll bet you A HUNDRED DOLLARS that it is.
What an environmentalist you are! Cruising around your neighborhood in a giant gas guzzling truck you don’t even NEED getting 14 miles per gallon and then buying a new one every few years. Truly, you are saving the planet!
But you probably sip your 64oz Big Gulp through a cardboard straw so you can sleep at night.
Bruce is like every other fake, hypocrite “environmentalist” (John Kerry, Clayton Tucker, Leonardo DiCaprio) who LOVES to virtue signal and demand stupid shit like plastic straw bans but who refuse to spend a single nickel of their own money or inconvenience themselves in any way whatsoever.
They are all for YOUR money being wasted on these boondoggles, but never spend a penny of their own. Clayton Tucker does the same thing. He has ZERO solar or wind on his parents’ house or grandpa’s ranch. Gigantic hypocrites, all of you.
A final thought:
A single nuclear power plant sits on roughly 220 acres of land.
For solar panels to generate the equivalent energy, you’d need 8,000 times more space – maybe even more.
Thanks Bruce Haywood, You Dumb Bastard
Another day, another milestone for gas and diesel prices. Now $25 to fill your little 5 gallon diesel can, boys and girls. And about $85 to fill your tank…
Be sure to thank a dipshit liberal today…like Bruce Haywood:
Dumb bastards like Bruce Haywood don’t like peace and prosperity and low gas prices and smaller government.
Dumb bastards like Bruce Haywood don’t like mean tweets and meanies like Donald Trump.
Dumb bastards like Bruce Haywood prefer his president be a dementia patient who routinely shits his pants and his VP to be an annoying cackling whore with an IQ of 87 who smoked penis all the way to the top.
She’s SUPER smart too! Bruce told us so back in 2020:
Except she’s not…
Dumb bastards like Bruce Haywood are now trying to re-write history and blame high energy prices on Putin. But those of us who aren’t dumb bastards know better.
Hubert Humpback Whale Sighting…
It’s hilarious watching lefty idiots try to convince everyone that high gas prices (and high prices for EVERYTHING) aren’t really Brandon’s fault. It’s the greedy corporations.
Funny how all that “greed” just coincidentally started right around Jan of 2021.
Funny too, how it coincided with Brandon printing up trillions of currency units.
In Biden’s America, it’s better not to be employed
Not to mention putting a moratorium on rental payments and college debt payments so every scumbag deadbeat can sit home playing video games and ordering shit on Amazon.
Biden administration extends federal student loan payment pause until May
Oh, and stopping drilling. I’m sure that had nothing to do with it either:
But retards like our old buddy Heath Bishop (aka Hubert Humperdouche) will go to their morbid-obesity-induced graves swearing it’s not his hero Brandon but those evil CEOs. He knows this because he’s THUPER THMART! Thmarter than YOU!
Sure you are buddy. Sure you are.
I guess working the register at the 7-Eleven gas pumps makes him highly-educated on the subject of energy policy.
Ah shit! Lookit that! By the time this article was written the price of gas went even higher! Thanks Heath Bishop, you libtarded manwhale!
Two Years Ago: Reviewing Covid Morons
It’s been nearly two years since a lot of idiots in town (mostly liberals) lost their minds over Covid. The first few weeks were forgivable – we had no clue what we were dealing with. By mid-April, it became obvious very quickly that this was being blown WILDLY out of proportion and only the very old and/or sickly were truly at risk.
That didn’t stop a bunch of idiots like Melissa Johnson, Julie Cain Landrum, Jennifer Moreno, Karen Spivey-Cummings and Potato Head Stephanie Fitzharris from becoming hysterical as their feeble minds broke under the barrage of CNN propaganda.
I hate to say it, but middle-aged females (plus Bruce Haywood) fell for this bullshit the hardest and kept the stupidity alive for another 22 months or so. They were the ones throwing coffee in peoples’ faces and screaming about masks until they were blue in the face. They were the ones riding around in cars by themselves with masks on.
I really question if we should allow them to vote in the future.
I’ll be reviewing some of these morons over the next few months – both for amusement factor and to remind EVERYONE never to listen to these clowns again. About anything.
Melissa “Crazy Cane Lady” Johnson was one of the biggest offenders. I’ve written about her extensively. But here is a gem I found about her pontificating on the schools re-opening in the fall of 2020. Mind you, this moron does NOT EVEN HAVE SCHOOL-AGED KIDS and should have kept her fat mouth shut to begin with.
Let’s see how her rantings have held up over time:
“Just as well if not better than classrooms”? Absolutely, 10,000% wrong. You could not BE more wrong. Remote learning (which Bruce Haywood also demanded) was an unmitigated disaster. Millions of kids’ lives have been ruined and their educations set back YEARS – some will never recover. Melissa and Bruce don’t really care about that. That’s because they are selfish assholes and terrible people.
“Their lives are at risk”. No they weren’t. In fact, females (who comprise a huge majority of teachers) are at far LESS risk than men when it comes to Covid deaths. Women under 45 are at greater risk of being killed in a car accident than by Covid. We knew this early on but morons like Melissa chose to ignore it. So did morons like Cathy Kuehne (ANOTHER middle-aged female!)
“Along with those of children“. Spectacularly wrong again. Your child is more likely to get eaten by a bear than die of Covid. This was DEFINITELY known early on, but scumbag teachers’ unions used fearmongering to avoid going back to work. Imbeciles like Melissa Johnson enabled it and cheer leaded it by spreading MISINFORMATION back in 2020.
“I pray I am wrong”. Don’t worry dear, you were and always are. No surprises there.
“Sounds like a huge disaster”. It wasn’t. Thank god nobody listened to the Crazy Cane Lady and shut down schools in the fall. School started up in August 2020 and ZERO kids or teachers died.
That includes the terrified school teacher Cathy “Pork Chop” Kuehne:
Of course, if we HAD listened to these clowns, the harm would have been MASSIVE. Crazy Cane Lady would have later crawled off into the tall weeds and pretended she never said all this and it wouldn’t have effected her anyways. Which is why we ignore clowns like Crazy Cane Lady and it’s why idiots like her are in charge of NOTHING but their own miserable lives, thankfully.
“I really want to be wrong”. Guess what? You were. Spectacularly so. Please refrain from giving advice in the future about ANYTHING. You lack brains, logic, and critical thinking skills. Please also refrain from voting. Thanks.
I Think Misti Talbert Hates Children
So this has been making the rounds lately:
Awesome idea! Who DOESN’T love splash pads? This would be a GREAT addition to the City and can be used by literally HUNDREDS of kids.
But $50,000 sounds like a lot of money, doesn’t it? Actually, with the amount of money wasted by Misti Talbert (as mayor), the LEDC board, most of city council and then Misti Talbert (as LEDC president), the City could have a splash pad on every corner of the City. Literally dozens and dozens of them! We’d be up to our assholes in splash pads.
Since we don’t have even ONE splash pad, I have to assume that Misti Talbert hates children. She chose to blow hundreds of thousands millions of dollars during her tenure as mayor and LEDC prez, but not a penny on anything for the kids. Look at all the dumb shit she wasted money on that benefited NOBODY at all or only a select few:
Most recently, LEDC Prez Talbert begged City council for $971,000 for the Business Pork project. That was money the City got from the Feds and could have been used for a LOT of City projects. Instead it will be set on fire with the other $6 million dollars before it. That’s almost TWENTY SPLASH PADS!
Talbert was a HUGE cheerleader for the opulent City council chambers (which gets used about 4 hours per month and only by City council and City employees). Many council members didn’t want to spend $750,000 on the project but Misti and her crew ended up blowing $1.5 million on it anyways. That’s THIRTY SPLASH PADS!
She and her council were instrumental in selling the building for $75,000 and then buying it back for $229,000 – oops. Another THREE SPLASH PADS right there!
Talbert and her crew also okayed blowing $180,000 on a pre-fab bathroom at Campbell Park – even though Misti herself signed off on a combo concessions stand AND restrooms at Garret Soccer Complex for only $19,000 prior to that! It never registered in her pea brain that she shouldn’t pay almost TEN TIMES MORE than she did previously for LESS building! The difference between $19,000 and $180,000? That would be THREE MORE SPLASH PADS!
Let’s not forget the Azbell Electronics A/V system scam that started this entire blog. Misti and City council accepted a bid from Broadcast Works for $34,000 but then inexplicably handed Azbell $95,000 for the exact same job a year later without offering Broadcast Works a chance to rebid. That $60,000 difference could have bought yet another nice splash pad for the kids.
How many splash pads are we up to? I lost count.
Let not forget Deorald Finney – the rich developer that was gifted $72,000 in ‘free’ electrical hookups for his subdivision (Stone Valley) – another splash pad right there!
Oh, and former City council member Chris Harrison with S2M2 begged for $185,000 for HIS development (Brodie Estates) – which he got. There goes another THREE SPLASH PADS! Sheeeit!
Just a small example of how Misti Talbert, TJ Monroe and the LEDC have wasted MOUNTAINS of money that could have been used for something awesome like a splash pad. Instead, it was handed away to special interests or themselves.
What meanies who clearly hate kids.
Honorable mentions:
Hostess House “facelift” of $1.4 million = 28 splash pads
Running electricity and water to Business Pork in 2015 for $1 million (still sits empty 7 years later) = 20 splash pads
Blowing $120,000 on a “comprehensive plan” for the City’s growth = 2.4 splash pads
Wasting $12,000 for plans for a $1.4 million bike trail that will never get built = 1/4 of a splash pad
City Handing Out MORE Electrical Subsidies to Developers While Hiking Rates For All You Suckers
Last February we heard former mayor Talbert heap praise on city manager deGraffenreid for his deft handling of the winter storm and the electrical cost spikes. We were told the electrical fund was in awesome shape and we should all kiss Finley’s bean bag in thanks for this.
We found out months later that this was all a lie and, in fact, the electrical fund was in bad shape – thus rates would need to be hiked on all the peasants on November 1st, 2021.
Oddly, at the EXACT SAME TIME the City was hiking rates to shore up the fund, they were handing out even MORE free electrical hookups to developers so those developers could save about $1,600 on houses they will likely sell for over $200,000.
On November 8th, the City signed an agreement to waive $19,716 worth of electrical hookups for the Hidden Oaks subdivision you see going in on Old Naruna road. There will be 12 houses in there.
This isn’t the first time the City has handed out free electrical stuff to developers. Recall that Deorald Finney got the same deal – which cost the City $72,000 in lost revenue.
Hillside Acres got $37,254 in “incentives” for free electrical hookups.
Now Hidden Oaks will cost the City $19,716 in lost revenue.
Funny that the City has to subsidize growth with hundreds of thousands in tax dollars at the very same time Talbert is hysterically pointing south and telling us “they’re coming! They’re coming!”.
No shit they are coming. They’re coming no matter what. You should be EXTRACTING your pound of flesh NOW with impact fees on developers – not handing them free shit, you morons.
Because not far down the road lies millions in costs (see photo below) to ‘improve water pressure’ and ‘accommodate growth’ and all the other very costly measures needed to handle a massive influx of Austin retards:
The “upper pressure plane” issue started about the time they plunked 67 new homes up there. Talbert would have you believe that the tiny increase in property taxes they get from those 67 houses will somehow offset the millions in future water/wastewater expenses. Which makes her an imbecile of biblical proportions.
Lampasshole Smarter Than Local Doctor
A mere five months ago, “doctor” James Cain was in the paper admonishing everyone to get vaccinated – no questions asked. He didn’t care about natural immunity. Never even occurred to him. Didn’t care about your age, weight or anything else. Just get the jab.
Who knows how many young, healthy people he pushed into getting that useless jab. Who knows how many suffered adverse reactions because of his moronic advice.
When I went to what would be my first (and last) visit to him as my new doctor, I told him I wanted to get a Covid antibody test, as you’ll recall. His response?
“What purpose would that serve?”
Jesus H. Christ.
He told the newspaper: “Cain said he discusses the vaccine science to hesitant patients and stresses the need to “trust in their doctors.”
Unfortunately, SOME doctors (like him) had no idea what they were talking about and ignored a hundred years of established science.
Here is where we are today:
What a complete embarrassment to the medical community. He probably suggests leeches for high blood pressure too.
Cain also said: “He also encourages people to get vaccinated because the “shots prevent death” and to help decrease the workload in area hospitals due to COVID-related admissions“
Literally NONE of that is true.
The most aggravating part of the Covid debacle is all the morons who panicked and gave shitty advice and screamed at those of us who kept our heads never had to answer for their crimes. They just slink off into the tall weeds and pretend they never said any of that stuff.
Things I’ve learned in the past 2 years:
1. Way more people are a lot dumber than I thought
2. That’s it. That’s all I got
Business Pork Prospects – Part III (PhoLicious)
We covered Nextlink in the last segment. It’s time to look at PhoLicious.
PHOLICIOUS: You gotta love the owners. They came out of nowhere and have a kick-ass little spot across from Hoffpauir Feed Store, they’re on Amazon, they have a slick website, they both seem SUPER nice. They quit their old jobs (thanks Covid!) and took the plunge. I have zero doubt they put in 16 hour days and kill themselves to make it work. They are the quintessential small business owner taking risk and working hard to build something of value.
In other words, the exact OPPOSITE of Julie Landrum at Wool & Vine.
I hope they are a raging success and make a million bucks.
BUT – does that make them a realistic candidate as a viable tenant for the $7.1 million dollar Business Pork and all the infrastructure it entails?
Sadly, no. For several reasons:
#1 Their HUGE pressing need is just plain old space. Just a big, empty warehouse. I’m guessing that a MASSIVE percentage of their business is actually the Amazon side of things. I’ve seen their Facebook videos of piles and piles of boxes (filled with the kits) and there’s just no way they are selling all that in town here. The owner also admitted to me during a chat that they REALLY need warehouse space.
She also lamented the ridiculous cost of land around town. I agreed. There are a hell of a lot of property owners who are deluded about what their building is worth – which is why we have MANY empty building sitting around town.
Here is a thought: call up the owner of one of these empty buildings that is sitting there earning $0 in rent and offer to use it as a warehouse. I can think of a few immediately:
Rutlands. This was supposed to be turned into lofts, according to an article from THREE YEARS ago. It sits there – big and empty and waiting to hold Pho boxes.
“Millican’s Dry Goods” eyesore that sits on the square right next to Windsor Foods and the county offices. I’ve been inside that spot. It is massive. I believe the owners live in Kempner or Cove. Make them an offer.
The old AmVets building. Pretty sure it’s empty ever since Twisted Oak went under. That’s also a huge spot.
#2 They are in a cut-throat business and have only been around a short while. There is no guarantee they will be around in two years (it will be at LEAST another 18 months before the Business Pork is ‘shovel ready’ for the second time).
On Amazon, they are competing with the likes of “Phonomenal” and about a dozen other Pho makers. PhoLicious needs to get their price down about 20% if they hope to compete long term. I know this because my best friend is former VP of global operations for Golden State Foods and he knows the business.
[In fact, if PhoLicious happens to read this and wants to pick his brain, contact me at lampasshole@protonmail.com]
#3 They don’t really employ anyone right now. I think it’s just the two of them doing everything themselves. Maybe have another body or two at $15/hr to put the kits together, but we are not talking a huge amount of jobs here. Certainly not enough to justify $7.1 million dollars in land, roads, electricity, water, etc that the Business Pork has committed to.
In conclusion: while I certainly hope they hit it big, there is a lot of uncertainty here and not really the potential for massive jobs (like, say, Ajinomoto Windsor type jobs). If their financials are solid and prospects good, they should be able to EASILY get a bank loan (if needed) and secure some warehouse rental space that is badly needed to reach the next level.
Damn, all this talk about pho is making me hungry. I think I’ll head up to Pholicious and grab a beef pho kit!
P.S. – it’s funny to me that LEDC is bending over backwards for a tiny, brand-new, yet-to-be-proven little “food production” operation when they told Anijimoto Foods to go fuck themselves in 2016 when Ajinomoto offered to bring TWO HUNDRED MORE JOBS to Lampasas. Classic LEDC stupidity. Ironically, Talbert, Monroe and Williamson were all on city council at that time too.
Make City Council Great Again!
Yesterday when I picked up the kid from school, I noticed a dog trotting down the street.
It had some hard excrement stuck to its matted fur just to the left of his asshole. This reminded me of City council a little bit.
You see, eventually that hardened turd will fall off and his bum can be clean again. Just like city council can be awesome again. We just need to remove some turds.
Like Cathy Kuehne.
Be sure to vote ABC in May (Anyone But Cathy)